Miami, FL – According to police, an unidentified homeowner heard his dog making a racket at about 5:00 Wednesday morning. He walked outside to find a naked man choking the shit out of his Rottweiler on his front porch.
That nekkid man was later identified as 20-year-old Jeffery Delice.
The homeowner confronted Delice and attempted to free his dog. At that point, police say, Delice attacked, biting and choking the homeowner.
Fearing for his life, the homeowner fired his gun twice, hitting the nekkid intruder once. In the foot.
When that failed to keep the crazed man down, the homeowner shot again. Unfortunately, the gun jammed. He did, however, manage to pin the crazy nekkid dude down while family members called for help.
When police arrived, the hungry little fucker tried to bite them, too.
Delice was transported to the hospital for the gunshot wound and is expected to make a full recovery. No word on whether drugs or alcohol were involved. *coughbathsaltscough*
He’s been charged with, among other things, assault, resisting arrest with violence, lewd and lascivious behavior and animal cruelty.…Continue Reading
Meet Deni Noa. He reportedly celebrated the New Year by punching some random female driver in the eye (one of Morbid’s sick fantasies), getting nekkid, and fighting with police.
Yep, according to police, Noa approached a vehicle stopped at a red light, reached inside the window, and popped the female behind the wheel before disappearing into the night. Presumably while cackling maniacally and drooling. Maybe even skipping….
As an officer was taking the woman’s statement, he heard a report over the radio about a man lying on a roadway nearby.
The officer responding to that call reported seeing a man laying on the street all nekkid and stuff. He also reported seeing two other men at the scene… they were apparently struggling with the nekkid guy and trying to stuff him in the trunk of their car.
Turns out the two other men on the scene were Noa’s brothers. Know why they were trying to stuff Noa in the trunk?…Continue Reading
Abby Conder, the owner of said horse, said her world class minis have been under attack since May.
“She had been severely brutalized,” Conder said of one of her horses. “She had been raped both by a man and by several objects. She was so hematomed on the back and so bloody, that she looked like they put her whole bottom through a garbage disposal.”
The horse fucker apparently left his DNA behind… but without a suspect, that means squat.
Conder first purchased a dog to protect the horses, only to have the poor thing beaten to death. She and her husband then invested in a surveillance camera and live internet feed. They got their first look at him on Saturday.
“He inspected the horses that were on the left first to see what horses were in stalls,” Conder said. ”They are tied to the corner to the fence, where they have been abused and been tortured.…Continue Reading
Vero Beach, FL – Robert Briley, 44, was arrested on an assault charge back in December, after allegedly swinging a bat at his friend because dude refused to partake in a threesome with Briley and his wife.
According to the unidentified
prude friend, Briley had been drinking quite heavily the day before the alleged incident, and repeatedly requested the friend get naughty with him and his wife. Briley apparently wanted the friend to be the recipient of a blowjob, courtesy of the wife, before the act of three-way copulation commenced.
The 37-year-old friend told police he kept saying no, but Briley kept at it. Eventually, the friend caved and agreed to take Mrs. Briley into his room. Alone. (Someone apparently doesn’t get the whole ménage à trois thing, eh)?
Anyway, that’s about the time Briley started swingin’ his big ol’ bat around. Heh…giggity.
Fortunately for the friend, neither Briley nor his bat managed make contact - no injuries were reported.
The friend managed to escape the home unscathed, but later told police he was still a little skeer’d of Briley because in addition to the bat, Briley had guns in the residence.…Continue Reading
Manatee County, FL — A 50-year-old Florida woman is facing battery charges after police allege she roughed up her 32-year-old boyfriend because the bastard blew his load and failed to finish her off during a mutual oral sex session.
Ahhh, Florida… you never fail to disappoint.
According to the police report, Jennie Scott and her long-term on again-off again boyfriend, Jilberto Deleon, were sixty-nining late Thursday evening, when Deleon “finished first and stopped pleasuring her.” This, of course, led to
a stabbing an argument.
At some point during the argument, witnesses say, Scott turned violent, punching and scratching Deleon.
Witnesses claim Scott armed herself with a stick and began beating Deleon. Fortunately for him, he was able to disarm her and hand the stick off to one of the witnesses before he lost an eye or something.
Undeterred, Scott reportedly picked up a nearby wrench and threatened to brain Deleon, but was grabbed from behind and disarmed once again.
Scott later told police that not only was she angry about Deleon’s apparent lack of oral skills, she was also pissed because she had heard him having sex with another woman on the phone earlier that day.…Continue Reading
Orlando, FL – A man in Orlando is facing murder charges after police say he stabbed a wheelchair-bound man to death while trying to rob them inside a McDonald’s.
Authorities say that on Christmas evening, 38-year-old Jerry Tyson walked into the McDonald’s and tried taking money out of the victim’s hand as they were paying for their food.
When the victim refused to let go of his cash, Tyson stabbed them multiple times with a butcher knife. He then ran from the store where another customer tried to hit Tyson with their car.
The attempt was unsuccessful and Tyson fled into some nearby woods. Police would later locate Tyson hiding behind a tree after bringing in a K-9 unit that would also bite Tyson in the leg. He was arrested and charged with second-degree murder, robbery and resisting an officer with violence.
The unidentified victim was taken to Orlando Regional Medical Center, where he died. Employees at the McDonald’s said both Tyson and the victim had come into the McDonald’s before and were known to the employees.…Continue Reading
DeLand, FL – A Florida man has been accused of taking a belt to three young children because one of them farted in the car and failed to own up to it.
Austin Davis, 32, was taken into custody Thursday in connection with the incident, which apparently occurred sometime during Thanksgiving Day weekend.
According to police, Davis was traveling with the children when one of ‘em let a juicy one rip. He apparently became unhinged when the kiddos zipped their lips and refused to tattle on the butt trumpeter, and each got a taste of the belt.
The beatings were so severe, police say, the children had significant bruising and painful injuries. A female relative close to the children took photos of the alleged injuries, but for whatever reason, didn’t inform the authorities until just recently.
The photos reportedly showed a 6-year-old with dark bruising to the legs, buttocks and thighs. A 12-year-old also had dark bruises on his legs and thighs. And a 9-year-old refused to have pictures of his bruises taken because he feared retaliation if Davis found out he reported the incident.…Continue Reading
ORANGE CITY, FL – Richard Watson has been charged with attempted murder for allegedly trying to drown his wife in a dog’s water bowl after arguing about an under cooked pizza.
It happened Wednesday night as Richard and his wife, Debra, settled in with two frozen pizzas and began watching the 12-12-12 charity event on television.
After realizing his pizza was still raw, Richard threw a tantrum then threw his plate of food at the front door. In response, Debra threw her plate of food as well. This enraged Richard, so he tackled Debra to the ground and then held her head in a dog’s water bowl that contained three inches of water.
Debra said she wasn’t sure if he was using his hands or his knee to hold her head in place, but she’s positive she heard him say he was going to kill her. After managing to break free, Debra said Richard began strangling her in the living room by the front door.
“She felt her life was going to end,” said Orange City Cmdr.…Continue Reading
Police say Robert Bodiddlie Ball, 49, invited his estranged wife Janet over to his place Monday in the hopes of fixing their broken marriage.
Much to his dismay, Janet admitted that after 32 years together, she was no longer in love with him. *sob*
Instead of chuckin’ the whole thing in the fuckit buckit and moving on, Ball got all kinds of violent, reportedly punching the woman in the head and pocketing her car keys and cell phone to prevent her from leaving or calling for help.
After roughing her up a bit, Ball apparently whipped out a knife and forced her to sit and watch TV with him for a bit, repeatedly threatening to kill her if she gave him any trouble.
At about 5:00 p.m. that evening, police say Ball forced Janet to drive to Golden Corral, where he treated her to an endless buffet of less-than-fresh food and a side of food poisoning.…Continue Reading
HUDSON, FL -- Pasco County authorities say 16-year-old Jessica Laney hanged herself Sunday night, and some of her friends say cyber-bullying is to blame.
According to one of her friends, Laney attended Fivay High School after being transferred there due to bullying at her previous high school. But they say the bullying that led to Laney killing herself did not come from her new school, but rather from anonymous people online. In particular, members of the website Ask.fm.
For the un-initiated, Ask.fm is a social site where users can invite questions and comments from other members, anonymously. Laney’s page is full of the standard crap you would expect on a cute 16-year-old girl’s page, but also contains some disparaging comments from anonymous users calling her fat and a loser. Some even tell teh girl no one cares about her and instruct Laney to hurry up and kill herself.
Her friends say these negative comments are what led the girl to hang herself Sunday night, although official from the Pasco County Sheriff’s Office says neither Laney’s parents nor Laney’s boyfriend were aware of Laney being bullied.…Continue Reading
Boston, MA – After two weeks on the run, a couple wanted by police for the alleged beating and burning of a 3-year-old boy have been apprehended at a Florida theme park.
Earlier this month, arrest warrants were issued for 23-year-old Jessica Linscott and 27-year-old Roland Dow, after Linscott’s 3-year-old son was dropped of at Exeter Hospital suffering from head trauma and burns to his arms.
The couple stated that his injuries were self-inflicted, but doctor’s determined the boy had been abused and contacted police. Authorities gave the couple the option of turning themselves in, but they took the opportunity to go on the run.
It took investigators two weeks, but after countless hours searching combined with tips from the community, the couple were finally located at Universal Studios in Orlando. Marshals spent all day Wednesday in the park searching for the couple, finally finding them at the end of the day just as they had finished watching a parade.
Linscott and Dow were booked into the Orange County Jail, and are being held pending their arraignment on fugitive from justice charges in Florida.…Continue Reading
Boca Raton, FL – Most who know me personally, or my current girlfriend, are aware that I like my women with a little bit of crazy in ‘em. They just have a way of making life a little more interesting. But they can also be a bit of a gamble, as one man found out during his first date with 35-year-old Jillian Martone.
When 39-year-old Efren Molina first and Martone first met, they were interested in each other enough to arrange a date to take place a week later. The two must have had a pretty good time together on that date because after the dinner and the drinks, Molina invited Martone back to his place where they reportedly spent “several hours.”
But sometime after midnight, the date, and Martone, went off the rails. That’s when Martone made a comment insinuating that she was now Molina’s girlfriend. When Molina objected to this new title that had been bestowed upon him, Martone became enraged and was no longer able to retain a firm grip on the thin shreds of sanity she uses to get first dates.…Continue Reading
According to police, Thomas Matheson, 27, was caring for the boy last Friday evening while the child’s mother worked.
At some point that night, Matheson allegedly gave the kid a massive titty-twister – twisting and pulling so hard, police say, “the skin covering the nipples was removed.”
The child apparently ran around nipple-less for days and it wasn’t until Tuesday that his grandma finally noticed the injury and called authorities.
The kid was taken to Morton Plant North Bay Hospital, where doctors there determined that the removal of the toddler’s nipples was due to trauma. They also say it is unlikely the boy’s nipples will ever grow back.
Matheson later told police he wasn’t even aware the child had been hurt, even though the boy had been running around shirtless the evening of the alleged assault. No word on why mom didn’t notice the kid was missing his nipples.…Continue Reading
Back in August, Megan’s husband, 32-year-old Joshua Kimbrough, doused her with gasoline in their home while allegedly high on heroin. After being set on fire, Megan ran from the home where neighbors put out the flames with blankets. As his wife was being transported to the hospital, Joshua went on a mini crime spree where he carjacked someone at gunpoint, burglarized a house, and then used a stolen credit card at a gas station.
While her husband was out being a douche, Megan was airlifted to a burn unit suffering from burns to over 80 percent of her body. Her father stated that 32 to 39 percent of Megan’s burns were third-degree burns. She was not expected to survive the night, but Megan wasn’t giving up that easily.
For three months, Megan underwent multiple medical procedures, including twelve skin grafts.…Continue Reading
BARTOW, FL – A couple of cell phone store employees in Florida have gotten themselves into a bit of trouble after they stole a female customer’s personal photos off her phone and then shared them.
The unidentified woman came to the Cellular Sales of Knoxville store to purchase a new phone. Joshua Stuart, 24, told the woman that he would transfer all of her data from her old phone to the new one she just bought. While Joshua delivered on this promise of data transfer, he also kept some nude photos of the woman he found on her old phone. No idea what the photos were, but they were good enough to share with fellow employee, 26-year-old Gregory Lampert.
Their activities may have gone unnoticed had Joshua and Gregory not decided to show their find to another customer in the store. Unfortunately for the pair, this customer recognized the woman in the pics and immediately informed her that she was pretty popular over at the cell phone store and her private pics may have become wanking material for two of the store’s employees.…Continue Reading
DEERFIELD BEACH, FL – Shortly after Edward Archbold won a cockroach eating contest at Ben Siegel Reptile Store, he collapsed in front of the store and died.
The 32-year-old had been participating the store’s second annual Midnight Madness sale that included a cockroach eating contest. The winner of the contest would be the proud owner of an $850 Ivory ball python which, if he won it, Archbold had planned on selling to the friend who brought him there.
Around 30 people were compteting for the python, but Archbold was victorious after downing dozens of cockroaches and worms. His victory was short lived, however, as after the contest was over Archbold became ill and started throwing up. I have seen some horrific vomit in my life, some of it my own, but just thinking of what came back out of Archbold’s mouth almost trips my gag reflex.
Paramedics ended up being called to the scene after Archbold collapsed in front of the store. He was taken to the hospital where he was later pronounced dead. …Continue Reading
DELTONA, FL – Police have charged three teens with animal cruelty after they admitted to using wooden sticks to beat three ducks to death.
Police say that a relative of the three boys called 911 to report watching the teens beat the ducks as she was outside hanging Halloween decorations. The woman told dispatch that she just witnessed her nephews “beat the (expletive)” out of some ducks and that the ducks are now severely injured and unable to walk. When police arrived at the location, an abandoned home, they found three dead ducks and a bloody stick.
When questioned, the two brothers and their cousin admitted to police that they’d hit the ducks with sticks. They didn’t remember who started it, but one of the juveniles told police they were wrestling before deciding to chase the ducks to play with them. Another said they had went to the house with the sole intention of killing the animals. One of the teens even admitted that after severely injuring the ducks with sticks, he’d stepped on their necks to end their suffering.…Continue Reading
Lakeland, FL — Police have charged 14-year-old Cassidy Goodson with first-degree murder after she gave birth to a full-term baby boy and then proceeded to choke him to death.
Three days after deputies had been called to Lakeland Regional Medical Center on a report of Cassidy being treated for a miscarriage, the Sheriff’s Office received a call from the girl’s mother after she made a gruesome discovery in her daughter’s room.
Teresa Goodson had been collecting dirty laundry when she smelled something bad coming from Cassidy’s room. Upon investigating, she found a shoebox with a dead baby inside. Homicide detectives arrived at the home and interviewed Cassidy, who showed little emotion while explaining why she a dead baby in her room rotting in a shoebox.
The ninth- grader at Kathleen High School told them that she had been hiding her pregnancy for months, and on the morning of Sept. 19, she went into labor in the bathroom. After using a pair of scissors to try and pry the baby out, she finally gave birth to a 9.5-pound, 20.4-inch baby boy.…Continue Reading
SANFORD, FL – A couple months ago we reported on a man in Georgia who was accused of beating a woman with her dog. Now it is being reported that a man in Florida has been accused of doing the same thing.
Michael Jones, 42, was arrested last week on domestic battery and animal cruelty charges after police say he beat his live-in girlfriend with her own dog.
According to reports, Jones became angry when his live-in girlfriend and her daughter arrived home and one of them had tried to smoked crack cocaine. Jones informed her that he was going to kill her puppy before walking outside, pulling the dog out of his girlfriend’s her car, and punching out the windshield.
According to the victim, she tried to get the dog away from Jones when he began swinging it in the air. She said Jones pushed her to the ground and began beating her with her dog, striking her with the animal several times. After beating her with her dog, she says Jones choked her before riding away on a bicycle while carrying the dog.…Continue Reading
PORT CHARLOTTE, FL. - A teenager in Florida became so enraged that three of his friends refused to smoke synthetic marijuana that he shot all of them with a pellet gun.
Three boys told police they were hanging out at a home with 15-year-old Tybreel Bentley when Bentley started smoking that synthetic weed bullshit. When Bentley offered it to the other three boys, they all refused to partake.
When Bentley kept insisting, one of the teens smacked the joint out of Bentley’s hand. At that point, Bentley reportedly walked out of the room and returned with a pellet gun that he used to open fire on the three teens.
I’d understand getting pissed if someone knocked a tray of coke out of their hands, or purposely smashed a bong loaded with Danko’s Strain of the Week, but we’re talking about some crap you can get in a convenience store, for Cthulhu’s sake.
Regardless, for a whiny, synthetic weed smoker, Bentley was a pretty good shot — hitting the three boys nine times.…Continue Reading