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Man Arrested For Assault With Banana

January 7, 2014 at 6:08 am by  

Joseph SmolinskyPort Richey, FL — No, that’s not a euphemism… get your minds outta the gutter, ya naughty. Not a lot to this one, but it involves an assault with a banana, so I’m on it. The story, not the banana…

Joseph Smolinsky, 36, is facing a couple of charges after allegedly assaulting his live-in girlfriend with a banana, and for resisting arrest after the fact.

Police were called to the couple’s home on New Year’s Day, and learned from the girlfriend that Smolinsky threw a banana at her. Smolinsky denied the accusation, of course, and blamed the banana tossing on the woman.

It was going to take some solid detective work to get to the bottom of this one….

After a thorough investigation, officers determined Smolinsky was the offending party. And how did they arrive at this conclusion? Well, the woman was sporting a red mark on the face, where the banana apparently landed, and there appeared to be a bit of banana peel on the floor near the couch where the woman was sitting.…

SwirliePembroke Pines, FL — Police are on the lookout for a man witnesses claim shoved a woman’s head into a toilet at a Burger King restaurant Sunday morning.

According to witnesses, the man followed the woman into the restroom at about 7:30 that morning and proceeded to give her a swirlie in the shitter. No word on whether any actual flushing was involved.

When said witnesses demanded the man and woman vacate the restroom, cause, you know, people gotta pee, the man forcefully grabbed the woman by the hair and dragged her out of the restaurant.

He was then seen shoving the woman into an Infiniti G35, and was overheard saying something like, “You’re going to die today and I’m going to be the one to do it.” Which, after having one’s head dunked into a BK toilet, wouldn’t be such a terrible idea. Especially after the breakfast rush….

The man is described as a slim 20-something, about 6 feet tall, and dressed in a white tank top. And pants, I assume.…

Joshua WerbickiWEST MELBOURNE, FL – Joshua Werbicki is facing animal cruelty charges after the 22-year-old was caught on video repeatedly having sex with his roommate’s dog.

According to the police report, the owner of the dog set up surveillance cameras in her home to try and figure out what was wrong with her German shepherd mix. The dog is described as a “family pet” and had recently been limping around the house and cowering whenever approached by family members.

The reason for the dog’s injuries and fearful behavior was revealed when home surveillance video captured Joshua repeatedly having sex with the woman’s dog. If getting busted repeatedly fucking a dog wasn’t bad enough, Joshua was arrested inside the Papa John’s he worked at.

Joshua Werbicki has been charged with animal cruelty, a felony, and sexual acts involving animals, a misdemeanor. Brevard County Animal Services Sgt. Michael Healy said his agency could seek an injunction to have Joshua banned from owning, or living with, any type of animal in the county.

Joshua holds the honored distinction of being the first person featured on D’D in 2014 for having sex with an animal.…

Darrin Spivey, 35, and his 15-year-old son  Dillon SanchezTAMPA, FL – A father and his teenage son drowned on Christmas day while doing some cave diving with some new diving gear they had received as presents.

Deputies got a call from 35-year-old Darrin Spivey’s fiancee at around 3 p.m. after he and his 15-year-old son, Dillon Sanchez, did not return home from a cave dive as scheduled.

Spivey and his son had went out to the Chassahowitzka Wildlife Refuge earlier that morning to test out some new diving equipment inside an underwater cave known as the Eagle’s Nest Sink – an underwater cave that can reach depths of 300-feet.

She ended up driving out to the location and called police when she found Spivey’s car still in the parking lot but could find no sign of the pair, and Spivey would not answer his cell phone. A hunter told police he’d seen the pair suiting up to dive at around 11 a.m., but did not see them at anytime afterwards.

Divers went into the cave to search for the father and son,  and found their bodies in the main cavern area.…

Brandon AydelottGulf Breeze, FL – Police say 17-year-old Brandon Aydelott murdered his mother on Christmas Eve then smiled as he described the brutal attack to investigators.

According to reports, Brandon and his mother, Sharon Aydelott, have not been getting long well the last few months. The arguing between the two had gotten so bad that the promising pitcher on the Gulf Breeze High School baseball team had moved out of the home and was staying with a friend since September.

When one of Sharon’s friends went to visit her on Christmas Eve, they found the front door was open and smeared with blood. Just inside the home they found Sharon lying dead in a pool of blood. She’d been beaten, stabbed, had her throat slashed, and had a large kitchen knife protruding from her eye socket.

Police tracked Brandon down to the home where he’d been staying and was taken into custody without resistance. Police noted that his clothes were clean, but he did have a bit of dried blood on his wrist.…

Axel Esteban InostrozaFort Lauderdale, FL – Axel Esteban Inostroza, 27, is in custody after allegedly hitting 53-year-old cyclist Craig Camlin, and driving away with the victim still stuck to his vehicle.

Early Monday morning, Camlin went on what he thought would be a nice bike ride, only to be hit from behind by a vehicle matching the description of Inostroza’s black Ford Mustang. After impact, police say, Camlin hit the front windshield, rolled over the roof of the car, and landed onto the back windshield where he was wedged between the window and the spoiler.

Inostroza is said to have then driven for another two miles before dumping the injured man in a wooded area behind a dumpster. After that, he did what every normal person does after an accident — he went home and took a nap.

A few hours later, a landscaping crew found the man clinging to life. 911 was called and Camlin was taken to the hospital. His body temperature was so low when they got to him that if he hadn’t been found when he was, it’s likely he wouldn’t have survived.…

Seth ThompsonBoca Raton, FL — A former employee of Florida Atlantic University is facing charges after police say he secretly filmed students pissing and masturbating in the men’s restroom on the campus, then uploaded those video files to several pornographic websites.

Seth Thompson, a.k.a. Jerking_Bud, apparently filmed the unsuspecting men doing whatever it is that men do in a public restroom (Masturbating? Really?), then uploaded the videos to sites like PornHub, XTube, yuvutv, and Tumblr.

Police were tipped off to these skeevy shenanigans by one of the stars of his video clips — some student apparently stumbled across a video of himself pissing on PornHub. That same student recalled another male in the restroom at the time “casting suspicious glances” his way and carrying a large backpack.

Police reportedly found dozens of similar videos, with eye-catching titles like “A college kid and his dad taking a leak at a public bathroom,” “My buddy jerking off in the stall next to me,” and “My collection of hidden videos of guys taking a leak and jerking off,” posted on the aforementioned websites… all uploaded under the Jerking_Bud moniker. …

Juan GonzalezDavie, FL — A grieving father, angry over the death of his son in an alleged drunk driving accident, was arrested at the courthouse Monday after attempting to knock the stupid out of the man accused in the boy’s death.

On June 12, 2011, Juan Gonzalez Jr. was riding his motorcycle when he slammed into a Jeep Cherokee driven by John Powers. Police allege Powers was attempting to make a u-turn from northbound State Road 7 at Orange Drive. Gonzalez, who was traveling south, slammed on his brakes to avoid hitting the Jeep. The motorcycle skidded, slid on its side, and slammed into the Jeep. Gonzalez died from his injuries the next day.

A Davie police officer noticed the smell of alcohol on Powers’ breath, and several empty beer cans were found in his vehicle. He blew a 0.15, which is nearly twice the legal limit.

Powers was ultimately charged with DUI manslaughter and manslaughter with an unlawful blood alcohol level. He pleaded not guilty Monday. The Gonzalez family was in attendance at that hearing.…

Pedro MaldonadoWeston, FL — According to police, 53-year-old Pedro Maldonado Sr. shot and killed his wife and 17-year-old son with a hand held crossbow, then drove over 400 miles to attempt the same thing with his other son.

The rampage apparently started sometime Monday in Weston, where Pedro shot his wife and son. He then loaded up his crossbow and headed north to Florida State University, where his other son, 21-year-old José Maldonado, attended college. After a good night’s rest, Pedro reportedly confronted his son and tried to kill him with the same crossbow he used to kill José’s mother and brother. Luckily, José was able to turn his head just at the right moment and the arrow only hit him in the ear. At that point, police say, the two struggled and José was able to escape his father’s attempts at choking him.

José did not call the authorities after the attack. Some speculate that he may have been more worried about deportation than an injured ear. Pedro was having financial problems, which led the family, who had been in the country legally at one point, to start worrying about their visas that had expired.…

two debil dawgsLAKELAND, FL – A 6-year-old girl had to be airlifted to the hospital after being attacked by two pit bulls so severely, her intestines were exposed.

Alicia Battle was playing in the backyard of her home Thursday afternoon when two pit bulls named “Boss” and “Promise” began attacking her. Michelle Williams, 25, heard the girl screaming and ran out of the house to help, only to have the dogs start biting her.

After biting Williams, the dogs ran on to the porch of the home and began attacking 7-year-old Clamorari Williams. Not quite done, the dogs then attacked 45-year-old Sherri Tanner when she stopped and tried to help. Animal control officers arrived on the scene and were able to corral the dogs without killing them, and have since placed them both in quarantine.

Alicia was airlifted to the hospital suffering from severe injuries to her arm and bites to her stomach that exposed her internal organs. She is currently listed in fair condition. Michelle required 8 to 9 stitches to her right calf, Clamorari suffered injuries to his knee and shin, while Sherri received puncture wounds and lacerations on her right thigh.…

Adele BingWINTER HAVEN, FL — A woman is facing murder charges after police say she accidentally shot and killed her daughter, thinking it was her boyfriend.

According to police, 52-year-old Adele Bing got into an altercation with her boyfriend on Monday. The boyfriend left the home and went to the hospital to treat injuries he says he received after Adele hit him in the head with a gun.

Police responded after being notified by hospital staff, and were interviewing the boyfriend at the hospital when they received a call about a shooting at Adele’s address. When they arrived at the home, they found Adele’s daughter, 22-year-old Ruby Bing, lying dead on the ground in front of her mother’s home.

Turns out that Ruby picked the absolute worst time to pay her mother a surprise visit her 4-month-old daughter. Adele was inside, but said she was afraid the “banging” and “kicking” she heard at the front door was her boyfriend returning to kill her.

Armed with a baseball bat and a .22 caliber handgun, Adele opened the door.…

Kareem GordonOrlando, FL – Police have arrested a 28-year-old man after he allegedly attacked his pregnant sister for eating his chicken nuggets without his permission.

According to reports, Kareem Gordon became furious after he found his 25-year-old sister had eaten his chicken nuggets. After arguing over the nugget faux pas, Gordon followed his sister into her bedroom, yelling “I will punch you down.” He didn’t follow through with that specific threat, but he reportedly grabbed his sister by her neck, pushed her into a nightstand, making her fall to the ground.

Gordon told police he didn’t attack his sister, who is four months pregnant, but was merely trying to have a civil discussion when she slammed the bedroom door in his face. He said she fell after he shoved open the door. Police arrested Gordon anyway, charging him with aggravated battery on a pregnant person. He was booked into the Orange County jail on no bond.

Seems as if Gordon has a history of assaulting women, police saying he has a previous domestic violence incident on record with his wife. …

Thomas YoungmanROCKLEDGE, FL – Police say a 36-year-old man brutally beat his stepmother before stuffing her into the trunk of his car.

There are no details regarding what prompted the beating, but the 57-year-old woman told police Thomas Youngman beat her head and face, slammed her head on the garage floor, stuffed her in the trunk of his car and informed her he was going to kill her.

She said Youngman began to drive off, but stopped to open the trunk and take away her cell phone. He then pulled her out of the trunk by her hair and began beating her again. Somehow she was able to escape and run to a neighbor’s for help as Youngman fled the scene.

The woman was taken to the hospital and Youngman was arrested later after he returned home. He was charged with attempted first-degree murder, aggravated battery with great bodily harm, kidnapping, and resisting a law enforcement official without violence.

This isn’t the first time Youngman has been accused of assaulting his stepmom.…

Jayvon WoolforkHOLLYWOOD, FL – Five teenagers are facing kidnapping and rape charges after a 16-year-old girl was beaten and raped at a supposed friend’s house.

Police say the victim was listening to music and watching TV at her friend’s house when she was approached by a group of teens who told her she had to have sex with 19-year-old Jayvon Woolfork, or get her ass kicked. She chose to get her ass kicked, which she did, but still ended up having to have sex with Woodfork.

The victim said after she refused, she was attacked by the group, including her friend. She was kicked, had her hair pulled, was thrown down stairs, and had the bones around her eyes broken when her face was smashed into concrete.

Afterwards, she said she was dragged into a bedroom where Woodfork raped her while 18-year-old Lanel Singleton and three minors – a 17-year-old male, 15-year-old female and a 14-year-old girl – held her down.

The victim spent several days in the hospital recovering from her injuries, while all five of the accused were eventually arrested and charged with sexual assault and kidnapping.…

Mia McCarthyLAKE WORTH, FL – A self-described sadomasochist is facing some sexual assault charges after she went a little too far with her girlfriend, allegedly beating and choking her while also raping her with a marital aid.

The 53-year-old victim contacted police on October 25 to report that her girlfriend of nine months, 23-year-old Mia McCarthy, had attacked her the day before. A detective met the victim at a sexual assault care center where the victim was sporting bruises, bite marks and scratches on her neck. 

The victim told the detective that she’d gotten into an argument with McCarthy that had turned physical. She said that McCarthy had punched and scratched her before choking her to the point that she saw spots and almost passed out. The victim said that’s around the time McCarthy gave her some helpful advice that I will have to remember for my next Backpage date:

“Breathe or I’ll kill you,” McCarthy reportedly threatened.

She went on to describe an earlier incident that happened back in July.…

Man Accused Of Assaulting Girlfriend With Her Cat

October 29, 2013 at 11:52 am by  

Kenneth StuartDAVIE, FL – A man with a history of battery arrests has been arrested again after allegedly using a cat to attack his girlfriend.

Kenneth Stuart, 41, was fighting with his live-in girlfriend last week when he walked into the bedroom holding her cat over his head, then threw it in her face. The cat ended up scratching the woman on the left side of her face and her eye.

When police arrived, Stuart told them, “Just take me to fucking jail. I’m tired of this.” And take him to jail they did, charging Stuart with battery, tormenting an animal, and resisting an officer without violence.

When he faced Broward Circuit Judge John Hurley to answer to the charges, he told Hurley he’s unemployed and unable to work because of herniated discs in his back. Hurley found that interesting, especially after reading the facts about the case.

“That’s very interesting. I didn’t realize you had such a bad back,” said Hurley. “They say you broke the TV, the computer, the kitchen window, and then during it, you pushed her, knocked the TV and the computer to the ground.”

Hurley ordered Stuart to be held in jail on a $16,000 bond.…

burning crossPALM BAY, FL — We have yet another story of a man accidentally setting himself on fire, but at least this time it didn’t have anything to do with a cigarette. This one involves a man accidentally setting himself on fire while lighting a gasoline soaked cross in his yard for Halloween.

Police say 50-year-old Ron Neilson was putting out some Halloween decorations Tuesday night at his home, including a set-piece that consisted of a small burning cross surrounded by some lit candles. After Neilson had arranged the candles around the gasoline-soaked cross, he attempted to light one of the candles.

Although he didn’t get gas on himself, when Neilson tried lighting the candle the surrounding gas fumes ignited and created a small explosion that set Nielson’s clothes on fire. Neilson immediately began screaming for help as he rolled on the ground in an attempt to put out the flames that witnesses say reached as high as six feet. Lucky for him, his wife and neighbors heard his screams.…

William HappStarke, FL – William Happ was put to death yesterday for the 1986 rape and murder of Angie Crowley, and was the first Florida inmate executed with their new lethal injection mixture.

William Happ has been on Death Row for 27 years, convicted of the rape and murder of 21-year-old Angie Crowley in 1986. Crowley had recently moved to Florida from Illinois, and was making a 300-mile drive to visit a college friend in Yankeetown.

Crowley was prone to getting lost, so she had meticulously planned her route, and was to meet her friend at a convenience store in Crystal River so she could guide her the last few miles to her home. Crowley made it to the store, but before she could use the pay phone to call her friend, Happ smashed her car window.

Happ kidnapped Crowley and took her to a nearby canal where he gave her 10 to 20 severe blows to the head before raping her. Afterwards, he strangled Crowley to death with her yoga pants and then dumped her body in the canal.…