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Autumn GlickCAPE CORAL, FL –  Autumn Glick is facing a felony charges after the 32-year-old allegedly got upset with an elderly customer at Lowe’s and assaulted him in the parking lot.

On March 20th, police were called to the store after a verbal confrontation between two customers turned violent. It reportedly started  after Glick accused an elderly man of cutting in line at the holding area in the store’s garden area.

Glick began verbally assaulted the man and followed him into the parking lot where she jumped into the bed of the man’s pickup truck and began tossing bags of mulch out of the bed he’d just purchased. Witnesses say she also slapped and kicked the man before leaving.

Several witnesses at the scene described the incident to police, and they were provided with clear cellphone video of the assault that helped them identify Glick as their suspect. When officers arrived at her home, she refused to come out and talk to them because she said she knew she would be arrested and she had no one to care for her children until her husband got home from work.…

FIREJacksonville, FL — According to witnesses, a woman torched a man’s car after he refused to buy her a McFlurry early Sunday morning. No word on what flavor the pouty bitch wanted…

“They were going at it,” Sabryna Maré said of the couple who was standing behind her in line. “She was saying she wanted this and wanted that, and she wanted either a McFlurry or an ice cream on top and he was not in for it. Then he was yelling at her saying he’s not going to do it.”

And then, well….

Witnesses claim hearing the identified woman tell the unidentified man that she was going to “blow it up.” She grabbed the keys to the man’s 1994 El Dorado and ran outside. Armed with alcohol and gasoline, though no one really knows where she got it, the woman started pouring. Then, the match… because she apparently didn’t have what it takes to cut the man’s dick off.

Witnesses attempted to help the man put the flames out, but the car was “engulfed” by the time firefighters arrived.…

James Guy BullDaytona Beach, FL — A 61-year-old man has been charged with two counts of animal cruelty after neighbors told police they had seen him sexually assault his 8-month-old puppy multiple times.

When police made contact with the neighbors, they were informed that James Guy Bull had been seen digitally penetrating the pup on more than one occasion, causing the animal to yelp and holler. On another occasion, the witnesses claimed, Bull was seen sitting on a chair on his porch, pants around his ankles, with his junk all up in the dog’s rear end. Again, the dog could be heard whining and crying. When Bull realized he had an audience, he simply put the dog down and pulled up his draws.

No word on why, if they had seen this shit on multiple occasions, they didn’t inform police prior to this.

The dog was found chained to a post on the porch without food, shelter or water. She was skittish and emaciated, police say, and had a very swollen vagina.…

Michael Jason FieldsValrico, FL – Michael Jason Fields has been arrested after police say the 32-year-old beat his girlfriend to death with a cinder block in his backyard.

On March 10, Police received a call that 32-year-old Christina Mahzamani was missing. Her children, ages 13, 9 and 7-years-old, said their mother left home the day before to pick up some eye drops but had never returned.

Earlier that same day, Christina’s car was found abandoned in front of a house with her car keys and personal items inside the car. Friends created a Facebook page in hopes of getting the word out and getting help locating Christina, but that Find Christina Mahzamani page would turn into Justice For Christina a day later.

On March 11, Michael Jason Fields called 9-1-1 to report he’d found Christina dead outside of his house located 1/2 mile from where her car had been found. Police arrived to find Christina’s dead body between Fields’ home and his neighbor’s.

Christina Mahzamani

Christina Mahzamani

When interviewed, Fields told police he last saw Christina on March 9 when she stopped by for a short visit, but that he had not talked to her since.…

Yaquelin Galvez-DonOcala, FL —  A 13-year-old girl and her 15-year-old boyfriend are in police custody after allegedly ambushing the girl’s mother, slitting her throat, in the hopes of living happily ever after. How fucking cute.

According to police, Yaquelin Galvez-Don lured her mom into the garage early Sunday morning, where the boyfriend, Pedro Solis, informed the woman that he wanted to be with her daughter… cause he could, like, take care of her and stuff. He also told her that she should not have hit him with a stick previously. (Methinks she didn’t hit him hard enough. Or often enough. Or with a big enough stick). Solis then reportedly slashed the woman’s throat and ran inside, intent on doing the same to his beloved’s father.

With the knife to his throat, Galvez-Don’s father pleaded with Solis to seek medical assistance for his wife. No word on what was said between the two, but whatever it was, it worked — he was left uninjured and Solis loaded the woman up and dropped her off at an emergency room.…

Galen AuneFort Myers, FL — A 30-year-old man is facing a felony charge of animal cruelty after admitting to officials that he killed his adopted pit bull with a pickaxe to the head because she was looking at him funny.

Authorities first received complaints about Galen Aune back in October of 2013. Neighbors reported seeing the man punching the pit bull puppy. Prior to that, neighbors said, Aune was seen picking the pup up by her ears and tossing her. Authorities apparently filed a report and continued to investigate.

Officers recently made contact with Aune at his home. When questioned about the alleged abuse of the dog, Aune reportedly responded that she was no longer a problem because he killed her.

“I know pit bulls, they are all about body language.” Aune told police. “She just looked at me funny and showed bad energy. I had to do something about it, for my health.”

Soooo, he axed her in the head and buried her in the backyard. Animal services took possession of the carcass.…

Bernard MarsonekTampa, FL — Police were called to the home of Bernard Marsonek earlier this week, after the 57-year-old was apparently seen fucking a pit bull in his yard.

Responding officers were greeted with a crowd of rather disturbed residents outside of Marsonek’s home… residents that reportedly witnessed the coupling. Several witnesses stated they pleaded with Marsonek to stop, but he ignored them.

Officers found Marsonek, a convicted felon, inside his home and interviewed him before obtaining a search warrant for the property.

Inside the home, police found a gun, ammunition, and Marsonek’s harem — eight large pit bulls. No word on whether all of ’em had been violated, or if Marsonek had a favorite.

He was arrested on two counts of a felon in possession of a firearm, animal cruelty and sexual activity involving animals. Animal Services investigators took custody of the dogs. He has since been released on a $17,500 bond.…

Joy McCallOcala, FL – Joy L. McCall was arrested earlier this week after the 35-year-old was charged with having sex with a 12-year-old son of a family friend.

The victim’s mother called the Ocala Police Department to report she believed her son was in a sexual relationship with one of her friends. Her son supposedly told a friend at church about having a sexual  relationship with McCall, and that boy cock-blocked told his mother, who then contacted the victim’s mother to relay what she’d been told.

After learning of the possible relationship, the victim’s mother conducted her own investigation and found some disturbing text messages between McCall and her son that seemed to confirm the two had sex on multiple occasions. “She was able to see through the different text messaging that had occurred between McCall and the juvenile. And determine the dates that the incidents had occurred,’ said Sergeant Angy Scroble.

When police interviewed the boy, he confirmed his mother’s suspicions and told them he’d had sex with “Ms. Joy” on three occasions.…

Maria Montenez-ColonPunta Gorda, FL — Maria Montenez-Colon was arrested Friday, charged with misuse of 911, after pleading with dispatchers to send an officer she found attractive back to her home for some nookie.

Montenez-Colon initially called 911 to complain that she wanted her Corvette back. She apparently signed ownership of the vehicle over to her step-son after her husband died, and she now wanted it back.

When an officer arrived at her home to take the complaint, the reportedly shitfaced 58-year-old started in with her game. It started with a question about the man’s marital status, then quickly moved into the way too much fucking information range.

“I haven’t been penetrated in years,” Montenez-Colon reportedly informed the officer. “I am so horny.”

The officer attempted to get the woman back on track…. a not so awkward track… and asked her what, exactly, he could do for her. Her response? “You could [expletive] me.” God, I do love these stories.

The officer relayed to Montenez-Colon that he wasn’t about to hit that and, once again, tried to get to the gist of her complaint.…

James JugoTampa, FL — A 52-year-old man has been charged with manslaughter after admitting to police that he pummeled his roommate to death after a disagreement about a stolen chicken foot.

According to police, the fight apparently began when 56-year-old Benjamin Calderon swiped said foot from the skillet James Jugo was attending to at the moment. It was apparently then that the beating commenced.

Wait…. people eat chicken feet? I’ve seen them in the meat department and shit, but I didn’t know people actually fried and consumed them. I thought that shit was used for voodoo and stuff. I can’t imagine sticking one of those things in my mouth….

Anyway, Jugo told police he beat Calderon to death with his fists, but a witness claims to have seen him swinging a wooden cutting board. At any rate, Calderon is very much dead — the autopsy revealed he suffered internal bleeding after being hit numerous times on the face, neck and elsewhere.

This, surprisingly, isn’t Jugo’s first brush with the law — he’s been arrested at least 19 times on charges that include burglary, cocaine possession, petty theft, probation violation, open container and possession of a dangerous dog.…

Kenneth HaskinsTampa, FL — When ordered by management to stop masturbating in front of his neighbors, a 58-year-old man apparently attempted to burn an apartment complex to the ground in protest of their supposed Anti-Wanking laws.

Kenneth Haskins, who suffered an unfortunate facial rearrangement after shooting himself in the face with a shotgun, was apparently ordered to stop bopping his bologna in front of his open windows and front door. This displeased Haskins, and he told authorities he thought the overseers of the Mar Plaza Apartments were unjust and he wanted to get back at ’em. Soooo, he set fire to their shit.

Police say the fire was pretty much contained to Haskins apartment, but 28 other units were evacuated as a precaution. Fortunately, Haskin’s temper tantrum didn’t harm anyone in the complex, which caters to low-income seniors and the disabled, but four families have been displaced due to fire and water damage.

Charged with arson, Haskins is being held without bail at the Orient Road Jail. Police say he has no prior convictions.…

Letina SmithKISSIMMEE, FL –  Police have arrested 41-year-old Letina Smith after she was accused of subjecting three children under the age of 10 to a punishment called “the electric chair” that included zaps from a pink stun gun.

The alleged practice came to light after one of the kids got into trouble at school and pleaded with her teacher not to call her home and tell she’d misbehaved in class. The girl explained that she and her two brothers lived with her aunt and she was afraid of being punished with Letina’s electric chair.

“(She) explained that the punishment was to get touched with a ‘taser,'” the arrest report stated. “The electric chair consists of the child who is in trouble holding themselves… with their back on the wall and their legs forming a chair. They have to stay there for an hour and if they speak or move Letina will come up to them with the electrical weapon, “taser,” and activate and touch them with it.”

Police interviewed all three children separately and were given similar stories involving Letina and her pink stun gun.…

Home Invader Dick Slaps Woman, Demands Money

January 29, 2014 at 5:54 am by  

Dick slappedFlorida — A Miami woman claims a burglar repeatedly slapped her in the face with his dick after she informed him she had no money.

That’s it. I have heard it all. Time to shut off the internet. Well, maybe after I finish this story….

The dick slapping incident apparently occurred sometime early Tuesday morning. A man living in the home told police he heard a knock at the door at about 3:00 that morning, and when he answered, was confronted by two males holding guns. Real guns, ya perverts.

Anyway, the two unidentified males entered the home and demanded cash. When the man who answered the door came up dry, the suspects apparently busted into a bedroom occupied by the man’s 33-year-old daughter-in-law.

Authorities say one of the men held a gun to the woman’s head and demanded money. When the woman stated she had none, one of the two whipped out his Johnson and began hitting her in the face with it. And while he’s at it, he’s yelling, “*censored* give me the money.” No word on whether the member was flaccid or at full attention.…

55 Bodies Exhumed From Closed Reform School

January 29, 2014 at 5:22 am by  

Dozier Reform SchoolMARIANNA, FL – Researchers and forensic anthropologists have uncovered the remains of 55 people on the now closed school grounds of the notorious Arthur G. Dozier Reform School for Boys in northwest Florida.

For decades, families of the missing boys have sought answers to long asked questions regarding the mysterious disappearances amid reports of beatings, torture, and sexual assault that occurred at the reform school which operated from 1900 to 2011.

During the nearly two-year project, there have been 55 bodies uncovered; “five more than previous field work had indicated and 24 more than listed in school records.” The aim is to verify the identities and ages as well as the timing and circumstances surrounding their deaths.

Researchers led excavations at or around Boot Hill, which is an unmarked cemetery located on school grounds. Using tools such as ground-penetrating radar, DNA samples, and search dogs, the team investigated the area for unmarked graves that may have belonged to the growing list of boys reported missing over the many years of the school’s operation.…

Sarah McLinnLAWRENCE, KS –  The Kansas teen reported missing shortly before her former boss was found dead in his home, has been found in Florida and charged with the man’s murder.

The body of 52-year-old Harold Sasko was found in his home on January 17 after the family of one of his former employees, 19-year-old Sarah McLinn, called police to report her missing. Sasko owned several CiCi’s pizza places in the area and had let McLinn move into his home in 2012.

Officers who found Sasko say he had suffered several traumatic injuries, and believed he was subdued and unconscious before an “edged device” was used to kill him. McLinn’s car was still in the driveway, but Sasko’s car and dog were misssing.

Police immediately began searching the area for McLinn and issued a nationwide alert to be on the lookout for McLinn and Sasko’s Altima. That searched ended a week later when, 1500 miles away, Rangers found McLinn illegally camping at Everglades National Park. She was living in Sasko’s car and was found with drugs and Sasko’s dog, Oliver.…

Cody MarroneHERNANDO COUNTY, FL – Police have accused  Cody Marrone, a 21-year-old corrections officer, of punishing his girlfriend’s 3-year-old son by repeatedly burning his genitals with a hair dryer.

Meghan Sherron said it was routine for her to leave for work while her longtime, live-in boyfriend would take him to daycare. But last Friday, Marrone called her at work to inform her that her son’s genitals were swollen.

She had Marrone come to her work so she could see what he was talking about and found that her son’s genitals were swollen to the size of a softball. She also noticed burn marks to his thigh, buttocks and chest.

“When I saw the marks on his behind, I thought, that looks like my blow dryer,” she said. When she asked Marrone what the hell happened to her kid’s junk, he went through several different stories including; he woke up and found him that way, he blacked out and doesn’t remember, and that he simply snapped.

The boy was rushed to Tampa General Hospital where doctors would find the boy was suffering from second-degree burns.…

Bryan AdamsOKEECHOBEE, FL — Bryan Adams, 31, is looking at some serious time in jail, along with a re-arranged face, after he abducted his son he believed was possessed by demons.

According to the police report, Adams showed up at his ex-wife’s workplace demanding her car keys. He told her he wanted their 11-year-old son and that he was seeing demons. She denied his request, and later told police she’d left Adams because of his heavy crystal meth usage.

Not taking no for an answer, Adams abducted his 11-year-old son from his bed at around 3 a.m. that morning and dragged him into some nearby woods. Adams told his son, who was clad only in his pajamas and a t-shirt, that he was possessed by a demon. “You are the demon.” Adams informed his son. “You know what I must do with you.”

Before anyone could find out exactly what Adams had in mind, police arrived with a K-9 unit and were able to quickly locate Adams and his son lying on the ground in the woods.…

Man Accused Of Trying To Eat Neighbor’s Face Off

January 23, 2014 at 5:49 am by  

Bath Salt ZombieStPetersburg, FL — No, this is not a repeat….

Authorities claim 18-year-old Brandon Davis, apparently high on some sort of synthetic drug, attacked his neighbor early Sunday morning, biting the man on his face, hands and neck while yelling something about eating the man’s eyeballs.

The victim, 54-year-old Nick Sorace, told police he heard a commotion at about 2:00 a.m. Sunday, and when he looked out the window to see what all the fuss was about, he witnessed Davis beating a dog.

“He thought the dog was the devil,” Sorace said. “And then the next thing he sees is me, illuminated — and all of a sudden, I’m the devil.”

Davis apparently kicked in Sorace’s front door, chased a woman through the house and out the back door, then returned. He started beating and biting Sorace, continuing with his “You’re the Devil” spiel.

“He broke a flower pot over my head, he was sticking me in the neck with pieces…he stuck his thumb all the way in my eye socket and he just ripped my mouth and he bit my face.…