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Kid Tells Grandma To Shut Up – Kid Gets Cut

September 2, 2010 at 8:20 am by  

Apple Valley, MN – Parbati Kalicharan ain’t about to take any lip from some smart-mouthed kid. When her 12-year-old granddaughter supposedly told her to “shut up,” Grandma K came unhinged. The girl was putting a puzzle together on the kitchen table when she got all lippy. This angered grandma, who was in the kitchen, where the knives and other pointy objects are stored. She walked over and grabbed the puzzle box lid, ripped it up and threw it away. The distraught child begged her grandmother to allow her to have the box back, she needed it so she could see the picture and finish the puzzle. Grandma just ripped it up into smaller pieces. She then swiped all the puzzle pieces and threw them in the trash, too. The girl said something like, “I don’t like you,” and crawled under the kitchen table. When she came out from underneath the table, grandma reportedly started chasing her around with a knife. Somehow, the girl ended up with a small gash inside one of her ears.…

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Minneapolis, MN – Investigators are calling it one of the worst cases of child abuse they have ever seen. A 6-year-old boy was viciously beaten because he supposedly misbehaved at school. When interviewed by authorities, the child said “my daddy whooped my butt.” His “daddy” isn’t his daddy at all – he’s mommy’s boyfriend. According to authorities, 37-year-old Troy Lamont Clay tied the child to a pole in the basement and flogged him 60-100 times with an electrical cord. And the child’s mother, 30-year-old Jacquelyn Wander Williams, just sat there and watched. “Mom was right there, she sat down, watched it happen and did not lift a finger to stop it, nor did she lift a hand to give this kid first aid, didn’t bring him to the hospital, didn’t treat him,” said Minneapolis police Lt. Greg Reinhardt, head of the department’s child abuse unit. There was bruising from the child’s neck down to the top of his butt. “When the child was brought to the hospital and they did an exam, the doctor looked at his back and there wasn’t a square inch of the child’s back that didn’t have a mark on it.” He went on to say the beating was barbaric, like something out of the dark ages.…

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Christopher Beal Bites

August 24, 2009 at 2:35 am by  

Cape Girardeau, Missouri is a town of a little over 37,000 stretched along the banks of the muddy Mississippi River. One would think, with the town’s dynamics:  for 100 women there are 86.9 males, men really wouldn’t have to fight for females! I mean seriously…unless there is an abundance of ugly ones out there. And what is with the 86.9 figure? I’ve never quite understood how they arrive at that, until now. I suppose, when someone looses a body part, that’s taken into account? And if that’s so, the ratio should now reflect something like 100 : 86.8  after some poor dude lost his ear lobe due to a little jealousy!…

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Nerds + Moons = Asswhoopin’

October 28, 2008 at 9:37 am by  

Nerds + Moons = Asswhoopin

BELLINGHAM, Wash.On Friday night at Access Comics, owner Lanny Wolf and two friends, Virgil Vanduisen and Jeffrey Chapman, were playing the card game “Magic: The Gathering”. Now some of the details are vague at this point, but from what I can gather, three men who had been drinking nearby, came into the store, and then left after being asked to leave. Once outside, the men dropped their pants and pressed their asses against the storefront window, causing it to break. This aggravated two of the card players more than having your Bösium Strip destroyed and not having a Beacon of Unrest, so they took off after the men, taking a baseball bat with them.…

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