It All Started With A Game Of Strip Yahtzee…

Muncie, IN - Amber Foster, her ex-boyfriend, and a few friends were enjoying a rousing game of Strip Yahtzee (Yahtzee? For real?) last week when Amber found herself in a spot of trouble. I guess the dice just weren’t rolling her way, because Amber ended up butt nekkid. WitnessesWitnesses reviews recall seeing Amber rise from the table and walk into a bedroom with her ex-boyfriend after she lost her clothing. Eventually, Amber’s current boyfriend found out that she had been untrue and confronted her. She cried rape. She told her boyfriend and the authorities that her ex-boyfriend had sexually assaulted her that evening. For five days authorities worked on the case – and I’m sure that during that time span, the ex-boyfriend was sweating and worrying about his future cell mate and the continued integrity of his bung hole. Authorities finally determined that Amber was a big fat liar – the ex-boyfriend was let off the hook and Amber was arrested. The 21-year-old woman now faces a charge of false informing, a misdemeanor that carries a max of 1 year behind bars. Personally, I think she should face the same damn time behind bars her ex-boyfriend would have faced had he been convicted of the crime. That’d teach a bitch not to cheat on her old man and scream rape. And how is it this woman has two living breathing human beings that want to tap that anyway? *shudder* Anyway, what say you, Demonites? Slap her little wrist and write it off as low self-esteem or should she face a harsher penalty? [Read more...]

Louellyn Lambros’ Apple Fell Pretty Close To The Tree

SCITUATE, Mass – A woman brings a 16-year-old boy to the South Shore Hospital emergency room. He is suffering from a gunshot to the leg. Hospital officials contact the Weymouth police and the woman, 55-year-old Louellyn Lambros, tells them that the 16-year-old and her son were at her home when they heard noises in the backyard. When they all went to investigate, an intruder shot the teen in the leg through an open window. Police begin their investigation, and quickly realize that the story was bullshit. The true story, it turns out, just doesn’t get any dumber. It involves a stolen gun, a botched game of Russian Roulette, and a mother as retarded as her son. [Read more...]

Rozita Swinton Doesn’t Like the FLDS

Colorado Springs, CO and EldoradoEldorado reviews, TX – This is not the first time Rozita Swinton has made up a good story and called authorities. But it’s definitely the first time one of Swinton’s calls produced a mass raid on over 400 people. Swinton, 33, is now facing charges related to the April 3 raid on the Yearning For Zion Ranch in Eldorado, Texas, owned and occupied by members of Warren Jeffs’ Fundamentalist Church of Latter-Day Saints. Rozita Swinton may have set the whole raid off by calling a San Angelo crisis center on MarchMarch reviews 29, saying she was a young girl named Sarah who was being abused. [Read more...]