Louellyn Lambros’ Apple Fell Pretty Close To The Tree

SCITUATE, Mass – A woman brings a 16-year-old boy to the South Shore Hospital emergency room. He is suffering from a gunshot to the leg. Hospital officials contact the Weymouth police and the woman, 55-year-old Louellyn Lambros, tells them that the 16-year-old and her son were at her home when they heard noises in the backyard. When they all went to investigate, an intruder shot the teen in the leg through an open window. Police begin their investigation, and quickly realize that the story was bullshit. The true story, it turns out, just doesn’t get any dumber. It involves a stolen gun, a botched game of Russian Roulette, and a mother as retarded as her son. [Read more...]

Rozita Swinton Doesn’t Like the FLDS

Colorado Springs, CO and EldoradoEldorado reviews, TX – This is not the first time Rozita Swinton has made up a good story and called authorities. But it’s definitely the first time one of Swinton’s calls produced a mass raid on over 400 people. Swinton, 33, is now facing charges related to the April 3 raid on the Yearning For Zion Ranch in Eldorado, Texas, owned and occupied by members of Warren Jeffs’ Fundamentalist Church of Latter-Day Saints. Rozita Swinton may have set the whole raid off by calling a San Angelo crisis center on March 29, saying she was a young girl named Sarah who was being abused. [Read more...]