MADEIRA BEACH, Florida – This is a story I am only posting because of one line in the article by Brant James that simply stated, “Then he started throwing sea creatures”. For some reason, this line cracked me up and has made my day. 41-year-old Keith Edward Marriott is facing charges of disorderly intoxication and carrying a concealed weapon because of his bizarre behavior at the beach. Pinellas County sheriff’s deputies said Marriott repeatedly pretended to be drowning and then float to the surface, “causing concern for his safety,” and was “loud and disruptive,” according to a sheriff’s report. Then he started throwing sea creatures. Or more specifically, he started throwing jellyfish at some teenagers. Marriott was being held at Pinellas County Jail in lieu of $250 bail. I love obnoxious drunks. [Read more...]

Green Township, Cincinnati – Here is an idiot for you. At around 9 p.m., 21-year-old Lauren rear-ended David Tewes in a Walgreen’s parking lot. After both got out of their respective vehicles, it was quite apparent that Lauren was shit-faced – her blood alcohol content later determined to be .205. Not wanting to get into any more trouble than she was already in, Lauren did the smart thing and left the scene of the accident. But that was only one of her problems added to her drunken stupidity. The other was the fact that her dumbass got into the vehicle she hit thinking it was hers. Oh, she left her 19-month-old daughter behind in her vehicle as well. She was arrested and charged with child endangering, driving while intoxicated, leaving the scene of an accident, failure to maintain reasonable control of a motor vehicle and a seat belt violation. Videovideo report after the jump.
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Treasure Island, Florida A place where those promoting tourism promise you a “quiet, laid back” atmosphere and the white sand beaches stretched along the Gulf Coast are truly lovely. There’s never a shortage of entertainment as bars and eateries along these resort towns are generally bustling with activities and live bands. One can find about anything they need in communities such as these. TattooTattoo reviews parlors, surf and swimwear, souvenir shops on top of each other. Everything you need but sex toys. Last year in Southern Alabama, owners of these sex-toy stores were throwing a fit because their establishments were being shut down left and right. The store owners were adamant about the the health value of their products and were finding clever ways to justify their existence. As much as I realize customer testimonials are a huge part of promotion and advertisement, somehow I doubt they’ll be looking to Kimberly Calvert and her pink companion. [Read more...]

Palmetto, FL – There are some children in this world that have to overcome some pretty horrendous obstacles to make it to adulthood.  Things like abuse, neglect, poverty, soccer moms with a cell phone attached to one ear, a latte in the other, and a foot on the gas pedal trying to make an early morning pilates class – you know, the usual.  Then there are some that have the odds stacked against them even before they are thrust into this world naked, cold and hungry, some that never have a chance, some like the fetus Guadlia Bravo is carrying in her miserable womb.  Bravo seems to be as fertile as some freshly turned compost, but with the mothering instincts of a lump of dog shit. When her toddler was found wandering in a grocery store parking lot, Bravo, 7 months pregnant, was found tanked, sitting on a curb, getting her drink on.

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Great Falls, MT – Being from the Midwest means I’ve had to build a tolerance to the many jokes regarding the stereotypical redneck. Well, not so much a tolerance to the jokes but rather: the stereotypical redneck! Here, the mullet haircut is still the most requested $10 style in the “salons”. Busch and Bud are the beers of choice because, by God, this is Anheuser-Busch country. And what the hell is the favorite past time, you ask? NASCARNascar 09 reviews. (Nothing goes better with Busch products. Think I’m full of shit? HeadHead reviews to their website. “Site contains fishing, hunting, and NASCAR information”) [Read more...]

Wheeling, West Virginia -  I never have liked clowns. I always found them to be creepy. They wait for you to go to sleep at night, then eat you. I don’t have much use for drunks either, especially behind the wheel. You might call Patricia Ingalls the drunken hit and run clown. [Read more...]

Aaron Saunders and James Brogden

Highway Patrol were chasing a front-end loader SaturdaySaturday reviews morning, a front-end loader that had been stolen from Cherokee County Speedway. The person who stole the vehicle was Aaron Christopher Saunders, 28. Police tried stopping him by shooting out the tires, but Aaron was having none of it. Police say he intentionally tried to run over officers, even running over one of the patrol cars. Aaron drove the front-loader to 973 Pleasant School Road, tearing down trees and signs on the way there. Aaron began destroying a car at that residence when a man house-sitting for his son-in-law, James Ellie Brogden, 67, came out to investigate, Aaron killed him with the front-loader. [Read more...]

Charlotte, NC – You know, some people just don’t like to fly.  Maria Esther Castillo, 45,  is one of those people.  Castillo, who is from New York, got herself arrested on SaturdaySaturday reviews when a United Airlines flight from Puerto Rico to ChicagoChicago reviews had to be diverted to Charlotte to get Castillo off the plane.  I guess that duct tape just wasn’t holding her down tight enough. [Read more...]

BELLINGHAM, Wash. – On Friday night at Access Comics, owner Lanny Wolf and two friends, Virgil Vanduisen and Jeffrey Chapman, were playing the card game “Magic: The Gathering”. Now some of the details are vague at this point, but from what I can gather, three men who had been drinking nearby, came into the store, and then left after being asked to leave. Once outside, the men dropped their pants and pressed their asses against the storefront window, causing it to break. This aggravated two of the card players more than having your Bösium Strip destroyed and not having a Beacon of Unrest, so they took off after the men, taking a baseball bat with them.

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Mountain Home, AR – “You let me outta here, I’m gonna get my gun and shoot at him again, and this time I won’t miss.”    That’s what Michelle Drozdzinksi, 28, said from jail on Monday.   See, Michelle likes her dishes clean and her laundry done.  And her boyfriend, 43-year-old Mark Dohrman, is the noncompliant housework type.   [Read more...]

http://www.myspace.com/macgeezus

Des Moines, IA - His Myspace says he’s “Nefarious”, but really it’s just kind of sad.  Sad and funny, which is why he’s on the front page.  Sean McGuire, 20, who is probably flunking out of Drake University in Des Moines, was arrested at 2:30 a.m. on Mother’s Day… for throwing M&Ms at a police officer.   Hey, that is totally assault, y’all, shuttup. [Read more...]

 

Taunton, MA -  When Suleidy Lugo gets drunk, she doesn’t like to drink alone.   But when her five-month-old baby didn’t want to be her drinking buddy on Easter Sunday, Lugo got pissed.   That day, a drunken Lugo piled antifreeze and a game console on her baby boy, fed him a mixture of grain alcohol and water, grabbed him around the throat and struck his head against the side of his baby carrier, tried to give him an overdose of Children’s Tylenol, and finally kicked the witnesses out of her apartment in a rage.  [Read more...]

INDIANAPOLIS — When the boyfriend of Latasha McMorris, 24, walked into room 104 of the EconoLodge Motel around 12:30 am, he found her passed out from drugs, alcohol or both. Unfortunatly for this beauty, instead of lying on top of a pool of vomit she had choked to death on, she just happened to be laying on top of her 2-year-old son, Sheldon Bartley Jr..

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Steve Warrichaiet was drunk as he left his friends house in his 1995 Dodge Intrepid late SundaySunday reviews. On his way home, he struck two pedestrians, leaving Joann Carroll, 41, critically injured on the side of the road, and Tyrone Ware, 50, in his windshield. Warrichaiet continued his 7 block drive home and parked his car in his ggarage where he called his sister a few minutes after midnight.

“Now I really did it. I killed somebody. I put the body in the car”

She didn’t believe him and was not able to call him back after he hung up as he had taken the phone off the hook. Warrichaiet then called police around 5:40 a.m. Police are not sure what happened in the 5 hour gap between him arriving home and finally notifying authorities. Ware was pronounced dead once police arrived at his house.

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