Several women reportedly complained to police that a man in a silver vehicle was exposing himself on campus between the 16th and 22nd of February.
After an extensive investigation involving both campus security and local law enforcement, a potential suspect was identified. That suspect, 28-year-old Jacob Bovia, was arrested Friday after he was seen acting all suspicious-like while seated in his silver Honda Accord.
One thing led to another, and police soon discovered Bovia was in possession of fake genitalia. When questioned, Bovia reportedly admitted to “exposing” the fake junk while, presumably, keeping the real junk in his draws. And that, my friends, resulted in three counts of indecent exposure and two counts of disorderly conduct.…Continue Reading
Surveillance video of the bizarre incident shows 32-year-old Verdon Lamont Taylor exiting his vehicle in the store parking lot and stripping down to his birthday suit. He is then seen walking into the store all nekkid-like and approaching the customer service counter. It was there, police say, that Taylor found the socks in question, slipped them onto his feet and continued on his way through the aisles.
Police quickly arrived on scene, and after making contact with Taylor, were forced to subdue him with a stun gun. Once they had him strapped to a gurney, Taylor allegedly spat on the face of one of the officers.
Taylor has since been arraigned on charges of indecent exposure, aggravated assault, simple assault, retail theft, receiving stolen property and disorderly conduct, and ordered held on $50,000 cash bail.
No word on whether mental illness, drugs or alcohol were involved.…Continue Reading
According to Lee deputies, 28-year-old Alicia Martin, left, and her pal Kathryn Rayannic, 24, had run out of cash while getting plastered at The Waterfront restaurant Wednesday, and were offering to bare their boobies for beer money.
“We had five guys that were like, ‘Please, leave us alone,’” said waiter Shaun Bassett. “They actually went up to tables who had their wives there.”
Sadly, the two women had no takers at all.
“Basically when they were turned down, they kind of got a little rowdy,” Bassett said.
After receiving numerous complaints about their bawdy behavior, restaurant staff attempted to remove the pathetic souses from the premises. It was then that Martin allegedly responded by shoving a female employee into a wall. The alleged assault continued after the party exited the building, with Martin punching the same female employee in the back of the head.…Continue Reading
Erik Cain, 30, apparently got all kinds of slashy with his brother Wednesday evening after learning said brownie had been cut in half. Angered at the sight of the mutilated confection, Cain reportedly armed himself with three steak knives and went to work on his sibling, slashing the man on his forearm, wrist and shoulder.
The slashee, Gene Cain, told police he feared his brother was going to kill him, so he threw a television set at him in retaliation.
Cain was later arrested on charges of aggravated assault, simple assault, reckless endangerment, harassment and disorderly conduct. Interestingly enough, police say Cain was out on bail on charges he had slashed his girlfriend last month.
Since I can’t seem to find any information on the victim’s condition, I have to assume the wounds were somewhat superficial. If anything, the man learned a very important lesson – never lay a finger on an unstable slasher’s chocolate.…Continue Reading
LA CROSSE, Wis. – A 22-year-old Viterbo University student is looking at some possible sexual assault charges after he smacked a female police officer’s ass and told her “good job.”
Andrew Kiel was at the Brothers Bar on Pearl Street early Sunday morning when he allegedly walked up to the female officer and slapped her ass while offering a critique of her job performance.
When he tried to the same thing to a male officer, that officer grabbed Kiel’s arm, handcuffed him and then booked him into the La Crosse County Jail on charges of fourth-degree sexual assault and disorderly conduct.
This reminds me of something that happened to me when I was a kid. We had a clubhouse in my backyard that hosted the fearsome neighborhood gang called the Black Widows, named after the gang in EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE.
We decided that while we were extremely cool and a force to be reckoned with, we definitely needed some chicks hanging around to make us even cooler. So we talked some of the neighborhood girls to come over and check out our digs.…Continue Reading
Chicago, IL — Edward Brown, 34, was busted last Thursday after reportedly exposing himself to a theater filled with parents and children watching “Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked.”
According to witnesses, about 30 minutes into the 4:00 p.m. showing, a butt nekkid Brown rose from his seat in the front row, faced the crowd of about 86 Chipmunk fans, stretched out his hands and displayed his package before returning to his seat.
A couple of police officers just happened to be patrolling nearby and Brown was taken into custody within minutes.
When questioned, Brown reportedly told officers that he had been allowed inside the movie theater for free by an unknown female who told him to take a seat in the front row, take off his clothes and wait for her, and they would have sex, smoke crack and do heroin. Great. Unknown bitch went and stole my line….
Brown is being held in the Cook County Jail in lieu of $100,000 bail, charged with three felony counts of sexual exploitation of children, aged 4, 6 and 6, one misdemeanor count of sexual exploitation of a minor aged 14, and one misdemeanor count of disorderly conduct.…Continue Reading
Grand Chute, WI — An unidentified Cheesehead was taken into custody Sunday after police say the inebriated woman grew angry and attacked her 11-year-old daughter because the Packers lost their first game of the season. To the *snortgiggle* Chiefs.
About five hours after the devastating loss, police were called to the Extended Stay Hotel where the woman was presumably staying with her husband and child. After making contact with the family, police learned the woman had been downing beer and vodka throughout the game.
According to the criminal complaint, the girl reportedly stepped forward and told police that while the Packers were losing, her mother grabbed her hair and choked her. The girl went on to say that after the Packers lost, her mother choked her again with enough force that she couldn’t breathe, asking her, “Do you want to die?” Red marks and scratches were apparently visible on the child’s neck.
The woman’s husband told police the woman also threw her dinner on the floor, broke a lamp and attempted to punch him in the face because she was upset about the game.…Continue Reading
Greenwich Village, NY — Back in October, Jaded posted a story about Rayon McIntosh, the 31-year-old McDonald’s cashier caught on video beating two female customers after they jumped the counter and attacked him. Yesterday, a grand jury dismissed all charges against him.
The incident happened one morning when Rachel Edwards and Denise Darbeau, both 24, tried to pay for their food with a $50 bill. The pair became irate when McIntosh told the women he needed to scan their bill for authenticity before he could give them their food. During the argument that followed, Darbeau leans over the counter and slaps McIntosh across the face.
The two women then make their way behind the counter to continue their confrontation with McIntosh, but he introduces the women to his little friend — a metal rod. McIntosh starts swinging for the fences and both women go down faster than your teen daughter on her date to the prom. By time it’s over both women are writhing on the greasy floor, one with a fractured skull, wondering what year it is.…Continue Reading
The incident began at around 3PM last Thursday, when the woman — who, at that time, was fully clothed — walked into Dragon China restaurant and demanded free food after finding the word “free” on the take-out menu.
“She asked the cashier, ‘Everything is for free?’ ” said the restaurant’s owner, Dajo Zhao. When told “no,” Zhou said that the woman then slammed her fingers down on the menu, while screaming, “Free! Free! Free! Free!”
Another customer reportedly told her that she was crazy. In an obvious bid to prove that person wrong, the disgruntled customer started throwing ‘everything she could get her hands on’ and ‘screaming with rage.’ She reportedly moved to the back of the restaurant, where she ‘pushed over equipment, threw food, and punched a chef.’
“I walked in and I saw an old lady trashing the place,” said Noreen Monier, who owns a nearby store.…Continue Reading
Pittsfield, MA — Charlie Price, a Level III sex offender, pleaded guilty to a single count of disturbing the peace earlier this week after he was accused of groping and licking a cardboard cutout on display at a Rite-Aid pharmacy over the weekend.
According to the police report, an allegedly intoxicated Price entered the store at about 5:00 Saturday evening, “grabbed hold of the sunglass display, hugged it tightly and then began to lick and kiss the face of the female party on the display.”
The alleged tonguing apparently lasted for about a minute and promptly ended when Price fell to the floor.
Police say that when Price was back on his feet, he began yelling and screaming. My guess…papercut. Anywho, Price’s bizarre behavior apparently scared a few customers in the store, who police said were “actively” trying to make themselves scarce. They should have been “actively” hitting the record buttons on their cellphones.
In 1991, Price was convicted of indecent assault and battery on a child under 14. Last year, he was convicted of open and gross lewdness and lascivious behavior.…Continue Reading
Greenwich Village, NY — We’ve seen our fair share of McDonald’s beat-downs here at the Dreamin’ Demon, but this one has a bit of a twist to it. In this particular case, a male employee is accused of assaulting two female customers with some sort of metal rod after they verbally and physically assaulted him.
It all started at about 12:30 Thursday morning. The two women were fixin’ to pay for their order with a $50 bill. The male employee in question, 31-year-old Rayon McIntosh, told the women he needed to scan their bill for authenticity before giving them their food. This apparently displeased them. The women, identified as Denise Darbeau and Rachel Edwards, both 24, can be heard swearing at McIntosh, saying, “Do something about it, pussy.” And as is evident in the attached video, Darbeau leans over the counter and slaps McIntosh across the face. McIntosh then retreats into the back of the restaurant.
At that point, Darbeau vaults over the counter while her buddy walks around the side to confront McIntosh.…Continue Reading
APPLETON, Wis.— Last year, 23-year-old Mariah Pyatskowit became a minor Youtube celebrity after she was caught on cell phone video inside a Mernards losing her marbles.
It was during Black Friday and Pyatskowit decided she was not going to the back of the enormously long checkout line and decided to cut in the line near the front with a cart full of merchandise.
As you can imagine, this did not sit well with the people who had been waiting in the line for hours and they called her out on it.
After some verbal sparring, store employees were called over to handle the situation, and that’s when Pyatskowit throws an embarrassing tantrum and worked her crazy-ass into my black heart.
As you can see in the following video, Pyatskowit pushes all of her items off the cart she had them on, then begins screaming at everyone while being restrained.
“Are you happy now, are you happy now!?” screams a restrained Pyatskowit. My erection indicates the answer to that question is a definite “yes.”
For her outburst, Pyatskowit was convicted of disorderly conduct Monday, sentenced to a year’s probation and ordered to perform 40 hours of community service. …Continue Reading
Several witnesses reportedly witnessed the beating, which, according to Price, was dealt because the child had taken a pack of gum from a nearby gas station.
When police arrived, the kid was in tears and 28-year-old Price was livid. She was screaming at the child, and though she was continually asked to lower her voice, she kept on ranting and raving at the responding officers.
Price admitted to hitting the child with the belt, and when an officer suggested that the bus stop may not be the best location to discipline her child, she reportedly poked the kid in the forehead and said, “Fine, I’ll beat you when we get home.”
Instead of ripping that belt out of her hand and giving her a taste of her own damn medicine, the officer kept trying to calm the woman.…Continue Reading
Lufkin, TX -- Almost immediately after being released following an arrest for public intoxication and disorderly conduct, a Texas man was arrested again for threatening the deputy that confiscated his drugs.
A little after noon on Monday, August 31st, police received reports of a man sitting on the side of the road and decided to do a welfare check. When they found him, 48 year-old Douglas Paul McCoy did what any sane, stable individual would do in his situation: he got completely naked.
Police have dealt with McCoy in the past for stalking his ex-wife and say he’s ”…very anti-social, anti-government, anti-law enforcement.” McCoy allegedly began swearing at officers and threatening to take away their guns and tazers. I get super powers when I’m naked, too.
“It’s a little awkward just because when he’s naked you don’t have anything to grab hold of,” said Lt. Bryan Holley. Sure you do, you’re just a little shy, it’s okay.
McCoy, believed to be high on the drug K-2, was arrested and charged with public intoxication and disorderly conduct.…Continue Reading
Orangeburg, SC — Police responded to an Orangeburg County home Saturday afternoon after a homeowner called to report that a naked stranger had attempted to break into his home – that same stranger reportedly hinted that he would maybe like to have sex with the homeowner’s wife.
The homeowner told deputies the unidentified nekkid man appeared at his back door at about 2:00 that afternoon, and with the aid of a stick, attempted to gain entry through the man’s back door.
At that point, the nekkid stranger reportedly pointed at the woman of the house and “started moving in a hunching motion.” Hunching. Heh.
The nekkid man then “crudely” informed the homeowner that he wanted to have sex with the woman, armed himself a bigger stick and threatened to “ram the door.”
While deputies were speaking with the homeowner, the still unidentified nekkid man approached from behind the house – after a bit of a struggle, the man was handcuffed and transported to the hospital for an examination.
Police believe the 33-year-old man may have been under the influence of drugs.…Continue Reading
New Branford, CT — Candace Kiley was taken into custody early this week in connection with an alleged assault that took place at a birthday party on the 23rd of last month. Little Miss Insecure is accused of man-handling a 12-year-old girl she believed was checking out her man.
According to police, it all started when Kiley’s 30-year-old boyfriend spilled a drink in the kitchen. The pre-teen, a friend of Kiley’s younger sister, was in the kitchen to grab some ice when she happened to glance at the older man as he was mopping up. It was then, police say, that Kiley accused the kid of looking at her boyfriend, saying that she had “been looking at him all day.” Kiley then reportedly grabbed a handful of the girl’s hair and threw her to the floor.
The kid sustained a head injury when her head bounced off the floor, and then suffered an asthma attack. Police say family members heard the commotion and put a stop to the assault.…Continue Reading
An employee at Mama K’s restaurant told police he served Plemons a beer but, after conversing with the suspect, decided that Plemons was intoxicated and refused to serve him a second.
When he was informed that he would not be served, Plemons reportedly began yelling and causing a disturbance – because causing a loud disturbance is an excellent way to get served alcohol. Oddly, he was escorted out of the restaurant.
In an obvious effort to further demonstrate to the waiter that he was, in fact, sober and clear thinking, Plemons next positioned himself in plain view of the glass window at the front of the restaurant, and proceeded to wag his exposed johnson towards the patrons inside, said Gurnee Police Commander Jay Patrick. Those aren’t Patrick’s exact words. ..but they are pretty close.
Plemons self-imposed field sobriety test was not only witnessed by the patrons inside the restaurant – he happened to be standing next to a car of a woman loading her children to leave when he exposed himself, Patrick said.…Continue Reading
Columbus, Ohio — Police were called to the home of Ohio State Senator Kris Jordan on July 11 after his wife, Melissa, dialed 911. The first call was a hangup. The 911 dispatcher then called back. The 11-minute call appeared to be a mixture of the wife describing the situation and wanting to cancel the call.
When the dispatcher first called back, she said, “Just, please, get somebody here. My husband. Please.” “This is the first time I’ve called,” she added. “He’s done this a lot. I can’t put up with this anymore.
Mrs. Jordan went on to explain, “He’s had some drinks. He was pushing me around, throwing stuff.”
During the call, Mrs. Jordan told the dispatcher that there were guns in the home.
“He’s mad; he’s got the gun,” she whispered. “I don’t want anybody here.” “He took it out of his pocket and laid it down in the other room,” Melissa Jordan went on to say. “It’s not on him right now.”
During the call, Mrs.…Continue Reading
The neighbors of 27-year old Mindy Stephens called 911 after she was reportedly wandering the streets, trashed, banging on people’s doors and windows. She was yelling about some keys being stolen while saying her kids were better off without her.
When police arrived, they would find two 7-year-olds in her home as well as a 4-year-old girl who had seen better days. She was rushed to the hospital after being found laying unresponsive on a mattress in front of a fan. She was drenched in sweat and had a temperature of 103. (*tries not to get earwormed by Hot Blooded and fails miserably*)
They would also find the girl’s urine on the floor next to the mattress and her vomit on a nearby couch. These bodily fluids just added to Stephen’s home decor efforts that included dog shit laying around and smeared into the carpet that was already littered with bugs, piles of clothes and cigarette butts.…Continue Reading
South Windsor, CT – Heath Cain, a convicted felon, is back behind bars after police say he entered a woman’s home through an unlocked door Wednesday evening, stood over her bed as she slept and asked to use the restroom when she awoke to find his creepy ass staring at her.
“He said to me, ‘I’m not going to hurt you lady, I just want to use your bathroom,’” said homeowner Pamela Bowen. “I just prayed that I would be OK.”
Fully awake after the bizarre request, Bowen said she followed Cain through her home and into the kitchen, where he stopped to admire the pictures on her fridge before opening the door and helping himself to a nice, cool beverage.
Bowen told police Cain didn’t appear to be to be drunk or under the influence of drugs. Some of the things he said were incoherent, she said, and other times he seemed lucid.
She said she repeatedly asked him to leave the home, but was met with responses like, “Hey, I’d like to buy this house,” and “I used to live here with another family,” and “Someone dropped me off here,” and “Hey, I can’t find my car.” Not his exact words, mind you, but close enough.…Continue Reading