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aliceDallas, TX — An 11-year-old girl is in police custody after allegedly stabbing her mother in the head, neck and shoulder several times.

According to investigators, the girl was dropped off at home Friday and was apparently unhappy about it. The girl reportedly told police her mother, Toshia Edmonson, said something about “giving her away” and shoved her down on a couch.

Like something ripped from one of my own nightmares, the spawn waited until her mother fell asleep and armed herself with a kitchen knife. She then crept into her mother’s bedroom and got to stabbing, police said. Nine friggin’ times. This kid was more than just a little unhappy, methinks.

The commotion apparently woke the girl’s younger brother, who later told police he heard his mother screaming for the girl to stop it, and saw the both of them covered in blood.

Edmonson was apparently able to get her hands on the knife and fell on top of the child to stop the attack.

The girl reportedly told police she stabbed her mother because she was “so, so angry and frustrated with her.” She’s now cooling her little heels in the Henry Wade Juvenile Center.…

Diamond LydiaDallas, TX — A family argument over a Big Peach soda apparently got so heated last week, one family member retaliated by throwing chicken. No word on whether it was fried, baked or broiled.

Diamond Lydia, 18, is facing charges after reportedly assaulting a female in the residence with a box of chicken, a pillow and his fists.

According to police, soon after the argument over the soda began, the 24-year-old victim went to her room. Diamond apparently followed and threw the box of chicken at her.

One witness told police Diamond started hitting the woman on the head with a pillow, and then climbed on top of her and started in with the punching. At that point, the victim grabbed a glass jar from her dresser and hit him on the head.

The witness apparently tried to break up the fight, and told Diamond to go downstairs. But as Diamond left the room, the witness said, he grabbed a tire iron and yelled, “I’m going to kill you!”

Diamond attempted to hit the woman with the tire iron, but the witness was able to step in and keep her from getting injured.…

Dallas, TX — The cheery lookin’ chickie to the left is 35-year-old Yakia Lashonta Mays – she was arrested earlier this month after allegedly threatening to cut her mother because the woman had the audacity to complain about a used tampon left on a bathroom counter.

Police were called to the home Yakia shares with her mother, 52-year-old Sandra Mays, on October 9, and learned the pair were involved in a verbal altercation after Sandra confronted her nasty ass daughter about a bloody gash plug left sitting on the counter top. *gag*

As the argument grew more heated, Yakia reportedly armed herself with a kitchen knife and threatened to get all kinds of stabby.

According to the police report, Yakia “charged” after her mother with the knife, screaming, “I’m gonna kill you, bitch!” Fearing for her life, the elder Mays quickly retreated to her bedroom, locking the door behind her. And you just know her batshit crazy spawn was right on her heels…

Yakia apparently attempted to break the door down, declaring, “Bitch, I’m gonna stab you in the middle of your fucking forehead.” Heh.…

Dallas, TX — If you are the man who robbed a Texas convenience store wearing floral print mini-dress with a pair of panties on your head, Dallas police would like to speak with you.

In what could be described as a crime against both civilized society and fashion, a man entered an Exxon Tigermart [rawr!] convenience store early Tuesday morning wearing a black-and-white flower pattern dress and ankle-high white boots.  It is clear from the video that this is a “man” on a mission.

With his face covered by an oversized pair of women’s panties, the suspect was videotaped pointing a concealed gun at the cashier.  Presumably stunned by laughter, the clerk hands over an undisclosed amount of cash.  The suspect then turns to a nearby customer and robs him as well.

It was reported that the Tigermart clerk believes the robber removed his own underwear for the heist because – when the suspect raised his hand during the robbery – he also raised his dress.

“It was apparent he was not wearing any underwear,” the clerk said.…

Father Allegedly Ditched Injured Kids After Crash

November 15, 2010 at 7:11 am by  

Dallas, TX — Have you seen this douche? If so, police would like to have a word with ya. Authorities say that after 34-year-old Miguel Torres Sr. wrecked his Ford Expedition late Thursday night, he just up and took off, leaving three of his four children behind. Torres reportedly slammed into a light pole and lost control of the vehicle, sending it spinning. His 5-year-old daughter, Mia, was thrown from the SUV, car seat and all, and landed in the middle of the street. Torres kept driving. He stopped at a park about a mile away, took his 11-month-old daughter Emma from the vehicle and beat feet – leaving his 6- and 9-year-old sons inside the SUV. The 9-year-old, who was not injured, was able to flag down help for his brother Thomas, who suffered a serious gash to the head. “They said [Miguel Jr.] was screaming for his dad and his dad just kept going,” said the children’s aunt, Olgalivia Salazar. Meanwhile, Torres had stopped off at his mother-in-law’s house and deposited a bloodied Emma into her arms before being picked up by an unknown person.…

Dallas, OR – Andrew Jondle set out on his scooter Monday evening with murder on his mind – the 20-year-old was fixin’ to kill his parents, 61-year-old David Jondle, and 58-year-old Marilyn Jondle. When David opened the garage door to greet his son that night, Andrew repeatedly bashed him in the head with a metal pipe before stabbing him a few times with a scythe. Andrew’s mother heard the commotion in the garage and popped her head out to investigate. She, too, was beaten with a pipe. Their bodies were found the next morning by a delivery man. “I just couldn’t imagine Andrew doing something like this,” said Nate Rafn, a family friend. “In the limited times I saw him he wasn’t violent at all – he didn’t seem to be angry or troubled in any way. He just seemed to be a normal kid.” Neither drugs nor alcohol was involved in the killings, just pure rage. Why so much rage from a normally pleasant person? Police believe it may stem from the fact that the Jondles didn’t approve of the relationship between their youngest child and his much older girlfriend.…

Mom, 19, Accused Of Biting Infant

August 30, 2010 at 1:31 am by  

Dallas, TX – Danielle Lewis, 19, took her 5-week-old infant to Children’s Medical Center Dallas at 9:00 p.m. on August 17 to have him treated for numerous injuries. At 3:00 a.m. on August 18, Lewis walked out of the hospital without the infant boy – she said she no longer wanted him. It’s probably because the kid tasted bad or something. The infant was found to be suffering from several human bite marks to both shoulders, his upper and middle back, left buttocks and left thigh. On top of that, he had contusions and severe bruising to his back and buttocks area and abrasions on his genitals. Seems Lewis had a rather fussy baby on her hands, and like many other dolts who have graced the pages of the Dreamin’ Demon, she attempted to soothe and quiet the child by causing physical pain. The baby boy, believed to be Lewis’ only child, has been placed in state custody and continues to recover from his injuries. Lewis has been caged and charged with felony injury to a child.…

Dallas, TX – Jessie Vasquez reportedly sauntered in to Dallas Fire Station #752 Sunday morning and matter-of-factly told one of the firefighters, “I just put poison in my mother’s coffee.” Instead of instantly pummeling him for such a cruel and atrocious act, the police were summoned and paramedics were dispatched to the woman’s home. The woman told officers she had already finished off a cup o’ joe that morning, and at that point, was feeling no ill effects. Officers examined a can of coffee in the home and detected a white powder inside the container and noticed the coffee had a slight chemical smell. Under the kitchen cabinet, they found a container of Comet cleanser that had the same chemical aroma as the coffee grounds. Vasquez, 43, was booked on charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and family violence – he also had a few outstanding warrants. He did not explain the motive behind his actions. His 61-year-old mother was later admitted to the hospital for observation after she began to feel sick.…

Dallas, TX – The 911 call went a little like this: “I kill my both kids. They are died.” Saiqa Akhter went on to tell the dispatcher that she tried to get the kids to drink bathroom cleaner, but they wouldn’t swallow – so she twisted a wire around their necks until “they are no more.” When the dispatcher asked her why she did it, Saiqa replied, “Both are autistic. I don’t want my kids to be like that. I want normal kids. I don’t want my kids to be autistic. I kill both of them.” When asked by the 911 dispatcher what she was feeling, Saiqa replied, “nothing.” Paramedics arrived at the home Monday evening to find both children, Zain, 5, and Faryaal, 2, blue and unconscious in a bedroom. Zain was pronounced dead at the hospital and Faryaal was taken off life support on Tuesday. Saiqa, 30, now faces capital murder charges. Family members had mentioned that Zain had autism, but there were no reports that Faryaal had it.…

Dwayne Moten Didn’t Think Shit Through

July 15, 2010 at 8:18 am by  

Dallas, TX – One of our awesome fans sent this little tidbit our way via email. Dwayne Moten, 20, wasn’t pleased that his ex-girlfriend, slash baby momma, was hooked up with someone new and he wanted custody of his 3-year-old son, Dwayne Jr., so he came up with a brilliant plan. He would hire a friend to shoot him a little bit and would place the blame on the baby momma’s new boyfriend! He’d spend a couple hours in the ER, baby momma’s boyfriend would go to jail, and he’d have his kid. Splendid! What could possibly go wrong? Moten and his chosen friend, 20-year-old Jacob Wheeler, put the plan into motion Saturday afternoon. Wheeler played his part, but what was supposed to be a mere flesh wound turned into a fatal shot. “He was actually planning on shooting him in the thigh and shoulder,” Dallas police homicide Sgt. Bruce McDonald said. “I don’t know if [Moten] flinched and turned sideways a little more. The bullet entered the chest cavity and was fatal.” Oopsie!!…

Where Is Lisa Stone? Dallas Woman Vanishes

July 8, 2010 at 12:13 pm by  

DALLAS — We got an email today from a longtime member who has a friend who has went missing. They have asked us to help get her story and picture out there which we are more than happy to oblige. Lisa Stone has not been heard from or seen since June 4th. Her purse and pets left at the home she has shared with her partner for 15 years. Stone, 51, is socially active and kept regular contact with her friends either by phone or online. Even more ominous is the fact that some of Stone’s personal belongings, things like photographs and her birth certificate, were found in a dumpster near her home. Her partner has refused to talk to the press and surprisingly, wasn’t the one who filed the missing person report – her friends did that. Dallas detectives are now looking into the case and as I type this while reading the Facebook page set up for her, the partner has been taken into custody. You can offer support or keep tabs on any new information (like the partner’s name) by visiting the Facebook Page Looking for Lisa Stone… help us find her!

Dallas, TX- Not that I care much for movie remakes, but I believe if anyone ever decided to do a remake of one of my favorite films, Porky’s, 30-year old Robin Regina Roberts could easily play the role of Beulah Balbricker. Not only does Roberts bear an uncanny resemblance to the actress who originally played Ms. Balbricker, Nancy Parsons, but she also has the ball-busting moves to boot. On the afternoon of May 24, a Home Depot store security guard tried to detain Roberts outside of the store after she allegedly stole more than $600 worth of hardware from the business. Roberts pushed the security guard away and the two began to struggle. Roberts then grabbed the security guard’s genitals and twisted, causing pain. I believe that last sentence may have just made every man reading this cross his legs and wince involuntarily. Let’s be gracious and give them a minute to recover, shall we? (I really can’t wait for the new season of True Blood to start this Sunday!

Carla Westbrook-Spaniel Was Thirsty

May 10, 2010 at 6:56 am by  

Dallas, TX – J.P. Elder Middle School principal, Carla Westbrook-Spaniel, spent the weekend behind bars after she allegedly left her two children, ages 3 and 4, alone in a room at the Adolphus Hotel while she slipped out for a drink. Carla brought attention to herself at the Mantus Night Club when, after being denied entrance into the club because she didn’t meet the dress code, she tried pushing her way past the bouncer and punched him in the stomach. When the police arrived on scene, Carla started acting all feisty and began ‘rasslin with the officers when they attempted to arrest her. Officers reported she had the odor of alcohol on her breath, appeared to be intoxicated and, while she was flailing around on the ground, she began scratching at her own face. During the course of the arrest, officers learned her children had been left alone. Both children were naked and sound asleep when officers arrived. When officers woke the children, they complained of being hungry. It is unclear how long they had been left unattended.…

Dallas, TX- Daniel Wayne Stanley is one seriously disturbed individual. Around 3:30 in the morning on April 30, the 18-year old approached two officers and said he took the foot of a “Jew girl.” Stanley then opened his backpack and showed the officers a decomposed foot inside that still had some flesh attached. A hatchet was also inside the bag. Stanley then led the officers to a nearby cemetery where the officers found a freshly-dug grave. Stanley was arrested for theft from a human corpse or grave with his bail set at $10,000. The severed limb was given to the Dallas County medical examiner. Sgt. Bruce McDonald, a homicide unit supervisor, said Stanley is infatuated with death and decided to do it. McDonald said Stanley has some very serious issues and possibly mental problems. (No shit, Sherlock!) McDonald said he also believed that Stanley knew what he was doing was wrong. Stanley’s mother said her son has been in and out of mental institutions and suffers from a laundry list of illnesses, including schizophrenia.…

Dallas, Texas – Okay, so minors aren’t allowed in strip clubs. But is the proper place for them locked in an illegally parked vehicle outside the strip club? Apparently, dad of the year, Michael Galloway thinks so. 36-year-old Galloway wanted to hang out at the titty bar for a while and didn’t want to expose his children to it, so he allegedly left his 9 month old and 3 year old in the car. The car was parked illegally and a tow truck was preparing to tow it away when the driver saw the 3 year old waving to him from the back seat of the car. The doors were locked and the windows were up. Galloway claimed to have been in the bar for only 20 minutes (like that makes it okay). Witnesses at the bar, however, had seen him drinking for more than an hour and a half. Then Galloway claimed to be there checking on his wife who supposedly worked there. Nope – she’s at home waiting for her kids and husband to get home.…

Dallas, TX – At the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve, Kerri Lyn Smith’s boyfriend leaned in for a kiss. Little did the poor fucker know, he, at some point, did something to piss her the hell off. What he did/said/thought is unknown. And when he committed the atrocious offense, whether it be real or Kerri’s imagination, is also unknown. She showed him her displeasure by biting his lip off and spitting it out. She bit his bottom lip right the hell off his face. He was able to push her crazy ass away and summon help via 911. (Would you consider me twisted if I told you that I would love to hear the actual 911 recording? I’m running it through my head right now, and yes, it sounds kinda funny). Police say they aren’t sure why Smith was so pissed, but when they arrived at the home, they found the boyfriend’s lip laying on the floor. I don’t know, but I’m thinking alcohol may have played a role in the whole bloody incident.…

Martin Guerrero Doodled His Noodle In Art Class

December 22, 2009 at 9:47 am by  

Dallas, TX Since I’m on a bizarro roll this morning, I’m gonna throw Martin Guerrero into the mix. According to police documents, Guerrero, 17, was sitting in art class, kinda zoning out and staring off into space. His female teacher approached his desk to check up his progress on an assignment and attempted to get his attention. For whatever reason, Guerrero pulled up his shirt and exposed his junk. In front of the teacher, and a room full of students between the ages of 14 and 17, Guerrero started strokin’ the bologna pony – diligently – while moaning. He even threw in an “aye mami” for good measure. The teacher, unable to stop him from fappin’, ran out of the classroom and alerted the school police. She told investigators that several students later told her “that was very scary.” Because of the ages of his fellow classmates, Guerrero is now looking at a felony charge of indecency with a child. Bail has been set at $5,000. Good luck living this down, kiddo.…

Dallas Police Link Crimes Against Women

October 15, 2009 at 9:08 am by  

Dallas, Texas – Women in the Turtle Creek and Oak Lawn area are being told to keep your eyes peeled for any suspicious behavior as a very brazen robber has now been linked to five attacks on females. Their concern is that the guy is getting bolder with every consecutive attack. Police say that the man cases parking lots surprising his targets as they are distracted. Using a gun, he makes the victim take him to ATM’s. In two cases, he has broken into the victims’ homes. An accomplice held one victim at the home while he took the other to an ATM. He made one victim strip naked and get in her closet as he went through her apartment, stealing small electronics and jewelry. So ladies, keep your eyes peeled. It is very important that while you are carrying that bag of shoes while talking on the cell phone about Alicia’s ugly new hairstyle that you are constantly aware of your surroundings!…


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