Here, Now – I know I’m late getting this one posted, but this is last week’s Pulpit of Doom Podcast with myself, Jaded and Athena talking about the top ten stories for that week.
These stories included pit bull shenanigans, starving babies, inbred mutants, penis helicopters, and much, much more. Unfortunately, the guy who ass-raped a woman with his fist was number one for the third week in a row. Luckily, it looks like it has finally fallen down the list and will be gone before tomorrow night’s podcast
I also went on a mini-rant about some of our readers and their hypocritical stance regarding what bad news we should post, and what we shouldn’t. Some do not seem to understand that we simply pick the worst stories we can find. If that means pit bulls mauling people to death or a child being raped and murdered. It’s basic yellow journalism. It’s Schadenfreude. We just don’t have any issues admitting that.
We also stress to our readers that we are not true reflection of society, just a very small percentage of it.…
London – The lead singer for Lostprophets, 36-year-old Ian Watkins, was accused of a slew of child sex related crimes that included trying to rape a baby, sexually touching a 1-year-old, encouraging a fan to abuse her child and making child pornography.
He pleaded pleaded guilty last month to 13 charges and was sentenced yesterday to 29 years in prison. But that’s the good news. I’m here with some bad news – in the form of Judge Roger John Royce’s statements during the sentencing. His statements were directed to Watkins and the two women accused of raping their babies for Watkins’ pleasure, and included the following remark:
“I am satisfied that you are a deeply corrupting influence, you are highly manipulative, you are a sexual predator, you are dangerous,” Judge Roger John Royce said. “The public and, in particular, young females need protection from you.”
Before we get to the rest of his statements, it has also been revealed that police are now investigating whether Watkins committed similar crimes abroad.…
Brooklyn, NY – A teenage couple suffered serious burns after they attempted to make a potent form of marijuana but only ended up blowing themselves up inside a garage.
Anthony Gambale, 19, and Gabriella Katanov, 17, were making their stash 80 percent stronger by creating what is called “ear wax,” “dabs,” “honey oil,” or “butter.” The names are derived from the final product’s yellowish color and gooey consistency.
There are many how-to videos available online showing people how they can turn their herb into ear wax if you want to try it yourself, but one of the main steps includes soaking your marijuana in butane.
This couple had already finished that step, using a 30-gallon tub to cover some cannabis, and were in the process of evaporating the gas when one of the morons decided that was the perfect time to light up a cigarette.
The resulting explosion woke up the neighbors, who reported hearing the couple screaming for help from inside the burning garage. Gambale and Katanov were both transported to Staten Island University Hospital in serious condition, suffering from second- and third-degree burns.…
BAKERSFIELD, CA – A 17-year-old girl has been accused of murdering the 2-year-old boy she was supposed to be babysitting.
The teen was supposed to be caring for Kayden Webb while his mother was helping out at her own mother’s house. It’s not clear who called for help, but Webb stopped breathing around 3:15 a.m. Monday morning. Emergency crews transported Webb to a nearby hospital, but the boy would be pronounced dead a few hours later.
Later the same day, investigators said they’d developed enough probable cause to arrest the teen and book her into juvenile hall, accused of first-degree murder and assault on a child causing death. They have not reported exactly how the boy died, but Sheriff’s spokesman Ray Pruitt said there was evidence the boy had been assaulted.
“It’s our belief, at this point, that he died as a result of injuries that he sustained while he was with the female suspect,” Pruitt told reporters. “We were able to develop information that leads us to believe that she’s responsible for his death.”
Neighbors say the teen was homeless and Webb’s mother had let her stay in her home because she didn’t want the teen living on the street.…
Casco Township, MI – A man in Michigan was arrested after he allegedly punched his mother in the face repeatedly while decorating the family Christmas tree.
Pasco Township Police received a 911 call from a home on Friday with no one on the line. However, shouting could be heard as well as a female yelling “you are hurting me.” When police arrived at the home, they found 33-year-old Lewis Atwood with his girlfriend, mother and brother.
According to the report, the family had been decorating the family Christmas tree when a drunken Atwood flew into a jealous rage over finding his brother had a personalized ornament to hang on the tree, but he did not. In response, he began repeatedly punching his 58-year-old mom in the face.
The woman suffered a bloody nose, swollen eye and a swollen lip. As for Atwood, he had minor injuries to his knuckles and hands consistent with drunkenly punching your mother in the face multiple times. Atwood was arrested for domestic violence and booked into the county jail, where he’s being held on a $5000 bond.…
Boca Raton, FL — A former employee of Florida Atlantic University is facing charges after police say he secretly filmed students pissing and masturbating in the men’s restroom on the campus, then uploaded those video files to several pornographic websites.
Seth Thompson, a.k.a. Jerking_Bud, apparently filmed the unsuspecting men doing whatever it is that men do in a public restroom (Masturbating? Really?), then uploaded the videos to sites like PornHub, XTube, yuvutv, and Tumblr.
Police were tipped off to these skeevy shenanigans by one of the stars of his video clips — some student apparently stumbled across a video of himself pissing on PornHub. That same student recalled another male in the restroom at the time “casting suspicious glances” his way and carrying a large backpack.
Police reportedly found dozens of similar videos, with eye-catching titles like “A college kid and his dad taking a leak at a public bathroom,” “My buddy jerking off in the stall next to me,” and “My collection of hidden videos of guys taking a leak and jerking off,” posted on the aforementioned websites… all uploaded under the Jerking_Bud moniker. …
WOOSTER, OH – Police have arrested 24-year-old Jerrod Metsker and charged him with the murder of a 9-year-old girl found murdered in a dumpster.
Reann Murphy was last seen Saturday at around 5:30 p.m. playing outside her family’s trailer in the Smithville mobile home park. When her family could not locate her after she did not return back home, police were called at around 8:30 p.m. that night.
Police and firefighters arrived on the scene and assisted neighbors in their search for Reann, including visiting the 15 to 20 mobile homes that make up the community. Six hours later, Reann’s murdered body was found inside a common dumpster located in the courtyard of the trailer park.
“Any violent death is troubling but the death of a child is much more so. We will leave no stone unturned as this investigation continues,” Sheriff Travis Hutchinson said at the time.
It didn’t take long for investigators to identify Metsker as a possible suspect, as he was the last one seen with the girl.…
MILTON, GA – A man was sentenced to life in prison after shooting his stepson to death during an argument over loud video games.
Back in February of last year, 46-year-old Eric Brandon got into an argument with his stepson, 16-year-old Alexander Koser, over the teen playing his video games too loudly. While Koser was fixing a snack in the kitchen, Brandon grabbed a 12-gauge shotgun.
When Koser turned around, Brandon shot the teen once in the chest. He then racked the shotgun and fired a second shot into the teen’s his chest. He then racked the shotgun again and fired a third shot into his stepson’s body.
Brandon called 911 and reported what he had done and was apprehended without incident. According to the DA, while in the back of the police car, Brandon told police that he hoped the teen was dead. He was eventually charged with two counts of felony murder and with possession of a weapon while committing a felony.
Jurors took less than 30 minutes to convict him of the charges on Wednesday.…
Rockville, UT – Two people were killed after a 300 ton boulder literally flattened a house during a rockslide.
Emergency crews from multiple agencies were dispatched to a hillside along State Route 9, which runs through Zion National Park, at around 5 p.m. yesterday. They would find the home that once stood at the bottom of the hill had been destroyed by several boulders, including one sumbitch that stood over 15-feet tall.
“It just flattened out,” Rockville’s mayor, Dan McGuire, said of the house.
Sadly, the house wasn’t the only thing flattened out. Two people who were in the home have now been confirmed dead. Springdale Police Chief Kurt Wright said two bodies were found inside the home and were found close to each other.
Their names have not been released, but neighbors said they were beloved, longtime residents.
No official word on what caused the rockslide, but Wright blamed it on the winter weather. He said they’ve experiencing abnormally low temperatures and an abundance of snow. However, temperatures peaked at about 45 degrees on Thursday, possibly thawing the frozen rocks and sending them rolling down the hill.…
Readers of this site are well-informed on the dangers of pit bulls and their insatiable lust for human blood. But a man in Italy didn’t find this out until one of his two pit bulls chewed off his balls.
Firefighters found the 30-year-old man inside his apartment after his girlfriend, who hadn’t heard from him, called and asked them to perform a welfare check. She explained that he was a chronic diabetic and may have suffered a medical emergency preventing him from calling for help.
Once firefighters got inside the man’s apartment, they found him laying on the floor unconscious. He had lost a lot of blood from a severe injury caused by one of his two pit bulls chowing down on his yam bag. The man was rushed to the hospital in serious condition, but it is now being reported that he died from his injuries yesterday morning.…
LOSANGELES, CA — Earlier this month we reported on a man who was electrocuted while stealing copper, and now we have a man who was burned alive while trying to steal gasoline.
Firefighters were called to a 76 gas station early Tuesday morning on a report of a van on fire in the parking lot. Once the flames had been extinguished, the crew found the charred body of 56-year-old Richard Glover inside the van.
Investigators say the fire started while Glover was using a pump to siphon gas from the station’s underground gas tank into a couple of 55-gallon drums inside the van. The resulting explosion sent a fireball 10-feet into the air and blew out a nearby window, according to the station’s security guard.
Glover’s family told investigators they were aware of Glover’s tendency to steal gas whenever money got tight and had pleaded with him to stop, especially since he’d been burned once before while stealing gas.
“The family’s been asking him to stop, stop, stop, stop doing it,” said Glover’s brother-in-law.…
FORT WORTH, TX — A juvenile court judge has gotten some people upset after she sentenced 16-year-old Ethan Couch to 10 years’ probation for the drunk driving crash that killed four people.
Back in June, Breanna Mitchell’s SUV had a flat tire so she pulled over to the side of the road. Hollie Boyles, 52, and her daughter, Shelby Boyles, 21, lived nearby and had came out to help Mitchell. Brian Jennings, 41, was driving by and also stopped to see if he could lend a hand.
Unfortunately for all of them, 16-year-old Ethan Couch was also on the road, driving drunk. He and some of his seven passengers had stolen some beer from a Walmart hours earlier and were speeding when Couch lost control of his truck, left the road and struck Breanna’s SUV.
Breanna, Hollie, Shelby and Brian were not in the road when the collision occurred, but they were all killed on impact and thrown 50 to 60 yards away. One of Couch’s passengers suffered serious injuries while another remains paralyzed and only able to communicate by blinking his eyes.…
Roosevelt, UT – A male nurse at Uintah Basin Medical Center has been accused of sexually abusing a female surgery patient on multiple occasions.
Joshua Shumway, 26, allegedly sexually abused the woman in April while she was recovering overnight from surgery at the hospital. Although Shumway was not assigned to the patient, he administered medication to her and put her hand on an automatic morphine injector pump to activate it. Once she was nice and doped up, he sexually assaulted her. He then returned to her room four more times throughout the night to continue abusing her.
The woman said she tried to locate the nurse call button to alert someone of the attack, but she could not find it and had no way of physically escaping him. She also tried to vocalize her displeasure with Shumway’s actions by saying “please, no” but said her words came out “squeaky and stupid,” according to the charges. It also didn’t help that Shumway told her that if she didn’t keep her mouth shut, he’d cause her go into cardiac arrest by injecting her with a syringe.…
STLOUIS, MO – Remember that face? That’s 23-year-old Ashley Depew. She and her boyfriend made the news after claiming she was randomly attacked by three black males playing the “Knockout Game“. Police have now charged them both, accusing them of making the whole thing up.
Ashley and her boyfriend, 25-year-old Justin Simms, were in the news last month after they called police to report Depew had been attacked in a bar by three African-American men playing the knockout game.
Because the dreaded knockout game was involved, the game threatening the safety of white people everywhere, the story went viral after this Facebook post was made and got over 11,000 shares. I remember the moment the pic went viral, as my dog began barking like mad at the sound of the media banging their spoons together as they furiously stirred a crock of shit.
Not that I’m above sticking my own shit-stained spoon in the mix (it’s the same one I use for pit bull stories), but when it comes stories regarding the knockout game, I need video or I don’t even waste my time. …
MARSHALL, TX – Police have arrested a man who entered a Texas Walmart and began swinging a hatchet, injuring three people.
Three people inside a Texas Walmart were injured early Sunday morning after 27-year-old Christopher Hamilton, a transient from Arkansas, walked into the store wielding a hatchet.
Two of the injured were a Walmart employee and a customer who tried to stop Hamilton’s attack on a female employee. According to police, there is no known motive for the attack, and Hamilton did not know any of the people he injured.
“Evidently [the customer] had grabbed some cans of soup off of the stack and started throwing them at [the man with the hatchet] to get him off of the associate, and I believe he hit him in the back of the head and that’s when the guy took off running,” says Stewart.
After getting hit in the head with a can of soup, Hamilton fled the store and ran into a nearby wooded area. With the help of some K-9 units, police were able to locate Hamilton a little over an hour later.…
LAKELAND, FL – A 6-year-old girl had to be airlifted to the hospital after being attacked by two pit bulls so severely, her intestines were exposed.
Alicia Battle was playing in the backyard of her home Thursday afternoon when two pit bulls named “Boss” and “Promise” began attacking her. Michelle Williams, 25, heard the girl screaming and ran out of the house to help, only to have the dogs start biting her.
After biting Williams, the dogs ran on to the porch of the home and began attacking 7-year-old Clamorari Williams. Not quite done, the dogs then attacked 45-year-old Sherri Tanner when she stopped and tried to help. Animal control officers arrived on the scene and were able to corral the dogs without killing them, and have since placed them both in quarantine.
Alicia was airlifted to the hospital suffering from severe injuries to her arm and bites to her stomach that exposed her internal organs. She is currently listed in fair condition. Michelle required 8 to 9 stitches to her right calf, Clamorari suffered injuries to his knee and shin, while Sherri received puncture wounds and lacerations on her right thigh.…
Dispatchers received a call of a man lying on the ground near 5 Mile Rd in Boise with what looked to be a cord wrapped around his neck. When the deputies arrived, they found Shawn Sheltra sitting on the ground, wrapped in blankets and coveted by people who had stopped to help.
According to Sheltra, he was on his way to a tree house (cute) when he was suddenly attacked by two men. He claims he was knocked unconscious and awakened on the side of the road with an electrical cord around his neck and the words “your next” written on his stomach with a permanent marker.
Sheltra was taken to the hospital while 20 deputies from the Ada County Sheriff’s department closed down a section of Five Mile Road during rush hour in an attempt to find those responsible for the purported attack on the teen.…
LUNENBURG, MA – Last month the news was reporting on an incident in which a high school football player had his house tagged with racist graffiti. In response, the football team had their entire season cancelled. Now it is being reported that police believe they know who was responsible for the racist graffiti – the kid’s mother.
On November 15, Andrea Brazier called police to report someone had spray-painted “Knights don’t need niggers” on the side of her house. Brazier is white, her husband is black, and their son, 13-year-old Isaac Phillips, is biracial. He’s also a player on the Lundeburg high school football team the Blue Knights. Believing a fellow player was responsible for the graffiti, their football season was cancelled when no one one could come forward to claim responsibility.
To show support for Isaac, who transferred to a different school, the town held a candlelight vigil to show racism has no place in their town. Police initially investigated the high school football players, but they were eventually cleared.…