Chattanooga, TN – Police have charged a man with attempted murder after they say he tried to kill his roommate during an argument over a pot roast. There’s not a lot of details surrounding the event, so I have embellished a bit.
When 66-year-old Robert “Cooter Brown” Cooper discovered that his roommate had eaten an entire pot roast, Cooter walked into the man’s room and pistol-whipped him as he slept.
“Cooter, didjee jus hit me wid dat pistol?” asked the roommate as he jumped out of bed. “Yesiree I did,” replied Cooter as he brandished the handgun. “An’ Ima fixin’ to put a new hole in ya’.”
“Well why in da world didgee go an do that fer?” the roommate inquired. “Becuz I wuz hankerin’s for some vittles but you dun gon an et ‘em all,” explained Cooter. “So nows Ima gunna clean yer plow!”
Cooter and the roommate got into a struggle that resulted in the roommate being able to eject the magazine from Cooter’s gun.
“Now watcha gunna do, Cooter?” the roommate asked.…
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