Benito Catello Is Just Brimming With The Holy Spirit

Las Vegas, Nevada – Please allow me to introduce you to Benito Catello. I’ll have you know, he is a prophet of God. If you don’t believe me, just ask him, he’ll tell ya! Benito operates his own non-denominational church, out of his house, that he has named “The Ministry.” Twice a week, Benito opens his home to his 30-some sheep and holds religical type meetings. Curiously, Benito’s followers seem to consist mostly of minors, which roused the suspicion of some neighbors, like Enrique Esquer. “They were minors. That’s why I was suspicious, and other neighbors — Why are there only minors?” pondered Enrique. “There were some adults on the weekends.” Now, what could this little old prophet possibly have done to earn himself a spot here on the Dreamin’ Demon? Well, it seems he may have been taking some indecent liberties with a few of his younger sheep. I know, shocking, right? [Read more...]

Glen VanKleeck Has Found The Lord

Akron, OH - So of course that means he “swears to God” that he’s “never going to molest anyone again”.  Never mind that Glen VanKleeck, 70, was a church leader for umpteen bazillion years in Florida and Ohio.  Nevermind that VanKleeck was a police officer and Boy Scout leader for decades.   (Yes, Canteen Boy, he was.  They’re called “stereotypes” for a reason.)   This week, VanKleeck found out that God won’t save him from prison.   [Read more...]