Woman Hits Boy With Car, Tosses Christian Booklet, Leaves Scene

December 6, 2011 at 8:12 am by kniption  

Houston, TX – Aida Hillen, 58, has been arrested after police say she hit a high school student with her car, tossed a religious pamphlet out of her window and drove off.

The incident happened October 14 around 5PM. Police say Hillen was driving near Milby High School when she struck a student. The student told police he was knocked to the ground by Hillen’s car. He reportedly told police that Hillen stopped, rolled down her window and asked if he was “okay.”

But when he said “no,” the student said Hillen tossed a Christian booklet at him and left the scene.

Another student who witnessed this reportedly ran after the car trying to flag Hillen down, but Hillen just waved “bye” at him and kept driving. That person wrote her license plate number down on his arm and called 911. The victim was treated and released, but a few days later had to go to the emergency room with chest pains – reportedly for bruised ribs.

Investigators said the student identified Hillen in a photo array that included her driver’s license picture.…

Student Shot, Killed In Dorm Room At Christian University

October 4, 2010 at 2:02 pm by Morbid  

ELIZABETH CITY, N.C. – One student is dead and another accused of shooting him to death in a dorm room  at Mid-Atlantic Christian University. Police say Jonathan Schipper was shot dead by a fellow student inside the Pearl Presley Hall Sunday afternoon. The shooter willingly turned himself over to police and is cooperating with investigators. Classes were cancelled for today and and local ministers and counselors will be available to students, faculty and staff. If you can get it to load, they have released a statement you can read over at their website asking students to cooperate and how MACU strives to express love, forgiveness, and the peace of the Lord Jesus Christ. “This is a Godly place that had a very ungodly thing happen,” remarked Clay Perkins, president of Mid-Atlantic Christian University. Because you know, God never killed anyone for asinine reasons. Well, except for Lot’s wife for looking back, Onan for spilling his seed, that guy who picked up sticks on the Sabbath, those children he sent the two bears after because they made fun of a man’s bald head, Uzzah for trying to keep the ark from falling, and those poor spies sent by Moses killed by God for returning an honest report.…

Student Sent For Psych Exam After Drawing Picture Of Man Being Murdered

December 16, 2009 at 11:39 am by Morbid  

TAUNTON, Massachusetts – Here’s a story making the rounds that has me a bit riled up. Two weeks ago, a Maxham Elementary School teacher found an eighth-grade special needs student drawing a picture of someone being crucified on a cross with X’s for eyes. Following standard school protocol, the student’s records were reviewed, and after discussions with staff and central administration it was deemed that the student complete a psychological evaluation before being allowed back to school. Now some may see this as a grossly overkill knee-jerk reaction, but in this day and age of school violence and shootings, these facilities can take no precautions or possibly suffer circumstances that may even have the school being held liable if it is found to have had signs of disturbing behavior from a student, who later shoots up the cafeteria, but did nothing about it. But this story has now made the news because it has turned religious in nature and Christians everywhere are being riled up into a teeth-gnashing furor after a headline read BOY SUSPENDED FROM SCHOOL FOR DRAWING JESUS.…

Warning! Robert Rosseau’s Secret Society Wants Your Teen Daughter’s Butthole!

October 30, 2009 at 12:05 pm by Morbid  

San Antonio, Texas — If any of you male readers ever find yourself a tubby, pasty-faced piece of shit teaching “Science, Keyboarding and Bible” at a Christian school but still feel the need to have sex with your step-daughter and her 16-year-old friend — just follow 37-year-old Robert Louis Rosseau’s lead and create a “secret society.” I know, I know. It sounds asinine but it seems to work. Just do some better planning so you don’t end up like Rosseau and charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child. His plan involved telling his step-daughter and her friend that he was part of a society known as The Order that worked behind the scenes to better mankind. The Order encompassed elements of Freemasonry, witchcraft, Christianity, and teen buttholes. Rosseau was a director and among his many duties was the recruitment of specifically chosen members into The Order. These chosen members just happened to be teenage schoolgirls. Coincidentally, part of a new member’s initiation included the new recruit having sexual relations with Rosseau to create a bond of trust.…

Home Depot Hates God! aka Home Depot Enforces Their Dress Code

October 28, 2009 at 12:09 pm by Morbid  

OKEECHOBEE, FLorida - Well, not really. They are just trying to enforce a dress code that includes employees not wearing buttons that promotes a religion. But some Christian got his panties in a bunch when Home Depot asked him to quit wearing a button that stated, “One nation under God“. Of course, Trevor Keezer says it isn’t about religion, its about loving your country. “I was just doing what I think every American should do, just love my country.” Which of course is total bullshit. Had that been the case, then he would have worn the alternate, approved button authorized by Home Depot that stated “United We Stand“. But of course, Keezer declined and hired a lawyer who plan on suing Home Depot for religious discrimination.…