Good day, sickos. I want to thank all of you for your calls and emails inquiring about my well-being and offering sex at various public parks. But fear not, I am just on a much-deserved, much-needed vacation. Although I am off this week, I will be writing up some stuff off and on while finally being able to focus on some DD house cleaning. I'll also have time to respond to some of you interested in writing. In the meantime, be sure to check out the forums for the latest in terrible news.

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Reb BarbeePRAIRIE TOWNSHIP, OH – Three teens are facing murder charges after their friend was shot and killed by a woman inside the home he was attempting to rob.

According to police, 17-year-old Reb Barbee and three friends planned to break into the home of a childhood friend he’d had a falling out with.

Barbee entered the home early Sunday morning through an upstairs window wearing an Insane Clown Posse mask and armed with a knife. His accomplices, Tyler Blazer and Brandon Hamilton, both 17, and Adam Pickens, 18, stayed outside as lookouts.

Heather Tackett woke up when she heard noises inside her home so she grabbed her boyfriend’s .38-caliber revolver and went to investigate. When she checked in her son’s room, she found a masked Barbee standing over her son holding a knife.

Tackett, unaware that the masked intruder was her son’s childhood friend who used to sleepover, screamed and fired one shot at Barbee, who then fled the home suffering from a single gunshot wound to the back.

His accomplices, being the geniuses they are, used a computer chair to wheel Barbee back to his home a half mile away.…

Victor ManzanaresSan Jose, CA — Victor Manzanares, 39, is facing multiple charges after allegedly entering a family’s home and inappropriately touching their two young daughters before attempting to burn their house down.

Officers responded to the home Monday, after receiving several reports of a naked man running rampant through the neighborhood.

While cops were combing the neighborhood, a butt nekkid Manzanares reportedly entered the home through an unlocked door. Once inside, police say, he walked into the bedroom of a 10-year-old girl and got all touchy-feely.

“He came into my room… he kissed my cheek, I thought it was my dad, and then he lied next to my bed and tried to touch my bum,” the girl said.

Not sure what caused Manzaneres to exit the room, but he soon wandered into the living room where a 12-year-old girl was napping.

“I was on the couch taking a nap,” the girl said. “I was in deep sleep when the man licked my face and I freaked out.”

The two girls rounded up their little brother and beat feet out of the house. …

Byron SmithLittle Falls, MN – Back in 2012 we reported on 64-year-old Byron Smith, the man who shot two teenagers to death on Thanksgiving Day as they broke into his home.

He was convicted of their murder the other day and now the courts have released the tapes jurors heard that helped them send Smith to prison for the rest of his life.

For those of you who may have missed this story, Nicholas Schaeffel and Haile Kifer were both shot to death when they broke into the home of Byron Smith.

While Minnesota does allow for someone to use deadly force to prevent a felony from taking place in one’s home or dwelling, Byron was charged with a crime because of the things he did before shooting the teens.

Aside from moving his truck to make it look as if he wasn’t home, he setup a hiding spot in his basement and waited for the teens to show up. He even had a tarp ready that he used to wrap up their bullet-ridden bodies.…

Cameo CrispiNaples, UT — A 31-year-old woman has been arrested after allegedly attempting to burn down her ex-boyfriend’s home by intentionally leaving a pound of bacon burning on a gas stove.

GUILTY! OFF WITH HER HEAD!

It all started when Cameo Crispi’s ex called police on March 14 to complain that he had received numerous texts and phone calls from her within the range of one hour, and he really wanted her to knock it the fuck off already. He also told police he didn’t want Crispi at his home. Crispi. Heh.

An officer was dispatched to the man’s home and found smoke pouring out the front door. Inside, an “impaired” Crispi.

When the officer stepped inside the man’s home, he noticed a wood stove left open with a fire burning inside and hot coals on the floor around the stove. And on the kitchen stove, claimed the officer, there was a cookie sheet with about a pound of bacon on it. Now, bear with me, people….. this part of the story is extremely difficult for me.…

Man Accused Of Trying To Eat Neighbor’s Face Off

January 23, 2014 at 5:49 am by  

Bath Salt ZombieStPetersburg, FL — No, this is not a repeat….

Authorities claim 18-year-old Brandon Davis, apparently high on some sort of synthetic drug, attacked his neighbor early Sunday morning, biting the man on his face, hands and neck while yelling something about eating the man’s eyeballs.

The victim, 54-year-old Nick Sorace, told police he heard a commotion at about 2:00 a.m. Sunday, and when he looked out the window to see what all the fuss was about, he witnessed Davis beating a dog.

“He thought the dog was the devil,” Sorace said. “And then the next thing he sees is me, illuminated — and all of a sudden, I’m the devil.”

Davis apparently kicked in Sorace’s front door, chased a woman through the house and out the back door, then returned. He started beating and biting Sorace, continuing with his “You’re the Devil” spiel.

“He broke a flower pot over my head, he was sticking me in the neck with pieces…he stuck his thumb all the way in my eye socket and he just ripped my mouth and he bit my face.…

Joshua McCoyPORTLAND, OR – A man armed with a shotgun got a bit more than he bargained for after he broke into an apartment during an attempt to rob the people inside.

After 38-year-old Joshua McCoy successfully broke down the front door of the residence, while wielding a pistol-grip shotgun , he demanded money from the residents.

But a quick thinking 20-year-old foiled McCoy’s robbery attempt after he grabbed the shotgun from McCoy and then pushed his ass down a flight of stairs. McCoy ended up hitting his head on the way down and was knocked unconscious.

The 20-year-old and his mother’s boyfriend called police and stood watch over McCoy until law enforcement arrived and took McCoy into custody. After a quick trip to the hospital, McCoy was taken to jail and charged with first-degree robbery, second-degree robbery and first-degree burglary.…

Nellie PalaciosSanta Maria, CA — Look at that mug, people. Does that look like the face of crazy? The kind of crazy that would break into your home, steal your shit and kill your cat after a breakup? Meet 43-year-old Nellie Palacios — from what police are saying, yes, she is that kind of crazy.

According to police, on the afternoon of January 2, Palacios, accompanied by her new boyfriend, entered her ex-boyfriend’s home and started grabbing paintings from the walls and stashed ‘em in her car. She also apparently choked the man’s cat a bit before stabbing it with a kitchen knife.

The new boyfriend, who apparently believed he was at a home of one of the woman’s cousins, called police to report the woman’s erratic behavior. I’m assuming he got a little wigged out once the stabbing commenced….

When police arrived on scene, the new boyfriend informed them he had primarily been outside while Palacios was robbing the place, but did admit to seeing Palacios stab the cat and stash the body in an igloo type doghouse in the yard.…

Javon Tyrek RogersPOUGHKEEPSIE, NY – A 20-year-old suspected serial burglar has been accused of murdering a 99-year-old woman in her home.

Late Friday night, police charged Javon Tyrek Rogers with the murder of Fannie Gumbinger. A home aid worker found Gumbinger dead inside her home early Wednesday.

Police have not released exactly how Gumbinger died, aside from saying that she suffered multiple injuries.

Investigators were on the scene for two days collecting evidence before finally homing in on Rogers. Turns out that Rogers may be connected to a string of burglaries in the area, including one that happened just hours after Gumbinger’s murder, a half-mile from her home.

Rogers has been charged with first-degree murder and first-degree burglary. He is being held without bond in the Dutchess County Jail.

Friends of Gumbinger called her “sharp as a tack”, whose only ailments were a bad leg and hip that kept her confined to her home and in need of home healthcare workers.

“I can’t imagine why people would have gone into that house, other than the fact that she was a defenseless old lady,” said Gumbinger’s niece.…

Allen Scott HamiltonLOUISVILLE, KY – I know times are tough for some, but come on. Police have arrested two people who used a 3-year-old to steal a wallet at a local church.

On June 23, 26-year-old Allen Scott Hamilton drove 26-year-old Kimberly Mills and her 3-year-old daughter to the Faith Community Church while a religious service was taking place. According to the arrest warrant, Mills used this opportunity to enter an “employees only” area of the church.

Once inside, Mills allegedly instructed her 3-year-old to take a wallet from one of the church offices. Luckily, the church’s pastor, Richard Pearson, walked into the office and caught them red-handed. Mills tried telling the pastor that her daughter had found the wallet, but that didn’t explain why Mills was holding the victim’s credit cards in her hand.

Not too happy having the roles reversed, Mills and her daughter were escorted out of the church where they got into a car driven by Hamilton. Before they drove off, the victim was able to get their license plate number. …

wooded cabinLAPORTE COUNTY, IN – A man died inside the home he broke into after the homeowner shot him once in the chest.

At around 9:15 a.m. Monday, the sheriff’s department received a phone call from a homeowner who informed them he had just shot a man who had broke into his home. When police arrived at the home they found the “extremely upset” homeowner and the suspect, 23-year-old Jason Rabe, dead from a single gunshot wound to the chest.

The homeowner told police that he was sleeping when he was awoke by the sound of breaking glass. After arming himself with a pistol he went to investigate and encountered Rabe, who was armed with a hatchet. The two exchanged words and got into a a physical altercation that ended when the homeowner shot Rabe and the bullet ruptured Rabe’s heart.

Police say the suspect arrived at the home on a moped with the intent of breaking into it and had entered the home after breaking a rear window. The homeowner says he does not know Rabe, who police believe chose the home because it is hidden by woods.…

Robert ColeTULSA, OK –  A man in Tulsa tackled and hogtied an attempted burglar, then left him in the front yard for police because he had to go to work.

On Wednesday, Denay and her husband heard glass break outside their daughter’s bedroom around 6 a.m. and then heard someone rummaging around inside their garage. Denay’s husband, Willie, waited by the front door and waited for whoever was in the garage to come out.

When 31-year-old Robert Cole emerged from their garage, Denay’s husband bum-rushed him in the front yard and then hogtied him. As soon as Cole was secured, Denay said her husband called police and told her he had to get to work and then left.

“That’s just the type of person he is, you know? That’s just the type of person he is. Business is business. ‘I got to take care of business, he’s safe, the police are coming, I got to go,'” Denay said.

When asked if her husband raised his arms in victory like people who hogtie cattle, which would have been hilarious, Denay said he did something even more awesome.…

Jesse DanielsClyde, NY – A man who caught four children vandalizing a home and held them in a closet until police arrived, has been charged with four counts of endangering the welfare of a child.

It happened Saturday night when Jesse Daniels had his wife call 911 after he heard loud noises coming from the home next door that he was renovating for his father-in-law. When he went inside the home, he busted four kids, ages eight and ten, doing some major damage to the property.  He knew the kids and their parents, and his wife had a minor altercation with them earlier that day when she asked the kids, who were on ATV’s, to get off their property.

Daniels said he took a hammer from one of the kids and then herded them all into a closet until police got there. “So I grab the one hammer and the other three (boys) got hammers, now I don’t know what to do here, I said you guys put that stuff down, what are you doing?  …

Rich StynerSAN LEANDRO — Richard Styner is facing child porn and burglary charges after the 45-year-old San Leandro High School teacher accidentally showed a naked photo of himself to a classroom of students.

On April 16, Styner was teaching a computer class how to transfer pictures from electronic devices to a computer using his personal phone. During this demonstration, he accidentally displayed a naked picture of himself on the overhead projector, in full view of a class full of 14 to 18-year-old students.

“At first the reaction was that everybody was laughing because they thought it was a joke, but then when everybody realized that it was our teacher, Mr. Styner, that’s when everybody got quiet because they realized it was serious,” said one student who was the class when it happened.

Styner reported the incident to school officials, who placed Styner on leave. Everything may have ended there had the school not checked his school computer. A search of the computer resulted in 200 pornographic stories being found in a folder, along with some disturbing photos.…

lootersMOORE, OK – Two men were arrested Tuesday night, accused of looting from a Moore neighborhood hit by the EF-5 tornado that killed at least 24 people..

A homeowner called police after returning to his home to find two men going through the rubble of his house. When he asked what the hell they were doing, they stated they were searching for survivors. Unfortunately, they weren’t talking about human beings trapped underneath debris, they were talking about valuable items not destroyed by the tornado.

According to the homeowner who found the men in his house, he found some of his belongings in the suspects’ pockets. When police arrived at the scene, they found the men with a bag full of items the two had reportedly stolen from destroyed homes in the neighborhood.

Police have not identified the suspects at this time, much to many people’s dismay, but the video below shows both of them being arrested and sparked a long series of racists comments regarding their ethnicity. To combat the looting issue, the Oklahoma Insurance Commissioner is working on a badge system that will issue badges to residents that allow them to enter neighborhoods damaged by the tornado.…

Jason Lee VickerySt. Augustine, FL — A 23-year-old man is facing charges after police say he entered a couple’s home, masturbated, played with their toy helicopter and then ate a salad he had brought along with him.

Jason Vickery apparently passed by the home sometime last Wednesday evening and noticed one of the doors was unlocked. Instead of entering the home immediately, Vickery reportedly went to his own home and grabbed a bag containing a wig, a pouch of chewing tobacco, a green towel and a salad.

Vickery then returned to the unoccupied home, police say, and entered through the unlocked door.

Vickery reportedly told police that upon entering the home, he headed to an upstairs bathroom to masturbate. Cause, you know, priorities and stuff.

Once his worm was burped, Vickery wandered into the kitchen. (No word on whether he had washed his hands first). On the kitchen counter he found a remote control helicopter, minus the batteries.

“After searching for and finding batteries for the toy, he played with it, flying it for a short time, thus depriving the owner of the item,” police said.…

Cheryl BeauchampPALM BAY, FL – Police say a homeless woman was arrested and has been charged with burglary and criminal mischief after she was found in a Palm Bay homeowner’s pool, using it to take a bath.

According to a police report, officers were called to a home on the 1300 block of Knecht Road after the homeowner said he saw a strange woman enter his back yard. The man said he used his surveillance system to see what the woman was doing when she walked behind his house and promptly dropped a deuce on his lawn.

The sea-nymph, later identified as 35-year-old Cheryl Beauchamp, wasn’t finished. Unable to enter the pool area, she used a rock to cut the screen to gain access, stripped naked, and sans Calgon, hopped in for a little rub-a-dub-dub. No word in the report whether or not she wiped, first.

When police confronted Beauchamp, she told them she wanted to take a bath, and broke the screen because the door was locked. She also told them that she was on her way to Washington, D.C., where she was headed so she could yell at President Obama.…

Kelly CustisDeltona, Florida — Kelli Custis 27, is accused of breaking into her ex fiancé’s house and beating his new girlfriend as she laid in bed this past week.

It is alleged that Miss Custis broke into her ex fiancé’s place and proceeded to his bedroom. The man and his new girl were in bed when Custic flicked the lights on and attacked the new girlfriend by scratching her. Police say Custis scratched the new girlfriend’s arms, face and pulled out a few clumps of hair. Not so pretty now, is she!?

Meanwhile, the ex grabbed the phone and called 911:

Dispatcher: You said there are two girls in your bed doing what?
Caller: I have my ex-fiancee in my bed. And I’ve got another girl in my house.
Dispatcher: The girls are fighting in your bed?
Caller: Yes, right now.
Caller: Can I get a [expletive] cop, hurry?
Dispatcher: What are they fighting about?
Caller: They’re [expletive] women. I’m sorry, I apologize.

When police showed up, Custis claimed that the new girlfriend started the fight.…

Jelena Monique TaylorCorvallis, Oregon — The wide eyed beauty you see here is Miss Jelena Monique Taylor, 44. She likes to party Carrie style. She also apparently enjoys the recreational use of meth and getting her hair and nails did. Oh, and she enjoys getting naked.

Sadly, meth and time do not combine very well. You see, Jelena reportedl went to the salon “The Rage” extra early to make sure she got in. So early, in fact, she literally had to break in. As in the door. With a body part of hers, which made her bleed. But it seems that since meth gives those on it superpowers, Miss Jelena went all Hulk on equipment at the salon and smashed it while bleeding all over everything.

“There were broken vases, and a broken dryer. … The toilet, the shower, everything was covered in blood. It looked like a murder scene,” said salon owner Kayley Kampfer.

Oh, and she did all of this bare assed. I agree with the part where she thought: “fuck my pants” and dropped them.…


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