Good day, sickos. I want to thank all of you for your calls and emails inquiring about my well-being and offering sex at various public parks. But fear not, I am just on a much-deserved, much-needed vacation. Although I am off this week, I will be writing up some stuff off and on while finally being able to focus on some DD house cleaning. I'll also have time to respond to some of you interested in writing. In the meantime, be sure to check out the forums for the latest in terrible news.

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No teefsLakewood, WA — A 52-year-old man was arrested Sunday after angrily gumming his roommate’s arm because she refused to clean his ear.

Kenneth Chambers and his roommate were apparently involved in some sort of strange altercation that stemmed from her refusal to clean his ear. One thing led to another, and Chambers ended up ripping the woman’s bedroom door off its hinges.

The alleged victim told police that at that point, she sat on Chambers’ lap and tried to talk to him, but he refused to be placated and pushed her to the floor. He then gummed her wrist. And then, well, he choked her a little bit and poured water all over her, damaging her hearing aid. When she stated she was going to call 911, Chambers threatened to kill her, she said.

When questioned by police, Chambers claimed the woman hit him… he was only trying to defend himself. He did admit to gumming her, but said it couldn’t have hurt because he doesn’t have any teeth.

Chambers was arrested after a witness confirmed the victim’s account of the story.…

Joshua CooperFairfield, CA — An 18-year-old father, frustrated by his infant son’s crying, has been jailed after allegedly biting at least one third of the child’s nose off. That’ll teach the little fucker, eh?

Police received a call from the infant’s hysterical 17-year-old mother Thursday, who stated that her child was bleeding profusely from the nose. Or what was left of it, anyway….

An examination of the child revealed a skull fracture, a brain hemorrhage and the injury to the nose. They soon learned that the child’s father, Joshua Cooper, was the responsible party. Police determined Joshua chewed on the kid’s face because he wouldn’t shut up.

He’s been charged with child cruelty and aggravated mayhem. The investigation to determine how the child sustained the skull fracture and brain hemorrhage is ongoing.

The infant is said to be in stable condition.…

Danielle NebelungMacomb County, MI — A 31-year-old woman was arrested over the weekend after she bit off the top part of her boyfriend’s ear during an argument.

The woman’s 36-year-old boyfriend called police early Saturday morning, claiming that after an argument with his live-in lady, Danielle Nebelung, he was missing a chunk of flesh from the top of his ear.

No word on what the couple were arguing about, but I’m sure it was his fault. Anyway, the man told police Nebelung began punching him in the face and head. When he turned away from her, he said, she jumped on his back and chomped, biting off the top part of his left ear.

Fortunately for him, Nebelung is a spitter — the missing portion was located and he was transported to a hospital for treatment. Haven’t seen whether they were able to reattach it or not.

Nebelung was arraigned on an aggravated assault charge and ordered held on $10,000 bond.…

Man Goes Postal, Bites Mailman’s Leg

February 13, 2014 at 1:43 am by  

Robert KieferAkron, OH — This here is 25-year-old Robert Kiefer — he’s been accused of attacking a mailman, pepper spraying the dude and biting him multiple times, after a check he was expecting didn’t show.

According to the 56-year-old victim, when he learned the postman wasn’t delivering the aforementioned check, an agitated Kiefer snatched his pepper spray off his belt and squirted him in the eyes. This led to a wrestling match, of sorts, in the street. The mailman told police that while the two were struggling, Kiefer bit him on the leg three times.

The two were still at it when police arrived on scene. Kiefer still had a bit of fight left in him, and when officers tried to subdue him, he reportedly resisted. This earned him a pepper sprayin’.

The two were eventually pried apart and Kiefer was taken into custody. He was charged with assault and battery and resisting arrest, and was ordered held on $1,000 bond.

The mailman was treated at the scene for the bite wounds and a cut to the knee.…

Alberto FelipeBoca Raton, FL — A Florida man is facing charges after allegedly biting his neighbor’s ear off because the man refused to give him a smoke.

According to the victim, John Ott, his neighbor approached him Friday night and asked if he could bum a cigarette. Before he even had a chance to realize what was happening, Ott said, Alberto Felipe was all over him.

“He comes up puts me in a bear hug and next thing I know he’s biting my ear,” Ott said. “This all started because I wouldn’t give him a cigarette.”

Ott was rushed to a local hospital, his ear just kinda hanging on by a thread. Fortunately, Felipe didn’t swallow any important pieces and doctors were able to stitch it back on.

Felipe was arrested for felony aggravated battery, but has already made his $3,000 bond. It’s not his first rodeo, either — he’s had at least three previous convictions for assault and battery.

Ott says Felipe is back in the ‘hood, hurling insults at him from across the street on a fairly regular basis.…

Adult Son Bites Father’s Eyebrow Off

December 14, 2013 at 3:03 am by  

2013-12-14_100254Burien, WA – A man is being charged with assault after biting his loving dad’s eyebrow off in a drunken dispute.

Hermilo Salmeron was driving his son, 30 year-old Joel Salmeron-Ciprian, his son’s wife, as well as his grandkids home from a wedding because his son was too drunk to drive.

Prosecutor’s have relayed that Salmeron-Ciprian munchy-wunched on his father’s face after the patriarch pulled the car over because his inebriated failure of a son was screaming expletives at him, punched him in the face, and eventually placed his hands around the driver’s throat.

A fight ensued after both men exited the truck leading up to the bite. All of this in front of the passengers in the car, which included young children.

King County deputy sheriffs answered the call and found Salmeron-Ciprian pinned to the ground by his father, who was bleeding profusely from his face. Medics responded to the scene and took the older man to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle.

Upon his arrest, Salmeron-Ciprian decided to challenge deputies, which led to his dumb ass being subdued with a stun-gun.…

408-859-5160Daly City, CA — A 26-year-old man accused of “viciously” biting his parents and threatening to kill them and burn their home down during an argument over a visit with the family cat, has pleaded not guilty to felonious assault.

After returning home from a Thanksgiving trip Saturday, Yevgeniy Bolshakov asked his parents if he could see the family cat, as he had missed the evil fucking creature while he was away. His parents denied his request, stating that the cat had recently undergone surgery and just wasn’t up to receiving visitors. Primadonna….

And that’s about the time Bolshakov lost his shit.

He reportedly lashed out at his father, punching him in the head several times before biting a chunk of meat out of the 64-year-old man’s arm. He also bit the man on the elbow and the chin. When mom tried to intervene, the 54-year-old woman got popped upside the head and bitten on hand, claim authorities.

Bolshakov was promptly carted off to jail, allegedly declaring on the way that he wanted to kill both of his parents and burn their apartment down.…

Irene GonzalesHOUSTON, TX – Police have accused a woman of instructing her 5-year-old nephew to bite his 7-year-old sister and cut her with a knife.

Irene Gonzales, 37, has been charged with injury to a child after teachers at her niece’s school noticed the girl was sporting bruised bite marks and cuts on her back. When asked how she received her injuries, she told them her little brother did it. When asked why he would do that, she told them it was because her aunt told him to.

When police questioned the boy, he confirmed his sister’s story and said that he’d bit his sister after being told to do so by Gonzales. When Gonzales was questioned, she actually admitted she’d told the boy to bite his sister as a form of discipline, and to cut her back with a knife as a form of punishment.

Gonzales, who has custody the two children, is being held on $5,000 bond. Child Protective Services says it’s investigating and the children have been placed with another family member.…

Christina SalinasRough and Ready, CA – Christina Salinas’ husband says the only thing he regrets about his wife biting his penis, is that he called 911.

The incident happened last Sunday after Salinas and her her husband, Anthony Hill, got into an argument while drinking at the Penn Valley Rodeo. She wanted to stay and dance, but he wanted to go home. The argument escalated once the couple arrived at home when Salinas grabbed two kitchen knives.

That’s when Salinas’ ex-husband, who lives with the couple, talked her into dropping the knives. When Hill tried leaving the house and got her four kids into the car, Salinas ran out and attacked him. With her husband and ex-husband trying to hold Salinas down, she somehow managed to bite Hill’s penis and hand.

Hill called 911, but says now he regrets doing that as the couple routinely assault each other. “I’ve assaulted her before in arguments,” he stated. “We work it out.” The Sheriff’s department stated Hill told them that Salinas smacked her oldest daughter around, but Hill is claiming this isn’t true.…

Krystle HarrisonBradenton, FL – According to police, when 19-year-old Krystle Harrison’s live-in boyfriend refused to have sex with her, she bit his dick in retaliation.

According to the police report, Harrison and her boyfriend, 24-year-old Jeffrey Wilkinson, were in bed when Harrison got horny and began touching on Wilkinson.

But Wilkinson had no desire to give his dog a bone and told her several times that he did not want to have sex. When he turned away from Harrison, that’s when he said she grabbed him and “bit his penis.”

Aftr getting up and walking out of the home the couple shares with their infant son, Harrison followed and allegedly slapped Wilkinson in the face before spitting in it.

Deputies noted Wilkinson had some minor scratches to his chest but he declined medical treatment for that or his bit penis. He also declined signing a sworn affidavit about the incident, telling police he did not want to press charges against his girlfriend.

Regardless, the couple were handed Domestic Violence packets and Harrison was arrested on charges of misdemeanor domestic battery.…

Heather HamptonConway, SC – Police have charged 35-year-old heather Hampton with unlawful neglect of a child after they say she was drunk when she got into a fight with her two sons and ended up biting one child while stepping on another.

According to police, Hampton was intoxicated Saturday night when she began arguing with an 11-year-old boy that got so heated that police were called to the home.

When police arrived, they found the 11-year-old was sporting visible injuries, including bite marks on his head, neck and face. A 2-year-old boy was also there and had a scratch on his shoulder and chin.

The older boy told police Hampton was responsible for his injuries and that she’d also knocked over and stepped on the toddler. Hampton, who police noted had the smell of alcohol on her breath, was arrested and charged with two counts of unlawful neglect of a child.

The S.C. Department of Social Services arrived at the home and arranged a temporary place for the two boys to stay. …

Daniel AnayaSante Fe, NM – Back in February, we reported on 27-year-old Daniel Anaya, the Dillard’s shoe salesman accused of attacking his ex-girlfriend and trying to chew off her big toe. He’s now been arrested again, charged with doing the exact same thing.

Anaya first made the news after he broke into his ex girlfriend’s apartment, held her down and proceeded to take bites out of her toenail and toe flesh with “a blank look on his face.” Anaya was facing charges of burglary, false imprisonment, interference with communications and aggravated battery against a household member.

That case was was dismissed because a witness or prosecutor didn’t show up to court. I’m going to go out on a limb and bet that the ex-girlfriend didn’t show up, and that she is now regretting that decision.

After filing a restraining order against Anaya, the victim moved from Santa Fe to Albuquerque. This did little to deter Anaya, who tracked her down and walked into the woman’s residence on April 1st. His ex informed him that he he needed to get out and that he was violating a restraining order.…

Tori WheelerWagoner County, OK – Police have arrested 18-year-old Tori Wheeler after they say she played an April Fool’s prank on her boyfriend before cutting his throat.

On April 1st, Wheeler decided to play a prank on her boyfriend, Derek Bauer, by telling him she was pregnant. Bauer did not take the news very well and became agitated at the thought of fathering a child with Wheeler.

Wheeler then became angry at her boyfriend’s negative response and responded by pulling out a knife and threatening Bauer with it. Wheeler later told police that the “threatening upset boyfriend with a knife” was also part of her hilarious April Fool’s prank

Bauer didn’t find any of this funny at all and threatened to call police on Wheeler. That’s when Wheeler lost her goddamn marbles and attacked Bauer, cutting his throat with the knife and biting him twice.

After calling police to report Wheeler, Bauer was taken to the hospital for non-life-threatening injuries and later released. For her prank, Tori Wheeler was taken to jail on a charge of assault with a deadly weapon.…

Priscilla VaughnOrlando, FL – Police have charged 29-year-old Priscilla Vaughn with attempted murder after she chewed on a man’s genitals so severely that he needed surgery.

The man met Vaughn on Backpage.com where she is listed as an escort. After a romantic dinner at Applebee’s, the pair consumed Ecstasy, alcohol and marijuana before going back to a hotel room. That’s where Vaughn started biting the 30-year-old man’s penis and genitals, causing him to bleed heavily.

The man told deputies that it appeared as if Vaughn was “trying to eat his penis and testicles.”  He said he tried to fight her off but she was too powerful and she tried gouging his eyes out. After biting and scratching the man’s leg, abdomen, chest and fingers, Priscilla Vaughn took his car keys and broke his phone. He ended up locking himself in the bathroom until help arrived.

Luckily, other hotel guests heard screaming and growling coming from the room and called 911. Vaughn was still there when police arrived on the scene, naked and growling with blood around her mouth.…

Elaine CookSkokie, IL — The pleasant looking woman you see to the left is 51-year-old Elaine Cook – she’s behind bars on a $100,000 bond for allegedly biting off a significant chunk of her boyfriend’s tongue. Yum.

According to prosecutors, Cook and her 47-year-old boyfriend of 10 months had just returned home after a Valentine’s Day date when shit got ugly.

After arguing, Cook demanded that her boyfriend vacate the premises. He tried to oblige, but made the mistake of trying to kiss and make up before leaving.

“He told her they should stop fighting and went to kiss her,” Assistant State’s Attorney Eve Reilly said, “and she bit off a large portion of his tongue.”

The man ran to the kitchen sink. Cook followed, prosecutors say, and placed the chunk of mouth meat in her hand and tossed it on the kitchen counter. Nonchalantly, I’m sure. Dude put the severed tongue in a bag of ice and called 911.

Cook’s been booked on charges of aggravated domestic battery.

Unfortunately for the boyfriend, due to an “inadequate blood supply,” the tongue could not be reattached.…

Emilio MendozaStamford, Connecticut — Emilio Mendoza, 27, apparently hates getting told what to do. And who doesn’t after moving out of your parents house!?

According to police, on Feb. 11th, Mendoza’s cousin/roommate, Ruiz Clemente-Pérez, asked him to turn the music down because he had to go to work in the morning. Oh, hell no! You are NOT going to mess with his jam. Mendoza then proceeded to punch Pérez in the head, police say.

At some point during the brawl, Mendoza allegedly bit Pérez’s left ear, tearing part of his earlobe off. Stamford Police Sgt. Richard Barbagallo told the press that an intoxicated Mendoza then swallowed the chunk of ear meat. No longer an empty stomach? Can keep on drinking.

Mendoza alleges that Pérez threw the first punch.

Pérez was hospitalized with a broken nose and fractured eye socket. Sadly, he also never made it to work the next morning since he was charged with third degree assault.

Mendoza’s bail was set at $100,000, and he was charged with first-degree assault, interfering with police, forgery and disorderly conduct.…

Matthew StrawnPORTSMOUTH, VA – Police in Portsmouth have charged 21-year-old Matthew Wayne Strawn with biting his 11-day-old son while the newborn was in an intensive care unit.

According to the reports, police officers were called to the Portsmouth Naval Medical Center on Feb. 1 for a report of possible abuse. Staff at the Naval Medical Center informed them that the newborn was with Strawn in a private hospital room away from the NICU so they could spend some time alone together and bond.

Sometime between 1:30 a.m. and 2:30 a.m., hospital staff said when they went into the room to check on Strawn and his son they noticed that the infant had visible contusions to his back and face. They immediately removed the newborn and called police.

After police interviewed Strawn, investigators believed he had bitten his son. Strawn was subsequently arrested and charged with one count of felony child abuse and one count of felonious assault. Strawn is currently free after being released from jail on a personal recognizance bond.

A restraining order was filed against Strawn, who works in an administrative position at the medical center, stating he is not allowed to get near his son.…

Daniel AnayaSante Fe, NM – Police have arrested 27-year-old Daniel Anaya after they say he broke into his ex-girlfriend’s home and bit off the tip of her big toe.

Police say that after Anaya broke into his ex’s apartment, he  begged her to let him smell her feet. When the woman refused Anaya’s request, he slammed her against a wall. When she tried to call police, he took the phone away from her and threw it.

Then, according to the arrest warrant,  the woman “begged him not to hurt her” as Anaya held her down, took off her socks and shoes, then proceeded to take bites out of her toenail and toe flesh with “a blank look on his face.

She was finally able to kick free and hobble to a neighbor’s house for help. Anaya had already fled the scene by time police arrived, but was picked up on Wednesday. Anaya is facing charges of burglary, false imprisonment, interference with communications and aggravated battery against a household member.

Anaya is a college student with no criminal record who works in the shoe department of a local Dillard’s.…


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