Clayton County, Georgia A couple of teachers have found themselves in a bit of hot water.  I guess it’s not such a good idea to post a love letter to your boyfriend’s FacebookFacebook when he works in the same building as you…along with his girlfriend. But that’s what happened at Rex Mill Middle School. Ebony sent her man a letter, it was intercepted by Chaka, and all hell broke loose in the hallway Monday during school. They yelled, smacks were thrown about, and the 7th and 8th graders in that school got a quick lesson from their family and consumer science teacher on the fine art of expressing one’s self. The school authorities were not enthused and once the officers were brought in, the brawling teachers were promptly arrested. [Read more...]

Mountain Home, Arkansas Armed with a face only a mother could love, a criminal past, and an axe, Jason Marshall pretty much fucked up his parole. Monday, police received a couple of distressed phone calls regarding a domestic disturbance, the second of which the victim stated she and her children were able to escape their abuser but needed medical attention. An ambulance was dispatched to intercept the patients, Elizabeth Marshall (41) and her 9-year-old son at an intersection and they were transported to a nearby hospital. [Read more...]

Richmond, California The homecoming dance took a horrible turn for a 15-year-old girl just prior to midnight FridayFriday reviews evening. When police drove up to Richmond High School about an hour after the dance had ended, they observed several young men fleeing the scene. Upon investigation, they found their 15-year-old victim unconscious and suffering from “different injuries indicating she had been assaulted.” The “assault” is believed to have been a gang rape that lasted for 2 hours. And if that isn’t bad enough, police say there is a high probability of there being video of the assault shot from cell phones. Those images were captured by a group of observers who refused to intervene in any way. [Read more...]

Long Bottom, Ohio Joseph Lemaster, 33-years old, must have decided upon a different approach to bonding with his 16-year-old daughter who visits him (rather visited him) on weekends. Instead of opting for catching a movie, chit-chatting across the kitchen table, or playing board games on the living room floor, Joseph allegedly got drunk and set the evening’s events in motion. According to police reports, his daughter attempted to leave his mobile home in a family car after an argument broke out. Daddy grabbed a .22-caliber rifle, shot her dog, then shot through the vehicle and struck her in the head. [Read more...]

Maury County, Tennessee It’s hard to say if James Tait was looking to be in the limelight again, if he was just so incredibly horny, or just plain stupid. I mention “limelight” because this is not the first time James’ name has gleaned attention. The first time was 4 years ago when he aimed his camera on his buddy, Kenneth Pinyan, as a horse was screwing the life out of him…literally. Kenneth died from a perforated colon. You’d think James would learn from those lessons but I suppose there’s just something so seductive about forcing a horse’s…hell, you get the picture. [Read more...]

Houston, Texas I hung out with some pretty heavy drinkers in my younger days. It was always quite a treat walking into a bar with someone who had obviously had a tremendous time the night – or even week – before. No sooner than we’d walk into the establishment, my buddy would be greeted with, “Oh man, do you remember when you_____?”  (Fill in the blank and those fill-ins were never flattering.)  Watching the happy-go-lucky face turn to complete horror was always amusing – mainly because it didn’t involve me. If I had my druthers, I’d much rather be informed by friends or acquaintances and I’d much rather hear the news when I was fully functioning than to be awakened by the police telling strange accounts of where I ended up and with whom. [Read more...]

Burlington, Vermont How many of you dreamt of flying when you were younger? Even better, how many of you actually tried to fly? I think the fantasy was always fueled by cartoons (in my day) and stuntmen with my children. HollywoodHollywood reviews always makes things look so easy and always manage to trick the mind. Unless you’ve seen the making of a movie, you never see the landing platforms below. You just see some idiot jumping from the top of a building, landing smoothly, and walking away as though it were as natural as breathing in and out. It’s not, I can tell you that for sure. Even with a belly full of booze, jumping out of a high window is never really a cool idea – I tried it in college. But the alcohol and the fit of laughter kind of made our legs a bit unstable so it was nothing for them to revolt mid air and say “fuck you” as we were plummeting to the ground. But what happens when you’re all tense and you “need” to get away from say…the police? Ask John Hawley. His attempt at flying or fleeing didn’t pan out so well when the police foiled his alleged robbery attempt. [Read more...]

Lititz, Pennsylvania FacebookFacebook, the social networking site, started as a spin-off of Harvard University’s Facemash. The creator, a little buzzed and a little bummed about being dumped by some chick, set out to divert his attention from her to something a bit more entertaining. What started as a prank has grown into the most widely used social site on the internet. The only requirements for signing up are to be at least 13 years old and have a valid email address. Being a little hesitant in jumping into the Facebook pool, I finally gave in when a friend urged me to sign up. It’s a quick and relatively painless way to keep up with family and friends. I can recall reading the status of one of my contacts that said: “My father has joined Facebook!” That’s sweet, but it’s not always that thrilling to have your parents create an account and “friend” you. Take it from a certain 13-year-old. Her father found her on Facebook after having no contact with her for 10 years and then found himself faced with a couple of charges, one being criminal attempted incest. [Read more...]

Las Cruces, New Mexico Have you ever had a day where you just couldn’t hold onto anything? I’ve often heard it referred to as the “dropsy’s”. And I’ve been plagued many times with this rather frustrating phenomenon. It’s almost as though I’ve coated my hands with some release coat crap for machinery or baby oil mixed with sudden paralysis of my working digits. If you’re anything like me, this occurrence is often followed with broken shit, a splattered mess, a sudden onset of a string of obscenities, and a pulled butt-muscle or two as the strain of keeping the objects air-born (and hopefully back into control) becomes so uncontrollable and your body bends and freezes in unnatural poses. But I can tell you, even though I’ve broken a shit-load of nice china due to the dropsy’s, not once…ever…have I ever had that happen while handling a child. Poor Russ Church cannot say the same. [Read more...]

Ashland, Illinois is a sleepy little town of 1300 people smack dab in the middle of corn and bean fields; you know, Settlement Americana, Littletown, USA? The kind of place where the major events were the weekly livestock auctions, which proved to be exciting only when the occasional cow would cut loose and bolt down the street followed by a bunch of young boys and girls donning spurs on their cowboy boots making one hell of a racket as I was sleeping off the night before. The kind of town you’ve all heard about, full of those willing to lend a helping hand, give you a polite smile as you walk by. I know it well. I lived in the only funeral home it had. [Read more...]

Kermit, West Virginia “Unusual to see a refrigerator laying flat in the bed of a truck. You have to stand them up if you want to use them later, and that’s the only thing that caught all of our eyes,” states a co-worker – a guard at a coal company where Roger Stroud worked. They state Roger signed in at the guardhouse and then 31 minutes he split. Perhaps he was just stupid and didn’t know to stand that fridge upright. Perhaps he had purchased his lovely wife a new home and was moving things in to surprise her at suppertime. This may have all made sense had she not wanted a divorce and had he not used that cumbersome appliance as a means to hide her body. [Read more...]

Apple Valley, California Growing up, birthday parties were a big thing, both having them and going to them. The endless silly games that are played from ‘pin the tail on the ass’ to ‘telephone’. (You know, everyone sits in a circle, an adult whispers something to the first child and they’re to repeat it to the next. By the end of the circle the message is never the same. Kind of like a bunch of adults I know repeating gossip) But as children grow older the parties kind of wane. I mean, what kind of games do you play with a bunch of 14-year-olds? After the sweet-sixteen party, the 17th birthday is a pretty big let down. Nothing really exciting to do for that one. That is unless you’re the daughter of Glenn Nottle. He gave his daughter the memories of a lifetime for her birthday. A little gunfire, some throwing stars, a little pipe bomb…. [Read more...]

Boston, Massachusetts It’s all fun and games until someone loses and eye. It reminds me of a scene from an old cult classic “Where The Buffalo RoamWhere the Buffalo Roam reviews“, a movie written as a loose depiction of Hunter S. Thompson’s rise to fame as an author. In the movie, Thompson and his “attorney” Lazlo are in some undisclosed Latin American country and there’s some illegal arms trading occurring when one idiot picks up an automatic weapon and looses complete control shooting up the place. When the shooting frenzy has ended and the dust settles, his associate is fighting holding back his laughter when the maniac who can’t handle a gun beats him to the ground. And as soon as he is grounded, his buddy starts smothering him with affection and aid, truly remorseful for his actions. He almost sounds like Rhys Williams, and EMT, who shot up a couple of dudes and then administered help. [Read more...]

Uniontown, Pennsylvania How about this? You’re an 80-year-old man having problems with the ATM. It happens, right? The sun is shining on the screen – hell, I have trouble. And lucky for this elderly gentleman, Shannon Fisher, a cute little 25-year-old, offered her assistance. Once the machine spit out Ike Rogers $500 bucks, his heroine allegedly took the money and ran. How rude, robbing a poor old man of his retirement money. But luck was really on Mr. Roger’s side as witnesses chased her down, actually jumping out of vehicles to head her off, when she disappeared inside a building. The police were called and she was arrested. But hey, where did that money go? They checked her pockets and stuff… According to the criminal complaint, police retrieved $240 and a half of a $20 dollar bill from her vagina during the initial search and after she used the restroom, the rest of the money was retrieved. Do the young kids not know money goes in the bra? And where the hell is the other half of the $20? Police are quite baffled about how she stuffed the money so quickly. I think she practices A LOT. She was charged with robbery, theft, and receiving stolen property. Anyway, too bad Mr. Rogers didn’t smell anything fishy at first. I’m sure he does now. [Read more...]