CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. – Early Tuesday morning, 4-year-old Hayden Wright grabbed a 12-ounce beer from his grandfather’s cooler and walked out of his house while his mother slept. He then knocked on a neighbors door with part of the beer consumed. What was discussed between the boy and the people who opened the door is not known, but what is known is that Hayden then snuck into a neighbor’s house through an unlocked front door, and stole five wrapped Christmas gifts. One of the gifts contained a little girl’s dress which Hayden then put on. And that’s how police found the little boy wandering the neighborhood at 2 a.m. – drunk and wearing a dress. His mother, 21-year-old April Wright, has an explanation for her boy’s actions. Wright says Hayden was only out trying to find his dad who is in jail. “He runs away trying to find his father,” she said. “He wants to get in trouble so he can go to jail because that’s where his daddy is.…Continue Reading
Shawnee, OK- I’ll admit, I never have been what you would call a thrill-seeker. My life is utterly boring compared to most. I am not a big fan of roller-coasters. Extreme sports like rock climbing and paragliding scare the crap out of me. And I sure as hell will never freaking ever jump from a tall structure with an elastic cord tied around my ankles. Call me a chicken-shit. I don’t care. I’m just not a risk-taker. Mindy Renee Jones seems to be one, though. Except Mindy believes drinking and driving is a way to have a pretty good time. I think she’s just plain stupid and she is just another bitch who proves that not all beauties are equipped with brains. …Continue Reading
Waterbury, CT – Anna Bambino just wanted a little bit of lovin’ and wasn’t afraid to ask for it. Maybe she was a bit too forward (or desperate?) about it because she has been charged with breach of peace. It seems she called a woman at least 6 times and demanded sex. Not just any old sex. She wanted a little three-way action with the married woman and the lady’s husband. Rather than allow the hambeast in to their home and boudoir, they called the cops. When confronted, Bambino admitted to making the calls to the woman who was a “friend of a friend”. She claims she was drunk at the time. Her most current MySpace has been deleted but I’m willing to bet the source article got that picture of her before it was taken down. On it she had listed her interests as paranormal activity and ghost hunting. Maybe she could blame her actions on demonic possession rather than MD 20/20. …Continue Reading
Manchester, New Hampshire — Kathleen Butts, 37, has been charged with aggravated DWI and endangering the welfare of a child after she was found passed out in a snowbank outside of the Alpha Bits Daycare where she had picked up her 2 and 4-year-old kids. Butts had picked up her kids at around 5 Thursday, but at around 7, a maintenance worker found her outside the daycare passed out in a snowbank next to her car, with the car doors still open and her two children inside. Lots of questions being asked including if the daycare should be charged with handing the kids over to Butts, as well as how come no one noticed Butts in the snow for over 2 hours. Butts refused to take a breathalyzer at the scene, but later admitted to the cops that she had been drinking prior to picking up her kids. The two children were taken to the hospital for observation and are currently in the custody of family members.…Continue Reading
Louisville, KY – We’ve all done it – you get a drink or two past tipsy and do something to make a total ass of yourself, guaranteeing that you will be the butt of many future jokes. You know what I’m talking about, you get all obliterated on Mad Dog, get nekkid and cover yourself in peanut butter and raisins, arm yourself with a machete and an ice cream scoop and run through the neighborhood screaming “Where’s the beef?” just one friggin’ time and people just can’t seem to let it go. We’ve all done it at least once, right? Right? And speaking of drunken antics, please allow me to introduce old stink-face, William Cope Jr. After imbibing on who knows what for who knows how long, Cope found himself at a Kroger store. After urinating in one of the aisles, Cope found his way to the meat department where he opened up a few boxes of licorice candy, some cornbread stuffing, and several packages of steaks. When an officer approached and asked him what the hell he was doing, Cope, a slab of raw meat in each hand, answered, “Checking the texture of meat.” (After looking at that stink face mug, I can literally hear this guy in my head and it sounds more like this: ”Chicking zee texture of zee mit, you foo!”) Cope, who is also a registered sex offender, was arrested and charged with public intoxication.…Continue Reading
Cushing, OK – Donna Jackson called 911 early Friday morning to report that she was home alone and a crazy drunk-sounding guy was screaming threats at her and attempting to break into her home. The 57-year-old woman informed the would-be burglar that she was on the phone with police, and she also mentioned that she was armed. (Donna was packin’ a 16-gauge shotgun). That wasn’t much of a deterrent – he was still outside, trying to get in. He kept yelling something about his truck and kept calling for someone named Pat. Donna begged dispatch to get someone out there post haste – she didn’t want to shoot the man, but by god, she would if necessary. “They need to hurry. He’s going to break this thing open. When he does, I’ll have to kill him and I don’t want to kill him,” she told the dispatcher. “I don’t want to have to kill this man, but I’ll kill him graveyard dead ma’am.” Ha! I love this lady. …Continue Reading
Eau Claire, WI - Nothing will kill a good buzz quicker than some blunt force trauma and a knife to the chest – wouldn’t you agree? Old pals Wayne Rouillard, 62, and Stephen Dalstrom, 61, were just hangin’ out, sharing a bottle of vodka, and catching up last Saturday when things went to shit in a hurry. According to Rouillard, the two were getting along just fine when, out of the blue, Dalstrom “went berserk and attacked him.” Rouillard alleges that his friend attempted to stab him with an ice pick or a screwdriver. So, Rouillard whacked his friend in the head with a claw hammer. That wasn’t the end of it – Rouillard also allegedly stabbed Dalstrom in the chest with a knife and tied his ankles to a work bench so “he would not be able to come after him if he woke up,” before beating his brains out with a wood-splitting maul. Ummm, can you say ‘overkill?’ …Continue Reading
Indianapolis, IN - Speaking of tools, here’s another one. Donald Crawford made a complete ass of himself early Tuesday morning when he was forced to call 911 because he was so shit-faced he couldn’t find his fully loaded 18-wheeler. Stupid, yes – but, that’s not what earned him a spot here on the Dreamin’ Demon. No – he rightfully earned his spot because he left his 5-year-old son alone in said semi, in a high-crime area with the doors unlocked and keys in the ignition, so he could sneak away for a drink and a few lap dances. And, the asshat was booted from the strip club because he didn’t pay for those lap dances. Ahhhh – you gotta love the smell of fail first thing in the morning. Surveillance video shows Crawford walking into the Sassy Kats strip club and getting a drink before heading to the back of the club where he received three private lap dances. About 24 minutes later, he was escorted out by a bouncer.…Continue Reading
COQUILLE, OREGON – Drugs and alcohol played a role in an argument between two brothers that left one dead from being stabbed with a sword. Just after 2:30 a.m Sunday, police were called to the trailer where the two men lived and found Lee Edwin Wallace, 38, semi-conscious with a stab wound to the side. He was transported to the hospital, but was pronounced dead later that morning. His brother, Nathan Wallace, 41, was arrested for murder and possession of methamphetamine. A story about meth, a trailer and a sword? I’m shocked. I did shoot my brother in the head with a pellet gun once. It was a total accident.…Continue Reading
Marion, IA - Allow me to introduce Kristine Pflughaupt (gesundheit). Ms. Phisoderm Pflughaupt is gracing the pages here at the Dreamin’ Demon for a number of reasons – that awesome last name, her cheerful mugshot, drunken hyjinx, and because she’s a big fan of noodles. It has been reported that on November 3, a resident on Ms. Farfegnugen Pflughaupt’s mail route called police to complain that she had a strange mail carrier, in uniform and carrying a mail bag, sitting on the floor in her kitchen noshin’ on some left-over noodles. The homeowner, 95-year-old Marie O’Kelly, said she was watching TV in her living room when she heard a noise – she assumed it was her daughter coming for a visit, but grew suspicious when she didn’t receive a greeting from the girl. When she went to investigate the strange noise, she found Ms. Flobbernotten Pflughaupt sitting on the kitchen floor, eating noodles with her bare hands. “The noodles were running down her shirt. I asked her, ‘What are you doing here?’ She didn’t answer – she just kept eating those noodles.” Yum. …Continue Reading
Iowa City, IA - How inebriated must one be to feel that it is kosher to just drop trou’ and discharge a few ass apples in a public venue? I’m guessing one would have to have a B.A.C. somewhere in the vicinity of .24, give or take, and an IQ in that same general area. Demonites, please meet Mr. Robert E. Lee. Mr. Lee here allegedly entered a CVS Pharmacy Friday evening, ambled his way up front, lifted his shirt, dropped his pants, and dumped a load of sphincter spears. Then, without even bothering to wipe or wash, Mr. Lee walked out of the store. Ummm…ew? When the cops caught up with the butt nugget bandit, the slurred speech and aroma of alcohol gave him away. (Not to mention the .24). Mr. Lee, 57, was charged with fifth-degree criminal mischief and public intoxication – both misdemeanors. The store manager who reported the incident told police it would cost less than $200 to clean up the mess. (And a drawing of straws between employees, I’d imagine).…Continue Reading
– On Halloween night, Oxford police officer pulled over 20-year-old James Miller for finding him driving the wrong way down a one-way street with no headlights. As the officer approached Miller was observed stuffing chewing gum in his mouth. He was also wearing an awesome breathalyzer costume. Miller told the officer he had not been drinking that night, but cops found an open beer in the console of his car and beers in the front seat as well as the trunk. Turns out that Miller was almost two times the legal limit, sporting a blood alcohol level of .15. Miller was cited on charges including operating a vehicle while intoxicated, underage possession of alcohol, having an open container and a fake ID, and a one-way street violation. Click on to see him in costume.… Continue Reading
Clark County, Wisconsin — Mary Strey, 49, started drinking earlier in the day and after visiting different bars around Neilsville, she had consumed seven or eight brandy and Cokes. But this didn’t stop her from getting behind the wheel of her car and attempt to drive home. But she didn’t make it there as police caught up with her after someone called 911 to report her. They found her parked on the side of the road and officers reported that her speech was slurred,, she stumbled, was swaying back and forth and could not perform the tests. Her blood alcohol level was 0.17. The odd thing about this story is the 911 caller who turned her in. It happened to be Mary Strey herself. After the jump, you can listen to the 911 call in which Strey called to report herself. Which is kinda classic as it includes this exchange:
Dispatch: You behind them?
Mary Strey: No, I am them.
Dispatch: You am them?
Mary Strey: Yes, I am them.
Dispatch: Okay, so you want to call and report you’re driving drunk?…
Claremore, OK – With friends like Preston Dohrer, you might want to think about a life insurance policy. Or, hey, how about a whole new class of friends? As is evident in Preston’s Myspace pictures, he likes to party. And set shit on fire. And, as is evident with his dead friend, Michael Duke, Preston also likes to play with guns. Emergency personnel were called to Preston’s residence at about 1:45 Saturday morning. When they arrived, they found 20-year-old Michael laying on the living room floor bleeding out of the gunshot wound to his forehead. Seems the boys had been drinking that night and horsin’ around a bit. Witnesses told police the two were involved in a bit of “horseplay” and were “playing around with each other and playing with knives.” Sounds like a rip-roaring good time to me! Let me grab my Ginsu! A witness to the horseplay told officers that Preston walked into his bedroom, returned to the living room, pointed a pistol at Michael’s head, and pulled the trigger.…Continue Reading
Goldsboro, North Carolina — Michael Earl Ricks, 47, has been convicted of armed robbery, common law robbery and writing worthless checks. He has recently been released from prison and luckily, Mary McDuffie and Christy Hughes let him come live with them in the trailer they rented. After a few hours of drinking, the two women got into an argument with Ricks and threatened to kick him out. Ricks became upset and took a trip to his employer, Best Sand and Gravel, and returned with a front-end loader bulldozer. While one of the women was on the phone with 911, Ricks used the bulldozer to destroy the trailer. You can listen to the moment he hit the trailer here. After he was done with the trailer, he then chased the two women as they ran to their landlord’s home. The women were not injured, and Ricks was arrested at the scene. He is being held under a $1,500 bond at the Wayne County jail on Monday, charged with damage to real property.…Continue Reading
Sheboygan, Wisconsin – I’m not sure how many of you watch COPS or not, but for those of you who do, it is a well known fact that police do not give a shit about your stage of dress (or undress) when they haul your ass to jail. If they decide to get your naked ass a pair of shorts or not is really depending on how big of an asshole you are, as well as the cop you asking to get them. Julia Laack, 36, found this out when she attempted to disrobe to keep cops from taking her to jail after she got busted for shoplifting beef jerky and a lighter from a gas station. But naked or not, Julia was not going without a fight.…Continue Reading
Charleston, SC – Dash cam footage has been made public detailing City Council Member, Deborah Morinelli, after she drove her SUV into a ditch. The footage shows police removing a bunch of mini-bottles of wine (or as Jaded likes to call them – breakfast) from the vehicle. More disturbing than that is the footage of Morinelli as she wallows in a ditch, drunk off her ass. She attempts to stand several times, but cannot and eventually the police and rescue workers have to carry her. She was charged with driving under the influence and open container in a motor vehicle. She pleaded guilty and had to pay fines that total more than $2,500. Morinelli represents District 2 since 2002 but announced she will not be running for re-election. Watch the video after the jump to see why.…Continue Reading
BETHLEHEM, Pa – Twin brothers, both aged 56, had a history of alcohol abuse and drunk driving. But not any longer. Last month the brothers were attending Celtic Fest, and Thomas was trying to help his drunk brother parallel park a minivan. For some drunken reason, Timothy lost control of the vehicle and ended up crushing Thomas’ leg in between the van and a parked SUV. Thomas died 8-hours later. Timothy failed the sobriety test at the scene and it was later revealed he had a blood-alcohol level of .20. Even though Bethlehem police Capt. David Kravatz says Timothy Willgruber was “devastated” after the accident and family members say the brothers were best friends, homicide charges were expected – but now that wont be necessary. Timothy hung himself on Tuesday.… Continue Reading
Ocala, FL - I love Floriduh. You couldn’t pay me to live there, but I love it nonetheless. During my time here at the Dreamin’ Demon, Florida has provided me with many entertaining, sometimes gag-inducing stories. And this one, well, that would fall into the gag-inducing category. Please allow me to introduce 41-year-old Venus Lewis. Cute, ain’t she? Ms. Lewis enjoys football, tag, alcohol, and younger men. Much younger men. While attending a teen football game at the E.D. Croskey Recreation Center last Saturday, Venus allegedly initiated a rousing game of tag with a couple of teen boys. She laid out the rules: “If I catch ya, I’m gonna have sex with ya.” Simple enough. And I’m sure those lads ran their little legs right off!! (Personally, if Venus was playing that game with me, you can guaran-fucking-tee I would have set a new world land speed record). Weary from the chase, Venus took a breather and chose that little break in the fun and games to drop trou’ and plug her flow hole with a tampon.…Continue Reading
MADEIRA BEACH, Florida – This is a story I am only posting because of one line in the article by Brant James that simply stated, “Then he started throwing sea creatures”. For some reason, this line cracked me up and has made my day. 41-year-old Keith Edward Marriott is facing charges of disorderly intoxication and carrying a concealed weapon because of his bizarre behavior at the beach. Pinellas County sheriff’s deputies said Marriott repeatedly pretended to be drowning and then float to the surface, “causing concern for his safety,” and was “loud and disruptive,” according to a sheriff’s report. Then he started throwing sea creatures. Or more specifically, he started throwing jellyfish at some teenagers. Marriott was being held at Pinellas County Jail in lieu of $250 bail. I love obnoxious drunks.…Continue Reading