Perkins Township, OH — A woman in Ohio was allegedly driving drunk when she thought a police car had pulled in behind her and turned on its lights. She pulled her car over and got it stuck in a snow bank before realizing the “cop” was actually a flashing sign for Skate World.
She told this to a motorist who stopped to help, who in turn called police to report the stuck car and the fact that the driver, Nicole Scott, was highly intoxicated.
When police arrived, they found Scott sitting in her car alone smelling like Jaded on a Tuesday night at the bowling alley. When police got her out of the car she was unable to stand on her own and had to be held up by one of the police officers. They found a half-full cold Michelob Ultra beer in her car.
Scott refused a sobriety test, stating she was not the one driving. She told police her friend Ray was the driver but that he had run off.…Continue Reading
The teen told deputies her mother had been drunk and acting “out of her head” since Friday. She added that her phone rang several times while she was at school, and when she answered, her mother was on the other end “talking out of her head.” She said she told her mother to quit calling, but Stiles continued.
When the girl returned home from school on Tuesday, she said Stiles began yelling at her and four other juveniles in the home for unknown reasons. After being screamed at for several hours, the kid got fed up and called 911.
Deputies say they arrived at the residence to find Stiles belligerent and intoxicated. She allegedly, “could not understand why the Sheriff’s Office was called, could not follow instructions and was talking in circles about unrelated issues.”
Stiles allegedly denied drinking alcohol, stating she was taking several prescription narcotics for various medical issues.
Louisville, KY – After an evening of imbibing at the Club 21, 50-year-old Marie Reeves decided it was a fine time to get herself tatted. At about 1:00 Tuesday morning, a drunken Reeves stumbled across the street to the Ink Style Tattoo Studio and demanded some ink.
The tattoo artist refused to work on the woman, claiming she was too intoxicated to give the necessary informed consent for the procedure, and told her to come back when she wasn’t shitfaced. This displeased Reeves. A lot.
Pissed, Reeves reportedly jumped into her vehicle, aimed for the parlor’s front entrance and hit the gas. The artist who denied her later told police that Reeves backed the vehicle up and attempted to hit him, but he was able to dive out of the way.
Her next stop was the Saint Stephens Cemetery. That’s where police say she mowed down seven gravestones and broke her ride. Her vehicle disabled, Reeves called for a taxi. She directed the cabbie to a local hotel where she said she was staying with a friend, and ultimately stiffed him.…Continue Reading
Phoenix, AZ — Police say an 11-year-old girl was severely and brutally beaten by a family member just moments after being sexually assaulted by that family member’s friend. Arrested was 34-year-old Jon Gary – a man police say has raised the child since she was an infant.
According to authorities, Gary witnessed his adult friend sexually assaulting the child on January 10. The friend accused of molesting the child later told police that Gary ordered the girl into her room and hit him once before retreating to the kid’s bedroom to kick her ass. The alleged rapist told police he left the home after Gary pointed a gun at him.
The victim, who ultimately spent 6 days in ICU, doesn’t remember anything before the beating other than drinking some “some soda that tasted funny.” She does remember Gary kicking, punching and stomping her until she lost consciousness. She was hospitalized with a liver laceration, a right adrenal gland hemorrhage, an acute 11th rib fracture, a concussion, an acute vaginal injury, and multiple bruises.…Continue Reading
Cherokee County, GA — The barely legal cutie to the left is 18-year-old Jeremiah Gossett – he was taken into custody early Wednesday morning after reportedly stabbing his best friend in the neck while attempting to hypnotize him.
According to police, Gossett and his friend, 19-year-old James Stanley, had been hanging out, drinking and smoking pot, when Gossett asked Stanley if he could hypnotize him. Stanley agreed to play along and closed his eyes in preparation. Right about then, he felt a sharp pain in his neck. Stanley told investigators he opened his eyes and saw Gossett holding a knife.
Gossett didn’t stick around long after that – police said he ran from the residence and attempted to kill himself by slashing his wrists with the same knife. He failed to do much damage…both men were transported to the hospital with minor injuries.
Gossett was arrested after being released from the hospital, charged with aggravated assault, and is currently in custody on $22,200 bond. With those looks, the kid had better keep a real tight hold on the soap……Continue Reading
Lexington, NC – Lonnie Michael Felts, 42, was arrested Sunday and charged with abuse of the Davidson County 911 emergency system after repeatedly dialing 911 to request a hooker.
According to authorities, Felts called 911 three separate times on Sunday. The first time he called, Felts reportedly requested “a hooker and an escort to get boots.” An officer was dispatched to the bobblehead’s home to school him on the consequences of misusing the 911 system. Not that you could tell by looking at him or anything, but Felts just might be a slow learner.
A second call was placed to 911. In that call, Felts requested the number to the county jail. He was again warned not to use 911 for non-emergency calls. His persistence failed to pay off – after his third call, and a repeated request for a hooker, Felts was shackled and hauled off. He remains behind bars on a $2,000 secured bond. Police believe drugs/and or alcohol may have been a factor in Felts’ behavior.…Continue Reading
Big Coppitt Key, FL – Richard Gervasi, a 43-year-old Pennsylvania resident, was arrested early Sunday morning after police say he was running nekkid through traffic on US 1 after combining LSD and alcohol.
Police were called to Bobalu’s Restaurant at about 1:30 a.m., after receiving a report of a butt-nekkid crazy man on the premises. Police arrived on scene to find three men in the restaurant parking lot – one of them reportedly being attacked by a nude Gervasi. When ordered to cease and desist with the attack, Gervasi allegedly turned and ran toward the deputy, ignoring her orders to stop. The female deputy deployed her Taser, but that apparently had little effect as Gervasi just plucked the prongs from his skin and continued toward her. Another deputy zapped him, dropping Gervasi to the ground. He was soon up and moving again, this time, heading for the other two men in the parking lot.
Meanwhile, back-up arrived and Gervasi was zapped yet again. The third time was the charm. Handcuffed and in the back of an ambulance, Gervasi continued to put up a fight, telling paramedics he was made of steel…king of the world even.…Continue Reading
Las Cruces, NM – Remember that post I made last month about the woman who reportedly had her nipple ripped off by her mother-in-law? For the click impaired, let me rehash: A woman, her son and his wife were all hanging out gettin’ fuggered up last month when shit got a bit tense. Mom and son started arguing, daughter-in-law jumped in between, mother-in-law grabs hold of daughter-in-law’s boob and only releases her grip after being repeatedly punched in the face. Husband and wife make psycho monster-in-law vacate the premises. A short time later, daughter-in-law feels wetness on her chest. She lifts her tank top and said nipple falls onto floor. She retrieves the nipple and places it in a plastic baggie. After contemplating what to do for a few hours, the victim finally decides to head to the emergency room. Anyway, an arrest has been made. On Tuesday, 46-year-old Amelia Oveide is expected to be charged with aggravated battery causing great bodily harm, simple battery and breaking and entering – because she allegedly kicked in the back door after being thrown out of the apartment.…Continue Reading
CONCORD TOWNSHIP, Ohio — Christopher Beller, 48, allowed his son to throw a New Year’s Eve at his home even providing alcohol for his son’s underage friends to drink. One of people at the party was a 14-year-old girl who, like most 14-year-old girls, was not able to handle her alcohol. At around 5 a.m. several guests at the party told police they witnessed Beller having sex with the highly intoxicated girl in his bedroom. This led to Beller getting into a fight with his son while others took the girl, who was barely responsive, out of the home and call police. Talk about awkward. Beller was arrested and jailed on rape and domestic violence charges. His bond was set at $25,000. This is one of those underage drinking nightmares some of you should show your young daughters. Bad enough some horny teenage boy may try and take advantage of them after they make a bad judgement call, but they need to know that getting too intoxicated could also lead to them waking up in a bed with the dick of their friend’s father shoved in their ass.…Continue Reading
HARTFORD, CT –Police arrested 19-year-old Francheska Terrero after responding to a 911 call early Christmas Eve where a woman told police their daughter was assaulting her father with a Christmas tree. When police arrived at the home they found a very drunk, very belligerent Terrero at the scene along with a Christmas tree on its side with broken ornaments scattered around the room. The teen’s mother told police that Terrero had even taken the cell phone she used to call 911 out of her hand and threw that at her father as well. Terrero was arrested, facing charges of assault, disorderly conduct, and interfering with a 911 call. Her parents received some minor injuries at the hands of their drunken daughter. To be completely honest, the only only reason why I am even wasted any time with this dumbass story is because I like posting about drunk teenage girls and the fact that Terrero is sporting about five different hairstyles at one time.…Continue Reading
Las Cruces, NM — Police are searching for an unidentified 44-year-old woman who they say ripped her daughter-in-law’s nipple off during a drunken argument early Sunday morning. According to the 30-year-old victim, she, her husband, his mother and one of her husband’s friends had spent a good part of Saturday evening getting plastered. At some point after 3:00 a.m., mother and son started bickering. The victim, acting as a mediator, placed herself in between the two buzzkills as the argument intensified. And for her efforts, she was rewarded with the sickest, most twistiest titty-twister EVAR. The woman told police her mother-in-law grabbed her right breast and began to squeeze and pull on her nipple, releasing the bud only after the victim began punching her in the face. The struggle between the two women continued as the victim attempted to remove the older woman and her belongings from her apartment. At some point after the tussle, the victim felt fluid on her chest and noticed blood on her shirt. She told police that when she untucked her tank top, her nipple fell on the floor.…Continue Reading
IOWA CITY, Iowa — You know it’s a slow news day when I am reporting on the sentence handed to that idiot who got a puppy drunk last year. Maybe I should do a search on pit bull attacks. Anyway, 28-year-old Jared Colony was accused of encouraging a puppy to drink straight vodka he had poured into the dog’s water bowl back in October 2009. When the dog’s owner returned they found the 4-month-old Puggle named Pip, unresponsive, and barely breathing. “Pip’s just a little drunk right now,” Colony reportedly told the owner. Pip barely survived, spending two days at the vet in critical care. Colony was initially charged with animal abuse, a charge that could have gotten him two years, but has now agreed to plea guilty so he could get a 90-day jail sentence. He’ll also have to pay a $625 fine and nearly $2,500 to the dog’s owner.…Continue Reading
Columbus County, MS – Alison Simon was arrested over the weekend and booked on charges of aggravated domestic violence after she reportedly head-butted her 15-year-old daughter in the face. According to police, an intoxicated Simon, upset that her favorite football team got their ass whooped, returned home that evening and got into an argument with her daughter about her alleged alcohol consumption. Pissed that her mother was drunk, the ballsy kid started swinging, ultimately landing the first punch. Simon fought back, slamming her head into the girl’s face, knocking the girl on her ass and breaking her nose. Simon, 38, was hauled off to jail. As of Monday, her bond had not been set. I was hoping to read that the girl was outfitted with her own set of locking bracelets, but it doesn’t appear as if she was charged in the assault. Had I ever taken a swing at my mother, a broken nose would have been the least of my problems…they’d still be looking for my remains.…Continue Reading
LAGUNA BEACH, CA – Here’s another video showcasing 42-year old Christian Aparicio’s amazing driving skills. He was pulled over Saturday for suspicion of drunk driving and well, watch for yourself.
St. Albans, VT – Misty Smith, 34, is being held on $1 million bail for allegedly drugging, kidnapping and sexually assaulting three of her 11-year-old son’s friends. Smith was arrested on Wednesday after one of the alleged victims was reported missing by his parents. The 11-year-old boy was seen heading to Smith’s home after school Tuesday afternoon, and when he failed to show up at home, his parents and police canvassed the neighborhood. The boy’s parents visited Smith’s home and asked her three separate times if she had seen the boy – each time, Smith denied having any knowledge of his whereabouts. When an officer questioned Smith about the missing boy that evening, she played stupid once again. Hearing noises coming from an upstairs bedroom, the officer asked if he could take a look. In the bedroom, he found the missing boy and two other 11-year-old boys.
During an interview with the boys, detectives learned they routinely visited Smith’s home after school and were given cigarettes, marijuana, alcohol, pills that “made them hyper” and cocaine.…Continue Reading
Megan Duskey was a 23-year-old special education teacher who was attending the Haunted Hotel Ball at Chicago’s Palmer House Hilton Saturday night dressed as Silk Spectre from THE WATCHMEN. For reasons not reported, but probably because she was 23 and having fun, Duskey attempted slide down a banister on the hotel’s mezzanine level and lost her balance. She would be killed instantly after falling four stories to the basement level.
Duskey’s family released the following statement:
“Megan’s passing is a tragic loss to her family and friends. She was a caring, energetic person who was full of life and eager to help others and make a difference in the world.”
I feel for the family and reading stories like this make me reflect back on all the dumb shit I did in my 20s, amazed I even survived them and scared shitless thinking of my teenagers.…Continue Reading
Phoenix, AZ – A nanny has been arrested and charged with driving with a blood alcohol level nearly three times the legal limit while two kids she was taking care of, ages 2 and 8, were sitting in the backseat. The parents of the two children were out of town when their nanny, Nancy Ann Kline, took the children to a pool party. While there, Kline got sloshed. After she left the party with the kids unsecured in the backseat of the car, she struck another vehicle but left the scene. When police stopped her after clocking her at 65 in a 35, finding her in the possession of a water bottle full of vodka and blowing a blood alcohol level of .201, she resisted arrest. “They had to get physical with her, and this is all happening (while) she’s crying and screaming at the top of her lungs as my children are in the car watching and crying,” said the children’s mother, Robin Squires. She also admitted to feeling very betrayed by Kline.…Continue Reading
TOPSFIELD, Mass. – A man has been arrested and charged with shooting out the tires on a car driven by his girlfriend’s teenage son. On Wednesday evening, 41-year-old Mark Letellier returned home with his girlfriend to find that her 16-year-old son, who had been previously grounded, was not home. When he returned home from a friend’s house where he had been doing homework, he was confronted by Letellier who pulled out a firearm and shot out all four tires on the car to prevent him from driving. When police arrived they found a drunk Letellier, who had just recently moved into the home, explaining that the boy had broken curfew. He was arrested and charged with carrying a firearm without a license; assault by a dangerous weapon; malicious destruction of property over $250; discharging a firearm within 500 feet of a dwelling; carrying a firearm while intoxicated; possession of a firearm without a Firearm’s Identification Card; and intimidation of a witness. His bail isn’t high so he is probably out by now, much to the dismay of neighbors who worry for the boy and his younger sister’s safety. “He was over at our house [Wednesday] evening and he was doing his homework with my son.…Continue Reading
Cincinnati, Ohio – Police from seven jurisdictions had to be called out to a 3-year-old girl’s birthday party after her 26-year-old father got into an argument with her mother’s new boyfriend leading to a family feud amongst the 150 people in attendance. The fight escalated to the point that at least 75 guests were throwing chairs and beer bottles at each other. Once the dust had settled, fifteen people were injured with at least five hospitalized, one needing surgery for an eye injury caused by a beer bottle. The father of the girl was charged with disorderly conduct and four other party-goers may also face similar charges. A member of the Fraternal Order of Eagles, the group that had rented out their hall to the family, told reporters they may revisit their rental policies. Police feel alcohol was a major contributor to the events. I normally like guessing the race of the people involved with family brawl stories I plan on writing about, but got cheated with this one as the video thumbnail prominently features a broken Corona bottle.…Continue Reading
ENUMCLAW, Wash. – After leaving the Yella Beak Saloon where he and some friends had just celebrated his birthday, a young man hopped on his bike and began pedaling towards a nearby house to pick up his truck. At the same time, a 24-year-old man who had been at the same bar was driving with a passenger down the same road and accidentally struck the man on his bike, killing him. When the driver got out of his vehicle and realized he had just killed the man whose birthday party he just attended, he became so distraught that he got a gun out of his truck and killed himself alongside the road. Sgt. John Urquhart stated he believed the driver was under the influence of alcohol at the time of the accident. No names have been released that I could find, but I’ve included some video that shows the road that it happened on and the makeshift memorial that has been put up. …Continue Reading