Los Angeles, CA – The mugshot you are looking at is 42-year-old Lisa Robin Kelly, better known as Eric Foreman’s slutty sister from “That 70s Show.” She got herself arrested Saturday on a felony charge of corporal injury upon a spouse, and was released on $50,000 bail.
But not before taking the mugshot that has now gone viral because if there is one thing people love, it’s actually seeing a visual representation of another’s downward spiral.
In this case the visual representation is in the form of a mugshot, one in which a disheveled Kelly manages to put something that resembles a smile on her face. The kind of smile someone uses immediately before slicing off their own nipples and drowning their young in the bathtub.
After she was released, Kelly took to her Facebook page and began begging her “friends” for money, claiming she is being set up by her boyfriend who is attempting to ruin her acting career and is making money selling pictures of her to TMZ.
“I did nothing to hurt John Michas.…
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Valparaiso, IN - In an obvious bid to secure a place in the Guinness Book of World Records for drunkenness, a northwest Indiana man was apprehended by police with a blood-alcohol level of 0.552 percent – or roughly seven times the legal limit.
Police say that on Saturday afternoon, a woman reported seeing a man – later identified as James Henderson, 28 – laying on the side of a road. EMS noted that Henderson had several bruises and responding officers reported that Henderson made a “barely-coherent” statement about getting hit by a truck. Police have not yet confirmed whether Henderson was in fact struck by a vehicle.
Henderson faces public intoxication charges as soon as he is released from the hospital. If his release is pending sobriety, he may have some time yet…
It has been reported that Henderson has a ‘history of alcohol-related charges.’ Sadly, it appears that the positive side of his drunkenness has been underreported. Let’s hope that this achievement will change all of that.
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Chicago, IL - Police say a drunk driver was twice the legal limit when she struck and killed a man walking in a crosswalk early Saturday morning.
Bianca Garcia, 21, was intoxicated while speeding in a Jeep Liberty about 2:30 a.m. Saturday. Witnesses say they watched as Garcia lost control of the vehicle and struck 32-year-old Jesse Bradley in a crosswalk. Instead of stopping and helping the man, the drunken moron drove away. She was stopped a few blocks away after turning the wrong way on a one-way street.
Garcia refused to take field sobriety tests but admitted to police she’d been drinking in at least three bars before the accident. After being taken to the hospital it was determined she had a blood alcohol content of .168, more than double the legal limit.
While Bianca Garcia was refusing field sobriety tests, Bradley, a law student currently on leave from Northwestern University, was rushed to Northwestern Memorial Hospital where he was pronounced dead.
Garcia was charged with aggravated DUI resulting in death, DUI and reckless driving, ticketed for driving the wrong way on a one-way street and not having a driver’s license or insurance.…
Continue ReadingMan Calls 911 Because Wife Wouldn’t Let Him Browse Facebook Alone
March 23, 2012 at 1:49 pm by Rebekah Herzberg
Pasco, FL - A 57-year-old Florida man is facing charges after he called 911 to complain that his wife would not let him look at Facebook in peace.
Doyle Hardwick only wanted to check his Facebook without his wife sitting next to him, so he tried to get her to go to bed with beer. But after consuming eight of them, his wife didn’t feel like moving and Hardwick called 911.
Caller (CLR) “says him and his wife are sitting next to each other,” the 911 transcript reads. “CLR is upset because she won’t go to bed. Now they are bickering about who has been drinking. CLR has had 4 beers. Wife has had 8 beers. … CLR is upset because she wouldn’t let him look at Facebook peacefully.”
When police arrived at the couple’s home, 54-year-old Julie Hardwick let them in and directed them towards her husband who was still on the phone with 911. Doyle Hardwick told the deputy that his wife was supposed to go to sleep after he gave her the beers because that was their agreement.…
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Here, Now – Thanks to everyone who showed up to the 6th episode of the Pulpit of Doom Drunkcast to do some drinking with Morbid, Jaded, Athena and later in the show, Kniption — who was drunk long before he called in. You can listen to the episode here. For those unaware, the drunkcasts are like our Wednesday show, just infused with copious amounts of alcohol.
Gonna have to admit, I think this may have been the drunkest of shows and not your average crime related podcast. The show began showing signs of smoke with my very first sentence, a sentence that contained “um” not 30 seconds after I bet Jaded I would not use “um” in the entire podcast. Flames were spotted right around the time Jaded mentioned Captain Cunt, and reports of a fiery object falling from the sky started coming in right around the time Kniption called in and we began talking about eating your dead spouse.
Somewhere along the way, we discuss murder suicide in front of the kiddos, drunken Amish drag racing, Ouija boards and the people who believe the debil can make you do it, the deadly nature of a Jack in the Box breakfast sandwich, Kony 2012 and how everyone thinks they’re an activist with the click of a mouse, slipping into something a bit more comfortable inside your neighbor’s house, the horrible death of Tori Stafford, how our site may have scared some mothers into shoving their children back up their vaginas for protection, and much, much more.…
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Here, Now – Thanks to everyone who showed up to the 5th episode of the Pulpit of Doom Drunkcast to do some drinking with me, Jaded and Athena. You can listen to it here. The drunkcasts are like our Wednesday show, just infused with copious amounts of alcohol.
Because of the site issues we had yesterday stemming from my forgetting to re-register the dreamindemon.com domain name, I was drinking long before the show started and, man, does it show.
I think the slurring starts at the halfway mark as we discussed getting kicked off planes because of a toddler’s tantrum, teenagers caught on camera having sex with willing pit bulls, friends who will help you move a body, two women who turned a man into soup, the little-known dangers of Jewish blowjobs, creepy funeral home employees looking for love in all the wrong places and much, much more.
By the end of the show I’m pretty sure we were talking about large dildos. After we went off the air, we had a drunken conversation about God knows what — I refuse to go back and listen.…
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Iowa City, IA – Natasha Kriener, 26, turned herself in last week on child endangerment charges after doctors discovered her toddler had a BAC of .097.
The 22-month-old boy was apparently crying and unsteady on his feet when his father picked him up for visitation on February 15. Dad had the boy seen in the emergency room, and was more than likely expecting doctors to tell him the kid had an ear infection. Instead, doctors told the man the kid was sh*tfaced.
As previously stated, the 45-pound child’s BAC was .097 – the legal limit in the state of Iowa is .08.
When police made contact with Kreiner later that day, they learned she, too, was intoxicated. Police say Kreiner’s BAC was .251. And after failing to explain how her son got hold of the alcohol, one of her other children stepped up to the plate and told police the toddler “drank pop and got sick.”
Kriener is now being held in the Johnson County Jail in lieu of $ 20,000 cash-only bail.…
Continue ReadingTeen Killed After Getting Sick From Four Loko, Falling Out Of Car
February 22, 2012 at 9:49 am by Morbid
PARKVILLE, Md. - A 13-year-old boy died the other day after he fell out of a moving car and was struck by another vehicle. According to reports, he had opened the front passenger door to throw up, sick from having consumed Four Loko.
Michael Truluck’s mother says her son had spent Saturday afternoon with friends at a fast food restaurant and playing basketball. Just before 6 p.m. he texted her and asked for someone to come pick him and two friends up, so she sent her fiancee to get them.
What they didn’t know was that Truluck was sick from drinking Four Loko, which can be 12% alcohol, an unidentified adult had purchased for him. For those unaware, Four Loko is an alcoholic beverage that once contained caffeine and at one time was marketed as energy drinks. The company that produces it got into some legal issues that led to them removing the caffeine and to stop marketing the product as energy drinks.
Truluck’s friends say he had already thrown up twice before his mother’s fiancee arrived to pick him and his two friends up.…
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Denver, CO – As evident by Jaded’s reaction to Septic Flesh, certain people just don’t appreciate fine art. Some people in a Denver museum learned this as well when a drunken idiot stumbled in and tried to piss on a painting worth millions of dollars.
Police say that at around 3:30 p.m. on Dec 29, a heavily intoxicated Carmen Lucette Tisch showed her disdain for “1957-J-No. 2.,” a $30 million painting by Clyfford Still, by walking up to it and attacking it.
Witnesses say the 36-year-old scratched and hit the painting before dropping trou and putting her ass against it. That’s when she reportedly slid down the painting and began urinating.
Luckily, she did not successfully spray the 9 1/2 feet tall and 13 feet wide painting with her stank, but she did do an estimated $10,000 worth of damage and get slapped with a felony criminal mischief charge, which carries a maximum sentence of up to 12 years in prison.
Probably not much of a surprise, but this isn’t Tisch’s first run-in with the law. Charges of theft and armed robbery against her were dropped last month and in 2008 she was arrested on a complaint of driving under the influence.…
Continue ReadingMan Charged With Rape After Roommate Shoots At Mouse With Handgun
December 27, 2011 at 8:28 am by Morbid
TAYLORSVILLE, UT – A man in Utah proved to be one of the worst roommates ever when he decided to forgo a standard mousetrap and accidentally sent one roommate to the hospital with a hole in his chest, and sent another to jail for raping a 13-year-old girl.
Police were called to a home early Tuesday morning on a call of an accidental shooting. Once there they found a man suffering from a bullet wound to the chest. The 28-year-old had been accidentally shot by his 27-year-old roommate who had used a 9mm handgun to shoot at a mouse in the kitchen. The bullet had passed through the kitchen wall and hit the man while he was in the bathroom.
The wounded roommate was taken to the hospital in critical condition but later upgraded to stable. Police said alcohol played a role in the dumbassery. Normally the story would end there and it would have been a pretty good one, but there was one other idiot in the home doing something stupid that night.…
Continue ReadingTeen Blames DUI Crash On Boyfriend Not Taking Her To See ‘Twilight’
November 23, 2011 at 2:12 pm by Morbid
Illinois – Police arrested an 18-year-old drunk chick who crashed her car on Saturday because, according to police, she was upset over her boyfriend not taking her to see that crappy Twilight movie.
Olivia Ornelas, 18, was charged with drunken driving and unlawful consumption of alcohol by a minor after her car was found in a ditch at 12:04 a.m. Saturday morning. The car she was trying to drive while “extremely intoxicated” was missing a front right tire.
She reportedly told deputies that she had ended up in the roadside ditch because her boyfriend had upset her when he didn’t take her to see the new Twilight movie as planned.
I gotta commend the boyfriend if he bailed on this loopy broad on purpose as sometimes the vagina just isn’t worth the hassle. Hell, Sofía Vergara could ask me to go to the new Twilight movie and my immediate response would be me telling her to go f*ck herself.
I know, I know… it’s almost cliche to hate on Twilight. But I’m dead serious.…
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Salem, OR - Marion County, Oregon Sheriff’s were recently pressed into action after 911 callers reported a naked man engage in roadside masturbation. Deputies searching the area found footprints and a cellphone. …but no masturbator. After more time – and more 911 calls – a K9 unit was dispatched to scene.
It was reported that Deputy Jeff Stutrud and his dog, Renzo, conducted a search of the hazelnut orchard where the perpetrator was last reportedly seen. Renzo located the the man ‘about 12 feet up a tree wearing only tennis shoes,’ sheriff’s spokesman Don Thomson said.
Due to the 30-degree weather, Stephen James Frolov, 28 – who also goes by the name Stephen James Ellingsworth – was first given a blanket. He was then given formal charges of three counts of public indecency. Bail was set at $15,000
Investigators said that Frolov told them that he had been out drinking with friends the night before and didn’t know how he got to Duck Inn Road. Frolov also said that he didn’t know where his clothes were.…
Continue ReadingIntoxicated Woman Breaks Into Home, Eats Cookies, Falls Asleep
November 16, 2011 at 5:36 am by Jaded
Rockwell, NC — Don’t ya just hate it when you get all sh*tfaced, break into someone’s home, eat their cookies and fall asleep in their bed and the homeowner and the cops are all up in your face trying to kill your buzz with their questions and handcuffs? What? Don’t act like it’s never happened to you….
Anyway, 26-year-old Ashley Haithcock, my new BFF, knows what I’m talking about…she found herself in a similar situation Friday evening.
Police received a call from one Martha Birtch at about 10:00 Friday night. Birtch told police she had returned home to find her sliding glass door open and broken cookie jar in the kitchen. When she entered her home, she heard a woman’s voice coming from the direction of her bedroom. The voice belonged to Haithcock – she had apparently fallen asleep in Birtch’s bed after consuming the woman’s cookies.
Roused from her drunken slumber, an unhappy Haithcock apparently argued with Birtch and her daughter, and at some point, assaulted the younger Birtch.
She still had a bit of that piss and vinegar in her system when police arrived – she reportedly kicked three deputies when they attempted to speak to her.…
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Houston, TX – The obvious bid by Texas to become the new Florida is being strengthened by citizens like David Cruz. Cruz, 20, is in custody after reportedly abandoning passengers hurt in a car crash he caused but leaving with the beer. One of the passengers later died.
According to his passengers, Cruz was driving at a high rate of speed when he ran a light and crashed his four-door Hyundai around 1AM Halloween night. Two of the passengers – twin brothers Marion and Patrick Bock – were injured and bleeding. The third passenger – Anthony Story, 17 – was reported to be unconscious and seriously injured.
The Bock brothers said that they asked Cruz to stop but, instead, he drove another two miles. The Bocks said Cruz then grabbed four beer cans from the car and took off on foot. Police said Cruz ran to a friend’s apartment, where he changed clothes and told the friend he’d been involved in an accident. Investigators said that, even then, he still didn’t call for help.…
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BRIDGEPORT, CT – I was just about to write a story about a woman in Pennsylvania who abandoned her kid in a Taco Bell parking lot when I found an update on 29-year-old Juliette Dunn who Jaded posted about back in July. She and another woman have admitted to supplying beer and cocaine to Dunn’s 4-year-old son and 10-month-old daughter.
Dunn and 33-year-old Lisa Jefferson both plead guilty Wednesday to two counts of risk of injury to a child after an event that happened back in June. Police were flagged down by someone who informed them Dunn and Jefferson were at a playground with Dunn’s two young children. They said they watched Jefferson make Dunn’s 4-year-old son chug a bottle of beer. When he had finished, Jefferson allegedly called the boy an alcoholic.
When police approached the women there was an empty 40-ounce bottle of Steel reserve beer on the ground beside the boy and a baby bottle was next to the 10-month-old girl that contained a dark liquid that smelled like alcohol.…
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LOUISVILLE, Ky. — I was wondering when we would start getting our annual haunted house stories and 24-year-old Jessica K. Bottoms gets the honors of being the first. Her drunk ass got arrested after she punched an actor in a haunted house attraction.
According to arrest records, shortly after midnight Friday, Bottoms was drunk at the Haunted Hotel when she punched one of the employees and was observed by police grabbing on other attraction workers.
She was told to leave but she decided to eschew logic, like most drunks do, and became combative. She continued fighting with police even after she was restrained and arrested.
Bottoms was placed in jail on preliminary charges of misdemeanor charges of alcohol intoxication, disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. While I find nothing quite as aggravating as a belligerent drunk chick, at least she wasn’t a drunk cop.
Anyone else have any memorable experiences at a haunted house attraction? I never got scared at them as much as I got aggravated at people jumping out at me.…
Continue ReadingCouple Accused Of Leaving Foster Son At Cleveland Browns Game
September 28, 2011 at 9:01 am by Morbid
CLEVELAND — An Ohio couple have been charged with misdemeanor child endangerment after allegedly leaving their 9-year-old foster son at a Cleveland Browns game.
I can only go by news reports but if Anna and Earnest Fugate are guilty of what they have been accused of they both deserve a karate chop to the neck.
Police reports say the couple were with their foster son partying in the city’s Municipal Parking Lot before the Browns-Dolphins game on Sunday when they got into an argument.
Anna ended up smashing Earnest’s cell phone before smashing her own. Earnest then walked inside the stadium, leaving the boy with a highly intoxicated Anna who would hand the boy over to some strangers headed into the stadium.
Police were contacted who immediately began searching for the couple. They were not found in the parking lot, nor were they found in their seats inside the stadium.
The couple, stinking of alcohol, were finally pulled over as they tried to drive away from the lot. They told the officer that they just wanted to go home and didn’t inquire about the whereabouts of their foster kid.…
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LAGUNA NIGUEL, Calif. – A 44-year-old woman has been accused of throwing alcohol-infused parties for minors and having sex with the juvenile members of her son’s hockey team.
Police began investigating Katia Maria Davis after a boy under 16 told his mother that he had been slap shotting his biscuit between Katia’s pipes for over a year, and that she occasionally held sex-parties at her home.
During their investigation a second victim came forward telling police that he had also spent some time with Davis’ five-hole when he was under the age of 14.
Davis was arrested at her home on suspicion of having unlawful sex with a minor under 16 and committing lewd acts with a minor under 14. Police feel there are probably more victims and ask that you contact them at 949.770.6011 if you know anything.
I’m embedding the following video from KTLA to replace the disturbing images of a naked Davis polluting my brain with the delicious images of a nekkid Mary Beth McDade.
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Continue ReadingMan Charged With DUI Caught With Barstool Stuck In Grill Of Truck
September 1, 2011 at 9:17 am by kniption
Louisville, KY - Richard T. Lee, 20, was driving his blue Chevy S-10 pickup truck just before 7 p.m. Monday, when he reportedly left the roadway and struck a building.
According to the arrest report, an unnamed individual was sitting on a barstool on the sidewalk nearby when it happened. Police say that person had to leap from the stool and “barely escaped being struck.” Lee then, allegedly, drove away.
“Barely” appears to be the correct word. According to police, they later located Lee with a stool embedded into the grill of his truck.
According to the arrest report, Lee’s license was expired, he couldn’t show proof of insurance and smelled strongly of alcohol. In what appears to be an admission of guilt, police say that Lee also told them this was his fourth DUI. Police confirmed this through computer records.
Lee, in fact, was out on a $5,000 cash bail from a past charge when this incident occured.
Lee was charged with wanton endangerment, leaving the scene of an accident, operating a motor vehicle under the influence of alcohol or drugs, failure to maintain insurance, operating a motor vehicle on a suspended license, operating a motor vehicle without proper registration plates and violating the conditions of his release.…
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SANTA ANA, Calif.— A man was arrested and charged with child endangerment after police say he threw his crying 7-year-old overboard while arguing with his girlfriend on a sight-seeing cruise.
Sloane Briles, 35, was on the 42-foot “Pavilion Queen” with his girlfriend and his two young sons from a previous marriage. They were with approximately 85 other people enjoying a 90-minute sight-seeing tour that goes past the homes of celebrities like Shirley Temple and John Wayne.
Witnesses say that Briles, who appeared to have been drinking, began arguing with his girlfriend and his 7-year-old son. Witnesses began to get angry with Briles as he started smacking the boy around while telling him he needed to toughen up.
When the boy would not stop crying, Briles informed him if he didn’t stop he would throw him overboard. If the passengers were upset with Briles before, I cannot imagine how they felt about him as he followed through with his threat and tossed the crying boy in the water 5-ft below.
Someone on the boat immediately tossed the kid a life ring and Briles jumped in to help his son, but another boater got to him first and pulled him out of the water.…
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