WAGONER, OK – Police arrested Lorie Hill at Wagoner High School on Monday after she was found drunk in her classroom and not wearing any pants.
Hill is a newly hired teacher for Wagoner Public Schools and was found by two other teachers slumped over a desk in an empty classroom on the first day back at school for teachers.
“They didn’t know who she was, she was apparently new and was supposed to start yesterday,” Police Chief Bob Haley said.
When police arrived, they found the 49-year-old in principal’s office where someone had given her some shorts to wear. Hill admitted to police that she’d been drinking, and an empty cup smelling of vodka was found inside her car.
Since police could not prove she was intoxicated when she drove her vehicle, Hill was only charged with public intoxication. The Wagoner School District declined to comment on any possible disciplinary actions against Lorie, saying they do not comment on personnel matters.
Parents are, understandably, outraged. “I don’t know, as an adult, I just don’t know how you can be a professional teacher and teaching young people, and then show up drunk,” said one parent.…Continue Reading
CROWLEY, TX – A 12-year-old girl is dead after a woman had her ride on top of her car because she didn’t want the girl’s wet bathing suit messing up the car’s upholstery.
Kisha Young, 38, spent June 17 getting drunk at the Creekside Community Pool with the victim’s mother and their six children between the ages of 8 and 14.
When the group left the pool, Young had the kids ride on top of her Chevy Malibu because their bathing suits were wet.
While taking the 1-minute drive home, four of the children fell off the car as Young drove around a corner. Neither Young or the victim’s mother were aware their load had lightened until some teenagers flagged down their car at the end of the street.
Three of the children were treated at the hospital and later released, but 12-year-old Octavia Watkins was admitted with severe head injuries. She never regained consciousness and was removed from life support last Wednesday.
“She was totally unconscious the whole time, so that was my main concern,” said Albert Garcia who found Watkins in the street.…Continue Reading
BILLINGS, MT – Police have arrested 52-year-old Shery Downs on a felony charge of assault with a weapon after she allegedly knifed her hubby in the face because he pissed on the bathroom floor.
When police arrived at the couple’s home, Shery’s 68-year-old husbnad was on the front steps holding a bloody towel to his face. Following a blood trail into the home, police found Shery who seemed to be intoxicated.
She told them that her husband had hurt himself after she called police to report he gave a false name to the cable company in an attempt to get free cable installed at the home. She denied hurting her husband or seeing his injury.
Her husband had a different story, claiming Shery got angry with him because he pissed on the bathroom floor. She told him she wanted to “cut him up” before using a cleaver-type knife to slash his throat and face. Afterwards, she told him she hoped he died.
Her husband was taken to the hospital where stitches were needed to treat the cut on his face.…Continue Reading
Nathan Stumler has been accused of getting into an accident while driving drunk, then leaving his 7-year-old child crying in the road after he fled the scene.
Officers responding to a report of an intoxicated driver found Stumler’s daughter screaming in the street. They also found Stumler’s still-running vehicle with some fresh damage to the front end.
When officers calmed down the frightened but uninjured girl, she told them that her father had struck something with his vehicle and ran over the curb before parking the car and running away on foot.
She also pointed out the direction her drunk dad had ran, and police were able to locate the 25-year-old a short time later. Police reported that when he was found, Stumler was unsteady on his feet, had slurred speech and smelled like alcohol.
For his attempt at getting out of a DUI charge, Stumler was taken into custody and charged with operating a vehicle under the influence of alcohol or drugs and first-degree wanton endangerment.…Continue Reading
CALHOUN, GA – Police have charged Andrew Haynes, Fields Chapman and Damon “Avery” Johnson, all 18-years-old, with aggravated sexual battery after an alleged attack on a girl inside a cabin during a post-prom party earlier this month.
Gilmer County Sheriff Stacy Nicholson said the charges stem from an incident that happened earlier this month inside the bedroom of a cabin at the Coosawattee River Resort. It’s being reported that an 18-year-old girl was sexually assaulted by the three teens during an “out of control” drinking party attended by as many as 27 people. The victim ended up hospitalized for several hours the next day for “substantial” injuries.
Nicholson said the arrests were made after more than 50 interviews — including someone who witnessed the assault, studying forensic evidence, and enlisting the help of sexual assault experts. He went on to say that they were not able to charge the teens with rape because they’d used a foreign object on the victim.
He declined to elaborate when questioned about this, only stating that what happened to the victim was not “true rape” as outlined by the law.…Continue Reading
GUILTY! OFF WITH HER HEAD!
It all started when Cameo Crispi’s ex called police on March 14 to complain that he had received numerous texts and phone calls from her within the range of one hour, and he really wanted her to knock it the fuck off already. He also told police he didn’t want Crispi at his home. Crispi. Heh.
An officer was dispatched to the man’s home and found smoke pouring out the front door. Inside, an “impaired” Crispi.
When the officer stepped inside the man’s home, he noticed a wood stove left open with a fire burning inside and hot coals on the floor around the stove. And on the kitchen stove, claimed the officer, there was a cookie sheet with about a pound of bacon on it. Now, bear with me, people….. this part of the story is extremely difficult for me.…Continue Reading
HOUSTON, TX – The mother and aunt of a 1-year-old girl are both facing charges after the little girl was admitted to the hospital suffering from alcohol poisoning.
On February 8, police were called to a home where a man said his young daughter had been dropped off by his mother and was now unresponsive. When emergency personnel arrived, they found the 1-year-old had turned into Jaded on any given day of the week; moaning, smelling of alcohol and covered in vomit.
The girl was taken to the hospital where it was determined she had suffered alcohol poisoning and a BAC of over .26. The girl’s father told police that she was like that when she’d been dropped off after being cared for by her mother, 17-year-old Shadreon Jefferson and Jefferson’s sister, 24-year-old Shamara Batiste.
When deputies interviewed Jefferson, she told them she’d fallen asleep and woke up to find that Batiste had given the girl about six shots of vodka. Instead of taking the girl to the hospital, they simply dropped the baby girl off at her father’s home to let him deal with it.…Continue Reading
McCloud, OK – I wasn’t even going to post this because the story is already making the rounds, but I really wanted a “wedgie” tag. A man in Oklahoma is in jail after police accused him of killing his stepfather with a wedgie.
Police say that a few days before Christmas, 33-year-old Brad Davis was drinking with his stepfather, 58-year-old Denver St. Clair. The two men got into a verbal argument after St. Clair began talking shit about Davis’ mother. This altercation turned physical and Davis, a former marine, ended up knocking his stepfather unconscious.
Not satisfied with knocking the man out, Davis took this opportunity to add some insult to injury by giving the defenseless man an atomic wedgie. “His underwear was pulled up over his head and the elastic band was around his throat.” Lt. Jimmy Brewer said. Davis then took some pictures with his cell phone and called 911 to report the incident.
Unfortunately, St. Clair died smelling his own taint. For the first time in 10 years, we have an article about a man who was strangled to death by his own underwear.…Continue Reading
Here, Now – I know I’m late getting this one posted, but this is last week’s Pulpit of Doom Podcast with myself, Jaded and Athena talking about the top ten stories for that week.
These stories included pit bull shenanigans, starving babies, inbred mutants, penis helicopters, and much, much more. Unfortunately, the guy who ass-raped a woman with his fist was number one for the third week in a row. Luckily, it looks like it has finally fallen down the list and will be gone before tomorrow night’s podcast
I also went on a mini-rant about some of our readers and their hypocritical stance regarding what bad news we should post, and what we shouldn’t. Some do not seem to understand that we simply pick the worst stories we can find. If that means pit bulls mauling people to death or a child being raped and murdered. It’s basic yellow journalism. It’s Schadenfreude. We just don’t have any issues admitting that.
We also stress to our readers that we are not true reflection of society, just a very small percentage of it.…Continue Reading
Casco Township, MI – A man in Michigan was arrested after he allegedly punched his mother in the face repeatedly while decorating the family Christmas tree.
Pasco Township Police received a 911 call from a home on Friday with no one on the line. However, shouting could be heard as well as a female yelling “you are hurting me.” When police arrived at the home, they found 33-year-old Lewis Atwood with his girlfriend, mother and brother.
According to the report, the family had been decorating the family Christmas tree when a drunken Atwood flew into a jealous rage over finding his brother had a personalized ornament to hang on the tree, but he did not. In response, he began repeatedly punching his 58-year-old mom in the face.
The woman suffered a bloody nose, swollen eye and a swollen lip. As for Atwood, he had minor injuries to his knuckles and hands consistent with drunkenly punching your mother in the face multiple times. Atwood was arrested for domestic violence and booked into the county jail, where he’s being held on a $5000 bond.…Continue Reading
FORT WORTH, TX — A juvenile court judge has gotten some people upset after she sentenced 16-year-old Ethan Couch to 10 years’ probation for the drunk driving crash that killed four people.
Back in June, Breanna Mitchell’s SUV had a flat tire so she pulled over to the side of the road. Hollie Boyles, 52, and her daughter, Shelby Boyles, 21, lived nearby and had came out to help Mitchell. Brian Jennings, 41, was driving by and also stopped to see if he could lend a hand.
Unfortunately for all of them, 16-year-old Ethan Couch was also on the road, driving drunk. He and some of his seven passengers had stolen some beer from a Walmart hours earlier and were speeding when Couch lost control of his truck, left the road and struck Breanna’s SUV.
Breanna, Hollie, Shelby and Brian were not in the road when the collision occurred, but they were all killed on impact and thrown 50 to 60 yards away. One of Couch’s passengers suffered serious injuries while another remains paralyzed and only able to communicate by blinking his eyes.…Continue Reading
Hallandale Beach, FL - Kayla Mendoza, 20, tweeted “2 drunk 2 care” before she allegedly driving down the wrong side of the road and causing a deadly car accident that killed two women.
Three hours after Mendoza made that tweet, she drove her vehicle the wrong way down the Sawgrass Expressway at 1:45 a.m. Sunday morning. She ended up plowing into another vehicle head-on, killing best friends, Kaitlyn Ferrante and Marisa Catronio, both 21-years-old.
Catronio was pronounced dead at the scene while Ferrante was taken to the hospital and died two days later. Mendoza was taken to the hospital where she was last listed in fair condition. Police are waiting for a toxicology report before deciding what charges will be filed against her.
“It is unknown at this time if Mendoza was driving under the influence,” said Sgt. Mark Wysocky of the Florida Highway Patrol.
Not helping Mendoza right now are the series of tweets she’s made to her “pothead princess” Twitter account in the days and hour before the fatal collision.…Continue Reading
ORCHARD PARK, NY - The idiot who fell 30-feet from the upper deck at Ralph Wilson Stadium while attempting to slide down a rail, has been fired from his job.
For those of you who missed the story, the Bills were playing the Jets at Ralph Wilson Stadium on Sunday when cameras captured Rob Hopkins attempting to slide down an outer rail in the 300 level. His dumbass ended up falling backwards and landing on an unsuspecting spectator in the stands below.
“He kind of bounced off him and landed about two rows down on the ground,” said one witness sitting close to where Hopkins landed with a loud derp.
Hopkins and the person he landed on didn’t suffer any life-threatening injuries, but both were taken to the hospital to be checked out and later released. The Buffalo Bills reacted immediately, banning Hopkins from future events at Ralph Wilson Stadium – for life.
“The irresponsible behavior that occurred at yesterday’s game by the fan who fell from the upper deck is a violation of our Fan Code of Conduct and cannot, and will not, be tolerated.…Continue Reading
KENOSHA, WI – A drunk man dressed as a clown has been accused of dangling a boy over a railroad overpass early Sunday morning.
According to police, 33-year-old Antonio Brown came home drunk after attending a Halloween party Saturday night. Still dressed as a clown, he told his girlfriend’s two kids that he wanted to go walk the train tracks, something they had all done before.
As he and the two boys – ages 13 and 8 – walked along the tracks, Brown continued drinking alcohol. The boys said Brown was “acting strange” and ended up making them drink the alcohol to the point that one of the boys threw up.
When the younger of the two boys got scared and wanted to go home, Brown got angry. The two boys took off running with Brown in hot pursuit. Brown caught up to the older boy, grabbed him, picked him up and hung him upside down from an overpass. “If you try that again, I’m going to drop you,” he allegedly informed the boy.…Continue Reading
San Antonio, TX - A 67-year-old Texas man was sentenced to 35 years in prison after being convicted last month of raping his son’s prom date.
The incident happened In May 2012, after Ismael Cruz’s son and his son’s 19-year-old girlfriend returned home from the prom. Because they had been drinking heavily, the girlfriend decided to spend the night.
The girl told police that she woke up in the middle of the night with her dress partially removed and someone on top of her. When she realized it wasn’t her boyfriend, but rather her boyfriend’s father, she pushed Cruz away and screamed for help.
Cruz’s son ran out and began beating him, and continued to try and get his hands on him even while police were on the scene. Cruz, who has two prior drunk driving convictions, told investigators he’d drank more than 60 beers that night.
Cruz’s attorney had asked state District Judge Ray Olivarri for the minimum penalty of 25-years in prison. Judge Olivarri took the attorney’s suggestion under consideration, then sentenced Cruz to 35 years behind bars.…Continue Reading
Lauderhill, FL - Two police officers turned themselves in last week amid allegations that they pressured two female DUI suspects into giving them sexual favors in return for not arresting them. One officer allegedly ordered one of the women to punch him in the nuts because it turned him on.
Police officer Thomas Merenda, 34, and his partner, Franklin Hartley, 33, pulled over two intoxicated women around 4 am at a Taco Bell. The women allege that Hartley told them he could arrest them, but then told them to drive behind a strip mall where Merenda was waiting.
Hartley followed them and once there, began to “kiss and touch” the passenger’s breasts “while reminding her she could be arrested.” Then he reportedly ordered her to have sex with him, which she did.
At the same time, Merenda gave the other female a very thorough “pat down” and then asked her to punch him in the “nuts” and “reassured her that this was ok and this turned him on.” His ever-helpful partner encouraged the woman to do so by saying that he “really enjoys this” and the woman kicked Merenda in the balls.…Continue Reading
Moab, UT – Think you are having a bad day? Well a cop in Utah has been accused of trying to kill his father after he caught him having sex with his wife.
According to reports, 33-year-old Timothy John “TJ” Brewer, a deputy with the sheriff’s department in Grand County, invited his father, Moab fire chief Wesley “Corky” Brewer, to his home for dinner and drinks.
Sometime in the early morning hours, TJ’s wife, Logan Brewer, said she was going to take one of their children to bed. When that kid came back downstairs, TJ realized he was alone and went upstairs to find the door to his 4-year-old son’s bedroom was locked. When he made entry, he found his wife on top of his father, with “his dad’s dick” inside her.
As you can imagine, poor TJ lost it. He “beat the fuck” out of his old man before leaving the room and coming back with a handgun. Logan told investigators that she heard her husband “rack a round” into the gun’s chamber before he started smacking her around a bit.…Continue Reading
SAN DIEGO, CA – A man is in the hospital after driving his car off a cliff in the Sunset Cliffs neighborhood of San Diego.
According to San Diego police, the driver of a sedan sped through a locked gate and off a 40-foot tall cliff, slamming into the beach below, in the early morning of July 29th.
The vehicle, shown suspended from tow cables in this photo, has extensive damage to both the front and the rear. The driver was able to walk away from the vehicle and ignored onlookers shouting at him from the top of the bluffs. “He was pretty unresponsive,” said a witness. “He didn’t look up at us.”
When rescuers arrived the man resisted rescue efforts, preventing them from placing him inside a rescue helicopter. Maurice Luque, of the San Diego Fire Rescue Department said, “He was combative, he wanted to fight with our crews, he wanted to be left alone.”
The fire rescue captain stated, “We put him in a bag called a Bowman bag which pretty much just wraps him up like a burrito.” The human burrito was then transported to the hospital via helicopter with “serious but not life-threatening” injuries.…Continue Reading