Pregnant Woman Killed After Her 6-Year-Old Accidentally Ran Her OverWoman Locked Two Children In Trunk Of Car Before Shopping in WalmartGirl, 4, Dies After Being Entangled In House Boat PropellersMan Accused Of Rubbing Hot Sauce In Baby's Eyes, Snapping Face With TowelGirl, 10, Has Arm Ripped Off During Pit Bull AttackTeen Charged With Murder After Stabbing Her Uber Driver To DeathBaby Dies From Bite Wounds After Being Left Unattended With Family's Pit BullWorker Killed After Getting Tangled In His Own Street SweeperTeen Charged With Murder Of 10-Year-Old Kiaya CampbellVideo: Woman Jumps Counter To Assault McDonald's Worker Over McChicken Sandwich

Newport, TN — Police and paramedics were called to the home of a 38-year-old man Wednesday night in response to a rather bizarre stabbing incident – the man of the house apparently poked himself in the gut with a turkey thermometer to see if he was “done.”

The man in question, Scott Kelly, was found lying on a sofa in the home with a small stab wound in his gut.

When questioned, Kelly reportedly told officers he was “basting himself” and just wanted to be left alone. He then explained that he had stuck the thermometer into his stomach “to check his temperature, and to determine if he was done or not.”

Why, yes, alcohol was involved! How did you guess?

Kelly’s girlfriend told police the man had consumed a fifth of liquor and eight or nine beers before jabbing himself with the thermometer. Based on that information, I’m assuming Kelly was, in fact, done. Well done, even.

Kelly was transported to the hospital for treatment and a mental evaluation.…

Page 1 of 11