Mom, Stepmom Accused Of Assaulting Son's Alleged Bullies In School CafeteriaAlicia Carroll Charged After Leaving Daughter In Dumpster OvernightStephen Woytack Killed By Falling Headstone While Decorating Family GraveBoy, 12, Accused Of Fatally Shooting His 13-year-old FriendDynel Lane Accused Of Cutting Baby Out Of Pregnant Woman's Womb After Luring Victim With Craigslist AdCaleb Barnes Accused Of Stabbing His 14-Year-Old Girlfriend's Mother To DeathGirl, 12, Tried Killing Her Mother With Bleach Because She Took Her Cell PhoneBoy, 13, Kills Younger Brother Then Commits Suicide Following Argument Over FoodOil Heir Andrew Getty Found Dead With Blunt Force Trauma "To The Rectal Area"Latisha Fisher Accused Of Murdering Her Toddler Inside Restaurant Bathroom

Newport, TN — Police and paramedics were called to the home of a 38-year-old man Wednesday night in response to a rather bizarre stabbing incident – the man of the house apparently poked himself in the gut with a turkey thermometer to see if he was “done.”

The man in question, Scott Kelly, was found lying on a sofa in the home with a small stab wound in his gut.

When questioned, Kelly reportedly told officers he was “basting himself” and just wanted to be left alone. He then explained that he had stuck the thermometer into his stomach “to check his temperature, and to determine if he was done or not.”

Why, yes, alcohol was involved! How did you guess?

Kelly’s girlfriend told police the man had consumed a fifth of liquor and eight or nine beers before jabbing himself with the thermometer. Based on that information, I’m assuming Kelly was, in fact, done. Well done, even.

Kelly was transported to the hospital for treatment and a mental evaluation.…


Page 1 of 11