Police: “Clown” Robs Woman On Toilet

November 16, 2010 at 4:10 am by Jaded  

Akron, OH – According to police, an intruder armed with a knife and wearing a clown mask broke into the home of 70-year-old Jacqueline Cutright early Saturday morning, confronted her as she sat on the shitter, and demanded money and prescription drugs. “I said, ‘Boy, did you break into the wrong house, a poor person lives here,’” Cutright said. “He just said, ‘stay in the bathroom and you will be alright, I won’t hurt you.’ And I said that works for me.” The clown, later identified as 22-year-old Cory Buckly, spent a couple hours ransacking the woman’s home, snaring $28 in cash and about $1,000 in costume jewelry. Cutright said the man was polite…even called her ma’am. She said she knew she was safe from harm when the clown eyed her silver bracelet, read the inscription and returned it to her. “The bracelet said, ‘A mother holds her children’s hands for a while but their hearts forever,’ which I think is lovely, and when he read that he gave it back to me,” she said.…

Harmoney Sankey Had Just Turned Two

July 6, 2009 at 5:04 am by thinkgoat  

Canton, Ohio Police made quick work of locking up a couple of thugs who wreaked havoc on a Canton family Thursday. In a city that had a reported 9 homicides in 2008, Thursday’s incident brought 2009 statistics up to 10 homicides thus far. Fortunately for all involved, the first alleged gunman, William Ferguson (21) turned himself into police early Saturday morning in Elria and the fine men/women in blue transported this ass back to Canton. Upon interviewing him, police gathered enough information to arrest Maki Ragland (20) at a relative’s home in Canton. One of the big questions is:  Why shoot grandpa in the leg and how did it end up killing a two-year-old?…

James Mammone III Really Got Even With The Ex

June 9, 2009 at 9:48 am by Jaded  

Canton, Ohio–It seems like just yesterday, I was writing a story about a heinous and selfish bitch who slit the throats of her two children. Oh wait…it was just yesterday. What are the chances, then, that I would have another tale that closely mirrors the Debra Jeter story? I’d say the chances of that happening are pretty fucking high. James Mammone III slit the throats of his children too. He one-upped Debra though…he took out his ex mother-in-law as well.…

WTF Was Wrong With Jack Holtzen?

February 27, 2009 at 10:23 am by Jaded  

Jack Holtzen and friend (Myspace)

Shawnee, KS–The first thing to come to mind when I came across this story in the forums was, ‘Wow. A story from Kansas. Weird.’ The second thing to come to mind was, ‘Wow. Jack Holtzen is fucking crazy!’ In the span of just half-an-hour, Jack managed to injure three women and himself.

…

Patrick Kostal Got Pwned!

February 26, 2009 at 8:14 am by Jaded  

Patrick’s thug-ish Myspace

Elyria, OH–Patrick Kostal, 18, and his little gang of thieves picked on the wrong old lady. When they busted in to Ellen Basinski’s house and demanded money, she got pissed and Patrick got PWNED!

…