Chino Valley, AZ – Have you ever been so liquored up and desperate for a piece of tail that the neighbor’s dog started to look attractive? What with her furry little booty and her come hither looks? No? Didn’t think so. I guess Gary Riley can’t say the same – he’s been indicted on charges of bestiality for the alleged rape of his neighbor’s 6-month-old border collie, Daisy. Levi Federwisch told officers that he arrived home from work on January 7th and discovered that his dog was missing. While searching for the pup, Levi came upon a gruesome and disturbing scene – poor Daisy was being violated by Gary. After a bit of a struggle, Levi was able to rescue the dog from the big dumb human. Gary, who was later found hiding under his bed, told officers that he had found the dog on his property and was on his way to return it when a man (Levi) started yelling and hit him for no good reason. When Levi said something about calling the cops, Gary freaked.…
Continue ReadingDallas, TX – At the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve, Kerri Lyn Smith’s boyfriend leaned in for a kiss. Little did the poor fucker know, he, at some point, did something to piss her the hell off. What he did/said/thought is unknown. And when he committed the atrocious offense, whether it be real or Kerri’s imagination, is also unknown. She showed him her displeasure by biting his lip off and spitting it out. She bit his bottom lip right the hell off his face. He was able to push her crazy ass away and summon help via 911. (Would you consider me twisted if I told you that I would love to hear the actual 911 recording? I’m running it through my head right now, and yes, it sounds kinda funny). Police say they aren’t sure why Smith was so pissed, but when they arrived at the home, they found the boyfriend’s lip laying on the floor. I don’t know, but I’m thinking alcohol may have played a role in the whole bloody incident.…
Continue ReadingSan Francisco – Demonites, meet 32-year-old Elena Aronson. This pretty lady claims that back in April, some random dude who had been sitting next to her on the Muni attacked her and stole her teeth. Right out of her mouth. According to Elena, she was riding the bus to work on April 6th when the man next to her “fixed his gaze on her teeth.” “I want them,” the random guy allegedly said. He repeatedly told her that “her teeth were beautiful – like the moon and stars.” Feeling uncomfortable, Elena got off at the very next stop. The next thing she knew, she was kneeling on the ground bleeding from her mouth – her two front teeth, gone. Elena states that she spent the next two days recovering in the hospital. A police report was made at the time of the supposed incident, but according to Elena, it took weeks for her memory to return – and even then, she couldn’t remember the man following her off the bus or the attack.…
Continue ReadingMountain Home, Arkansas Armed with a face only a mother could love, a criminal past, and an axe, Jason Marshall pretty much fucked up his parole. Monday, police received a couple of distressed phone calls regarding a domestic disturbance, the second of which the victim stated she and her children were able to escape their abuser but needed medical attention. An ambulance was dispatched to intercept the patients, Elizabeth Marshall (41) and her 9-year-old son at an intersection and they were transported to a nearby hospital.…
Continue ReadingCommerce, TX – That’s it. I never thought this day would come, but, it has. I am marking the date and time on my calendar – as of 5:00 a.m. on September 28th, I have officially heard it all. After today, I highly doubt that I will ever be shocked or by surprised by anything. Officers were called to the Commerce Hardware and Feed on a report of an elderly man blowing an unknown substance into the face of a store employee. The employee told officers that she had reached out to take the man’s check and he blew some whitish, powdery, substance in her face. Undaunted, the cashier turned to the register to process the check and when she turned to face the man, he blew the powdery shit in her face again. (I can’t believe she didn’t freak out and scream “Anthrax!!!”) Anyway, the old guy stood around for a few minutes then left the store and the cashier called the cops. She gave a description of the man and the cops were on his trail.…
Continue ReadingMesa, AZ – Tonya Goodson and her two daughters, ages 1 and 10, were out for a walk Sunday evening when their evening was ruined by a ridiculously cracked bitch. That screwy bitch was Viniecia Jordan – she seemed to think that Goodson’s 10-year-old daughter was giving her the old stink eye or something, and she flipped the hell out. She yelled after the trio, “Tell your daughter to stop staring at me!” Goodson, obviously not wanting to tangle with the mental midget, continued walking. Jordan approached Goodson and told her that she better “put her bitch daughter in check.” Goodson tried to explain that her daughter Stephanie was hearing impaired – she is completely deaf in one ear and nearly so in the other – and she communicates by reading lips. The mental midgets response to that? “She don’t look deaf to me.” *massive eye roll followed by facepalm* After a little more taunting, Jordan proceeded to go all Mike Tyson and shit. Fists flew - and so did the toddler.…
Continue ReadingMemphis, TN – I’m thinking that Vernardica Odom might be a tad bit loony and I feel for any man, child, or beast within striking distance when she blows a friggin’ gasket. On Wednesday, a very pissed off Odom appeared at her baby daddy‘s girlfriend’s house and started banging on the door until glass started shattering. When baby daddy’s girlfriend opened the door, Odom stormed in and attacked! She got all kinds of crazy on the father of her 2-month-old daughter, Darobert Jones. She bit, she choked, she scratched, and she screamed before dragging Jones, clad only in boxers, out to her car. Jones escaped his crazy captor a short time later by taking a flying leap out the car door. According to the arrest affidavit, Odom then drove to her own home, picked up her infant child and returned to Jones’ girlfriend’s house. Upon arrival, Odom allegedly removed the child from her car seat and tossed her at Jones and screamed, “You go, the baby goes!” Jones scooped the baby girl up from the ground, got into a car with his girlfriend and drove away – with Odom right on their ass.…
Continue ReadingWinnipeg, Canada – Early Tuesday morning, 18-year-old Tyler Bilsborrow stepped outside to have a smoke. He heard a commotion (screaming) coming from a short distance away and saw what he believed to be a woman abusing a cat. As he approached the crazy cat-flinging lady, he discovered that what he initially thought was a cat was actually a baby. The crazy lady, Nikita Eaglestick, had the child by the neck and was repeatedly slamming her face first into the pavement. When Nikita realized she had been spotted, she dropped the child and staggered off, crying. The baby, brutally beaten and struggling to breathe, tried to crawl away before being scooped up by Tyler. He wrapped the child in his hoodie and comforted her until emergency crews arrived. The question now is, what the fuck? Who was that crazy woman and what the hell does she have against babies? …
Continue ReadingGwinnett County, Georgia is a suburb county of Atlanta. Many residents live in Gwinnett Co and commute into the city for work. Suburbs offer a slower pace than the heart of the city which is a huge draw, coupled with a lower crime rate. A number of young parents opt for a suburban homestead as a better place to raise their children. Children do however, have an uncanny ability to thrive anywhere they’re raised as long as there is a loving hand guiding them and a sense of security. But now things have drastically changed for a little 4 year-old girl who ran for her young life as she witnessed her mother, her sister, and two family friend’s fatal shooting – and was shot as she ran for help.…
Continue ReadingLong Branch, NJ – Way back in the old days, when I was just an itty bitty Jaded, I had my very own boogeyman. My boogeyman stood 7-8 feet tall, had greasy green hair, a ginormous mouth filled with pointy teeth and an over-sized tongue, breath that smelled like compost, long yellow fingernails, and glowing yellow eyes. I named him Bob. When Bob wasn’t hanging out watching me from my closet, he laid under my bed – waiting for my kid-sized bladder to wake me in the middle of the night so he could nibble on my tiny toes the instant they hit the floor. It took me quite some time, and a few sleepless bladder-filled nights, to realize that Bob the Boogeyman was just a figment of my overactive imagination. As an adult, I now know the boogeyman is for real. Today’s boogeymen may not look terrifying and larger than life, the fact that they look like normal human beings is what makes them so scary. Take Luis Rodriguez for instance.…
Continue ReadingAthens, GA – Back in September of 2001, Phillip Scruggs got all pissed off and stabby with his girlfriend, Elisa Davenport. He kidnapped her, stabbed her a few times, and left her for dead. Elisa had luck on her side and managed to survive the attack. Scruggs was arrested, charged with kidnapping, kidnapping with bodily injury, aggravated assault, and violating the state Family Violence Act. As part of a plea agreement, he pleaded guilty to kidnapping, false imprisonment and battery. Scruggs received a slap on the wrist for the violent assault and was sentenced to three years in prison and seven years of probation. While he did his time, Elisa recovered and got on with her life. And, according to her family, she was doing very well without the stabby bastard. I guess the stabbing wasn’t enough to derail the relationship – the couple picked up where they left off when Scruggs was released from prison in 2004. Now, five rocky and tumultuous years later, Scruggs upped the ante. This time around, his weapon of choice was kerosene.…
Continue ReadingJackson County, Florida Law enforcement officers contend with an awful lot while they’re on duty. As as we’ve witnessed on the Dreamin’ Demon, their job is far from easy. Domestic disputes have to be a certified mess as they sort out all the “he said, she said” bullshit and sort out who did what to whom first. It’s aggravating when they spend so much time trying to distinguish who’s telling the truth. I believe in time efficiency, if there’s a discrepancy in stories, haul everyone to jail and sort it out there. But not always is my way of dealing with things the best way. If the police simply responded to this domestic call without looking around, the living conditions of this couple’s children would have gone unnoticed. …
Continue ReadingFort Walton Beach, FL- For some strange reason, James Nathan Dale Davis, 23, was having a really shitty day at McDonald’s on July 29. Davis first got in a huff when a news program on the restaurant television was discussing pornography and he requested the manager to turn the TV off. The manager did as he demanded, but that didn’t cool the ass-hat’s temper. Right after that, Davis spilled a drink on the floor. He hollered and cursed at the and the staff of McDonald’s to clean it up. The store manager began filling a mop bucket, but had to stop to help other customers.…
Continue ReadingPhoenix, AZ – Thursday was quite a day for Salvador Medina. At 9:00 a.m. that morning, he was released from prison after serving time for sexual abuse/dangerous crimes against children. He was given a ride to meet with his parole officer, went through the out-process, was issued a GPS ankle monitor, and was back on the streets by noon. Just hours after his release, Medina was up to his old tricks. And, shortly after midnight, back in police custody. After he departed the PO’s office, he managed to remove his ankle bracelet. At 4:00 p.m., he accosted three sisters, ages 15, 15, and 11, coming out of a department store. He watched as the girls got settled in the car – then he made his move. He allegedly forced his way into the car, threatened the 15-year-old driver with a pair of scissors, and demanded she drive out of the area. And, so she did. …
Continue ReadingTempe, AZ – Not a lot of story to this one, but there was enough to get my teeth grinding. On Saturday, Michelle Antone, 35, awoke from a nap at about 4:00 p.m. She must have been pretty sloshed before she closed her eyes, because when she woke up, she still had a pretty nasty buzz goin’ on. Anyway, when she came to, she got a bit antagonistic with her two daughters, ages 10 and 15. The girls, worried about the state their mother was in, locked her car keys in another room and fled the house. When the girls returned to the home a couple hours later, their mother demanded they hand over the keys – when the older girl told her mother she didn’t have access to the locked room, momma gave ‘em both a dose of pepper spray to the face and fled the house. Police caught up with the mean ass drunk a short time later and she was taken into custody. According to the arresting officers, Antone showed signs of impairment.…
Continue ReadingJonesboro, Arkansas - I had a craving for some Taco Hell the other day – after receiving my order at the drive-thru window, I did a quick check to make sure I had everything I paid for. Burrito? Check. Large Pepsi? Check. Empanada? Check. Nachos? Che…wait. No nachos. No fucking way! Are you kidding me? I bet they purposely failed to include that in my little bag…the bastards. So, you know what I did next? Well, first, I called 911 to report that I totally got ripped off. Then, I proceeded to climb through the drive-thru window and spork the neglectful employee who dared to forget my damn nachos! Ok, not really. I merely informed the guy in the window that I was missing a part of my order – in the kindest voice possible, of course, and he apologized and handed me my nachos. Simple as that. What’s the moral of this story? Don’t piss off a one-legged tweaker guy who’s packin’ a .38. …
Continue ReadingPhoenix, AZ – Benny Peralta, 46, is a real ass. He was hired by a 56-year-old woman to assist with the care of her disabled 62-year-old husband, but, things weren’t working out and the couple was planning to rent out the guesthouse where Benny was staying. Back on June 24, when the woman informed Benny they no longer required his assistance, Benny got all violent and stabby. First, he grabbed the disabled man’s dog from his lap and threw it into the wall. He then knocked the man out of his wheelchair and began stabbing him in the neck and back with a large kitchen knife. When the man’s wife tried to intervene, she got a dose of Benny’s anger as well. …
Continue ReadingHouston, Texas–Have you seen this asshole? If so, the Houston police would like to talk to ya. Uriel Vargas Alvarado, 25, is wanted on charges of aggravated assault with serious bodily injury. He is suspected of intentionally dousing his girlfriend with gasoline and setting her on fire, causing fourth-degree burns to over 70 percent of her body. On Sunday evening, 33-year-old single mother of two, Patricia DeLeon Hernandez, heard a knock at her apartment door……
Continue ReadingClover, S. Carolina–Please, allow me to introduce you to Carl Johnson. A top-notch and upstanding member of society…a fellow that any parent would be proud to call their son. Ok, not really. Carl’s 70-year-old father was just hanging out in the camper behind his home on Thursday when Carl came busting through the door. Carl said something like, “I’ve come to kill you.” He then picked up a metal chair and whacked his dad on the head with it about 4-5 times before swiping the old dude’s wallet from his back pocket.…
Continue ReadingNew Orleans, Louisiana - Young mother, 17-year-old, Darrion Scott, was out on a nice Wednesday afternoon with her toddler when she decided to hop a bus. After getting on board she was informed by the bus driver, Hanella Johnson to fold her baby’s stroller and keep it out of the aisle for safety reasons. However, Scott thought the rules didn’t apply to her and flat out refused. She plopped her ass in a seat and kept the stroller next to her in the aisle.…
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