LONDON – We’ve all been there, right? Kind of bored with nothing to do when you decide to shove a vibrator up your ass? Lord knows I have. I usually do this with reckless abandon, using a “butter churning” technique I’ve perfected.
I may ease up a bit, though, especially after reading about what happened to 50-year-old Nigel Willis. Diabetic, jobless, and living with his elderly mother, Willis inserted a dildo up his ass last December. No harm, no foul – at first.
Willis’ problems began when he found he wasn’t able to remove the sex toy. Embarrassed, the man decided not to seek medical attention and remained on a couch with the toy up his butt for five days.
It’s not like we haven’t heard of this before. There was a recent story making the rounds regarding a woman who lost a sex toy in her vag for ten years. Unfortunately for Willis, the toy had perforated his bowel and he was suffering from septic shock.
After days of feeling dizzy, weak and unable to move from the couch, a neighbor convinced him to call for help.…
SYRACUSE, NY – Marli Hamblin, 15, has died from head injuries she suffered after being run over by a car while she was sunbathing in her driveway.
Marli was listening to her iPod while sunbathing in the driveway of her home Friday at around noon when a family member opened the garage, got into a Chevy truck, and then backed over Marli’s head.
Marli was rushed to the hospital and later placed in a medically-induced coma. Her family created a Miracle for Marli Facebook page seeking donations and providing updates on her condition.
“We’re hoping for the best for Marli, that some way a miracle will help her to pull through,” said her grandfather, Ron Hamblin. “But should that not be the case, we’ll just buck it up and carry on.”
That may sound like a cold comment, but the Hamblins are LDS and their doctrine tells them that when experiencing disappointment, heartache and tragedy, to “endure it well.” Just thought I’d point that out.
Anyway, on Sunday, Marli’s family posted that Marli was had died.…
GREENWICH, CT – A day of fun on the Long Island Sound turned horrific when a popular teen was killed after being caught in a speed boat propeller.
The incident happened on Wednesday as 16-year-old Emily Fedorko and three of her friends were tubing in the waters off Greenwich Point Park.
Fedorko and a 15-year-old girl were both riding in a tube that was being pulled by a motor boat driven by a 16-year-old girl and a 16-year-old female passenger. It was after Fedorko and the girl riding with her were thrown off the tube that the accident occurred.
“At some point some of the maneuvers that took place with the boat and the tubes, the vessel slowed or stopped. The girls’ tube continued forward and they became entangled in the propeller,” said Greenwich Police’s Lt. Kraig Gray. Yikes.
Fedorko suffered a laceration to her torso from the propeller that was so bad that responding emergency personnel were unable to even attempt resuscitation. She was pronounced dead at the scene. …
SAN DIEGO, CA – Mason Zisette, a 16-year-old high school junior, died after he struck a freeway bridge while standing on the top section of a double-decker tour bus.
The bus had been chartered for another teen’s private birthday party on Thursday and was traveling about 45 mph on the San Diego Freeway when the incident occurred.
The bus had 45 passengers, most under 18 years old, along with some adult chaperons who were in the lower section of the open-roof bus.
Witnesses say about two dozen teens were dancing on the top level of the bus at around 8 pm as they passed under the Vitae Street overpass. Zisette may have been dancing on a seat cushion with his back to the freeway signs when his head and hands slammed into the sign.
Zisette collapsed to the floor and was carried to the lower section until help arrived. He was taken to UCLA Harbor General Hospital where he would die on Saturday.
In 2012 we reported on Daniel Fernandez, another 16-year-old boy who died on a party bus after hitting his head.…
Police say that on Tuesday night, 55-year-old Henrietta Dickson either fell asleep or passed out in a designated parking space between two carport support pillars. When 55-year-old Fathima Masud returned home and pulled into the space, she did not see Dickson and accidentally parked on top of her.
Masud stated that she did notice a slight bump when she pulled in, but when she got out of her car to check, she found a tote bag full of clothing just behind her front left tire. Assuming that’s what she ran over and not seeing Dickson, who police say could only be seen from the front of the car, Masud went inside her home.
It wasn’t until the next morning that a passerby called police to report someone was sleeping underneath a car after they noticed Dickson’s hand sticking out from beneath the front of Masud’s car.…
CUSTER, SD – Fourth of July celebrations got off to a bad start when a South Dakota man choked to death while participating in a hot dog eating contest.
Walter Eagle Tail, 47, was competing with five others at an even organized by the Custer Chamber of Commerce at a local city park. The speed-eating contest was the start of Fourth of July weekend festivities, and one they’ve held for the last several years.
Witnesses say that once people realized Eagle Tail was choking on a hot dog, paramedics were called to the scene. “There was someone doing CPR when we arrived,” said Custer County Sheriff Rick Wheeler. “He probably just suffocated. It got lodged in his throat and they couldn’t get it out. It all happened within minutes.”
Eagle Tail was rushed to Custer Regional Hospital, where he was pronounced dead. Organizers decided to call off a pie-eating contest scheduled for the next day.
This may be the second story we’ve featured in 10 years that involved someone dying during an eating contest.…
DAVIE, FL – It’s been awhile since we’ve reported on a wood chipper death, but a man was killed yesterday afternoon after being pulled through one.
At around 4:15 p.m., the landscaper was pulled through a wood chipper as he and two co-workers cleared debris in a residential neighborhood. One resident described seeing one of the workers running down the street after the incident.
“He was obviously extremely distraught, yelling and flailing his arms around, screaming to another co-worker at a nearby fence and collapsed against it, his knees buckled,” said Cheryl Appel.
Police were called but there was little they could do as the poor bastard that goes through one of these machines completely, gets to experience “total morselization.”
“I’ve been in police work 20 years. I’ve never seen anything like this,” said Capt. Dale Engle with Davie police. “It was a gruesome scene.” Police have not officially identified the man and ave not released the name of the man’s employer because family members had not yet been notified.…
According to police, Ezra was riding in a minivan with four other people at around 4:40 a.m. when the freak accident occurred. The mother of three had been drinking at a party and was sitting on the lap of a front seat passenger. When she began to feel sick and stuck her head out the window to throw up, her head struck a telephone pole.
After the accident, the driver and one of the other passengers fled the scene but were apprehended later. The driver, a man in his 20s, has been charged with operating a motor vehicle while intoxicated, causing serious bodily injury and leaving the scene of an accident.
“You’ve got a 24-year-old child, you’ve raised to be a young adult and has their whole life ahead of them and it’s snuffed out because of a decision that was made and because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time,” said Michelle Lyman, who lives near the crash site.…
HOUSTON, TX – Moments after a woman crashed into a tree and died on impact, thieves stole her groceries while her two children were still in vehicle.
Houston police say a 23-year-old woman was driving a Toyota 4-runner in rush hour with her two sons – ages 6 and 4 – in the backseat. She was headed home after attending her younger son’s graduation and making a stop at the grocery store.
For reasons unknown at this time, she lost control of her SUV and collided with another car before crashing head-on into a tree. The woman was not wearing her seat belt and died on impact. Her two sons were wearing their seat belts and were taken to the hospital suffering from broken bones but no life-threatening injuries.
But what makes this story DD worthy is because of what some people on the scene did in the moments immediately after the crash. According to witnesses, thieves took this opportunity to steal groceries from the vehicle while the woman sat dead in the driver’s seat with her kids injured in the backseat.…
The 48-year-old was at an event at Grant Park dismantling the coffee machine when he lost his balance. Karr grabbed the machine to prevent from falling and the machine fell on top of his head and body, said police.
He was taken to Northwestern Memorial Hospital where he was pronounced dead a short time later from multiple crushing injuries to his head and chest. His death was ruled an accident, according to the medical examiner’s office.
From what I can gather, Karr was kind of a big deal within the coffee community. He was a technician who installed, repaired and modified coffee brewing equipment, and considered by some as the best in the country. His company, SteamVolt, was dedicated to “advancing the mechanics of craft coffee.”
“In terms of the work Jim did, he was one of the very few in the country that was known as being a top expert at what he did,” said Nicholas Cho, of Wrecking Ball Coffee Roasters.…
BARTOW COUNTY, GA – Authorities say 18-year-old Chance Werner drowned while playing a shopping cart game at Lake Allatoona.
A spokesperson for the Georgia Department of Natural Resources says that Werner and some friends were playing a game at Holiday Harbor Marina Saturday night that involved being pushed off a dock while riding inside a shopping cart.
Normally, the cart is tied to a pole so the rider would “pop” out of the cart as it was forcefully pushed off the dock and the person would simply swim back to the dock. But when Werner took his turn, he opted to have the cart tied to his belt loop instead.
Sadly, things didn’t go quite as planned. The weight of the cart ended up pulling the teen 30 feet below the surface of the lake and he was unable to break free. I did a little checking, and it turns out that an average shopping cart weighs around 30 pounds.
Rescue teams wouldn’t recover Werner’s body until three hours later. When found, he was still tied to the cart.…
HONEA PATH, SC – Police in South Carolina have arrested 18-year-old Taylor Kelly after they say she killed a man while testing out the effectiveness of a bulletproof vest.
You are reading this here, so you’ve probably guessed things didn’t work out too well.
Anderson County deputies received a call at 2:41 a.m. Wednesday morning from a home where eight to 10 friends had gathered. When they arrived on the scene, they found 26-year-old Blake Wardell lying in the garage with a single gunshot wound to the chest.
Police would learn that the shooting was no accident, and that Wardell was a willing participant. According to police, the people hanging out in the home came up with a great way to test the effectiveness of an old flak jacket.
Instead of putting the vest against a tree or something, Wardell decided to put it on and have Kelly fire a gun at him. Unfortunately for everyone involved, aside from the overall gene pool, Darwinism ensured the bullet passed through a seam in the vest and directly into Wardell’s chest.…
State police said that the deceased, Nathan Reese, 30; Jacqueline Stackhouse, 23; Austin Cousins, 3, Stackhouse’s son; Cadee Hawkins, 4; and Nariah Hawkins, 8, all had lethal amounts of carbon monoxide in their systems.
The source of the carbon monoxide came from an improperly ventialted propane heater located inside the 10-foot by 16-foot cabin.
The mother of the two girls left the cabin with another woman at around 5 a.m. that morning. Although alcohol was found inside the cabin, police say there is no evidence to support criminal charges against the mother.
Relatives of the victims watched near the cabin as authorities investigated, including the mother of the two girls. “It was a hysterical scene, especially for the parents of some of the victims,” State Police Capt. David Young.
Fir Chief Brett Ulrich said he wants to let people know how to use propane tanks properly to prevent another tragedy.…
Investigators say that on Sunday, an employee at the Wonton Food Company found a co-worker, 26-year-old Oscar Barrera, inside an industrial dough mixer.
The Harris County Institute of Forensic Sciences would later state the cause of Barrera’s death was multiple blunt force injuries. Police do not believe foul play was involved and have ruled the death an accident.
Over the last 10 years, we have reported on the horrendous workplace deaths of many people who, like most of us, were just working for the weekend. But Barrera may have been one of the lucky ones.
Getting beat to death inside an industrial dough mixer seems a lot better than being pulled into an asphalt grinder, or being cooked to death in an industrial tuna steamer, or dying from an exploding beer keg, or falling into a wood chipper, or suffocating in a manure pit, or being crushed in an industrial paper rolling machine, or cooking to death in an industrial dryer, or suffocating in a pile of pinto beans, or dying in a vat of boiling chocolate, or falling into an industrial meat grinder.…
HIGH POINT, NC — Investigators say seconds before 32-year-old Courtney Sanford died in a head-on collision with a truck, she was posting on Facebook.
The collision happened Thursday morning on Business 85 when Sanford crossed the center median and hit a large commercial truck driven by 73-year-old John Wallace Thompson. The impact caused the truck to go off the road and hit a tree, while Sanford’s vehicle went off the road and caught fire. Thompson was not injured.
Later that day, investigators were contacted by Sanford’s friends and family who told them Sanford had been posting on Facebook right around the time of the crash. Turns out Sanford’s last post to Facebook was right before the accident and was about liking Pharrell’s hit song “Happy”.
“The Facebook text happened at 8:33 a.m. We got the call on the wreck at 8:34 a.m.,” said Lt. Chris Weisner, with the High Point Police Department. Investigators say the Facebook post read: “The happy song makes me HAPPY.” Her posting activity also revealed Sanford had been posting selfies as she drove down the road.…
Martinez, CA – I can not imagine what the friends and family of 14-year-old Jenna Betti are going through today after the teen was struck and killed by a train while trying to retrieve a cell phone she’d dropped on the tracks.
According to the girl’s mother, Jenna had been sitting on the tracks with her boyfriend Sunday afternoon when a train approached. Her boyfriend jumped off on one side of the tracks, Jenna on the other.
‘Today my beautiful daughter kissed us goodbye. She was tragically killed today by a train,” Jenna’s mother wrote on Facebook. “She was sitting on the train tracks with her boyfriend… Why they made such a horrible decision we’ll never know.”
Jenna’s second horrible decision was apparently going back to retrieve her cell phone she’d dropped when she jumped off the tracks. “She didn’t judge the approach, and the train creates a vacuum, we were told, and it sucks you in,” her mother posted. Jenna was killed after being struck by the Burlington Northern Santa Fe Railway freight train.…
Norris was last seen by his parents on Tuesday, but they thought he was staying with a friend. On Thursday afternoon, his stepmother found him slumped over in the front seat of his pickup truck parked in the driveway. According to reports, it was hard to see him inside the truck from the outside.
Police are waiting on autopsy results to find out exactly how Norris died and how long he may been in the truck. There was no evidence of foul play and no signs of drugs or alcohol being involved. His family said Norris frequently spent long periods of time inside the truck using his cell phone to talk with friends.
Ohio is one of many states experiencing freezing temperatures lately and on the day he was found, temperatures in the area had dropped in the low zero degrees. I guess it’s possible he went to the truck to use his phone and wait for his friend to get him, and succumbed to the cold.…
Chicago, IL – Two people are dead and one is injured after one man tried retrieving a dropped cell phone and they all ended up falling through the ice of the Chicago River.
Shortly after midnight, 26-year-old Ken Hoang of dropped his cell phone as he and two friends walked along Water Street near McClurg Court. The phone ended up in the partially frozen Chicago River and Hoang jumped a fence in an attempt to retrieve it.
He ended up falling through the ice and his two friends, 23-year-old Quoc-Viet Phan Hoang and 21-year-old Lauren Li, ended up in the river with him when they both tried to help him. Witnesses called police after they heard one of the two men yelling for help.
“My friend said he heard a yell [for] help, you know. At first I didn’t believe it, so we still kept walking this way to keep sightseeing. As we got closer, he heard it again and I heard it again, too. And as we got closer, we yelled out, ‘Where you at?'” witness Luis said.…