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In The Mean Time...

open windowGonzales, LA – A three-year-old boy died on Sunday after he wandered away from his home and got his head trapped inside a partially open car window.

The boy’s family told investigators that the toddler wandered out of the house without any of the adults in the house knowing. After just a few minutes, the adults realized he was missing and started looking for him.

He was found hanging by the neck from the partially opened window of a Chevy Lumina parked outside. When responders arrived, the boy had already been removed from the window. He was rushed to the hospital where he was pronounced dead at 7:30 p.m.

The boy wasn’t tall enough to put his head through the opening and would have needed to climb on something to reach the window, deputies said. Sheriff’s Office detectives are still investigating the death.…

prison barsSan Antonio, TX – A 67-year-old Texas man was sentenced to 35 years in prison after being convicted last month of raping his son’s prom date.

The incident happened In May 2012, after Ismael Cruz’s son and his son’s 19-year-old girlfriend returned home from the prom. Because they had been drinking heavily, the girlfriend decided to spend the night.

The girl told police that she woke up in the middle of the night with her dress partially removed and someone on top of her. When she realized it wasn’t her boyfriend, but rather her boyfriend’s father, she pushed Cruz away and screamed for help.

Cruz’s son ran out and began beating him, and continued to try and get his hands on him even while police were on the scene. Cruz, who has two prior drunk driving convictions, told investigators he’d drank more than 60 beers that night.

Cruz’s attorney had asked state District Judge Ray Olivarri for the minimum penalty of 25-years in prison. Judge Olivarri took the attorney’s suggestion under consideration, then sentenced Cruz to 35 years behind bars.…

Mark Andrew RiceHANCOCK COUNTY, MS – A man recently released from prison after setting his dead fiancee on fire, now stands accused of brutally attacking a woman.

Mark Rice was just released from jail in March, but now he’s back in custody on charges of kidnapping, sexual battery and aggravated assault. He’s accused of beating a woman so badly that Chief Investigator Glenn Grannan called the attack one of the most heinous attacks he has dealt with in Hancock County.

“She suffered injuries to her face. She suffered injuries to her throat; He attempted to strangle her with the electric cord attached to a lamp,” Grannan said. “She suffered injuries to her buttocks area and back side as a result of a sexual attack.”

The unidentified woman was found by a roommate who had returned home to find the victim bound with duct tape and electrical ties. Unlike idiots in the movies, this person did not go into the house and investigate, but rather ran out of the house and called 911.…

Emilio Chavez IIIALBUQUERQUE, NM – Last week we reported on the naked man who got his ass handed to him by the father of the girl he got caught spying on. Now it’s being reported that the father may face more time behind bars than the Peeping Tom.

Police say 29-year-old Dylan Maho was naked and making noises underneath a young girl’s window last week. When the girl’s father, Emilio Chavez III (pictures), went out to investigate with his son and his son’s friend, they found Maho and proceeded to chase him down the street before beating the ever-living shit out of the pervert.

Responding police found Maho bleeding in the street suffering from severe injuries. He was rushed to the hospital in critical condition. Earlier news reports said he may not make it, but just like his penis outside of a kid’s bedroom window, Maho wasn’t staying down. He has since been upgraded to stable condition.

Once out of the hospital, police will charge him with felony voyeurism, a fourth-degree felony that carries a max penalty of one to two years in jail. …

Emily CraigCharleston, SC – An early morning shagging resulted in multiple charges for a couple caught having sex inside a shed at a South Carolina Home Depot.

The couple were observed going into a display shed and closing the door behind them at around 8:30 a.m. Wednesday morning. The employees didn’t look to see if there was any shmexy action going on in the butthut, instead deciding to call police.

When officers arrived at the scene and looked inside the shed, they discovered 20-year-old Emily Craig inside with her dress untied at the top and hanging around her waist. Also inside was 31-year-old Shaun Bowden. He had no shirt on and his pants were down to his knees, exposing his penis.

Craig’s troubles grew as fast as Bowden’s erection shrank after she gave police a false name and date of birth. Police discovered her true identity, and learned that she was on probation after being convicted of burglary and drug possession last year. Not surprisingly, she has at least one other arrest for prostitution.…

2013-09-10_082704MISSOULA, MT – A woman in Montana has been accused killing her husband of one week by pushing him off a cliff during an argument, instead of killing him with 30 to 40 years of incessant nagging.

Cody Johnson, 25, and Jordan Graham, 22, were married a little over a week ago but their honeymoon was short lived after Johnson was reported missing on July 8, when he did not show up for work.

Graham said she last saw her husband the night before, when he left their house late on July 7 with unidentified friends in a dark-colored car. On that same night, Graham reportedly sent a friend a message stating she was going to talk to her husband about her regretting having ever gotten married.

On July 10, Graham spotted her husband’s body at the base of a cliff in Glacier National Park and alerted park rangers. When asked how she knew where to look for Johnson’s body, she claimed she received an email telling her that her husband had died after a fall while hiking.…

Anna OchoaGILA BEND, AZ – A mother of three has been arrested after an anonymous tip informed police that she had burned her 2-year-old son on top of an electric stove.

Child Protective Services received a tip from an anonymous caller who claimed that 26-year-old Anna Ochoa was aggressive and abusive with her children. The caller added that Ochoa was particularly nasty with her 2-year-old son and made comments such as, “I’m going to hurt him because I am fed up with him,” and “I don’t love him.”

CPS looked into the the caller’s claim and discovered that the child had severe burns on his buttocks consistent with a stove’s burner. He also had bruises on his lower back and blisters on his lips and fingers.

When questioned, Ochoa admitted to burning her son because she had gotten upset over him wetting himself. She told investigators she removed her son’s clothing, turned on one of the burners on her stove and then held the boy over the hot burner.

She said she didn’t know how long she had held the boy over the burner but afterwards she got ready for work without tending to the boy’s injuries.…

Truman SchoolKANSAS CITY, MO – A mother who got angry with her son’s kindergarten teacher has been accused of hitting her in the face, jerking her hair, and then ramming the teacher’s head against a filing cabinet.

Kansas City police say the attack occurred Thursday afternoon after 24-year-old Simone Baker entered her son’s kindergarten classroom at Truman Elementary to talk to the teacher “about what her son stated (the teacher) did to him in class earlier today.”

Baker’s 6-year-old son had returned home from school with a scratch on his neck that he stated was inflicted by his teacher after he had gotten into trouble at school earlier that day.

The teacher reportedly told Baker that if she wanted to speak with her and the principal regarding her son, she needed to return on Friday. Instead, Baker went to the principal’s office where she reportedly created a scene.

“She came up to the school very irate,” said Ebony Walker, the school district’s spokeswoman. “The administration did everything they could do to keep her calm.…

Faith MasonPort Arthur, TX – This article was written by Gaucha in our Workshop forum. I will get this under their name once their account has been created. A one-month old is currently in a full body cast after being beaten and shaken so badly that her brain had shifted.

Faith Mason was brought to the hospital last month suffering from a plethora of injuries, including a broken neck, arms and legs. In addition, the baby had a lacerated liver, a ruptured kidney and her brain had shifted due to being violently shaken. Some of these injuries are reportedly weeks old.

Because of the severity of her injuries, Faith was flown to Texas Children’s Hospital in Houston and put in a full body cast and has not regained consciousness. The team taking care of Faith has stated that this is the worst case of child abuse they had ever seen.

Faith lived with her mother, 20-year-old Christine Johnson, her father, 17-year-old Darrell Mason, and Christine’s aunt, Linda Fields. To be honest, you could throw a dart at these three and whoever you managed to hit could possibly be the person responsible for Faith’s injuries.…

Ronald BurwellREDSTONE TOWNSHIP, PA – Most people recall fond memories of the ice cream trucks rolling through their neighborhood, but the only memories one 12-year-old girl in Pennsylvania will have of these musical, frozen treat dispensers is having been raped in one.

According to the affidavit, Ronald Burwell III and a 12-year-old girl were selling ice cream in June. The co-owner of this particular ride stated that drivers bringing kids along with them is something a lot of the drivers do. He also stated Burwell presented the girl as a family member, and had only been working for F & S Ice Cream for about three weeks. “She would call him ‘Dad’ around the yard when we were loading up trucks and things. There’s something bloodcurdlingly creepy going on there,”  the co-owner’s son said.

Ronald “Ronnie” Burwell’s activities were discovered after the girl and her mother went to the police on Wednesday, September 4th to report the sexual assault. The girl told detectives that a few days before the rape, she and Burwell were already going into the back of the ice cream truck kissing and discussing using protection during sex.…

Charles LewisDallas, TX – Two teenagers checking out an attractive woman in the car next to them helped save her from a kidnapper after she mouthed the words, “Help me” at the teens.

Aaron Arias, 19, and Jamal Harris, 17, first noticed the woman in the back seat of a car at a stoplight. They were checking her out because they thought she looked good, but the woman looked “panicked” and was mouthing “Help me” at the teens who noticed the driver of the car had turned to look back at them.

Arias called 911 and reported what was happening. “Yes, I’m on the highway,” Arias told the 911 dispatcher. “I’m witnessing a robbery; not a robbery — a kidnapping.”

The teens followed the woman’s car down U.S. 175 until police caught up with them and pulled the car over. Turns out that an hour earlier, the 25-year-old woman had been kidnapped after leaving a downtown office building.

Police say Charles Atkins Lewis Jr smacked her across the head with a pistol and forced her into her own car.…

peeping tomALBUQUERQUE, NM — A man is in critical condition after he got caught peeping into the window of two teenage girls, then got his naked ass beat by the girls’ father and brother.

The incident occurred at about 2:30 a.m. Thursday, when a man called 911 to report a naked Peeping Tom was caught outside his home, staring through a window at the caller’s 13- and 15-year-old daughters.

“The bushes were shaking. Then she heard groaning and moaning,” said the girls’ mother, Katrina Chavez. “My oldest son went out, said ‘What are you doing?’ and then discovered he was naked.”

Police say the girls’ dad, brother and a friend of the brother – ages 29, 19 and 19 – chased the naked man away from their home and down the street before a fight ensued. By time police arrived, the suspected pervert was found in the street, badly beaten.

The man was taken to the hospital and is in unstable, critical condition as of yesterday. So far the three men have not been arrested for putting the alleged prowler in the hospital, but the District Attorney is working with detectives to determine if they should be charged with a crime.…

Kelli and Issy StapletonKALAMAZOO, MI – Kelli Stapleton has been charged with attempted murder after police say the 45-year-old tried to kill herself and her 13-year-old autistic daughter.

Police said Kelli Stapleton and her daughter, Isabelle, were found Tuesday after having suffered from carbon monoxide poisoning. Kelli was released from the hospital on Thursday, but Isabelle remains unconscious and in critical condition. Doctors fear she may have suffered permanent brain damage.

Matt Stapleton reported his wife and daughter missing Tuesday afternoon after receiving a “disconcerting, despondent” phone message from Kelli and found their van was gone from their home.

Police found mother and daughter unconscious inside the smoke-filled van in a rural area nearby. Kelli had lit a portable charcoal grill inside the van, then locked the doors and closed the windows.

Kelli regained consciousness quickly but has not been forthcoming with police in regards to her motives. Taking a look at her blog, The Status Woe, doesn’t make it too hard to figure out.

In her last entry, dated Sept 3rd, Kelli states she is suffering from a “severe case of battle fatigue” and was upset after learning Isabelle would not be allowed to attend a local school program.…

Roman PirozekBrooklyn, NY -Law-enforcement officials say 19-year-old Roman Pirozek Jr. was partially-decapitated by his own remote-controlled helicopter at a Brooklyn park Thursday afternoon.

The incident happened around 3:30 p.m. at Calvert Vaux Park while Pirozek, a remote-controlled helicopter enthusiast known for his aggressive flying, was with his father performing a trick with his model helicopter.

The $2000 helicopter (the one pictured) ended up striking Pirozek, cutting off the top of his head, slashing his throat, and shearing off part of his shoulder. He was killed instantly.

Pirozek was an avid model helicopter enthusiast and the vice-president of the Seaview Rotary Wings, a Brooklyn-based model helicopter flying club. His Facebook page and Youtube channel feature several videos of himself flying helicopters.

In one of his Youtube clips, Roman Pirozek shows his skill piloting his Trex 700 helicopter, ending with a trick that may have been a lot like the one that killed him. The trick involves Pirozek dropping the helicopter from the sky, then restarting inches from his head.

Feel real bad for the dad, but at least his son didn’t partially decapitate himself with piano wire he was using to protect some pot plants.…

Judge Dean MattoonWATERLOO, NY – A judge in upstate New York was assaulted Friday night, beaten and choked with the lid from a discarded toilet, authorities say.

Judge Dean Mattoon told WSTM that Judge Roger Barto was assaulted as he locked up the court right around 10:00 pm. Waterloo police say Barto was attacked from behind by an assailant who used a toilet tank lid from a nearby garbage container. The toilet had recently been removed during building renovations. Bet inmates in Seneca County are having a field day with that particular tid bit.

Police officers found the judge lying near the front door of the entrance to the courtroom. Barto was transported to Rochester and treated at Strong Memorial Hospital, where he remained on Wednesday, five days after the attack. According to police, he’s listed in guarded condition. It wasn’t immediately known if there were any witnesses to the crime, but if you see a guy running around carrying half a shitter, Waterloo Police would like to hear from you.

Authorities say that Barto had been presiding over an arraignment concerning serious traffic violations, but they aren’t saying that the arraignment is linked to the beating.…

Helen Marie NewsomeLANDOVER, MD – A woman has been accused of breaking into her ex-boyfriend’s home where she tried to kill the man’s 8-year-old son.

Police say 26-year-old Helen Marie Newsome broke into her ex-boyfriend’s home early Saturday morning intent on killing his 8-year-old son. After the boy’s father went to work, Newsome allegedly went into the young boy’s bedroom and attacked him while he was sleeping.

According to Andy Amaya, the boy’s father, Newsome first tried to smother his son with a pillow, but the boy responded by head-butting her. Newsome switched tactics and grabbed a dumbbell she used to hit boy on the head. Andy said that his son takes karate lessons and was able to use some of what he had learned to karate chop Newsome before she came at him with a knife. The boy was able to kick her away and then run to a neighbor’s for help.

The boy was taken to the hospital where he received eight stitches on his head and then released, say police.…

Christie BlackBULLS GAP, TN — This one happened last week while I was on vacation, but there was no way I was passing up a story about a woman wrecking her rectum with a toilet brush.

A woman was hospitalized last week after stealing $5,000 from her boyfriend and then trying to use a toilet brush to remove the stolen money from her ass.

Police were called to a home where a man said his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend, 43-year-old Christie Black, had stolen $5000 dollars. The man told police he’d suspected Black had been stealing from him so he set a trap for Black by placing two envelopes containing $5,000 in $100 bills in an old medicine bag that he then placed on a foosball table.

The man went to bed, only to wake up later to find Black was still awake and the medicine bag was missing. When he confronted Black about the missing money, Black reportedly became ill and puked up a baggy containing partially dissolved pills.

When he asked if his missing money would be coming up next, she explained that it might, just not from that end.…

pot leafBerne, NY – A 50-year-old New York man died the other day after a booby trap he’d placed to protect some pot plants turned his ass into a human Pez dispenser.

Albany County Sheriff Craig Apple said Daniel Ricketts was driving an ATV in the backyard of his property around 2:30 p.m. Saturday when he ran into a heavy gauge wire that had been placed at neck height.

The heavy gauge wire was one of several booby traps Ricketts had set up to protect four marijuana plants he planted on his property. Ricketts was nearly decapitated by the wire and died after being thrown from his ATV. Apple says alcohol may have been a factor in the accident.

Police found several other traps Ricketts had placed to protect his sweat leaf, including a barbed wire trap and a leg trap similar to those used to trap coyotes. The marijuana plants were removed from the property on Saturday, but so far there have been no arrests.

Sheriff Apple said it’s common for people to use the rural hills in the area to grow pot.…