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Couple Accused Of Kidnapping, Assaulting Teen For Making 6-Year-Old CryThree Teens Charged With The Beating Deaths Of Two Homeless MenMan Accused Of Forcing Child To Ingest MethMan Caught In The Act Of Molesting Child Gets Severe BeatdownMan Slit Girl's Throat After She Convinced Mom To Break Up With HimToothless Man Accused Of Gumming Roommate After She Refused To Clean His EarTerry Davis Accused Of Molesting Female Rottweiler PuppyMatthew Durham Accused Of Sexually Abusing Children At Kenyan OrphanageTom Greer, 80, Has No Regrets About Shooting Pregnant Intruder To DeathParents Claim Son Committed Suicide After Masturbation Video Went Viral

In The Mean Time...

Las Vegas, NV –Last year I posted about Carl Guilford, the teenager who claimed the devil made him suffocate his 6-year-old cousin to death and then later stab his cellmate to death with a pencil. On Monday, he pleaded not guilty.

His attorney, Deputy Public Defender Norman Reed, intends to argue that his client is not guilty by reason of insanity even though his client was determined to be sane enough to stand trial.

For those of you who may have missed this story when we reported it last August, Guilford, then 18-years-old, was arrested and charged with suffocating his 6-year-old cousin. He said that after he killed the boy, the Devil told him “well done.”

After being arrested for that murder, he was placed in a cell at the Clark County Detention Center with Francesco Sanfilippo, a 39-year-old who had gotten busted possessing child pornography.

A few weeks later, Guilford attacked Sanfilippo as he sat at a table and began stabbing the man in the neck with a pencil.…

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Anderson, IN — The citizens of a southern Indiana county are breathing a collective sigh of relief that Republican Councilman David McCartney is (still) on the job. This after McCartney revealed that a string of sexually explicit emails he sent to a female colleague were part of a ruse he devised to expose corruption.

The interest in the Councilman’s emails began with a heated debate over taxes in February. This led to taxpayers requesting access to email records for the Madison County Councilmen and the County Recorder. While reviewing the emails for discussion related to the tax, taxpayers were surprised to find sexually explicit emails between McCartney – who is married – and a female assessor from another county.

“You are too sweet, just so happens you taste sweet as well.” McCartney said in an email dated Feb. 21.

My first inclination – as, I believe, many others – would be to overlook his scintillatingly erotic banter and leave the attention to the investigators looking into the matter. Sadly for McCartney, though, it appears the public’s willingness to ignore his transgressions evaporated with his claim that the email above – and the rest of his sexually-charged exchange – were not personal but, rather, part of an elaborate scheme to uncover corruption in Madison County.…

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Troy, NY - Police say that Thomas McMartin, 56, made their job a bit easier after he photographed himself while installing a hidden camera in a women’s locker room at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute.

On March 8, a woman reportedly noticed something strange on the ceiling of the RPI women’s swim team locker room. She contacted RPI authorities. According to court documents, Troy police detectives investigating the case found the hidden camera to contain – before a collection of photos of victims – a photograph of McMartin placing the camera in its hidden location.

“The camera took a picture of the defendant in the process of mounting the camera,” said Captain John Cooney of the Troy Police Department.

As McMartin worked at RPI in maintenance, he wasn’t hard to find. RPI said that McMartin’s duties would not have placed him in the locker room for any reason. RPI has since fired McMartin.

Police said that it was unclear how long the camera had been set up. Cooney said that police are in the process of notifying the “umpteen” women that are on the recordings.…

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WINTHROP HARBOR, IL – A 17-year-old has been arrested and charged with sexually abusing children at his mother’s day care.

Brett Degler has been accused of sexually abusing three young girls, two 11-year-olds and a 4-year-old, since November of last year.

A two week police investigation began after the 4-year-old told her parents that it hurt to urinate and that “Brett did it.” Her parents took her to the hospital and then contacted police when it was revealed the girl had been sexually assaulted.

The girl was able to detail when and how she was abused durin an interview that lead police to a second victim. Degler admitted to assaulting a third victim during a police interview following his arrest a day later. The abuse had been ongoing for at least five months and took place when his mother was in another room of the house or at the store.

His mother, Cheryl Degler, has run a residential day-care for nearly 30 years and p0lice say she has cared for the children of children she cared for in the past.…

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MORGAN HILL, CA - Police have located the cell phone belonging to Sierra Lamar, the 15-year-old who went missing after walking to her bus stop last Friday morning.

Lamar was first reported missing by her family when she failed return home from school and then later found to have never attended school that day at all. The bus driver stated they never saw Lamar that morning.

That weekend, police search nearby creek beds and fields. Police dogs were also used in an attempt to track Lamar’s movements that morning, but they lost her scent at her driveway.

On Sunday, police found her cell phone in a field a few miles from her home by tracking its electronic ping. They are now looking at the phone’s contents as well as her laptop. Her Twitter and Facebook accounts have not been used since the day she went missing.

On Tuesday, police went door to door in Lamar’s neighborhood and are checking up on 276 registered offenders in the area. Her father, Steve Lamar, has a sex crime conviction but been cleared in his daughter’s disappearance.…

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New Haven, CT - Michael Wallace, 40, was arrested Saturday after continuously pounding his wife with a six-pack of beer and a coffee pot.

Police officers were dispatched to the couple’s home  after receiving a complaint of domestic violence. Wallace’s common law wife, Chastiny Atkinson, had several visible bruises from the attack.

Atkinson confirmed that Wallace was intoxicated when he began arguing with her over “two dudes that don’t even exist.” He was unsatisfied with the damage caused by the coffee pot he started beating her with so he proceeded to pick up a six-pack of beer and began beating her with that as well.

He then ripped hair from her head and began choking her. Before fleeing the scene, Wallace warned her that if she called the police, he would seek retribution. Police were called back to the scene two hours later after a report that Wallace was trying to enter the home. Wallace was located in his car several blocks away.

His side of the story is a little different than Atkinson’s.…

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Muncie, Ind. – A mother in Indiana was arrested after she allegedly whipped her son with an extension cord after the teen got in trouble for wearing saggy pants at school.

Yolanda Womack, 40, was not too pleased with her 15-year-old son getting into a bit of trouble at his high school for letting his ass hang out. She instructed the boy to remove all of his clothes so she could whip him, a request the teen denied.

Not letting a bit of clothing come between some discipline, Womack began whipping her son with an extension cord anyway.  The teen tried to fend off the blows and ran to a neighbor’s home for help.

When police arrived, they found a teen in pain and a mother who may have taken things just a bit too far. According to police, the teen was suffering from welts across his chest, back, both arms and above his left eye. Some of these injuries were bleeding.

Womack admitted to police that she had whipped her son and was promptly arrested for neglect of a dependent.…

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RIVERTON, UT – Police have arrested an ex-con for the murder of 15-year-old Annie Kasprzak, allegedly after she refused to have sex with him.

Kasprzak was last seen seen on March 10 after walking out of her home. The family tried locating the teen that same night using GPS to track the location of Kasprzak’s cellphone, but the signal went dead before they could find her. Kasprzak’s bruised and bloody body would be pulled from the Jordan river on March 11.

On March 18, a witness came forward claiming to have seen 31-year-old Daniel Robert Lehi Ferry beat Kasprzak unconscious inside a home after she refused to have sex with him. The witness told them they watched Ferry place Kasprzak’s unconscious body in a vehicle. Police searched the home of the alleged assault and found blood consistent with blood found near a pedestrian bridge over the Jordan River where one of Kasprzak’s tennis shoes had been located.

Ferry was taken into custody and is currently being held on suspicion of first-degree felony murder and some outstanding warrants.…

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Bridgeton, NJ — In response to presumed claims of police brutality by local news media, the Chief of Police in Bridgeton New Jersey has declared as justified the use of pepper-spray to subdue a woman at a 7-Eleven. Police took the opportunity to provide additional details of the tense situation that existed at the time of the incident.

Bridgeton Police Chief Mark Ott said that a panic alarm was activated a 7-Eleven on West Broad Street at 3:05 a.m. An armed response team officer was immediately dispatched to the scene.

The responding officer reported that – as he pulled into the parking lot – he saw Brittany C. Glanville, 25, ‘wing’ an item at the head of the clerk on duty. The police report lauded the intended victim by saying “with quick reflexes the clerk was able to snatch the item out of the air and avoid being hit.” As the officer began to enter the store, he described Glanville attempting to climb over the counter to reach the clerk. She was subdued and arrested.…

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Phoenix, AZ – Sergio Velderrain, 31, was arrested by Phoenix police faster than you can spell D-U-M-B-A-S-S after admitting to drinking Four Loko and then urinating on his 4-month-old son’s face and body.

The baby’s mother, Jennifer Velderrain, told a local news reporter that she woke up after hearing what sounded like running water.

“I looked over and he was in the corner peeing all over [our] son,” said Jennifer.

Jennifer Velderrain said she jumped out of bed and grabbed their son, Greyson, who she said was choking because Velderrain had peed on his face and mouth causing his airway to be blocked. Jennifer Velderrain said her husband then told her “now he has something to remember his dad by.” You can see a photo of the little pee-soaked snookums here.

Jennifer Velderrain said that she immediately called 911, telling her husband “He would have something to remember too for a long time – that he did that to his son.”

Police arrested Sergio Velderrain after finding him at a nearby apartment.…

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Barrington, IL – It’s nothing I haven’t done.  You see a couple of teenage girls out in bad weather and you do the neighborly thing and offer them a ride home.  But, if you are a male in the Barrington area, such thoughtfulness is ill-advised and, according to the local prosecutor, downright illegal… even if you have great hair.

It was during a March 2nd snow storm that the man pictured left, Rodney Peterson, had stopped for gas at a Shell station.  While there, he noticed two teen girls leaving.  “I just noticed these girls, that they had no umbrella, no coats or hood or something of that nature and I just felt like I should help,” Peterson recalled.  So, he did what any decent person (or opportunistic predator) would do and pulled up to offer them a ride.  “How far do you have to walk?” he asked before one said, “We’re okay,” and signaled him to move along.

The father of three (with a fourth on the way) continued home to his family and thought little of the encounter. …

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LOWER ALLEN TOWNSHIP, PA – A man in Pennsylvania is facing assault charges after he took his frustration a bit too far and punched a woman several times following a road rage incident.

Police say that last Tuesday, 44-year-old Stephen Kramer got pissed after he was cut off in traffic by a 31-year-old woman. He was so pissed that he followed the woman to a Gold’s Gym and began screaming at her in the parking lot.

As they both entered the gym, witnesses say Kramer punched the lady several times, knocking her to the floor. Other gym members subdued Kramer until police arrived.

The woman was taken to the hospital for facial injuries while Kramer was taken to jail on charges of aggravated assault, simple assault, disorderly conduct, harassment and recklessly endangering another person.

Lord knows I have wanted to punch my fair share of women drivers because let’s be honest, you all suck at driving, but so far I have not acted on my impulses. What? Oh, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean you specifically.…

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Man Dies After Being Buried Under Pinto Beans

March 19, 2012 at 9:09 am by  

BRUSH, CO - An employee at Kelly Bean Co. died last Thursday after he was buried under a pile of pinto beans.

So far there is no word on exactly how the accident happened, but what is being reported is that 56-year-old Raymond Segura, Jr. was buried under a pile of pinto beans 15-20 feet high.

It took almost an hour for rescuers to dig him out, but by then it was too late, the poor guy had suffocated to death.

Police, OSHA investigators, and Kelley’s safety team are investigating how Segura managed to get buried. He had worked at the warehouse for 12 to 15 years.

Now let’s sit back and see how many idiots crack a  “beaner” joke because they think it’s clever.…

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Waterbury, CT - Catalina Reyes, 54, was arrested after police say a baby was found hidden in a home daycare center crawlspace during an investigation of overcrowding. The D’D shocker… the baby was alive and unharmed.

According to reports, the Department of Public Health received a report that Reyes’ center was overcrowded. On March 14, an inspector was dispatched to the center to investigate. After a four-hour-long investigation, the inspector reportedly heard crying that could not be ascribed to the children identified to be in Reyes’ care.

The source of the crying?! …a 6-month-old baby who was reportedly hidden behind a locked door in a basement crawlspace so that Reyes’ center could meet ratio during the inspection. Police said the child – who was strapped in a car seat – had no supervision, food, or drink throughout the time of the inspection.

In an apparent indication of the importance of convenient childcare when compared to, say, the health and well-being of their children, some of Reyes’ clientele have come out in support of her efforts.…

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Tampa, FL — Steve Lott, 30, was taken into custody Tuesday after he apparently called 911 to report he had cut his neighbor with a “big-ass knife” because the man had entered his home.

When police arrived on scene, they found 56-year-old Tony Jackson suffering from a massive wound to the gut. So massive, police say, his internal organs and intestines were visible and/or falling out.

According to investigators, after a long standing dispute with Jackson, Lott had finally had enough and walked over to the man’s home and opened up his gut with his big-ass, razor-sharp knife.

Police say Lott resisted arrest and was tasered while being taken into custody. And though he later admitted to quarreling with Jackson, he denied stabbing the guy. Lott is now facing charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and resisting an officer without violence.

Prosecutors have asked for increased bond, calling Lott a habitual violent offender. (Lott spent a year in prison after he was convicted of assaulting a pregnant woman with a deadly weapon and holding her captive in his home back in ’07).…

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The Pulpit of Doom Drunkcast Numero Six

March 18, 2012 at 12:15 pm by  

Here, Now – Thanks to everyone who showed up to the 6th episode of the Pulpit of Doom Drunkcast to do some drinking with Morbid, Jaded, Athena and later in the show, Kniption — who was drunk long before he called in. You can listen to the episode here. For those unaware, the drunkcasts are like our Wednesday show, just infused with copious amounts of alcohol.

Gonna have to admit, I think this may have been the drunkest of shows and not your average crime related podcast. The show began showing signs of smoke with my very first sentence, a sentence that contained “um” not 30 seconds after I bet Jaded I would not use “um” in the entire podcast. Flames were spotted right around the time Jaded mentioned Captain Cunt, and reports of a fiery object falling from the sky started coming in right around the time Kniption called in and we began talking about eating your dead spouse.

Somewhere along the way, we discuss murder suicide in front of the kiddos, drunken Amish drag racing, Ouija boards and the people who believe the debil can make you do it, the deadly nature of a Jack in the Box breakfast sandwich, Kony 2012 and how everyone thinks they’re an activist with the click of a mouse, slipping into something a bit more comfortable inside your neighbor’s house, the horrible death of Tori Stafford, how our site may have scared some mothers into shoving their children back up their vaginas for protection, and much, much more.…

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Banks, OR – Lawrence Staley, 48, was arrested after ballistics testing linked him to a breakfast sandwich that struck a Forest Grove Jack In The Box employee in the back of the head. Well… that and just about everyone in the restaurant saw him throw it.

The melee reportedly began when drive-thru customer Staley - enraged upon realizing that his curly fries cost more than regular fries – entered the restaurant to complain. Capt. Mike Herb the Forest Grove Police Department spokesman, said that the employee explained the price difference and gave Staley a complementary order of regular fries in addition to the curly fries that he already was holding.

Clearly unsatisfied, Staley reportedly, “reached into his bag, grabbed a food item [of unknown caliber] and pitched it at the employee.” Staley missed. According to reports, Staley then produced a loaded Breakfast Jack sandwich (283 calories, 11g fat, 4g saturated fat, and 16g of protein) and “launched it at the employee.” This time, luck would not be with Staley’s intended victim.  …

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Weslaco, TX — A 15-year-old boy accused of poking a hole in his pal’s gut is apparently trying to convince police an Ouija board made him do it.

The teen was hanging out with a couple friends late last month, when he allegedly stabbed the 14-year-old victim in the gut with a 4-inch knife, causing a severe laceration to the boy’s intestine.

Afterwards, police say, the alleged stabber walked the stabbee to a nearby auto repair shop, where an ambulance was summoned.

A third teen claims to have witnessed the pokin’, and later told police he heard the alleged stabber tell the victim to pretend he had fallen on the blade.

The 15-year-old, who police say has no criminal background or questionable mental health history, reportedly told police he poked his friend because an Ouija board commanded it.

Weslaco police spokesman J.P. Rodriguez admits that the case is “a little eerie” but said investigators believe the boy used the Ouija board to rationalize the attack.

“He actually believed what the Ouija board advised him, that the friend was the cause of his problems,” Rodriguez said.…

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Bethlehem, PA — A 52-year-old man was taken into custody earlier this week after police say his neighbor found him inside her home, watching porn while wearing a pair of her frillies.

The woman told police she left her house for about 25 minutes Monday evening, and when she returned, the panty-clad man known to her as “Mike” was sitting on her couch watching a porn he had apparently brought into the home with him.

Mike, later identified as Michael Zullo, then asked the woman if she “wanted to party” and said that he had brought along some cocaine and marijuana.

Mike must have been butt-ugly — the woman declined his offer and called the police instead.

Denied, Mike removed the party pooper’s panties, tossed ‘em on the floor and exited the home, leaving his “party favors” in her kitchen.

Zullo, who reportedly admitted to being inside the woman’s home without her permission, was booked on charges of criminal trespass, possession of cocaine, possession of a small amount of marijuana, loitering and prowling at night and open lewdness.…

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Sherman, NY – New York state sheriff deputies responding to a report of an underage drinking on a rural road presumably faced imminent death when – upon turning on to the road in question – they encountered several Amish buggies heading directly toward them in both lanes at a high rate of speed. Chautauqua County Sheriff Joe Gerace said Monday that there was, “reason to believe” that the buggies were racing.

Police noted that the drivers – who were jockeying for position while using both lanes of the roadway – tried to steer around the patrol vehicle. One of the buggies was unsuccessful, colliding with the patrol car and rolling onto its side in a horrific spectacle of illegal street racing.

A passenger in the ill-fated buggy, Marvin Byler, 19, sustained minor injuries when his leg was trapped underneath. The operator of the flipped buggy, Marty Troyer, 20, and a second passenger, Marianne Troyer, 18, were not injured. The horse became separated from the buggy and ran into a nearby pit area barn.…

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