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In The Mean Time...

Couple Accused Of Starving Their 9 Month Old BabyPhoenix, AZ — A couple of shitstains out in Phoenix were arrested this week for allegedly neglecting and/or refusing to feed their 9-month-old son. Kid tipped the scales at a whoppin’ 7 pounds during a recent medical exam.

On March 19, when the child was seen by medical staff, his father, 32-year-old Ryan Morris, reportedly told police he had not been fed since the beginning of March.

Mom, 27-year-old Veronica Diaz, reportedly told police she ran out of formula on March 12, and had been giving the child one bottle of water during the day and a little bit of regular milk before bed up until the 19th.

When asked why she didn’t feed the child, Diaz first responded with “I don’t know.” At which point I would have lunged across the table and pummeled her stupid face. She then claimed that she had no money. And, dammit, she had four other kids that had to be fed and taken care of, so she just kinda “gave up” on the littlest one.…

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Cameo Crispi Jailed After Attempting To Set Fire To Exs House With BaconNaples, UT — A 31-year-old woman has been arrested after allegedly attempting to burn down her ex-boyfriend’s home by intentionally leaving a pound of bacon burning on a gas stove.

GUILTY! OFF WITH HER HEAD!

It all started when Cameo Crispi’s ex called police on March 14 to complain that he had received numerous texts and phone calls from her within the range of one hour, and he really wanted her to knock it the fuck off already. He also told police he didn’t want Crispi at his home. Crispi. Heh.

An officer was dispatched to the man’s home and found smoke pouring out the front door. Inside, an “impaired” Crispi.

When the officer stepped inside the man’s home, he noticed a wood stove left open with a fire burning inside and hot coals on the floor around the stove. And on the kitchen stove, claimed the officer, there was a cookie sheet with about a pound of bacon on it. Now, bear with me, people….. this part of the story is extremely difficult for me.…

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Teen Used Handgun, Shotgun, Knife And Machete To Kill FamilyCOEUR d’ALENE, ID – Police have arrested 14-year-old Eldon Samuel III and charged him with the brutal murder of his father and younger brother.

Police say Samuel called 911 Monday night to report a shooting had occurred at his family’s home. When police arrived, they found Samuel at the residence, along with the dead bodies of his father, Eldon Samuel Jr., 46, and his younger brother, Jonathan Samuel, 13.

Authorities say a handgun, shotgun, knife and machete were used in the murders, and that Samuel shot his father in the head and then shot, stabbed and cut his younger brother.

Samuel was arrested at the scene and charged with two counts of first-degree murder. The Kootenai County Sheriff’s Office said the teen will be charged as an adult. Samuel is currently being held in the Kootenai County Public Safety Building on a $1 million bond.

Because I have written so many articles regarding teens killing family members, I have warned my kids that if I even perceive them as any form of a threat, I will beat them to death in their sleep without a moment’s hesitation.…

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Man Accused Of Hitting Girlfriend With His Anger Management BookSPARTANBURG, SC - A couple were arrested after a man was accused of hitting his girlfriend with his anger management book and she was accused of stabbing him with a boxcutter.

Police were called to a home Monday night on a domestic disturbance call and found 23-year-old Tyler Ford suffering from a deep cut on his forearm while his girlfriend, 22-year-old Sheelah Thompson, had a bump on her forehead.

Thompson told police that she and Ford got into an argument over their relationship while watching a movie. Thompson said her boyfriend strangled her, hit her with his rolled up anger management book and threatened to kill her.

She added that Ford put her phone in the oven to prevent her from calling for help and “popped” their infant daughter on the legs because she was crying.

Ford’s story was a little different and painted Thompson as the instigator of the argument, as well as the winner of the fight that ensued. He claimed the argument started after he began asking Thompson why she purposely tries to anger him, knowing he takes anger management classes.…

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Teacher Accused Of Giving Teen Student Blowjob In Her ClassroomHouston, TX – A Texas middle school teacher is facing sexual assault charges after she was accused of giving a 15-year-old student a blowjob in her classroom.

According to Harris County court documents, police began investigating 43-year-old Corrie Anne Long after a student at Hopper Middle School informed staff that they’d witnessed some odd behavior between Long and one of her math students. They said they witnessed the student smack the teacher on the ass, and had seen Long sitting on the boy’s lap.

When police talked to the student allegedly involved in an appropriate relationship with Long, he told them he had known long since sixth-grade, and that she performed oral sex on him in her classroom last November. After hugging the boy’s penis with her mouth, she told him not to tell anyone or she would lose her job.

Long,  who’s been with the school district since 2002, was subsequently removed from her position at the school and is currently on administrative leave. She is not allowed back on campus pending the outcome of the police investigation.…

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Autumn Glick Arrested After Assaulting Elderly Man At Lowes For Cutting In LineCAPE CORAL, FL –  Autumn Glick is facing a felony charges after the 32-year-old allegedly got upset with an elderly customer at Lowe’s and assaulted him in the parking lot.

On March 20th, police were called to the store after a verbal confrontation between two customers turned violent. It reportedly started  after Glick accused an elderly man of cutting in line at the holding area in the store’s garden area.

Glick began verbally assaulted the man and followed him into the parking lot where she jumped into the bed of the man’s pickup truck and began tossing bags of mulch out of the bed he’d just purchased. Witnesses say she also slapped and kicked the man before leaving.

Several witnesses at the scene described the incident to police, and they were provided with clear cellphone video of the assault that helped them identify Glick as their suspect. When officers arrived at her home, she refused to come out and talk to them because she said she knew she would be arrested and she had no one to care for her children until her husband got home from work.…

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Couple Arrested After Beating 7 Year Old Boy With Metal Pipe For Eating FunyunsPHOENIX, AZ – Police have arrested the mother and stepfather of a 7-year–old boy and accused them both of beating him with a metal pipe.

According to authorities, the boy got into trouble after his mother, Franchesca Castro, picked him up from daycare and found an empty bag of Funyuns in one of the boy’s pockets. He explained that another boy at the daycare had given him the snack, but for reasons unexplained, Castro became very upset.

When they arrived home, Castro told the boy’s stepfather, 25-year-old Jay Cason, about the grievous offense the boy had committed. She then began beating the kid with a large, metal pipe. When she was done, she tagged Cason who entered the ring and beat the boy with the pipe as well.

After he was finished, Cason instructed the boy to go put some ice on his ass. When the boy dropped some ice, Cason hit him again.

No word on who called the Phoenix Fire Department, but four days later they responded to a report of a boy with severe injuries to his back.…

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Woman Torches Mans Car After He Refuses To Buy Her A McFlurryJacksonville, FL — According to witnesses, a woman torched a man’s car after he refused to buy her a McFlurry early Sunday morning. No word on what flavor the pouty bitch wanted…

“They were going at it,” Sabryna Maré said of the couple who was standing behind her in line. “She was saying she wanted this and wanted that, and she wanted either a McFlurry or an ice cream on top and he was not in for it. Then he was yelling at her saying he’s not going to do it.”

And then, well….

Witnesses claim hearing the identified woman tell the unidentified man that she was going to “blow it up.” She grabbed the keys to the man’s 1994 El Dorado and ran outside. Armed with alcohol and gasoline, though no one really knows where she got it, the woman started pouring. Then, the match… because she apparently didn’t have what it takes to cut the man’s dick off.

Witnesses attempted to help the man put the flames out, but the car was “engulfed” by the time firefighters arrived.…

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Drunk Woman Shows Up Naked To Visit Jailed Husband, Gets Her Own CellReston, VA – An inebriated 26-year-old woman was arrested Saturday evening after allegedly showing up at the Arlington Magistrate’s Office in her birthday suit, hoping to see her recently incarcerated hubby.

It is unclear as to whether Maura Fussell had been clothed at some point before entering the building, or whether she arrived all nekkid. Either way, she was bare. And drunk.

Officers apparently gave her many opportunities to put some damn clothes on, or at least take a cab home, but Fussell reportedly refused.

That refusal earned her an overnight stay at the old Graybar Hotel. She’s been charged with indecent exposure and drunk in public. I’m assuming they released her after she sobered up a bit.

No word on what landed hubby in the slammer.…

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Man Wanted For Sucking Womans Toes At WalmartLincolnton, NC — Ladies! And guys with pretty feet, maybe. If the dude in the picture to the left approaches you as you stroll through the shoe aisle at Walmart and feeds you some line, like, “Hey, I’m a future podriatist! Can I have a peek at your piggies?” Just. Say. No. Chances are, he’s not a real podiatrist. *gasp* Those gynecology students that you run into at the Taco Bell, though? Totally legit.

This creep apparently struck up the “I’m studying podiatry” conversation with a woman inside the Linconlton Walmart Monday, and somehow convinced her to try on several pairs of shoes. As she was doing so, police say, the man got the woman’s foot to his mouth and began sucking on her toes. Without even wiping them down with a Handi Wipe or something. He fled the store after the woman yanked her foot from his grasp.

Police soon learned the man had attempted another toe sucking at a nearby Walmart just a short time before this alleged incident.…

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McDonalds Bathroom Peeper Arrested After Getting Stuck Under Stall DoorMemphis, TN — After brazenly following a woman into the women’s room at a McDonald’s restaurant Thursday, and attempting to reach out and grab her from under the stall door, this tubby skeeve could do little more than grunt and wiggle after getting himself stuck between the bottom of the door and the nasty floor.

The alleged victim told police she was using the toilet when Ronald Henderson’s derpy face appeared under the door. She screamed at him to get out, she said, but he kept coming… trying to grab her leg. At some point during this creepy fucking scene, Henderson got stuck. It was then that the victim made her escape.

No details about how or when Henderson managed to free himself from under the door, or if he was still there when police arrived, but after the victim positively identified him at the scene, Henderson was transported to jail. He’s been charged with assault and observation without consent. Bond was set at $100.

The more I think about it, the more I wonder if the police got the right man.…

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Woman Charged After Attempting To Slice Hubbys Penis Off With Box Cutter New Castle, PA – Lisa Jones-Orock, 39, was arrested Friday after allegedly attempting to remove her husband’s penis with a box cutter.

When authorities responded to the couple’s home, Lisa insisted that her husband, 56-year-old Gerald Orock, was the aggressor in the physical confrontation. Accused of attacking her with a knife, Mr. Orock was placed under arrest.

Once at the cop shop, though, police learned that while Mr. Orock wasn’t exactly a saint, he was the victim in this particular case. Police say he had cuts to his arms and hands that appeared to be defensive wounds. His jeans had been cut near the crotch area and there wera a few cuts on his legs. Kinda backed his claims that Lisa was the crazy one — she’d tried to slice his dick off.

Lisa was taken into custody and charged with aggravated assault, simple assault and harassment. And because a small bag of pot was found in her purse, possession of marijuana. She also had an outstanding bench warrant for DUI,

Gerald was kept behind bars for possession of marijuana and for violating a protection from abuse order his wife had previously taken out.…

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Mother, Aunt Charged After Baby Drinks Six Shots Of VodkaHOUSTON, TX – The mother and aunt of a 1-year-old girl are both facing charges after the little girl was admitted to the hospital suffering from alcohol poisoning.

On February 8, police were called to a home where a man said his young daughter had been dropped off by his mother and was now unresponsive. When emergency personnel arrived, they found the 1-year-old had turned into Jaded on any given day of the week; moaning, smelling of alcohol and covered in vomit.

The girl was taken to the hospital where it was determined she had suffered alcohol poisoning and a BAC of over .26. The girl’s father told police that she was like that when she’d been dropped off after being cared for by her mother, 17-year-old Shadreon Jefferson and Jefferson’s sister, 24-year-old Shamara Batiste.

When deputies interviewed Jefferson, she told them she’d fallen asleep and woke up to find that Batiste had given the girl about six shots of vodka. Instead of taking the girl to the hospital, they simply dropped the baby girl off at her father’s home to let him deal with it.…

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James Guy Bull Accused Of Raping 8 Month Old PuppyDaytona Beach, FL — A 61-year-old man has been charged with two counts of animal cruelty after neighbors told police they had seen him sexually assault his 8-month-old puppy multiple times.

When police made contact with the neighbors, they were informed that James Guy Bull had been seen digitally penetrating the pup on more than one occasion, causing the animal to yelp and holler. On another occasion, the witnesses claimed, Bull was seen sitting on a chair on his porch, pants around his ankles, with his junk all up in the dog’s rear end. Again, the dog could be heard whining and crying. When Bull realized he had an audience, he simply put the dog down and pulled up his draws.

No word on why, if they had seen this shit on multiple occasions, they didn’t inform police prior to this.

The dog was found chained to a post on the porch without food, shelter or water. She was skittish and emaciated, police say, and had a very swollen vagina.…

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Man Fatally Stabs Boss After His Photo Is Taken And Posted On Internet Without PermissionBoca Raton, FL – Dimitrios Karaloukas , owner of Jimmy the Greek Taverna in Boca Raton, was stabbed to death by an employee last week after the stabby guy learned Karaloukas has posted a photo of him on the internet.

Tilus Lebrun, who is not pictured here because he still looks really pissed off and stabby in his mugshot and it’s Florida so he might make bail at some point, apparently stabbed 61-year-old Karaloukas inside the Taverna Thursday evening as horrified dinner guests looked on. Karaloukas was stabbed three times on his left side and once in his back, police say.

An unidentified male employee at the restaurant was also stabbed several times. His condition is unknown at this time.

When police arrived on scene, they found Lebrun outside of the restaurant, wearing an apron and holding a large knife. When questioned about the alleged attack, Lebrun told authorities, “I killed him because he took my photograph on March 2nd and posted it on the internet.”

Lebrun, 36, has been charged with first degree premeditated murder and murder while engaged in a certain felony offense.…

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Man Accused Of Molesting Teen With Raw Meat To Cleanse Her Of Evil SpiritsStaten Island, NY — A 42-year-old man is facing numerous charges after allegedly molesting a 15-year-old girl by rubbing raw meat on her naked body in order to cleanse her of the evil spirits that were making her moody.

Alleged “spiritual leader” Rafael Paulino, aka Omi Chango, apparently met with a female relative of the teen and explained that he would rub raw meat on the girl’s body and pour water on her after he had cut her clothes off in order to spiritually cleanse her. This ritual, he told the woman, was not for entertainment or amusement. He was simply going to attempt to rid the child of the evil spirit that was making her depressed.

The female relative agreed to the cleansing and shelled out $121. It is believed that she wanted a cleansing, too. Not sure if that was the price for the both of ‘em, or if maybe he was having a special that week.

On February 24, Paulino met with the girl and got busy fixin’ her depression.…

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Frustrated Teen Father Accused Of Biting Off Part Of Infant Sons NoseFairfield, CA — An 18-year-old father, frustrated by his infant son’s crying, has been jailed after allegedly biting at least one third of the child’s nose off. That’ll teach the little fucker, eh?

Police received a call from the infant’s hysterical 17-year-old mother Thursday, who stated that her child was bleeding profusely from the nose. Or what was left of it, anyway….

An examination of the child revealed a skull fracture, a brain hemorrhage and the injury to the nose. They soon learned that the child’s father, Joshua Cooper, was the responsible party. Police determined Joshua chewed on the kid’s face because he wouldn’t shut up.

He’s been charged with child cruelty and aggravated mayhem. The investigation to determine how the child sustained the skull fracture and brain hemorrhage is ongoing.

The infant is said to be in stable condition.…

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Andrew Ward Stabbed 12 Year Old Brother To Death Because He Just Felt Like KillingPHOENIX, AZ — Police arrested 27-year-old Andrew Ward after he admitted he’d stabbed his 12-year-old half-brother to death in the family’s home.

On Wednesday morning, Andrew Ward called 911 from a convenience store claiming he had stabbed someone without going into any further details. When police arrived and detained Andrew, he had blood on his hands and clothes, had a knife in his pocket, and appeared out of it.

He told police the person he stabbed could be found in his family’s home nearby. When police entered the home, they found Andrew’s younger brother, 12-year-old Austin Tapia, dead from multiple stab wounds.

At about this time, the mother arrived home with her two teenage daughters and was informed that her older son had killed Austin. She told police they were returning from dinner and that Austin had opted not to go with them. She said as they were leaving, they saw Andrew returning home on foot.

Family members said Andrew has a history of violence and substance abuse, but police said Ward told them nothing happened between him and Austin that led to him stabbing the boy as he played video games.…

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Distressed Man Found Wandering Near The A66 Searching For His Missing PenisEngland — A 40-year-old man is in a medically induced coma after being found wandering near the A66 in Middlesbrough, sans penis.

Not a lot of info on this one, but what the hell… I’m on a severed penis roll. wOOt.

The unidentified man, said to be “in a clear state of distress,” was apparently searching for his missing penis in some undergrowth when he was discovered by a passing motorist early Thursday morning.

Although police were hesitant to say out right that the man had his dick violently removed, they were forced to close a long stretch of the road for a few hours to conduct what appears to be a search for a missing penis. No word on whether it ever surfaced.

An unidentified 22-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of assault and questioned, but was soon released on bail. No further information on that, either.

Investigators still haven’t been able to speak the the alleged victim, coma and blood loss and all, but are asking the public to come forward with any information.…

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Two Teen Girls Accused Of Torturing Autistic Boy, Forced Him To Perform Sex Acts On AnimalMaryland – Police say two Maryland teenagers recorded themselves physically assaulting an autistic classmate and forcing him to perform sex acts, some with animals.

St. Mary County Sheriff’s Department said 17-year-old Lauren Bush and an unidentified 15-year-old girl admitted they assaulted the 16-year-old autistic boy with a knife on multiple occasions between December and February.

Sheriff Tim Cameron said all three teens attend Chopticon High School and that the girls preyed on the boy. They allegedly assaulted him with a knife, kicked him in the groin, dragged him by the hair, coerced him to engage in a sex act with an animal, and forced him to walk on a partially frozen pond where he fell through the ice.

The latter act being a possibly deadly one according to Sgt. Cara Grumbels. “You’re dealing with somebody who doesn’t have the mental capacity of you and I,” she said. “Somebody like that could go into a kiddie pool and may not be able to get themselves out. That’s what’s really kind of disturbing to us, among the other allegations in this case.…

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