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In The Mean Time...

RatPoison1Brooklyn, NY – Two boys, ages 9 and 12, have been arrested after they allegedly put rat poison pellets in their teacher’s water bottle.

According to reports, the boys were at PS 315 in Flatbush on Monday when they decided to spice up one of their teacher’s water with some poison. The boys were busted after another student saw what they had done and reported it to their mother, who contacted the school.

School officials ended up calling police after rat poison pellets were found in one the boy’s backpacks. The teacher had already drank from the water bottle and ended up going to the doctor for some mild nausea. The fourth-grade teacher was treated and released.

Both boys are now facing charges of attempted assault, reckless endangerment and criminal possession of a weapon, said police. According to the police commissioner, the boys put a small amount of the poison in the teacher’s water because “the 9-year-old wanted to see what the reaction would be.”

“God knows where kids get these ideas,” he said.…

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Nicole Renee CandelariaTEMPE, AZ – I posted a story earlier today regarding a man punishing his toddler by chucking her into a pool. But a story out of Arizona is making that punishment look like a trip to the petting zoo.

Police in Arizona have accused 27-year-old Nicole Renee Candelaria of getting angry at her boyfriend’s 3-year-old daughter and forcing her to eat shit.

According to the reports, Candelaria lives with her boyfriend and is often left to care for his three children while he is at work.

On one of these occasions, Candelaria got aggravated with the 3-year-old after she took a dump in the bathtub. In response, Candelaria forced the girl to eat the feces.

The fact that this happened in a bathtub makes me gag a bit louder because my brother shit in the tub when we were little and I will never forget my brother cackling like a madman as the soggy turd flaked apart in the water. *shudder*

Anyway, when the children were back home with their mother, they informed her of what had happened.…

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Jarred WorkmanIredell County, NC — Jarred Workman is facing all kinds of charges after being found living in the closet of a 14-year-old girl he met online.

According to police, Workman met the girl on some social media site and the two began chatting. After messaging back and forth for a few weeks, a meeting between the two was set up in a wooded area near the teen’s home.

Investigators have reason to believe the teen invited Workman inside her bedroom, and soon after apparently agreed to let him live in her closet.

“During the day he was either in her closet or in her bedroom, and when she would come home from school or on the weekend or whatever, he would come out on evenings,” said Det. Lt. Bill Hamby with the Iredell County Sheriff’s Office.

Fast forward five days from when he first moved in – mom was in the kid’s room, putting shit away, and found the strange man hanging out in the closet. Oh, and do keep in mind that during those five days, Workman is alleged to have had sex with the girl numerous times.…

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Lonnie HuttonMurfreesboro, TN –A 49-year-old man was taken into custody late last week, charged with public intoxication, after he was seen bumping uglies with an ATM and a picnic table. Giggity.

Sex machine Lonnie Hutton reportedly walked into The Boro Bar & Grille Friday evening, and headed straight to the ATM. Then, according to witnesses, Hutton dropped his pants and undies, exposing his genitals, and attempted to make sweet, sweet love to the money machine.

No word on whether an actual deposit was made…..

When he was finished, Hutton then moseyed around the bar for a while, his junk just a bouncin’ and a swingin’, making thrusting motions with his hips, witnesses told police.

He was promptly escorted outside.

When police arrived on scene, Hutton was ordered to sit his drunk ass down at a picnic table while they collected information from the reporting party. It was then that Hutton allegedly disrobed and attempted to get his freak on with the table.

Hutton was arrested after being deemed a danger to himself and 90% of the inanimate objects within his field of vision.…

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Corey McCarthyPHOENIX, AZ – Corey McCarthy has been arrested for child abuse after he was captured on surveillance video throwing his 23-month-old daughter into a swimming pool as a form of punishment.

In the video, McCarthy can be seeing chucking Mia out into the pool as a woman swims after her. His reason? It was to teach the toddler not to throw things in the pool… like the puppy she dropped in the pool that later died.

According to the child’s mother, Samantha, she and McCarthy have dated off an on for the last ten years and have two children together. She says that McCarthy has not played a big role in Mia’s life and was just babysitting her on the day of the incident.

According to Samantha, the video you are seeing only shows part of what McCarthy did to punish the toddler.

“You see him taunting her, like throwing her like he’s gonna, then he’s not, throwing her like he’s gonna, then he’s not,” Samantha said. “What people don’t know is also in the beginning of the video, he hoses her down with a water hose to kind of torture her that way.”

Police decided to charge McCarthy with child abuse because in the state of Arizona, child abuse includes unreasonable discipline – like throwing a child in a swimming pool as a form of punishment.…

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Beverly RoundHOUSTON, TX – Police have charged a 16-year-old student at Nimitz High School after he became upset with his substitute teacher taking his phone, that he pushed the 66-year-old woman onto the ground.

Two separate videos taken inside the classroom show the 6 foot 3. 325 lbs student standing up and pushing Beverly Round three times, the final push sending Round to the floor. The student allegedly became angry with Round because she’d taken away his phone after he was caught texting in class.

After the assault, the student walked himself to the principal’s office to turn himself in. He was subsequently arrested and charged with injury to the elderly.

Aldine ISD released the following statement:

“Aldine Independent School District police on Thursday filed a criminal charge of injury to an elderly person against a 16-year-old male student. The charge stems from an incident that occurred Thursday afternoon at Nimitz High School when a substitute teacher confiscated the student’s cell phone. The student is accused of physically shoving the substitute teacher to the ground and then retrieving his cell phone.

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Jill Anjuli Hansen, Pro surfer, model, attempted murder, Elizabeth Cronklin, Honolulu, HawaiiHONOLULU, HI - A Hawaiian pro surfer/model has been arrested and charged with attempted murder after purposefully driving her car into an elderly lady in a parking garage.

Jill Anjuli Hansen, 30, was arrested at her apartment Wednesday night in connection to the vehicular assault on 73-year-old Elizabeth Cronklin. Cronklin was hospitalized with cuts and bruises as well as a serious head injury.

Authorities said the incident happened Wednesday morning in the underground parking complex of the Diamond Head Apartments, where Hansen followed Cronklin into the garage. Upon Cronklin exiting her car, Hansen allegedly drove her Volkswagen Passat into her.  Apartment maintenance worker Chris Khory, who witnessed the confrontation, said Hansen was about to hit the woman again when he grabbed a crowbar and smashed the back of her windshield.

That’s when Hansen reportedly abandoned her car and fled the scene. Police have stated that Hansen and Cronklin do not know each other and there is no apparent motive at this time.

According to Facebook time-stamps, Hansen updated her status a few hours after the incident, but before her arrest, stating, “I am becoming a professional!…

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The Cannibals of Pakistan

LAHORE, Pakistan - Pakistani police have arrested 2 brothers accused of cannibalizing a freshly buried 3-year-old toddler after the head of the child was found at their home.

Known cannibals, Farman Ali and Mohammad Arif, were taken into custody after neighbors complained of a deathly stench emitting from the pair’s residence. Police raided the house and found the remains of the child, including the head.

Arif admitted to chopping up the body, boiling the flesh into a curry, and then devouring the entree (I wonder what flavor of chutney they used). He blamed the grave robbing on his bro.

“Zafar Iqbal, a police official, said that the men’s wives and family members had left them some years ago and both were living in the house in isolation.”

Both Arif and Ali are no strangers to cannibal kitchen endeavors. Back in 2011, the brothers were arrested for robbing the grave of a 24-year-old woman who died of cancer. The body of the woman was found (with both legs mutilated) next to a giant pot of boiling meat curry.…

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Tieralyn AngelleBEAUMONT, TX – Police have arrested 27-year-old Tieralyn Angelie after one of her neighbors caught her on video repeatedly slapping the shit out of her 8-month-old baby.

The man said called 911 and started filming Angelie slapping her infant after he heard the sounds of her slapping the baby from across the street. “It was kind of loud for me to hear with my door closed,” explained Hakim. “That’s what made my heart just fall. It was too hard.”

However, when police arrived, they left without arresting Angelie because her baby didn’t show any signs of injuries. “They went up to the house and looked at the baby and came back out. Five minutes, and they were gone. Nobody asked to look at the video or anything,” said Hakim who added he notified 911 that he had video of the abuse.

It wasn’t until after Hakim posted the video online that authorities got involved. Two days after the video was posted to his Facebook, drawing outrage from the public, police arrested Angelie – who police say has a lengthy criminal record – for violating her probation on an unrelated burglary charge.…

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Edgemere ElementaryOklahoma City, OK — A 10-year-old girl has claimed that she was sexually assaulted by an 8-year-old boy and his 10-year-old sister in an elementary school restroom.

According to the child’s mother, she was waiting in the pick-up line at Edgemere Elementary, when her child came out of the school, shaking and crying. When asked why she was so upset, the girl reportedly responded, “Mama, they touched me down there.”

The girl went on to tell her mother the two ganged up on her in the bathroom. The boy, she said, pulled his pants down, then hers. He then allegedly sexually assaulted her while his older sister held her down.

The girl said she began screaming, but was threatened with physical harm. She stopped resisting, the child’s mother said, because she was outnumbered.

The girl and her mother were escorted to a local hospital where a rape exam was conducted. That exam apparently confirmed her injuries were consistent with sexual assault.

“I’m not just blaming the kids, I blame the teachers that are supposed to protect our kids when they’re at school.” said the mother.…

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Tim LambesisOcenaside, CA – Tim Lambesis, the 32-year-old lead singer for As I Lay Dying, has been sentenced to six years in prison for hiring a hitman to kill his estranged wife.

Last year, police received information that Lambesis was soliciting another individual to kill his wife, Meggan, who had filed for divorce and lived with three Ethiopian children the couple had adopted.

According to the San Diego Sheriff’s Department, “The Encinitas Detectives, The San Diego Fugitive Task Force and the Sheriff’s Special Investigation Division investigators immediately initiated an investigation. The investigation culminated, when Lambesis solicited an undercover detective to kill his wife.”

What Lambesis did was offer an undercover sheriff’s deputy $1,000 to kill Meggan and even gave the “hitman” his wife’s address along with the security code to her front door.  His reason? Meggan allegedly restricted his visits with their children and he didn’t want her getting a large share of his income in a divorce settlement.

His attorney said Lambesis was not in his right mind during the time he was trying to hire someone to kill his wife, and that his behavior was the result of steroid abuse.…

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Jennifer CannonENID, OK – I was hoping to make it to the end of the week without writing about the corpse of a lice-covered baby, but whatever.

Police have arrested a couple after their six-week-old daughter was found dead and covered with filth and lice.

On Wednesday, a 911 call was made from the home of 46-year-old Mark Cannon and 27-year-old Jennifer Cannon. regarding their infant daughter not breathing.

When police and paramedics arrived at the home they found the infant girl dead and absolutely filthy.

“Dirt in the toenails, fecal matter on the body, and untreated diaper rash along with lice,” said Captain Jack Morris.

The couple told police that they’d been drinking all night and got into an argument that ended with them leaving the house separately.

Mark said when he returned home at around sunrise, he fed the baby and then put her in bed. When he checked on her six and a half hours later, she was cold and not breathing.

Based on the condition of the baby and the fact that the couple were still drunk while being interviewed by police, they were arrested on child neglect charges.…

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No BullyPLEASANT PRAIRIE, WI – Parents of a six-year-old girl have filed a restraining order against one of her five-year-old classmates after the boy allegedly told the girl he wanted to slit her throat and watch her bleed.

According to the girl’s father, Brian Metzger, that threat was just one of the many things the boy has reportedly done to bully his daughter while in school at Prairie Lane Elementary School.

“The whole year she’s been dealing with it. There have been other students in the classroom who have been dealing with the same individual,” Metzger said.

Metzger says his daughter has been kicked in the face, and had sand and rocks thrown at her on the playground. Metzger went to the school requesting the boy be removed from the classroom. When nothing changed and the bullying continued, Metzger took matters into his own hands.

He ended up filing a police report as well as filing a temporary restraining order against the five-year-old boy. Only then did the school remove the boy from the class.…

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Tarence WilsonColumbus, GA — A 29-year-old man was arrested earlier this week after video surveillance captured him pleasuring himself outside an elementary school, four nights in a row, leaving condoms filled with baby batter on the front door each time.

According to police, after scaling a fence surrounding Wesley Heights Elementary, Tarence Wilson would drop trou and commence to burpin’ his worm right there in the courtyard. When finished, he apparently draped his used condoms on the door.

The first condom was found sometime Saturday, leading grossed out school officials to view the surveillance tapes and initiate a stake-out. On Tuesday evening, they caught their man red-handed.

When officers arrived to back up school security that evening, Wilson was found hiding behind a bush, boxers around his ankles.

When questioned as to why the hell he was jerkin’ off on school grounds, Wilson reportedly responded that he felt “uncomfortable” masturbating at home, and dammit, he just wanted someplace he could be left alone. No word on why he feels the need to practice safe sex with himself, though.…

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Luis MorenoPhoenix, AZ — The jackass pictured to the left is 38-year-old Luis Moreno. This fuck is accused of starving his dog to death in some retarded attempt to reconcile with his ex-girlfriend.

Police say Moreno and his girlfriend adopted the pit bull, Wiggles, back in ’08. When the two split in ’12, Moreno kept the dog.

Shortly after the breakup, Moreno attempted to get his woman back. When she failed to come running, police say he began using the dog as bait.

“Wiggles is dead. I hope you’re happy b—-.” Moreno is alleged to have texted to the woman.

When the woman called and asked after the pup’s health, Moreno admitted the dog was still alive and presumably fine.

On another occasion, Moreno reportedly informed the woman Wiggles was sick and he couldn’t afford to pay for whatever treatment the dog needed. When the woman responded and offered to pitch in, Moreno asked her to dinner — she declined. Denied, he reportedly refused to accept her help, telling her the dog was fine.…

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Maria GarateSAN JOSE, CA — An 18-year-old homeless woman was arrested after she used a crowbar to attack a 4-year-old girl and her father inside a Walmart.

According to reports, Maria Garate walked into the Walmart late Tuesday morning and approached a little girl who was in the store with her father.

Without warning, Garate hit the 4-year-old girl in the head with the crowbar as she sat in a shopping cart. She then hit the girl in the shoulder before the girl’s father could intervene.

“I just hear ‘pop’ and then I looked at my daughter. I see my daughter cry,” the girl’s father said. “Then I throw my daughter far away.”

Garate attempted to hit the girl a third time, but her father was able to step in and was struck in the arm instead. Afterwards, Garate got on the ground and put her hands behind her back as if she expected to be arrested.

As Garate was being detained by Walmart security, witnesses stated she was yelling that the little girl deserved it.…

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Taylor KellyHONEA PATH, SC – Police in South Carolina have arrested 18-year-old Taylor Kelly after they say she killed a man while testing out the effectiveness of a bulletproof vest.

You are reading this here, so you’ve probably guessed things didn’t work out too well.

Anderson County deputies received a call at 2:41 a.m. Wednesday morning from a home where eight to 10 friends had gathered. When they arrived on the scene, they found 26-year-old Blake Wardell lying in the garage with a single gunshot wound to the chest.

Police would learn that the shooting was no accident, and that Wardell was a willing participant. According to police, the people hanging out in the home came up with a great way to test the effectiveness of an old flak jacket.

Instead of putting the vest against a tree or something, Wardell decided to put it on and have Kelly fire a gun at him. Unfortunately for everyone involved, aside from the overall gene pool, Darwinism ensured the bullet passed through a seam in the vest and directly into Wardell’s chest.…

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Barb WilliamsHANCOCK COUNTY, OH – A teacher only received a 10 day suspension after school surveillance cameras capture her assaulting a 6-year-old kindergartner, and the kid’s parents aren’t too happy about that.

The parents of Ian Nelson were outraged when they were provided surveillance footage that showed their son, Ian, as he is confronted by his teacher, Barb Williams, as he walks out of the school bathroom at Riverdale Local Schools.

Williams can be seen first grabbing Ian and pinning him against the wall before grabbing him by the face and then picking him up off the floor by his shirt. The video ends as she drags him by tharm into the bathroom.

There’s no information on exactly why Williams was so angry at the kid, but the school ended up suspending Williams for 10 days. As you can probably understand, Ian’s parents aren’t satisfied with that response – especially since there are only 10 days left in the school year.

Ian’s parents want Williams terminated and plan on taking the video to the Hancock County Sheriff’s Office to try to file criminal charges against Williams.…

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