Man Gets Dresser Drawer Makeover After He's Caught Sexually Assaulting BabyBaby Died After Mother Left Her In Car For Six Hours While Getting Hair DoneTeen Live Streamed Her Dying Sister After Rollover CrashGirl, 12, Killed After Father Runs Her Over With Power BoatBoy, 14, Dies In Apparent Suicide at Florida Gun RangeWoman Accused Of Stabbing Her Four Kids, Husband To DeathWoman Arrested After Reportedly Punching Boy In Face Several Times In Parking LotMother Accused Of Letting Infant Starve To Death Strapped In Car SeatFather Beat Daughter To Death Because She Got Math Answers WrongMom Killed Husband's Girlfriend Before Killing Her Kids, Self

In The Mean Time...

Japan — An apparent skin mag aficionado was recently found dead beneath a literal pornucopia of presumably sticky magazines.

And if that isn’t disturbing enough, the body was only discovered because the man’s landlord entered the home to find out why the rent hadn’t been paid in six months.

This information was revealed by a member of a cleaning service that had been hired to discreetly remove 6 tons of jizz mags in a way that would not be noticed by neighbors or the man’s family, to save them from shame. Welp, so much for discretion….

It is unclear if the man, identified only as a 50-year-old former auto worker named Joji, suffered a heart attack and brought the magazines down with him as he fell, or if they just fell on him, smothering him to death. All I can think of at this point is paper cuts. Lots and lots of paper cuts.

Every available space in the apartment was filled with magazines, the cleaner claims, and they were stacked on tables and shelves, as well.…

Shelby, NC — A 49-year-old man is in custody after allegedly attempting to grab a 1-year-old child from her mother’s arms at Walmart earlier this week.

The child’s mother, Tiana Langer, claims a strange man approached her and her child in the store and started talking all cute with the kid.

“He said, ‘How did you get that cutie?’ and I just thought he was being friendly,” Langer said.

He then apparently grabbed the kid’s arm and started rubbing it, saying she could “go home with him.” At this point, mom’s getting a little freaked.

She told him, “No, we don’t go to strangers and we don’t talk to them.” To which he responded, “I’m not a stranger. I’m just a friend she hasn’t been with yet.”

He apparently started tugging on the kid’s arm, but mom tugged back and both managed to safely retreat.

According to police, surveillance video later showed the man, identified as Eric Richardson, holding another child near the entrance of the store, but it didn’t appear as if that child’s mother was worried.…

Frackville, PA — George Beaver, 59, is in police custody for allegedly biting his wife’s face after she touched his bag of Utz Potato Chips.

Police were called to the Beaver’s home last week after receiving a report about domestic assault between George and his wife, Michelle.

When officers arrived on scene, Michelle reported that George was sitting in the living room watching television and that she just happened to pick up a bag of Utz Sour Cream and Onion rippled potato chips that had been sitting on the coffee table.

George apparently said something like, “leave the fucking chips alone.” (Could have been “goddamn chips”, too. Not positive which cuss word was used, so I’ll use my favorite).

Michelle did not leave the fucking chips alone. This angered the Beaver.

George reportedly grabbed Michelle by the face and bit her left cheek, just below the eye, tearing off a piece of skin and causing her to bleed.

George fled the home before officers arrived, prompting them to obtain a warrant for his arrest.…

Tarentum, PA — Police allege Teresa Drum, 38, shot and killed her husband after arguing about a casserole she’d burned, then snapped a quick pic of the body and texted it to a friend, before taking a quicky shower and calling 911.

When police and paramedics arrived at the couple’s home late Monday night, Teresa apparently attempted to convince them her husband, 42-year-old Dennis Drum Sr., killed himself.

Teresa claimed the two had argued over the charred casserole, and the fact that she had sucked down his last beer, and he just put a bullet in his head all on his own. She told police he did this as she was calling 911.

She showed police a picture of the body. She took the pic and texted it to a friend, she explained, because she didn’t know what to do. The friend apparently told her to call 911.

Heh. A good friend would have been over 15 minutes later with a shovel and a bottle of wine. Or a dead hooker.…

Shreveport, LA — This is Celina Ann Cabrera. She used to be employed at the Caddo Parish Animal Shelter. Wanna guess why she was fired?

If you guessed ‘crimes against nature’, you probably just peeked at the title. You win nothing.

Police received a tip last week that Cabrera was having sexy time with a dog, presumably at the shelter, and someone, somewhere, had the video to prove it.

24-year-old Cabrera was arrested Friday and has since bonded out.

Caddo Parish Public Information Officer Krystle Grindley initially said Monday that Cabrera was placed on administrative leave immediately after the commission was made aware of the arrest, but later revealed that Cabrera had actually been on leave since February 15.

Grindley added that she could not confirm the reason for that leave, and cited personal privacy issues.

Cabrera’s videographer, 41-year-old Booker Talioterro Thomas, a former employee of the shelter, was arrested as well. He’s been charged with principal to crimes against nature.

ETA: According to Cpl. Marcus Hines, a police department spokesman, it does not appear as if Cabrera engaged in coitus with the dog at the shelter.…

San Antonio, TX — Javier Hernandez, 30, was arrested earlier this week in connection with the death of a prostitute whose body had been found burned to a crisp last month.

The victim’s body was found in a burning garage near Hernandez’s home on January 22. Police have yet to identify her, but describe her as being Hispanic and between 18 and 35 years old. They believe she had brown hair, breast implants and a tattoo on her lower back.

Surveillance video apparently showed a dark truck pulling out of the garage shortly before the building went up in flames.

According to authorities, a witness came forward Thursday and informed investigators that Hernandez admitted to strangling the woman before burning the body in the garage. The witness also said that prior to setting the woman’s body on fire, Hernandez allowed an acquaintance to have sex with the corpse. Not sure if that’s being a good friend? Or a sucky, bad friend….

Anyway, Hernandez admitted that he owned a dark truck, but not the one seen in the surveillance video.…

Scottsdale, AZ — Delia Flores, 53, had a hunch that her boyfriend was cheating on her, so she shot him a few times. Seven, to be exact. And three of those shots were to the babymaker.

Somehow, dude survived.

According to police, Flores called 911 Saturday night to report her boyfriend had been shot. She initially told police her boyfriend informed her that he had been shot and asked her to call for help.

She later changed her story, telling police it was she that shot him because she believed he was cheating on her.

The victim reportedly told police he had fallen asleep sitting up in a chair, and woke to what he thought was the sound of fireworks. Oh, and excruciating pain in his lower extremities.

He had been shot once in the dick, and twice in the scrotum. Plus, there were additional gunshot wounds — neck, upper back, and thigh.

The man told officers he owned three 9-mm guns but said he didn’t think his Flores owned a handgun, let alone know how to use one.…

Green Bay, WI — Jonathan Schrap, 24, was sentenced to three and half years behind bars Friday, for amputating a woman’s pinky finger with a machete last year in some sort of retarded ritual to honor a fellow Juggalo.

I don’t know how Morbid missed this one…..

Back in August of 2016, Schrap and a few other Juggalos held a memorial service of sorts for a friend of theirs that had passed that year.

As part of the “ritual”, 27-year-old Shelby Neuens offered to let Schrap drink her blood. So he slashed her on the right forearm, leaving her “bleeding profusely” from a one-inch laceration.

The group then pondered on the idea of amputating a body part, to show how damn serious they were about this whole memorial thing. Again, Neuens, a true team player, stepped up and offered her pinky.

Took Schrap a couple of swings with a machete before the digit was removed at the palm. Schrap then put the pinky in his freezer, saying he would cook it and eat it later.…

Washington DC — A 76-year-old woman accused of beating the life out of her 63-year-old boyfriend apparently told police she did it because she was “tired of loving him.”

Officers met with Thomasine Bennett at her home Friday afternoon, after receiving a report of a disturbance. Bennett informed the officers her boyfriend, Walter Clark, was in the back.

Bennett, for whatever reason, was quick to mention to police that Clark forced her to smoke the street drug “love boat” the night before. (Love boat, and I’m sure you’ll correct me if I’m wrong, is marijuana laced with PCP or formaldehyde)?

Bennett then led the officers to a hallway closet that had been barricaded with a board. Inside, police say, lay Clark. He was found to be naked, in the fetal position with his hands bound, unconscious, and unresponsive.

Clark died at the hospital, about an hour later.

When questioned, Bennett told police Clark proposed to her on Valentine’s Day. But she was tired of loving him, she said, and sharing him with other women.…

Stuart, FL — A 42-year-old man has been accused of punching his girlfriend, and striking her with a dildo, because she insulted his love making skills. *cough* whiskey dick! *cough*

Eric Pritsch was charged with battery following the incident, which was reported earlier this month.

According to the arrest affidavit, Pritsch’s girlfriend, 58-year-old Carol Favuzza, flagged down a deputy on February 7, and asked him to call police, as she had been assaulted. The officer apparently had to inform her he was the police.

Favuzza told the deputy Pritsch punched her in the face because, while they were copulating, she told him, “You’re not a man, you’re a mouse.”

Favuzza went on to say that Pritsch hit her in the back several times with a dildo and some sort of cord. The officer failed to find any marks on the woman’s back, but did notice swelling to her face. He also noticed the woman smelled strongly of alcohol.

Pritsch, also apparently shitfaced, denied striking the woman. According to him, he had been asleep for several hours.…

Flagler County, FL — William Walsh has been arrested and charged with child abuse after police say he smacked one young girl on the ass and tried to lure another away from her bus stop.

According to police, Walsh approached a 14-year-old girl in late January and said, “Hey, let me get some of that,” and slapped her on the ass.

The girl’s grandmother reported the incident to police, but deputies were unable to identify the man and closed the case. They did, however, beef up patrols in the area where the alleged ass slapping took place.

This past Friday, Walsh apparently approached an 8-year-old girl waiting at her bus stop and showed her a drawing of a puppy, telling her the dog was lost and he needed her help.

After speaking with parents and other children who got on and off the bus at that particular intersection, investigators learned that Walsh was almost a fixture at that bus stop and has tried talking to numerous children when there were no adults around.…

Mission, TX — Mario Cardona, 59, was taken into custody last week after a video showing him dragging his German Shepard behind his motorized scooter surfaced on Facebook.

The woman responsible for posting the video, Michelle Torrez, was heading out to run errands Thursday, when she spotted Cardona motoring down the sidewalk, the pup struggling as it was being dragged.

“I turn around. I see him dragging his dog from the middle of street. … I’m out of my car yelling at him, asking him, ‘What are you doing? What’s wrong with you?’ And he just keeps going, telling me to mind my own business, it’s his dog he can do whatever he wants,” Torrez claimed.

Torrez whipped out her phone and started recording. After calling the police, Torrez posted the video to her profile, where it quickly received thousands of views.

Cardona was arrested less than 24 hours later. He’s been charged with animal cruelty, and bond has been set at $10,000. His priors include assault, driving while intoxicated, criminal mischief and possession of cocaine.…

Norristown, PA — A day care teacher is jobless and facing charges after admitting to police that he sexually assaulted a 3-year-old girl in his care because she called him stupid.

Michael Barbee, 32, a teacher from the Early Learning Center Program of St. Francis Parish, was charged Saturday with involuntary deviate sexual intercourse, aggravated indecent assault, unlawful contact with a minor, and other related offenses.

According to a criminal complaint, police began investigating Barbee after the child apparently informed her parents that Mr.Michael covered her mouth and hurt her with his finger.

Barbee initially denied the accusation, but when faced with a polygraph, reportedly told police he forcibly touched the girl. He had his hand down her pants for about ten seconds, he said, and she said ‘ouch.’ And he claimed he did it because she called him stupid.

The Archdiocese of Philadelphia released this statement after Barbee’s arrest:

Mr. Michael Barbee, a teacher at the Early Learning Center Program of Saint Francis Parish in Norristown (Montgomery County) was placed on administrative leave on Friday, February 10th following notification to the parish that he was under investigation by law enforcement for an alleged criminal matter.

Daytona Beach, FL — Two grown ass men and a teenager were arrested Tuesday after allegedly beating a Navy Vet who asked them to stop torturing a turtle.

Gary Blough told police his wife had been walking outside with their toddler when she spotted the men knocking the turtle around.

Blough said the men were repeatedly slamming the turtle to the concrete, shell side down. He kindly asked them to stop, he said, and allow the turtle to get back to the water.

Unfazed, one of the little bitches, later identified as 18-year-old Johnnie Beveritt, reportedly picked up the turtle and threw it down on the sidewalk. The two other men, Ryan Ponder, 23, and a 16-year-old boy, kicked the turtle toward an apartment building away from the pond.

Blough then asked his wife to call police and attempted to rescue the injured turtle.

“They started hitting the back of my head and started punching me. I was able to fend off a little bit but I mean three of them, they got the better of me,” he said.…

COLUMBUS, OH – A 19-year-old woman who used the live-streaming app Periscope to live-stream her friend being raped has been sentenced to nine months in prison.

For those of you who may not remember this story when we first reported on it last year, Marina Lonina was facing 40 years in prison after

Lonina and her 17-year-old friend met 29-year-old Raymond Gates at a Columbus mall last February. The next day, the two met Gates at an apartment where he supplied them with vodka.

Once the victim was heavily intoxicated, Gates sexually assaulted her. Despite telling Gates to stop, Lonina did not intervene and was allegedly “giggling and laughing” as she used her cellphone to live-stream her friend’s sexual assault to Periscope.

Police got involved when they were given a copy of the video on March 2, 2016 and, in October, Gates was sentenced to nine years in prison after pleading guilty to one count of rape.

Lonina was charged with rape, sexual battery, kidnapping and pandering sexually oriented matter involving a juvenile.…

Morrisville, PA – Handyman, William Charles Thomas, 58, has been arrested for sexually assaulting multiple children after homeowner discovers disgusting details written on plywood he had used to renovate his home.

Police were notified after a piece of plywood was found in an empty trailer that Thomas had been renovating. On it was written in detail how he had sexually abused two children around Christmas in 2014.  He gained access to the children when their father asked Thomas to watch them while he ran to the store to get tape for their presents. One of them being a 2 year old.

Philadelphia police searched Thomas’s home and  found what they are calling a “perverse shrine” inside his trailer with as many as 1,000 pairs of used girl’s underwear as well as, chronicles of his crimes depicted with graphic images and writings. They found children’s toys and dolls placed in sexual positions and a handwritten note outlining that the rules of the room involved all kids being naked. Polaroid pictures with the names of three other possible victims were also recovered from his home.…

Lakeland, FL — Howard Van Sweringen has a name like an old timey cartoon villain and a police record after allegedly stalking a woman and tossing his dog at her.

Kristina Fuller, speaking with a reporter from WFLA, claims what started out as a normal Thursday morning quickly turned into a morning of OMGWTF. Basically.

Fuller was in the drop off line at Lakeland High, when an unfamiliar man cut in front of the line of school buses, blocking traffic, and waved her on and out. She waved a ‘thanks’ and went on her way.

After she pulled away from the school, she noticed the man was on her ass. Every corner she turned, there he was.

It was at a red light, she says, that shit took a turn for the bizarre.

“He got out of his vehicle, came up to my window and threw his dog on me. I thought it was going to bite me or something so I tossed the dog back at him. He got back in his vehicle and started hitting my truck, trying to push it into the intersection,” Fuller said.…

Merrimack, NH — Jodi Ecklund is facing a heap of charges after barricading herself in her apartment last Saturday, holding police at bay for several hours with threats of violence and death.

All this, police say, because of her boyfriend’s lackluster comment about the spaghetti dinner she dished up for him.

Jason Martin told police Ecklund made him a spaghetti dinner, asking him afterward what he thought about it. “It was OK,” he replied. It was then, he said, she went all kinds of bipolar on him.

Martin claims Ecklund punched him in the face and arm and scratched his hand. After he left the apartment, he said, Ecklund locked the door.

When police arrived on scene, they were informed by Martin that there were guns in the home — a Glock 9mm and a M4 rifle.

Police could hear Ecklund yelling inside of the apartment, screaming at them to “get the (bleep) out of there!” She threatened to kill the officers if they entered, and/or harm herself.

When police attempted to gain entrance, Ecklund told them to go right ahead….…