In The Mean Time...
HERE, NOW – Thanks again to everyone who turned out to Saturday night’s Pulpit of Doom Podcast. I may have been a bit too drunk as I don’t remember much aside from putting a bit too much thought into why that guy splooged in that girl’s face.
In case you missed it, I flew solo with my Kraken and discussed the top 10 terrible stories circulating the site for the week, including baby maracas, unwanted facials, teachers hanging around classrooms, shooting fish in a barrel, penis cakes, handicapped placards and those that abuse them, tag-team baby rape, angry teens being grounded by drunk drivers, and the ALS pit bull challenge.
We also revealed some more of the oddest search phrases that have landed people on the site, and spoke with Forensix, BostonBurns, and Totemic about a lot of stuff – including the New Orleans DD meetup. If you’d like to call in during future shows, you can do so at (704) 750-9928.
In October 2013, Norgren walked into his brother’s room and began babbling about nonsense. He then punched out a window, cutting his hand, and wandered outside. He was eventually discovered by a hunter in the woods, standing by the hunter’s ATV.
Norgren approached the hunter and wrestled away his rifle, then allegedly said, “Sasquatch kills the hunter.” Norgren then knocked the hunter unconscious by hitting him over the head with a rock. When the hunter came to, Norgren was on top of him trying to remove his arms.
“When Mr. McDonald was unconscious, Linus Norgren, with unspeakable violence, caused two fractured and dislocated arms,” the prosecutor told the jury. “He systematically and violently ripped Mr. McDonald’s arms out of his torso.”
Norgren then began strangling the hunter, shoved his fingers down the man’s throat and gouged his eyes.…
DUMONT, NJ – Students will return to Grant Elementary School this morning following the death of one of their classmates who jumped out of a classroom’s second-story window.
On Friday, around 20 fifth-graders and a lunch aide were in a classroom for lunch when the 10-year-old boy handed a note to a classmate he had been playing chess with.
He then walked over to an open window and, without saying a word to anyone, jumped out. The boy would die at the hospital from injuries he sustained from landing on a concrete sidewalk 25 feet below.
Officials have not released the boy’s name or the details contained in the note he handed his classmate. A law enforcement source did not describe it as a suicide note, but said suicide is one of the motives being investigated.
The boy hasn’t been at the school long, but another student said he fit in well and had lots of friends. Counselors have been made available for any students, parents or staff who need them.…
Marshall and 65-year-old Theodore Hubbell Jr. owned property next to each other off a dirt road in a rural subdivision call Bokeelia. Marshall and his wife had purchased the property with hopes of building a home with a shed there.
Hubbell was upset with Marshall for clear cutting parts of the property and covering over gopher tortoise burrows. In Florida, the gopher tortoise is listed as Threatened. Both the tortoise and its burrow are protected under state law. Gopher tortoises must be relocated before any land clearing or development takes place, and property owners must obtain permits from the FWC before capturing and relocating tortoises.
Hubbell explained this to Marshall and uncovered the buried burrows. Marshall was upset with this and contacted his attorney, Robert Harris, who instructed him to contact police to get a restraining order. Marshall did contact police but there isn’t a restraining order against Hubbell.…
EAST WINDSOR, CT – James Polk, 43, has been accused of brutally raping a stripper then slitting his own throat when confronted by police.
At around 3:00 am Thursday morning, police received a 911 hangup call from a woman who seemed to be in medical distress. The number was traced to a land-line phone at Power Service Concepts, a company Polk manages.
When officers arrived, they interrupted Polk in the middle of brutally raping an exotic dancer he had picked up at the Mardi Gras II strip club.
The woman was able to run to police while Polk was held at gunpoint. Polk told the officers that he had a knife and that they were going to have to kill him. Just before police Tased him, Polk produced the knife and slit his own throat.
Both Polk and his victim were rushed to the hospital. Unfortunately, Polk either needs a better knife or more moxie, as he is expected to survive his self-inflicted injury. He’s currently in intensive care under police guard.…
Police said they became involved after the boy was taken to the hospital on Saturday suffering a seizure.
The boy was airlifted to Boston where doctors there found he was suffering from two skull fractures and 17 broken bones, from his ribs to his toes. Orta-Santana’s son had to be placed in a medically induced coma.
When questioned, Orta-Santana admitted to police that he had punched his son in the head several times on Saturday after becoming frustrated with him.
No word on if he admitted to breaking 6% of his son’s bones in the last three months, but investigators believe some of the boy’s injuries happened around the time he was born.
Jose Orta-Santana was arrested and charged with felony first- and second-degree assault. He is currently being held on a $100,000 bond.
“This is probably the most serious child abuse case that we’ve dealt with in a long, long time,” said Chief Kevin Cyr.…
DAVENPORT, FL – Victor Solano has been arrested after Polk County deputies say he hanged his dog from a tree for making a mess in his trailer.
Solano had initially asked his neighbors to borrow a gun so he could shoot the 18-month-old pit-bull for making the mess. This, as we all know, being the standard method of disciplining animals when they misbehave.
When neighbors refused to let the Solano have a loaded firearm, he tied a rope around the dog’s neck and hanged it from a tree, killing it. Solano then tied the rope to an ATV and dragged the dog to a local pond where he dumped the body.
Investigators were able to recover the dog’s body and delivered it to Polk County Animal Control. Solano was arrested and charged with felony animal cruelty and unlawful disposal of a dead domestic animal.
This isn’t Solano’s first brush with the law. He was released from prison in March 2013 and had been arrested on previous charges of burglary, larceny, carrying a concealed weapon, battery domestic violence, and violation of parole.…
COMSTOCK PARK, MI – Stevie Foehl and Michael Emory have been sentenced to life for raping a 1-year-old girl and filming it.
Police learned of a sexual relationship Michael Emory had with a 14-year-old girl who he met through an advertisement for babysitting services on Craigslist. During the statutory rape investigation police seized computers from the home these sick fucks shared. That’s when video was found of the couple taking turns raping a 1-year-old girl.
The girl’s mother says she has known Foehl since high school when Foehl became pregnant at 17. Foehl and Emory had a second child and would often babysit the little girl and her 5-year-old brother while their single mother was working and pursuing a college degree.
It was during this time that they admitted they took the child into a locked room and took turns violating her while the other filmed it. Their own children and the girl’s 5-year-old sibling were present outside the door while this was happening. Police believe she was assaulted on at least two occasions when she was in the couple’s care.…
According to the criminal complaint, the first incident happened in December when the teen woke up to find Pfeifer facing her while jacking off. He left the room immediately and did not touch her.
That same month, she woke up to, once again, find Pfeifer standing next to her bed masturbating. The teen asked Pfiefer what in the hell was he doing, to which Pfiefer left the bedroom without saying a word and went inside a hallway bathroom.
How there was ever a third incident I will never know, but in February the teen woke up to find Pfiefer standing over her bed basting his ham. Pfiefer’s girlfriend was in the same room and woke up to her younger sister’s screams and saw her boyfriend running out of the bedroom.
She told police that her younger sister was visibly upset and kept repeating “what do I do?” Possibly referring to the semen she saw on her sister’s face, hair and bedding.…
PRESCOTT, WI – Kari Milberg is facing three counts of homicide after police say the 34-year-old was chatting on Facebook while driving, moments before getting into a crash that killed her daughter and her two nieces.
In December 2013, Milberg was returning home from the Giggle Factory with her two children and two nieces when she lost control of her vehicle and slid into the path of an oncoming truck.
Her 11-year-old daughter, Lydia, was killed on impact. Milberg’s 5-year-old nieces, Laynie Jo Amos and Clara Pavek, would die at area hospitals.
Milberg was ejected from the vehicle and thrown down an embankment. However, she and her 3-year-old son, Easton, would survive along with the driver of the truck and his two passengers.
During their investigation, police would recover two cellphones inside the totaled vehicle. Milberg’s undamaged iPhone wasn’t found until almost four months later after the snow had melted, and would be one of the factors leading to her now facing criminal charges.
Wisconsin State Patrol determined bad tires and driver inattention to be a large contributing factors in the collision.…
BISMARCK, ND – Waylon Pumpkinseed has some trouble with kids. He just can’t seem to not injure them in some way. On Monday, March 2nd, he was arrested by US Federal Marshals on federal child abuse charges.
Pumpkinseed brought his four month old daughter to the emergency room at the Fort Yates Hospital for a cough, where doctors determined that the 7 pound girl was in respiratory distress and immediately transported the baby to better-equipped facilities in Bismarck, North Dakota.
Katherine Ludewig, a special agent for the FBI, spoke with the doctor caring for the child at CHI St. Alexius, who advised that this was a severe case of child abuse and neglect. X-rays taken back at Fort Yates showed that the infant has multiple healed and unhealed bone fractures of the ribs and skull.
During the interview with the FBI, Pumpkinseed changed his story multiple times, but he admitted to squeezing the child too hard two times. The third incident he admitted to picking up the baby and squeezing and shaking her for 30 to 45 seconds, causing the baby’s eyes to roll back into her head.…
GREENFIELD, WI – Police have charged 32-year-old Kezia Perkins with aggravated battery after a fight over a Walmart handicapped parking space sent a 71-year-old woman to the hospital.
According to police report, Perkins was trying to park in the handicapped spot but was unable to make the turn. That’s when the elderly woman pulled into the space.
This angered Perkins to the point that she got out of her vehicle and began yelling at the other woman. When the woman got out of her car, perkins allegedly chest bumped her, causing the elderly woman to fall in the parking lot.
A police officer was in the parking lot responded to the scene to find the older woman on the ground. Perkins allegedly told the officer that it wasn’t her fault “the elderly woman bounced off my big (chest).”
According to a witness, the older woman told him she could not get off the ground because she just had hip surgery and she felt as if the fall had re-injured her hip.…
Apoka, FL – Trinity Bachmann, 13, was hit and killed by a car while sitting in the middle of the road throwing a temper tantrum.
The Apopka Memorial Middle School student was returning from the Central Florida Fair in Orlando with her mother, Janice Pedroza, 36, and a group of her friends. Bachmann, a rising member of the Future Farmers of America, was at the fair showing off her pig.
After stopping to drop off one of the kids, they began to fight over who was going to sit in the front seat. Bachmann became upset and walked away from the vehicle telling her mom she would rather walk the three miles home than get back in the car.
Dressed in dark clothing, Bachmann walked into the middle of a barely lit road and sat down. Her mother tried to force her off the road as a car approached, but they were too late.
Jackie Suggs who lives across the street from where the incident took place said, “We heard arguing going on and stepped outside.…
HOLLY HILL, FL – Christopher Taft has been arrested after police say the 21-year-old shot his sister in the ass with a BB gun because she made him a penis cake for his birthday.
According to police, Taft shot his sister after she gave him a birthday cake that was shaped like a dick. Taft told police he didn’t mean to hurt his sister when he shot her, he just thought it would be a funny response.
The BB ended up embedded in his sister’s ass cheek, but she refused to be transported to the hospital. She said she would go herself and did not want to pursue charges against her brother.
Police noted the woman’s request, then arrested Taft and charged him with aggravated battery and battery causing bodily harm. He was released from Volusia County jail the following day.
Last time I ever heard of a shooting involving a penis cake, it was regarding Jaded getting pissed she didn’t get one on her birthday. In fact, let’s make it up to Jaded.…
GRAFTON, ND – Police have accused 23-year-old Jordan Nelson of locking four young children in a dog cage in the basement of their home, and feeding one of the kids dog food.
Court documents say the children, ages 5 to 9, were being held under “terrorizing conditions.”
More specifically, Nelson, who is in a relationship with the children’s biological mother, would punish the children by placing them in the dog cage in the basement and turning off the light.
Nelson is also accused of making one of the kids eat dog food, which made him throw up. When police interviewed the children, one of them drew a picture of himself in the kennel with the words “help me.”
Police did not note if the child wanted help because they were in a kennel or because they were in North Dakota.
Nelson was arrested and has been charged with four counts of felony abuse and neglect of a child and felonious restraint. She’s since been released on bond and ordered to stay away from the children.…
Jacobson was a popular photography instructor who had taught at the school for the last eight years. When some of her students tried to get inside her classroom they found the door was locked.
This was not normal for that time of day, so the students found another teacher who unlocked the door. That’s when they found Jacobson hanging from the ceiling. The teacher removed Jacobson and 911 was called.
“Paramedics performed life saving measures, however after several minutes the victim was declared deceased at the scene,” a Placentia Yorba Linda Unified School District spokesman said in a statement. “The initial investigation indicates the cause of death to be suicide.”
Placentia police Lt. Eric Point said investigators have not located a suicide note. Several students said that Jacobson’s father had also committed suicide and that Jacobson had constantly advised her students against taking their own life.…
The attack happened last year while a woman was participating in an ALS Ice Bucket Challenge with her grandchildren. After announcing her own nominations, her grandchildren dump water on her head.
As she does a little screaming and shaking of her head, a dog comes over and latches on to the side of her face.
According to the victim’s daughter, her mother wasn’t ready to share the video until now and wanted to wait until her wounds had healed. The video was posted by YouTube user emaustin102387, who wrote:
“She lived to tell the tale of it and didn’t want this released until she was ready. This should serve as a warning to all pet owners. Unless you are going to take the time to make an animal a pet then it will remain an animal.…
SLIDELL, LA – Police have arrested 34-year-old Brett Flower after they say he poured beer down a 1-year-old boy’s throat multiple times because he thought it was funny.
A witness reported the incident to the state Department of Child Services after they watched it happen at a family gathering.
Police were called and questioned friends and family of Flower and the boy’s 23-year-old mother, Krysten Verdin.
Investigators were told that on several occasions Flower poured beer down the boy’s throat, causing the boy to choke and throw it up.
This would irritate Verdin who, according to a press release, would “become agitated and slap the child on the back of the head, causing him to fall on the floor.’
When interviewed by police Flower, who is not the boy’s father, admitted to making his girlfriend’s son drink beer. He wasn’t trying to harm the boy, he said. He “just thought it would be funny,” said Detective Daniel Seuzeneau.
According to Seuzeneau, Verdin confirmed that her boyfriend had poured beer down her son’s throat, but did not admit that ever hit her kid.…