Sexual Predator Accused Of Flashing Children In Walmart Toy Aisle

February 9, 2012 at 7:38 am by Morbid  

TITUSVILLE, FL – Police have arrested a registered sex offender for allegedly exposing himself to a couple of kids in the toy aisle of a Florida Walmart.

Police say that 28-year-old Robert Walyus was in a Titusville Walmart last Saturday when he approached two children in the toy aisle and asked if he could touch them while his dick was hanging out of his pants.

One of the victims ran off and told her mother what happened and that she “saw his thing.” The mom witnessed Walyus adjusting his pants when she turned around and looked at him. Waylus managed to get out of the store before authorities arrived, but after using images from surveillance video, Waylus was soon identified and arrested at his home.

He was charged with with lewd or lascivious exposure to a child under 16 years old and is currently being held on a $125,000 bond. He may be facing more charges as detectives were able to link him to a similar incident at Titusville Publix last October.

But none of this comes to no surprise to the police who know Waylus, listed as a sexual predator on Florida’s sexual offender registry, as he has been in and out of jail for similar offenses for the last 10 years.…

Man’s ‘Skeletonized’ Corpse Discovered Four Years After Suicide

February 9, 2012 at 7:25 am by kniption  

West Allis, WI - While possibly under the impression that he wasn’t important to anyone, David Carter, 41, reportedly used a 9mm handgun to take his own life in his house in a Milwaukee suburb in 2007.

More than four years later, on January 23, 2012, his ‘skeletonized’ remains would be found by a real estate worker from the Milwaukee County treasurer’s office and a locksmith who arrived to inspect the home after it had been awarded to the county in a tax foreclosure.

In the years since his suicide, Carter reportedly never paid a bill, retrieved his mail, mowed the lawn, or cleared snow. His mail undoubtedly included the expected late payment and cancellation notices. These, of course, went unanswered.

According to news reports, near the time of his death, Carter quit his job as a nuisance control officer for the City of Milwaukee and told co-workers that he planned to ‘move to New Mexico.’ Never having been to New Mexico, his coworkers were unaware that the phrase “I am moving to New Mexico” is a completely reasonable euphemism for “I am going to shoot myself in the head and allow my bloodied and lifeless corpse to rot in stench and darkness.” It’s an easy mistake to make.…

Man Accused Of Domestic Violence Sentenced To Romantic Dinner At Red Lobster

February 8, 2012 at 3:01 pm by Jaded  

Only in Florida — A man accused of shoving his wife, putting his hand on her throat and raising his fist to her during an argument learned his fate during his initial court appearance earlier this week – a romantic dinner with the wife at Red Lobster.

“He’s going to stop by somewhere and he’s going to get some flowers,” Judge John “Jay” Hurley said at 47-year-old Joseph Bray’s bond hearing. “And then he’s going to go home, pick up his wife, get dressed, take her to Red Lobster. And then after they have Red Lobster, they’re going to go bowling.”

Bray’s wife, who was present at the hearing, said the couple began arguing after Bray neglected to wish her a happy birthday. At some point during the spat, Bray allegedly shoved the woman against a couch and placed one hand on her throat, raising the other as if to strike her. Fortunately, he did not.

Judge Hurley asked the woman if she was hurt or in fear of her husband. When the woman answered no, Hurley continued probing.…

Iowa Police Still Looking For Man Who Stole Mega Masturbator

February 8, 2012 at 1:55 pm by Morbid  

IOWA CITY, Iowa — Police have released a hilarious photo of the man who stole the $250 dollar sex toy from an Iowa sex shop last month in hopes of finding out who he is.

In case you had forgotten, last month we told you all about a man who walked into the Romantix Pleasure Palace and pulled out a large hunting knife on the clerk working behind the counter. The terrified clerk jumped the counter and ran to a nearby convenience store for help.

The suspect gave a brief chase before turning back and stealing a $250 sex toy called the Fuck Me Silly. This “mega masturbator,” put out by Pipedream Products, is nothing but 20 pounds of dat ass — described as “the most realistic piece of ass you ever fucked…Slap that big round ass and listen to the whack…it sounds and feels just like a real ass!”

You can check out the product, in all its NSFW glory, by clicking here. I was on the fence about getting one until I read that they’ve “made the pussy and ass openings deeper than previous models.” Sold!…

Man Charged After Trying To Kill Cat That Made Him Fail Online Exam

February 8, 2012 at 1:30 pm by Jaded  

Gainesville, FL – Marvelle Rucker, 21, was taken into custody Sunday after admitting to police that he tried to smother his girlfriend’s cat because it caused him to fail an online exam.

Rucker’s girlfriend told police the cat was lethargic and unresponsive when she returned home from work Sunday afternoon. Also, in what I would have to assume was an argument over the state of the cat’s health, police say Rucker cornered the girlfriend in the bathroom and yelled at her and repeatedly poked her in the face for about 10 or 15 minutes.

When questioned about the cat, Rucker reportedly laughed as he told the arresting officer he placed a pillow over the critter’s face and punched it. He was trying to kill it, he said, because the damn thing caused him to fail a test.

Rucker admitted to cornering his girlfriend in the bathroom, telling police he wasn’t going to let her out until she listened to what he had to say. He also admitted to poking the woman in the face, but said that because he wasn’t actually beating her, he didn’t think it was a crime.…

“Possessed” Woman Charged With Slitting Her Baby’s Throat

February 8, 2012 at 9:45 am by Morbid  

CAMDENTON, MO – Police have charged a woman with first degree assault and armed criminal action after she slit her baby’s throat. This came months after she told a minister she was possessed by demons and was afraid she was going to hurt her daughter.

According to the probable cause statement, Tyler Tebrock called police to report that his mother, 39-year-old Bradie Simpson, and his 9-month-old sister were missing. He was concerned because he had found blood and a bloody knife in his mother’s bedroom.

Police searched the area and would find Simpson holding her blood-soaked baby in some woods nearby a few hours later. The infant was unresponsive, suffering from a neck wound and Simpson would not say a word to police.

They were both rushed to the hospital where the baby underwent emergency surgery and is expected to make a full recovery. Doctors say that had it not been for the cold weather and the quick responses of all involved, the little girl would have probably died.

So far no motive has been given, but police did find a plastic baggie and two spoons in her room, one of which tested positive for heroin.…

Man Sold Stolen Rental Car On Craigslist Under Name “Marcus Hertz”

February 8, 2012 at 8:16 am by kniption  

Houston, TX - An unwitting victim was relieved of almost $6000 after finding the car of his dreams – a 2011 Nissan Altima – on Craigslist.

“The car was seen on Craigslist by the victim. [He] made a meet with the suspects and looked at the vehicle and decided to buy it,” said Deputy Thomas Gilliland with the Harris County Sheriff’s Office.

Deputies said that, on January 16, the victim took the car for a test drive and then handed over $5,940 in cash to buy the car. According to deputies, he was given a title for the vehicle and left.

When the buyer tried to obtain license plates for his new vehicle, he was told that the title he received from seller “Marcus Hertz” was forged and that the car was actually a stolen Hertz rental car. A subsequent investigation would reportedly establish that the men who sold the car were, in fact, Brandon Wilson (pictured) and Bradley Eugene Rhodes, both 26.

It turns out that the Altima had been rented by Wilson back in November.…

SNU Student Stabbed By Vagrant While Feeding Homeless

February 7, 2012 at 1:37 pm by Morbid  

BETHANY, Okla. – Police say a Southern Nazarene University student was stabbed while feeding the homeless this past Saturday.

Zachary Smith, 21, and another student from the university bought a homeless man a pizza and were ministering to him before Smith was attacked. Reports say Smith placed the pizza on the ground near the man right before the man hit Smith in the head and stabbed him several times in the chest.

The students were able to drive to a doughnut shop and call 911. Smith was taken to the hospital, treated for his wounds and then released. His attacker, described as a white male in his 40s, has not been located.

SNU spokeswoman Sarah Roberts said the students were acting on their own and within the school’s motto of  ”Character, Culture, Christ Almighty This Asshole Is Trying To F*cking Kill Me”

“We are deeply concerned for the students that were involved in this traumatic experience and are most grateful that the injuries sustained were not more serious. The students involved were acting compassionately, as many of our students do on a daily basis, serving the community and meeting human needs as they encounter them,” she said in a statement.…

Man Ignites Self While Trying To Set Estranged Wife On Fire

February 7, 2012 at 1:23 pm by Jaded  

Tampa, FL — A future Darwin Award candidate has been hospitalized in critical condition after police say he inadvertently set himself on fire while attempting to set fire to his estranged wife.

Matthew Wong, apparently distraught with the state of his 25-year marriage, filled a couple of empty bleach bottles with gasoline and headed over to his wife’s residence, where he sat and waited for her to leave for work Monday morning.

When the woman exited her apartment, police say Wong began chasing her around the complex, threatening to kill her while splashing her with gas… dousing himself in the process. An alert neighbor heard the commotion and grabbed 46-year-old Gloria Davis, pulling her into a nearby apartment.

“I had to bring her up because she kind of fell,” said Capitola Scott. “She was so hysterical, so I grabbed her to bring her on up here.”

Wong then allegedly doused the entryway and bushes surrounding the apartment where the woman was hiding, screamed, “I’m gonna to kill you!” and flicked his Bic.…

Police Visit Woman To Inform Her Of Partner’s Fatal Motorcycle Crash, Find Her In Freezer

February 7, 2012 at 8:13 am by kniption  

Sydney, Australia - An unidentified 52 year-old man was riding a motorcycle on the Great Western Highway Saturday night when he reportedly crossed the median into oncoming traffic and collided head-on with a semi-trailer. The rider was ‘incinerated.’

The following day, police went to the home that the man shared with Denise Suplina, 48, to inform her of his death.  When no one answered, police forced their way in only to and discover a badly battered body – believed to be Suplina – in the refrigerator. The state of the body was such that responding officers have been offered counseling.

“Seeing a deceased person in the state they did is extremely difficult,” Detective Inspector Peter Yeomans said.

It is believed the body may have been partially frozen.

A black metal pole was removed from a bedroom inside the house. Police said they would examine it forensically to determine if it is the murder weapon.

“They seemed like normal, hard-working, decent people,” a neighbor said in an obligatory statement indicating that everything looked fine even though it clearly was not.…

Teething Baby Licks Cocaine Off Spoon Found In Room At Motel 6

February 7, 2012 at 8:10 am by kniption  

Virginia Beach, VA - When April Portis brought her 11-month-old, Jahmai, to Virginia Beach, VA to meet his grandparents for the first time, she expected the elegant splendor that only a Motel 6 can provide. Sadly, lurking behind the attentive wait-staff, the fine appointments, and seductively ornate decor was a dark side…

While the family was in their rented accomodation, the grandmother reportedly notice that the child – who is teething – had a spoon of unknown origin in his mouth.

“She looked at it and she’s like ‘look at this,’” Portis said. “I took it from her [and] the back of the spoon was all burnt up and [on] the top of the spoon was the residue from the cocaine on it.”

Portis called police who tested the spoon for cocaine. With the spoon testing positive, our jittery teether was then rushed to the hospital.

After returning from the hospital, Motel 6 executives dutifully refunded Portis the fee for that night and moved the family to another room. In a clear demonstration of their commitment to excellence, the new room was thoroughly inspected by one of the establishment’s personnel in the presence of the family.…

Sleepover Nightmare: Three Girls Die In One-Vehicle Crash, Six Injured

February 7, 2012 at 8:07 am by kniption  

Ashford, WI — Police say that at 3:34 a.m. Saturday, 18-year-old Carly Ottery was driving her Chevy Tahoe at a high rate of speed when she lost control and went into a field. Authorities say that the vehicle rolled and flipped several times. Ottery had eight other girls in her car. Three are now dead. The rest, including Ottery, are injured.

According to the sheriff’s log, Campbellsport emergency personnel responded to the crash scene with the Jaws of Life. A chaplain was also called to the scene.

Sabrina Stahl, 15, and Caitlan Scannell, 17, were pronounced dead at the scene. Katie Berg, 16 – who was originally reported as having died at the scene – was taken by helicopter from the crash site. She would later die from her injuries Sunday at Froedtert Hospital in Milwaukee.

Injured in the crash and taken to Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin in Milwaukee were Allie Adams, 16; Jessica Harbin, 16; Theresa Flood, 16; and Kasandra Anderson, 17. All were listed in serious condition Saturday.…

Teacher Charged After Her Child Found With Drug Pipe In Diaper

February 6, 2012 at 4:04 pm by Morbid  

GUTHRIE, Okla. – An Oklahoma couple have been arrested and charged with child neglect after one of their kids showed up to school with a marijuana pipe in its diaper.

The child’s parents, Jessica and Jesse Renaker, were subsequently arrested and charged with child neglect and drug possession after police showed up to their filthy home and found over an ounce of marijuana, a loaded .380-caliber handgun and four marijuana pipes within easy reach of the couple’s two children.

If convicted, they face anywhere from a $5,000 fine to  life in prison. They have since been released from jail on $52,000 each. No word on how these charges mess with Jessica’s professions as a certified early childhood education instructor for the Head Start program.

For those of you unaware, the Head Start program provides comprehensive education, health, nutrition, and parent involvement services to low-income children and their families. Basically, it is supposed to give poor kids a leg-up before entering into regular school in hopes of better test grades.

It costs taxpayers $7 billion a year and after 45 years of operations, studies show that it simply doesn’t work.…

Man Fined For Jumping On Students, Demanding Piggyback Rides

February 6, 2012 at 2:48 pm by kniption  

Helena, MT - Sherwin Shayegan, 28, admitted in court to jumping on two soccer players at a state high school tournament held in Helena in October and demanding piggyback rides.

“I made a mistake,” Shayegan told Helena Municipal Court Judge Bob Wood.  “I was just trying to be funny and get a piggyback ride.”

Innocent fun? You decide…

Deputy Helena City Attorney Luke Berger pointed out at the hearing that Shayegan has already been, in fact, permanently banned from any high school sporting event in the state of Montana by the Montana High School Association. Add to this that Shayegan himself told police at the time of his arrest that he is also banned from school sporting events in the states of Washington and Oregon.

The piggyback attacks are not limited to sporting events, though. In September 2009, Shayegan was charged with fourth-degree sexual assault after reportedly telling a high-school athlete that he wanted to interview him for a term paper. Police said that, after the student noticed that Shayegan was behaving strangely and attempted to leave, Shayegan also jumped on that student’s back and demanded a piggy back ride.…

Mom Accused Of Cooking Baby In Microwave Won’t Face Death Penalty

February 6, 2012 at 2:32 pm by Morbid  

SACRAMENTO, CA – Because she does not have a criminal past, the woman accused of killing her infant by cooking her in a microwave will not face the death penalty.

Last year, 30-year-old Ka Yang was charged with torture and murder after her 6-week-old daughter,  Mirabelle, was found dead in her home. Yang told investigators that she was holding her baby when she had a seizure and passed out. When she woke up she said she found her infant dead on the ground beside her.

An autopsy would later show that the baby had died an absolutely horrible death, suffering from the kind of extensive thermal injuries one would suffer if cooked inside microwave like a really messed up Hot Pocket.

It would take three months for police to finish their investigation but once concluded Yang was charged with murder and had her three boys, who were all under the age of 7, removed from her home.

Yang and her family learned prosecutors would not seek the death penalty during a brief hearing on Friday. However,Yang  is still facing a special-circumstance charge of torture that could send her to life in prison with no chance of parole.…

Josh Powell, Two Sons Dead In Apparent Murder Suicide

February 6, 2012 at 10:30 am by Morbid  

Puyallup, Washington – As most have learned by now, Josh Powell, the man suspected of killing his wife in 2009, has killed himself along with his two young sons.

Police say that on Sunday, a social worker arrived at Powell’s home with his two sons — Braden, 5, and Charlie, 7 — for a court ordered, supervised visit. Instead, Powell pushed the worker out of the house and locked himself inside with his two boys. A few minutes later, after the social worker had attempted to gain entry, the house exploded.

Three bodies were found together in one of the rooms in the burned house, and while they have not been positively identified, investigators believe them to be those of Powell, Braden and Charlie. Here’s a gruesome update; the bodies were identified as Josh and his two boys. Josh used a hatchet on Braden and Charlie, causing “chop” injuries to their necks, but both boys and Josh died from inhaling carbon monoxide.

The social worker stated she smelled gas shortly before the explosion while Pierce County sheriff’s spokesman Ed Troyer stated that Powell had committed murder-suicide, saying the fire “was done intentionally.”

Reports also say that Powell sent emails to friends, family and his attorney shortly before the explosion that rattled windows in the neighborhood.…

Woman Tasered After Cutting In Line At McDonald’s Drive-Thru

February 6, 2012 at 7:55 am by kniption  

Hope Mills, NC - Sheriff’s deputies were called to a North Carolina McDonald’s restaurant in response to a report of a customer blocking the drive-up window. Deputies say that they arrived to find Evangeline Marrero Lucca, 37, blocking the window while engaged in a stand-off with employees.

According to employees, the incident began with Lucca pulling up to the drive-up window without first ordering from the order screen and after bypassing the payment window. According to Debbie Tanna, a Sheriff’s Office spokeswoman, Lucca instead attempted to order her food directly at the pick-up window.

“She did not want to wait in line,” Tanna said. “They told her she had to go around and wait like everybody else did and place her order that way, that they weren’t set up at that window to take her order or take her money. … She wasn’t having any of that.”

“The woman refused to move her vehicle and became confrontational with the employees,” Tanna added.

Witness/Customer Anthony Rich said the employee at the payment window told him the woman frequently comes to the restaurant and cuts in line.…

The Pulpit Of Doom – Drunkcast Edition 1

February 5, 2012 at 11:16 am by Morbid  

Here, Now -  Well that certainly was interesting. Thanks to everyone who turned up last night and decided to have a few drinks with myself and Jaded during our Pulpit of Doom Drunkcast. You can listen to it at the link, or try to use the embedded player.

We have only had a few drunkcasts before this one, all conducted years ago and long since forgotten. This one didn’t turn out to be the train wreck I was expecting, but I’ll wait for feedback\demand before we decide on doing another one.

For those of you who missed it, I was cleaning out my liquor cabinet — switching between rum and ginger ale while also finishing off some leftover Kahlua and Baileys leftover from a night of B-52′s. Jaded was doing things much more correctly, drinking Jack and Cokes… through a twisty straw.

Listen to internet radio with DreaminDemon on Blog Talk Radio

Aside from talking about a few of the stories on the site, including Jaded’s dream date, anal bottle rockets, irate teachers and pepper spray to the vagina.…

FBI Chainsaws Wrong Door During Morning Drug Raid

February 4, 2012 at 12:12 pm by kniption  

Fitchburg, MA – A Massachusetts woman experienced the business end of an FBI chainsaw when she made the mistake of renting an apartment in the same building and floor as a suspected drug dealer.

Fitchburg – long considered the Medellín of the Northeast – was the scene of a massive citywide drug and weapons gang raid last Thursday. At 6AM, just before Judy Sanchez’ alarm was set to go off, she heard a pounding outside her second floor apartment.  This prompted her to get out of bed to investigate.

“I just happened to glance over and saw this huge chainsaw ripping down the side of my [apartment] door,” Sanchez explained. “And I was freaking out. I didn’t know what was going on.”

As soon as the chainsaw had cut through most of her door, a member of the FBI arrest team kicked it in.

“That’s when I heard the clicking of a gun and I heard ‘FBI, get down!’, so I laid right on down.”

The FBI reportedly told the woman to get control of her three-month-old pit bull puppy, which she did.…

Supermarket Burglar Found Naked, Covered In Chocolate And Peanut Butter

February 4, 2012 at 2:32 am by Jaded  

Neon, KY – A man accused of breaking into a Food World IGA was taken into custody after police found him inside the store, butt-nekkid and covered in chocolate and peanut butter.

Ok, he wasn’t totally nekkid….he was wearing a pair of black boots.

According to the police report, 22-year-old Andrew Toothman entered the store early Tuesday morning by breaking the glass in the front door. Once inside, he layered himself in peanut butter and chocolate taken from the shelves.

Police noted the human peanut butter cup also discharged several fire extinguishers throughout the store and wrote “sorry” on the floor with Nyquil.

Store manager David Whitaker estimates the damages are somewhere in the $1,500 range. That’s a lot of Skippy!

Toothman was booked on charges of burglary, criminal mischief and indecent exposure, and has been ordered held on $25,000 bond.

This won’t come as a surprise to some of you, but I have often contemplated beginning my criminal career the same way – with the addition of a few well-placed raisins, a tin foil sword and a riding lawnmower.…