When police made contact with the alleged pisser, John Posey, he appeared to be intoxicated. His eyes were bloodshot, he was unsteady on his feet, and he apparently reeked of booze. Oh yeah, and his fly was unzipped. Dead giveaway….
Posey initially told police he was just doing a little shopping and denied urinating on stuff. The officer called bullshit after being directed to a large, stinky wet spot on the carpet.
Posey eventually ‘fessed. When questioned as to why he didn’t just use the friggin’ restroom, Posey reportedly stated that “stores usually won’t let you, so I didn’t ask.” And well, he had to “pee bad.” Logic.
A Radio Shack employee told police that Posey caused about $800 in damages – his urine landed on some boxes containing televisions and various audio equipment. In addition to that, some carpet tiles are going to need replacing….…
Des Moines, IA – Students from Lincoln High School reported seeing a man in a nearby park eating rocks Monday. That man, 35-year-old Michael Sutton, was later taken into custody on a wide range of charges. Yes… rocks.
The students apparently happened upon the weird ass scene sometime Monday afternoon. When the students asked Sutton why, exactly, he was eating rocks, Sutton reportedly replied, “I lost my meth.” This, of course, prompted them to report the incident to their school resource officer.
When police arrived on scene, Sutton was still chowing down. An officer asked him what he was eating. “Rocks,” Sutton replied. The officer then asked Sutton if he thought maybe it was a little odd to be sitting in the middle of the road eating rocks. “Well, they are small rocks,” was his reply. Oh, well in that case…..
After he was finished snacking, Sutton rose to leave the area. It was then that police noticed he had a couple of kiddos in his car.…
Hallandale Beach, FL – Kayla Mendoza, 20, tweeted “2 drunk 2 care” before she allegedly driving down the wrong side of the road and causing a deadly car accident that killed two women.
Three hours after Mendoza made that tweet, she drove her vehicle the wrong way down the Sawgrass Expressway at 1:45 a.m. Sunday morning. She ended up plowing into another vehicle head-on, killing best friends, Kaitlyn Ferrante and Marisa Catronio, both 21-years-old.
Catronio was pronounced dead at the scene while Ferrante was taken to the hospital and died two days later. Mendoza was taken to the hospital where she was last listed in fair condition. Police are waiting for a toxicology report before deciding what charges will be filed against her.
“It is unknown at this time if Mendoza was driving under the influence,” said Sgt. Mark Wysocky of the Florida Highway Patrol.
Not helping Mendoza right now are the series of tweets she’s made to her “pothead princess” Twitter account in the days and hour before the fatal collision.…
HAZLE TWP, PA – A man has been arrested after police say he raped a woman and caused her serious internal injuries after he reached into her ass and pulled out a piece of her stomach.
According to reports, 29-year-old Emmanuel Paulino and the victim were about to have consensual sex when he “freaked out” and began choking her. The victim said that Paulino was still choking her when he inserted his closed fist into her anus and pulled something out of her.
The victim said she was screaming throughout the attack, but Paulino did not stop attacking her until one of her minor children, alerted to her screaming, walked into the bedroom. Police were called shortly after 4:30 a.m. and arrived at the apartment to find the victim lying in a fetal position on the floor bleeding profusely from anus.
She was transported to Hazleton General Hospital and flown to Geisinger Wyoming Valley Medical Center where she underwent surgery to repair the damage Paulino had done to her. Doctor’s would find that the “something” Paulino had pulled out of the victim was her own stomach tissue.…
ORCHARD PARK, NY – The idiot who fell 30-feet from the upper deck at Ralph Wilson Stadium while attempting to slide down a rail, has been fired from his job.
For those of you who missed the story, the Bills were playing the Jets at Ralph Wilson Stadium on Sunday when cameras captured Rob Hopkins attempting to slide down an outer rail in the 300 level. His dumbass ended up falling backwards and landing on an unsuspecting spectator in the stands below.
“He kind of bounced off him and landed about two rows down on the ground,” said one witness sitting close to where Hopkins landed with a loud derp.
Hopkins and the person he landed on didn’t suffer any life-threatening injuries, but both were taken to the hospital to be checked out and later released. The Buffalo Bills reacted immediately, banning Hopkins from future events at Ralph Wilson Stadium — for life.
“The irresponsible behavior that occurred at yesterday’s game by the fan who fell from the upper deck is a violation of our Fan Code of Conduct and cannot, and will not, be tolerated.…
KENOSHA, WI – A drunk man dressed as a clown has been accused of dangling a boy over a railroad overpass early Sunday morning.
According to police, 33-year-old Antonio Brown came home drunk after attending a Halloween party Saturday night. Still dressed as a clown, he told his girlfriend’s two kids that he wanted to go walk the train tracks, something they had all done before.
As he and the two boys – ages 13 and 8 – walked along the tracks, Brown continued drinking alcohol. The boys said Brown was “acting strange” and ended up making them drink the alcohol to the point that one of the boys threw up.
When the younger of the two boys got scared and wanted to go home, Brown got angry. The two boys took off running with Brown in hot pursuit. Brown caught up to the older boy, grabbed him, picked him up and hung him upside down from an overpass. “If you try that again, I’m going to drop you,” he allegedly informed the boy.…
BARTLESVILLE, OK – A mother has been arrested after allowing her 10-year-old daughter to get a tattoo with ink that contained human ashes.
Jennifer Wilson, 31, is facing child neglect charges after a school counselor at Jane Phillips Elementary School contacted Washington County Child Welfare about a tattoo they noticed on the left side of the girl’s body. Wilson was arrested with her husband, 33-year-old Amos Wilson, during a drug raid Thursday morning. Amos was allegedly breaking bad and making meth inside the home.
After the couple were questioned by police, they learned that the person responsible for giving the young girl the tattoo was an unlicensed tattoo artist, 31-year-old Brandon Brown. He was charged with unlawful tattooing and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. He told investigators that despite not having a license to practice, he was a very clean tattoo artist and didn’t expose his clients to any health risks.
I know that the words “clean” and “health risks” can evoke various different definitions depending on the person you ask, but Sgt Elizabeth Mitchell said they checked out Brown’s workspace and found that “there were live and dead baby roaches present, along with roach feces on the open box of disposable gloves.” They also found the ink that was used on the girl had been mixed with human ashes.…
PLATTE COUNTY, MO – A 14-year-old freshman at Park Hill High School died after taking what he thought was acid. Ethan Rickman was found dead by Platte County Sheriff’s Office deputies and paramedics after they were called to a home just before 2:30 a.m. Friday.
Another 14-year-old boy in the home, identified as Z.S. in court documents, was treated after telling the police that he and Rickman had each ingested three hits of acid. A 16-year-old girl in the home told police she was with the two boys when they purchased the drugs from 17-year-old Krista Meeks (pictured).
Meeks was questioned by police and she admitted she’d sold the two boys what they thought was LSD, except that it wasn’t. She said it was actually “a research chemical drug that mimics the effects of LSD,” according to court documents.
She went on to say that even though she’s a heavy drug user, she refuses to take the drug “because the effects are so harsh and violent” and that she’d read articles in which people have died after taking the drug.…
Redmond, WA – The ex-wife of Eric Lehtinen arrived at his home Tuesday to pick up their 4-year-old son and found that Lehtinen had attempted to kill the boy by injecting him with heroin.
When the unidentified woman got inside the locked home after a job interview, she found Lehtinen unconscious, as was their son who also had a syringe sticking out of his chest. Both were rushed to the hospital where staff found indications of needle marks on the boy’s neck and buttocks.
Tests would reveal he’d been injected with a drug cocktail of heroin, ketamine, morphine, codeine, and other drugs. The latest reports have him listed in stable condition, but doctors are unsure of what long-term damage the drugs may have caused.
Lehtinen was released from the hospital and sent straight to jail. He did not collect $200. He has been charged with attempted first-degree murder. He’s being held on $3 million bail after prosecutors described him as a “man who is willing to inject his 4-year-old son with heroin in an attempt to kill the boy” and a “dangerous man willing to do anything.” If convicted, Lehtinen will be looking at a minimum of 15 years behind bars.…
PLATTE COUNTY, MO – Police have arrested a man after the body of 35-year-old Tangela Fisher was found stuffed inside a homemade wooden box.
The box, and its gruesome contents, were found Friday morning in a dry creek bed off East Dye Store Road. It hasn’t been reported how detectives eventually identified 51-year-old Martin Lee Williams as a possible suspect, but when he was interviewed he admitted to accidentally killing Fisher while the two did drugs inside his home.
According to Williams, he prepared a syringe containing a controlled substance for both of them to use, then injected it into Fisher’s arm. When Fisher became unresponsive, Williams decided not to call for help and let her die of a drug overdose.
Now the proud owner of a dead woman, Williams decided it would be in his best interest to dispose of the body. So, using a bit of ingenuity and some tools, Williams used some scrap wood and a ping-pong table to craft Fisher a coffin. Once completed, Williams placed Fisher in the box and then dumped it where it was later discovered.…
San Antonio, TX – A 67-year-old Texas man was sentenced to 35 years in prison after being convicted last month of raping his son’s prom date.
The incident happened In May 2012, after Ismael Cruz’s son and his son’s 19-year-old girlfriend returned home from the prom. Because they had been drinking heavily, the girlfriend decided to spend the night.
The girl told police that she woke up in the middle of the night with her dress partially removed and someone on top of her. When she realized it wasn’t her boyfriend, but rather her boyfriend’s father, she pushed Cruz away and screamed for help.
Cruz’s son ran out and began beating him, and continued to try and get his hands on him even while police were on the scene. Cruz, who has two prior drunk driving convictions, told investigators he’d drank more than 60 beers that night.
Cruz’s attorney had asked state District Judge Ray Olivarri for the minimum penalty of 25-years in prison. Judge Olivarri took the attorney’s suggestion under consideration, then sentenced Cruz to 35 years behind bars.…
A woman was hospitalized last week after stealing $5,000 from her boyfriend and then trying to use a toilet brush to remove the stolen money from her ass.
Police were called to a home where a man said his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend, 43-year-old Christie Black, had stolen $5000 dollars. The man told police he’d suspected Black had been stealing from him so he set a trap for Black by placing two envelopes containing $5,000 in $100 bills in an old medicine bag that he then placed on a foosball table.
The man went to bed, only to wake up later to find Black was still awake and the medicine bag was missing. When he confronted Black about the missing money, Black reportedly became ill and puked up a baggy containing partially dissolved pills.
When he asked if his missing money would be coming up next, she explained that it might, just not from that end.…
Berne, NY – A 50-year-old New York man died the other day after a booby trap he’d placed to protect some pot plants turned his ass into a human Pez dispenser.
Albany County Sheriff Craig Apple said Daniel Ricketts was driving an ATV in the backyard of his property around 2:30 p.m. Saturday when he ran into a heavy gauge wire that had been placed at neck height.
The heavy gauge wire was one of several booby traps Ricketts had set up to protect four marijuana plants he planted on his property. Ricketts was nearly decapitated by the wire and died after being thrown from his ATV. Apple says alcohol may have been a factor in the accident.
Police found several other traps Ricketts had placed to protect his sweat leaf, including a barbed wire trap and a leg trap similar to those used to trap coyotes. The marijuana plants were removed from the property on Saturday, but so far there have been no arrests.
Sheriff Apple said it’s common for people to use the rural hills in the area to grow pot.…
ASHLAND, WV – Sheriff’s deputies say they arrested a pair of McDowell County parents after they found the couples’ young children living in filth, being held in a room where they were handling and eating human excrement. Yum.
According to WVVA, Michael Paul Perry, 28, and Crystal Sidney Perry, 19, were arrested and charged with child abuse creating substantial risk of injury. Not to mention bad breath.
Martin West, the McDowell County Sheriff, told WVVA TV that detectives responded to a call from Child Protective Services employees who were trying to remove the kids from the home in the Ashland area on Thursday afternoon. Not surprisingly, the parents weren’t eager to cooperate and the employees told police they felt threatened.
Officers say that when they entered the residence, they found two toddlers, ages 1 and 2, being kept in a room where they were eating human waste. A criminal complaint filed in McDowell County Magistrate Court said the children were ‘filthy’, and worse.
“The room in which the children were being held had human excrement on the floor and that the children had been eating the excrement,” the complaint said.…
Police say 23-year-old Sean Carnell’s reign of bath salt terror started around 9:30 a.m. at Tully Park when he fed a 15-year-old boy several knuckle sandwiches before stealing the kid’s skateboard.
Carnell is then believed to have knocked a nearby cyclist unconscious before kicking a 10-year-old boy’s dog in the ribs. From there, Carnell made his way to 8th Street where he beat the shit out of a construction worker with a shovel.
Trevor McMillan told reporters the victim’s name is Mike Rice that he’d been working in a ditch when Carnell came up behind him, “took the shovel sideways” and hit Rice across the face several times. Rice ended up in the hospital with several bones broken in his face, along with a spinal injury.
But Carnell wasn’t done. After re-arranging Rice’s face with a shovel, he forced his way into an apartment and tried to strangle a 36-year-old woman.…
Lauderhill, FL - Two police officers turned themselves in last week amid allegations that they pressured two female DUI suspects into giving them sexual favors in return for not arresting them. One officer allegedly ordered one of the women to punch him in the nuts because it turned him on.
Police officer Thomas Merenda, 34, and his partner, Franklin Hartley, 33, pulled over two intoxicated women around 4 am at a Taco Bell. The women allege that Hartley told them he could arrest them, but then told them to drive behind a strip mall where Merenda was waiting.
Hartley followed them and once there, began to “kiss and touch” the passenger’s breasts “while reminding her she could be arrested.” Then he reportedly ordered her to have sex with him, which she did.
At the same time, Merenda gave the other female a very thorough “pat down” and then asked her to punch him in the “nuts” and “reassured her that this was ok and this turned him on.” His ever-helpful partner encouraged the woman to do so by saying that he “really enjoys this” and the woman kicked Merenda in the balls.…
WASHINGTON, D.C. Police have charged a 33-year-old man with punching his girlfriend’s 4-year-old several times in the abdomen with enough force to lacerate his liver.
According to police, Peter Hendy was watching Kamari Taylor on Monday when the boy rode his scooter into the street. When Hendy reprimanded the boy, Kamari allegedly told Hendy, “I don’t have to listen to you…you’re not my daddy.”
Hendy didn’t like that response, so he punched the boy twice in the abdomen, then let Kamari ride away on his scooter. He then called the boy’s mother several times to say he had to discipline her son for being a smart mouth kid. When the little boy returned home 45 minutes later, he was sweating profusely and shaking with severe bruising to his midsection.
Instead of getting him any help, Hendy put the boy to bed and gave him some water. He then went outside to sell marijuana. When he came back inside an hour later, he found Kamari’s condition had worsened and he now had a “blank look” on his face.…
CALDWELL COUNTY, NC – Three men have been arrested for making meth after one of them called 911 claiming he got lost in the woods while searching for paranormal activity.
Police say they received a call Monday night from 39-year-old Sonny Clay Hyatt. He told them he and his friends had been out investigating ghost stories in the woods when they got separated. Hyatt told the dispatch that he was now lost in the woods and needed help getting out.
Deputies ended up using Hyatt’s cell phone signal to track him down, but his story just didn’t sound right. After further questioning, Hyatt admitted that he and his two friends, 38-year-old Thomas Glenn Imler Jr. and 31-year-old Eric John Schmidt, weren’t in the woods looking for spooky ghosts – they were in the woods to make sweet, sweet meth.
Wyatt told them that they had gone into the woods to make meth because they were too afraid to do it in their apartment. The three got into an argument when their cook failed, and his two friends left him in the woods and made it safely back to their apartment.…