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Ryan BensonSeaside, OR — A couple of morons are facing charges after they allegedly tipped a waitress with an envelope filled with meth last week.

Ryan Bensen, 40, and Erica Manley, 37, were getting their drink on at the Twisted Fish in Seaside late Friday evening, and when it came time to make good on their bill, they apparently showed their waitress their appreciation by slipping her some go fast with the cash.

We seriously need an “Are you fucking stupid” tag here at the Demon.

After getting a good look at her “tip,” the waitress called police. Though the envelope has been sent to the lab to be analyzed, the responding officer pretty much knew what it was on sight. It’s Oregon, after all…

Benson and Manley were taken into custody at the scene. A quick search revealed more meth in Manley’s purse. After procuring a warrant to search the couple’s car, even more meth was discovered. And a search of the couple’s motel room revealed meth and the tools necessary to produce more meth.…

Dawn LohmannCorvallis, OR — The not-so-hot mess to the left is 24-year-old Dawn Lohmann — she was arrested on numerous charges after allegedly going all neanderthal and beating the crap out of a disabled vehicle on I-5 Sunday, as the driver and passenger watched in horror.

The vehicle’s passengers, a 53 and 61-year-old woman, were out doing whatever it is women that age do on a Sunday morning, when their car ran out of gas on the highway. As the two woman dialed for help, Lohmann, barefoot, approached the car.

The two women wisely rolled up the windows and locked the doors. In response, Lohmann reportedly dropped her pants, exposing her lady bits to the women. And then it got weird…..

After dropping trou, Lohmann, barefoot and presumably pantless(?), took off across the highway.

She reappeared just moments later and jumped on the hood of the car. She then began jumping up and down, the women later told police. No word on whether any grunting, growling was involved. Also unknown, whether the words HULK or SMASH was used at any point.…

Natalie WebbELK CITY, OK – Police say 30-year-old Natalie Webb is facing multiple sex abuse charges after she allegedly pimped out her four young children.

Authorities in Beckham County say the abuse happened multiple times between December 2012 and March 2013. A DHS investigator alerted police to the allegations in August after a 9-year-old child told them that his 8-year-old brother and his two 3-year-old sisters had all been molested.

He said that his mother was “selling sex” from him and his siblings to unknown adults. The boy also told the DHS investigator that he would hide from his mother in a dumpster, and that he’d accidentally walked in on the abuse at one point.

Aside from the sexual abuse claims, a police affidavit also alleges Webb sold meth out of her home and was often high around the kids. The report stated, “[He] thinks when mom took the needles it would make her act different. He thinks that because she would act weird and her breath would smell funny and her arm would have little dots where it was bleeding.”

 When questioned, Webb adamantly denied she sold the kids for sex or sold meth from her home, but did admit to being high around the children. 

Angelia Marie MayoHarriman, TN — Angelia Maria Mayo, 29, got herself banned from Walmart for life, and is facing numerous charges after some naked shenanigans Tuesday.

Mayo allegedly popped some Xanax, then headed to Walmart for some new clothes, makeup and jewelry. Initially seen by loss prevention officers in the store, Mayo had been filling a trash bag with items pilfered from the shelves totaling $1,148.67. She then stumbled into the clothing section, removed the clothes she wore into the store, dumped them into a trash can and stood in the aisle, naked, looking for some new threads.

By the time officers arrived, Mayo was apparently disoriented and didn’t know where she was. According to Officer Charles Haubrich’s report, “Her speech was slurred, she was unsteady on her feet, couldn’t hold her head up, and her pupils were like pin holes.” Classy.

Not long afterward, a female officer arrived on the scene to escort Mayo into a dressing room and assist her in changing back into the clothes she arrived in. Not surprisingly, 36 Xanax pills were allegedly recovered from Mayo’s purse, of which she admitted to taking two of before the incident.…

Axel Esteban InostrozaFort Lauderdale, FL – Axel Esteban Inostroza, 27, is in custody after allegedly hitting 53-year-old cyclist Craig Camlin, and driving away with the victim still stuck to his vehicle.

Early Monday morning, Camlin went on what he thought would be a nice bike ride, only to be hit from behind by a vehicle matching the description of Inostroza’s black Ford Mustang. After impact, police say, Camlin hit the front windshield, rolled over the roof of the car, and landed onto the back windshield where he was wedged between the window and the spoiler.

Inostroza is said to have then driven for another two miles before dumping the injured man in a wooded area behind a dumpster. After that, he did what every normal person does after an accident — he went home and took a nap.

A few hours later, a landscaping crew found the man clinging to life. 911 was called and Camlin was taken to the hospital. His body temperature was so low when they got to him that if he hadn’t been found when he was, it’s likely he wouldn’t have survived.…

Anthony Gambale and Gabriella KatanovBrooklyn, NY – A teenage couple suffered serious burns after they attempted to make a potent form of marijuana but only ended up blowing themselves up inside a garage.

Anthony Gambale, 19, and Gabriella Katanov, 17, were making their stash 80 percent stronger by creating what is called “ear wax,” “dabs,” “honey oil,” or “butter.” The names are derived from the final product’s yellowish color and gooey consistency. 

There are many how-to videos available online showing people how they can turn their herb into ear wax if you want to try it yourself, but one of the main steps includes soaking your marijuana in butane.

This couple had already finished that step, using a 30-gallon tub to cover some cannabis, and were in the process of evaporating the gas when one of the morons decided that was the perfect time to light up a cigarette.

The resulting explosion woke up the neighbors, who reported hearing the couple screaming for help from inside the burning garage. Gambale and Katanov were both transported to Staten Island University Hospital in serious condition, suffering from second- and third-degree burns.…

Lewis AtwoodCasco Township, MI – A man in Michigan was arrested after he allegedly punched his mother in the face repeatedly while decorating the family Christmas tree.

Pasco Township Police received a 911 call from a home on Friday with no one on the line. However, shouting could be heard as well as a female yelling “you are hurting me.” When police arrived at the home, they found 33-year-old Lewis Atwood with his girlfriend, mother and brother.

According to the report, the family had been decorating the family Christmas tree when a drunken Atwood flew into a jealous rage over finding his brother had a personalized ornament to hang on the tree, but he did not. In response, he began repeatedly punching his 58-year-old mom in the face.

The woman suffered a bloody nose, swollen eye and a swollen lip. As for Atwood, he had minor injuries to his knuckles and hands consistent with drunkenly punching your mother in the face multiple times. Atwood was arrested for domestic violence and booked into the county jail, where he’s being held on a $5000 bond.…

Brian Anthony CheekSante Fe, TX — A Sante Fe couple were taken into police custody Friday after police raided their home and found a bunch of drugs and stuff. That’s not what landed them here on the DD, though… it was the bodies of nearly two dozen tortured cats that earned them their spot.

Brian Cheek and his wife, Veronica Springer, were apparently the target of a somewhat lengthy narcotics investigation. When police finally raided Friday, a search of the couple’s home revealed roughly 9 grams of crystal meth, a scale and packaging materials. In addition to the narcotics, a stolen ATV valued at about $14,000 was recovered.

In addition to the drugs, police reportedly found about 20 dead cats, ranging from kittens to adults, on the property. Each and every one had apparently been tortured. Investigators stated that there was evidence of blunt force trauma, disemboweling, strangulation, and burning. One of the dead cats was discovered in a box in the bed of Cheek’s truck.

Remains of several of the cats were picked up by Galveston County Sheriff’s Office Animal Cruelty investigators and will be examined by necropsy.…

Adult Son Bites Father’s Eyebrow Off

December 14, 2013 at 3:03 am by  

2013-12-14_100254Burien, WA – A man is being charged with assault after biting his loving dad’s eyebrow off in a drunken dispute.

Hermilo Salmeron was driving his son, 30 year-old Joel Salmeron-Ciprian, his son’s wife, as well as his grandkids home from a wedding because his son was too drunk to drive.

Prosecutor’s have relayed that Salmeron-Ciprian munchy-wunched on his father’s face after the patriarch pulled the car over because his inebriated failure of a son was screaming expletives at him, punched him in the face, and eventually placed his hands around the driver’s throat.

A fight ensued after both men exited the truck leading up to the bite. All of this in front of the passengers in the car, which included young children.

King County deputy sheriffs answered the call and found Salmeron-Ciprian pinned to the ground by his father, who was bleeding profusely from his face. Medics responded to the scene and took the older man to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle.

Upon his arrest, Salmeron-Ciprian decided to challenge deputies, which led to his dumb ass being subdued with a stun-gun.…

Juan GonzalezDavie, FL — A grieving father, angry over the death of his son in an alleged drunk driving accident, was arrested at the courthouse Monday after attempting to knock the stupid out of the man accused in the boy’s death.

On June 12, 2011, Juan Gonzalez Jr. was riding his motorcycle when he slammed into a Jeep Cherokee driven by John Powers. Police allege Powers was attempting to make a u-turn from northbound State Road 7 at Orange Drive. Gonzalez, who was traveling south, slammed on his brakes to avoid hitting the Jeep. The motorcycle skidded, slid on its side, and slammed into the Jeep. Gonzalez died from his injuries the next day.

A Davie police officer noticed the smell of alcohol on Powers’ breath, and several empty beer cans were found in his vehicle. He blew a 0.15, which is nearly twice the legal limit.

Powers was ultimately charged with DUI manslaughter and manslaughter with an unlawful blood alcohol level. He pleaded not guilty Monday. The Gonzalez family was in attendance at that hearing.…

Ethan CouchFORT WORTH, TX — A juvenile court judge has gotten some people upset after she sentenced 16-year-old Ethan Couch to 10 years’ probation for the drunk driving crash that killed four people.

Back in June, Breanna Mitchell’s SUV had a flat tire so she pulled over to the side of the road. Hollie Boyles, 52, and her daughter, Shelby Boyles, 21, lived nearby and had came out to help Mitchell. Brian Jennings, 41, was driving by and also stopped to see if he could lend a hand.

Unfortunately for all of them, 16-year-old Ethan Couch was also on the road, driving drunk. He and some of his seven passengers had stolen some beer from a Walmart hours earlier and were speeding when Couch lost control of his truck, left the road and struck Breanna’s SUV.

Breanna, Hollie, Shelby and Brian were not in the road when the collision occurred, but they were all killed on impact and thrown 50 to 60 yards away. One of Couch’s passengers suffered serious injuries while another remains paralyzed and only able to communicate by blinking his eyes.…

John PoseyParagould, AR — A 65-year-old man was jailed last weekend after he allegedly walked into a Radio Shack and started pissing all over the place.

When police made contact with the alleged pisser, John Posey, he appeared to be intoxicated. His eyes were bloodshot, he was unsteady on his feet, and he apparently reeked of booze. Oh yeah, and his fly was unzipped. Dead giveaway….

Posey initially told police he was just doing a little shopping and denied urinating on stuff. The officer called bullshit after being directed to a large, stinky wet spot on the carpet.

Posey eventually ‘fessed. When questioned as to why he didn’t just use the friggin’ restroom, Posey reportedly stated that “stores usually won’t let you, so I didn’t ask.” And well, he had to “pee bad.” Logic.

A Radio Shack employee told police that Posey caused about $800 in damages – his urine landed on some boxes containing televisions and various audio equipment. In addition to that, some carpet tiles are going to need replacing….…

Michael David SuttonDes Moines, IA Students from Lincoln High School reported seeing a man in a nearby park eating rocks Monday. That man, 35-year-old Michael Sutton, was later taken into custody on a wide range of charges. Yes… rocks.

The students apparently happened upon the weird ass scene sometime Monday afternoon. When the students asked Sutton why, exactly, he was eating rocks, Sutton reportedly replied, “I lost my meth.” This, of course, prompted them to report the incident to their school resource officer.

When police arrived on scene, Sutton was still chowing down. An officer asked him what he was eating. “Rocks,” Sutton replied. The officer then asked Sutton if he thought maybe it was a little odd to be sitting in the middle of the road eating rocks. “Well, they are small rocks,” was his reply. Oh, well in that case…..

After he was finished snacking, Sutton rose to leave the area. It was then that police noticed he had a couple of kiddos in his car.…

Kayla MendozaHallandale Beach, FL – Kayla Mendoza, 20, tweeted “2 drunk 2 care” before she allegedly driving down the wrong side of the road and causing a deadly car accident that killed two women.

Three hours after Mendoza made that tweet, she drove her vehicle the wrong way down the Sawgrass Expressway at 1:45 a.m. Sunday morning. She ended up plowing into another vehicle head-on, killing best friends, Kaitlyn Ferrante and Marisa Catronio, both 21-years-old.

Catronio was pronounced dead at the scene while Ferrante was taken to the hospital and died two days later. Mendoza was taken to the hospital where she was last listed in fair condition. Police are waiting for a toxicology report before deciding what charges will be filed against her.

“It is unknown at this time if Mendoza was driving under the influence,” said Sgt. Mark Wysocky of the Florida Highway Patrol.

Not helping Mendoza right now are the series of tweets she’s made to her “pothead princess” Twitter account in the days and hour before the fatal collision.…

Emmanuel PaulinoHAZLE TWP, PA – A man has been arrested after police say he raped a woman and caused her serious internal injuries after he reached into her ass and pulled out a piece of her stomach.

According to reports, 29-year-old Emmanuel Paulino and the victim were about to have consensual sex when he “freaked out” and began choking her. The victim said that Paulino was still choking her when he inserted his closed fist into her anus and pulled something out of her.

The victim said she was screaming throughout the attack, but Paulino did not stop attacking her until one of her minor children, alerted to her screaming, walked into the bedroom. Police were called shortly after 4:30 a.m. and arrived at the apartment to find the victim lying in a fetal position on the floor bleeding profusely from anus.

She was transported to Hazleton General Hospital and flown to Geisinger Wyoming Valley Medical Center where she underwent surgery to repair the damage Paulino had done to her. Doctor’s would find that the “something” Paulino had pulled out of the victim was her own stomach tissue.…

Rob HopkinsORCHARD PARK, NY  – The idiot who fell 30-feet from the upper deck at Ralph Wilson Stadium while attempting to slide down a rail, has been fired from his job.

For those of you who missed the story,  the Bills were playing the Jets at Ralph Wilson Stadium on Sunday when cameras captured Rob Hopkins attempting to slide down an outer rail in the 300 level. His dumbass ended up falling backwards and landing on an unsuspecting spectator in the stands below.

“He kind of bounced off him and landed about two rows down on the ground,” said one witness sitting close to where Hopkins landed with a loud derp.

Hopkins and the person he landed on didn’t suffer any life-threatening injuries, but both were taken to the hospital to be checked out and later released. The Buffalo Bills reacted immediately, banning Hopkins from future events at Ralph Wilson Stadium — for life.

“The irresponsible behavior that occurred at yesterday’s game by the fan who fell from the upper deck is a violation of our Fan Code of Conduct and cannot, and will not, be tolerated.…

KENOSHA, WIAntonio BrownA drunk man dressed as a clown has been accused of dangling a boy over a railroad overpass early Sunday morning.

According to police, 33-year-old Antonio Brown came home drunk after attending a Halloween party Saturday night. Still dressed as a clown, he told his girlfriend’s two kids that he wanted to go walk the train tracks, something they had all done before.

As he and the two boys – ages 13 and 8 – walked along the tracks, Brown continued drinking alcohol. The boys said Brown was “acting strange” and ended up making them drink the alcohol to the point that one of the boys threw up.

When the younger of the two boys got scared and wanted to go home, Brown got angry. The two boys took off running with Brown in hot pursuit. Brown caught up to the older boy, grabbed him, picked him up and hung him upside down from an overpass. “If you try that again, I’m going to drop you,” he allegedly informed the boy.…

Jennifer WilsonBARTLESVILLE, OK – A mother has been arrested after allowing her 10-year-old daughter to get a tattoo with ink that contained human ashes.

Jennifer Wilson, 31, is facing child neglect charges after a school counselor at Jane Phillips Elementary School contacted Washington County Child Welfare about a tattoo they noticed on the left side of the girl’s body. Wilson was arrested with her husband, 33-year-old Amos Wilson, during a drug raid Thursday morning. Amos was allegedly breaking bad and making meth inside the home.

After the couple were questioned by police, they learned that the person responsible for giving the young girl the tattoo was an unlicensed tattoo artist, 31-year-old Brandon Brown. He was charged with unlawful tattooing and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. He told investigators that despite not having a license to practice, he was a very clean tattoo artist and didn’t expose his clients to any health risks.

I know that the words “clean” and “health risks” can evoke various different definitions depending on the person you ask, but Sgt Elizabeth Mitchell said they checked out Brown’s workspace and found that “there were live and dead baby roaches present, along with roach feces on the open box of disposable gloves.” They also found the ink that was used on the girl had been mixed with human ashes.…


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