In The Mean Time...
Here, Now – I would like to thank everyone who turned out to last night’s Pulpit of Doom Podcast with me and Athena. I can’t speak for Athena, but for once, I was completely sober. It turned out pretty good and I think my “uhs” and “ums” were at a bare minimum as I didn’t catch any shit from PaganOne about it yet.
As usual, we talked about the top 10 stories circulating on the site for the last week, including women killing children, the Backpage Cock Gobbler, child neglect, minors and the old cheerleaders who love them, beating kids until they pass out, and starving toddlers living with a corpse. But the majority of the time was spent talking about teenage suicide – where I went on my usual rant on why it’s retarded that personal finance and mental health are not required courses in our children’s schools – and pit bulls eating children.
The latter of which I explain my stance on the breed – especially since I get accused of hating them so much.…Continue Reading
Tallahasee, FL – Police say 22-year-old Jenna Porter scored a hole in two at the Hilaman Golf Course after using a handgun to kill her 3-year-old daughter then herself.
Golfers playing at the public golf course heard two gunshots around 5pm Tuesday and went to investigate. That’s when they found Porter and her daughter, 3-year-old Scarlett Porter, dead in a grassy area between the golf course and the apartment complex where the two lived.
The golfers called 911 and stayed with the bodies until police arrived on the scene. Police say a handgun was found at the scene and that Porter shot her daughter once in the head before turning the gun on herself.
“This is a terrible, tragic set of circumstances,” Leon County Sheriff’s Office Spokesman Lt. James McQuaig said. “Our thoughts and prayers go out to those left behind because of this tragic set of circumstances.”
One neighbor was shocked at Porter’s actions, stating that she and her daughter “seemed like normal people.”
“It made me feel sad because she is lying on the ground and there’s nothing she could do for herself … and that’s kind of shocking,” said one witness who lived at the apartments.…Continue Reading
Bryan County, GA – A 2-year-old-girl was killed in her backyard after seven seven dogs, all pit bulls or pit bull mixes, mauled her to death while her grandmother slept inside the house.
According to Bryan County Deputy Sheriff James Beatty, the girl’s grandmother woke up after hearing a commotion outside and discovered the dogs attacking 21-month-old Monica Renee Laminack in the backyard. She, along with other family members, rushed outside to pull the dogs off the girl, but she was already dead.
“When we got here and spoke to EMS, they told us that when they got here, she was already cold. There was nothing they could do,” Beatty said.
Police are not sure why the girl was alone with the dogs or what made them suddenly attack her. Beatty said the girl’s 12-year-old brother may have taken her out to play and forgot she was out there, or she may have gone out through a doggy door.
“Apparently what happened is the child and the dogs were all in the house together and exited the house through the doggie door,” Bryan County Sheriff Clyde Smith said during a press conference Thursday morning in Pembroke.…Continue Reading
GREENWOOD, SC – Michelle Thomas was arrested after she attacked her boyfriend with a knife, and took his prosthetic leg so he could not chase after her.
Thomas called Greenwood police to say she had just been attacked by her live-in boyfriend. She told them he was drunk and began hitting her after she threw him a pack of cigarettes. She said she ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife that she used to slash at the man when he would not stop attacking her.
She said that after she cut his hands, she removed his prosthetic leg and tossed it out the door in an attempt to hinder his ability to chase after her. When police arrived, they noted a knot on Thomas’ forehead and a cut on her hand she said she received when her boyfriend tried to take away the knife.
However, the boyfriend had a different version of what happened. Police say when they arrived, he was in the bedroom screaming, ”She tried to kill me for no reason!” Police found a large amount of blood in the hallway and bedroom, and he’d sustained a stab wounds to both his hands and his left thigh.…Continue Reading
TEMPE, AZ - Andrew Kent is facing assault charges after the 21-year-old jackass tossed vodka into a bonfire at an Arizona State University frat party, severely burning two teenage girls.
One of the victims is a 17-year-old high school student from California who was at ASU on a recruiting trip, the other is an 18-year-old female ASU student. Both girls were invited to a party at a fraternity house located off campus.
According to Tempe Sgt. Michael Pooley, the party had been going on since Friday and there were about 300 people present and a lot of underage drinking going on.
According to witnesses, the teen was standing next to a a bonfire when Kent, a junior at ASU and a member of the Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity, threw a vodka bottle into a bonfire. The resulting explosion set the two teen girls on fire.
Both teens suffered 2nd and 3rd degree burns as a result. The 17-year-old sustained severe burns to her legs, while the 18-year-old sustained serious burns from the back of her shoulder to the back of her legs.…Continue Reading
Ocala, FL - Jess Palmer, 31, and Stephanie Palmer, 25, were arrested for child neglect after their children were found covered in bug bites and their own waste, living in a home full of trash and rotted food.
Deputies initially responded to the couple’s home after a report of a domestic violence assault, but once inside, they found the couples’ children, ages 1, 2 and 5, living in squalid conditions.
One of the younger children was sleeping in a crib on a soiled mattress with exposed metal springs. Next to the child was rotting sandwich meat. Another child was found in her room, naked with what smelled and looked like urine in her hair and several insects crawling on the child.
Knives were also found within reach of the children, and cocaine residue was located on a bathroom counter.
Aside from the child neglect charges, Stephanie Palmer was also charged with domestic battery, related to the original disturbance call, and is being held without bail. Jess Palmer remained in jail on a $5,000 bond.…Continue Reading
UNION, NJ — A 4-year-old boy was found starving inside an apartment with the body of his mother, who had been dead for about five days.
On Tuesday morning, a maintenance worker called police to report a foul odor coming from an apartment whose door was ajar but locked with a chain. When police arrived and entered the apartment, they found the emaciated 4-year-old inside with his mother, who was dead in her bedroom.
The boy told police he tried to heal his mother by rubbing lotion on her. He also told them he was unable to unlock the front door and had not eaten because he was unable to open the refrigerator.
“He made a statement to the officer that ‘There’s plenty of food in the refrigerator, but I couldn’t open the door,’” said Police Director Daniel Zieser. “So that’s kind of sad that nobody checked on him, no family members. It’s sad, very sad.”
Neighbors said they never heard any cries for help from the apartment, and police said there are no records of any 911 calls being made from the apartment.…Continue Reading
ARLINGTON, VA - Police arrested James Watson after he beat his roommate for using a permanent marker to draw a penis on his face while he was sleeping.
Watson, 31, fell asleep on his couch after a night of drinking. When he woke up at around 5:30 a.m., he became enraged when he found his roommate had drawn a dick on his face, and that it would not wash off.
Police say that Watson ran upstairs to the bedroom of the roommate he suspected of drawing the dick, and jumped on him while he was sleeping. After repeatedly punching the other man in the face, a third roommate managed to separate the two. According to police, the roommates admitted they often play pranks on each other when drunk.
A little over an hour after the assault, the beaten artist decided he was going to press charges and called police. The roommate paid for his dick move with extensive injuries to his face, including a swollen, bleeding eye, and was taken to the hospital.…Continue Reading
Police are investigating a shooting in which 34-year-old Christopher Stanlane accidentally shot and killed his 10-year-old son while cleaning his shotgun.
On Sunday afternoon, Stanlane was at his home wiping down a shotgun when it accidentally went off. Unfortunately, his son was sitting in front of him watching television when it happened, and the poor kid took a shotgun blast to the back of the head.
Stanlane dropped the gun and rushed his eight-year-old daughter out of the room. His wife, who was cooking dinner at the time, called 911. Paramedics pronounced Christopher Stanlane Jr. dead on scene.
I don’t know if any of you have seen what a shotgun blast does to the human head, but I can only imagine what that room looked like after that gun went off. If there’s a silver lining to this kid getting shot, it’s that he didn’t feel a thing.
Captain Anthony Thompson says the Robeson County District Attorney will ultimately decide what if any charges will be filed against Stanlane. Robert Simmons, the boy’s uncle, said the boy’s parents were “in shock, trying to come to terms with what happened.”
I cannot imagine the pain the Stanlane family is going through right now.…Continue Reading
Utah – Kyle Stocking died on Sunday after a failed rope-swing attempt from the famous Corona Arch.
For reasons I do not pretend to understand, some people like to jump from the 140-foot high, red sandstone arch, as seen in various YouTube videos. But for one brave adventurer, this activity ended in his death after the 22-year-old made a fatal miscalculation.
Sheriff’s Lt. Kim Neal reported that the “length of rope to swing from the arch was miscalculated and when [Stocking] swung under the arch, he struck the ground . . . receiving fatal injuries.”
After Stocking hit the ground, five friends he was with called for help. Unfortunately, rescuers would find Stocking dead at the bottom of the Corona Arch.
Deputy director of the School and Institutional Trust Lands Administration said the land is public and has remained open to private parties for climbing, rappelling and swinging, and she doesn’t see that changing in light of Stocking’s death.
“As far as the general public is concerned, there is no way we can keep people out of these areas,” Kim Christy said.…Continue Reading
Pittsburgh, PA – On Monday, 41-year-old Leon Walls walked inside a Pittsburgh Target and used a long kitchen knife to stab three people, including a teenage girl.
Walls allegedly ran into the East Liberty store, after stabbing Jobe Wright in the arm. Walls headed towards the restrooms at the back of the store while Wright and another man searched for him in the store, one of whom was carrying a baseball bat.
Walls ended up at the checkout lane, where he grabbed 16-year-old Allison Meadows – who was in town from Tennessee to visit family – and used her as a shield.
“You come close, I’ll stab her,” Walls allegedly warned the men before stabbing Meadows twice in the back.
“He kept stabbing her. Me and like four or five other guys, they ran and tackled him. He cut the one guy’s lip almost off. The other guy’s finger was, like, hanging off,’ one witness said.
When police arrived, they found found a group of people where holding Walls to the ground, and multiple people where suffering stab wounds.…Continue Reading
SANTA FE, TX - Laura Lea Kolb was so angry with her boyfriend after an argument that she killed his 4-year-old daughter, according to Santa Fe police.
Kolb lived at the Santa Fe Courtyard apartments with Kevin Moore and his two young daughters from a previous relationship. After the couple got into an argument at around 3 a.m. Saturday, Moore walked out and talked to a downstairs neighbor to cool off.
Kolb also came out of the apartment but fell down some stairs. When she went back inside, police say the 36-year-old took out her frustration on Moore’s 4-year-old daughter, Taylor.
“She kept hollering ‘Kevin,’” a neighbor said. “Kevin’s like ‘I’ll be up there in a minute, I’ll be up there in a minute.’ And it was like an hour later, all the sirens come up.”
Turns out that when Moore went back in his apartment, he found that Kolb had fatally injured Taylor. He ran outside holding his daughter’s limp body and a neighbor tried to revive her, but it was too late.…Continue Reading
PALM BAY, FL - Kathryn Wright was arrested after police say the 58-year-old grandmother got drunk off her ass while chaperoning a bus filled with children returning from an elementary school field trip.
Police say Wright drank two bottles of diluted vodka while in accompanying her grandson, and 200 other students at Lockmar Elementary School, on a trip to WonderWorks in Orlando. On the way back to Palm Bay, Wright became belligerent and started using profanity in front of approximately 36 other students on the bus.
She got so bad that other adults on the bus moved Wright’s grandson away from her because he was getting upset. When the adults tried to calm Wright down, she shouted at the others, telling them to “get the (expletive) out of my way or else,” and pushed one woman.
Police were called and met the bus before it got back to the school. Wright was so drunk at that point, she couldn’t even walk off the bus on her own. She was arrested and charged with disorderly intoxication and battery.…Continue Reading
NEW ALBANY, IN — Police have arrested 18-year-old Cody Burns, accusing him of stabbing his father after he told his son to pull up his pants.
The incident happened last Tuesday after Burns’ father told the boy he was lookin’ like a fool with yo’ pants on the ground. Burns allegedly walked to the kitchen and retrieved a knife, then walked into the living room and stabbed his father in the left side of his chest.
The man was taken to the hospital where his wounds were not considered life-threatening. Another person was in the home and witnessed the assault and Cody Burns was charged with battery by means of a deadly weapon. He is currently behind bars on $75,000 bond.
Here’s a true story about my dad and how he expressed his dislike for a shirt I planned on wearing to a restaurant with the family. When I was 14, my family was going to meet other family members at a steak house. I decided that the perfect shirt for the occasion was a t-shirt that I had cut the collar and sleeves off of, and was decorated with a slew of cow bones.…Continue Reading
Cascade Township, MI - Massage therapist, 49-year-old Lawrence Urban, was arrested on charges of fourth-degree criminal sexual conduct after a female customer reported that he touched her inappropriately during a massage.
The victim says she received a massage from Urban (*gag*) on March 15th at the Therapeutic Stress Free Massage Center that will probably leave her compulsively showering for the rest of her life after she claims Urban touched her genital area (*dry retch*) and asked her “if she wanted to orgasm.” Oh God, here it comes… (*baaarf*)
After the victim said, “no,” Urban allegedly told her, “your body is telling me one thing, but you are telling me another.” Urban admitted to police he’d touched the woman’s genital area without her consent while she was laying face-down on the massaging table. He explained that he was given every indication through the woman’s body language, and the way her muscles felt, that she wanted to be pleased sexually.
Urban is currently free on bond while awaiting arraignment. He is being charged as a second-time felony offender due to a 1981 conviction for delivering marijuana to Texas. …Continue Reading
CLARKSVILLE, TN - A jury in Tennessee found 52-year-old Karen Jeffries guilty of assault charges after she dumped a pot of hot oatmeal on her husband.
Back in 2011, Jeffries was arrested after she dumped a hot pot of oatmeal on her husband, Douglas Jeffries, while he was sleeping in a chair. Douglas would suffer second- and third-degree burns to to his back, chest and shoulder.
Karen Jeffries was charged with reckless aggravated assault, but has always maintained her actions were made in self-defense. Testifying in her own defense, Karen told the jury that on the night before the incident, the couple were on their way to Bible Study when Douglas confronted her about going through his cell phone.
She actually had gone through his cell phone, she said, but only because she suspected her husband was dealing drugs and she was looking for proof. The following morning, she says her husband began questioning her about his cell phone again, stating he was going to hurt her if she didn’t tell the truth.…Continue Reading
AKRON, OH – Edwin Heatherly, 71, has pleaded guilty to assault after he messed up his neighbor with a high-pressure washer last year.
According to the Summit County prosecutor, Heatherly was using his high pressure washer to clean off an outdoor grill last June. His neighbor of 33 years, 69-year-old Kenneth Grether, wasn’t real happy with this, as the grime from Heatherly’s grill was flying over a 5-foot high fence and landing on his house and in his garden.
Grether had some issues trying to get Heatherly’s attention because Grether is deaf and mute. So he simply sprayed his water hose through the fence that separated their property. Heatherly responded to this by spraying his power washer at Grether through the fence, and ended up cutting Grether’s hands, arms, chin, neck and the area behind his ear.
After Heatherly’s wife called police, officers arrived to find Grether bleeding profusely from his face, arms and hands. Heatherly would be arrested and charged with felonious assault with a weapon, while Grether would be left with scars, including a foot-long scar extending from his chin to his right ear, along with $40,000 in medical bills.…Continue Reading
BIRMINGHAM, AL – On Friday afternoon, 10-year-old Luke Bresette was killed at the Birmingham airport after a 300-plus pound flight status board fell on top of him and his family.
The freak accident happened in a newly refurbished section of the airport that just opened last week. In a pre-security area of the airport, a flight information panel fell on top of Heather Bresette and three of her children. The family of seven had been on their way to Kansas after a week long vacation in Florida.
It took approximately half-a-dozen people to lift the sign off the Bressetes, and about a dozen to keep it off of the family while emergency personnel administered aid. They were all rushed to the hospital, but Luke Bresette would be pronounced dead later that day.
Luke’s 5-year-old brother, Tyler, suffered a concussion. Luke’s 8-year-old brother, Sam, suffered a broken leg and nose. Heather suffered broken ankles and a crushed pelvis and is still in intensive care and unconscious.
If a story about a 10-year-old boy dying in an airport after vacationing with his family wasn’t bad enough, get this: According to the family’s priest, Heather doesn’t know about Luke.…Continue Reading
Here, Now – Last night’s podcast was one of a kind. Me and Athena got some wires crossed yesterday and needles to say, she wasn’t aware we were doing a Pulpit of Doom. I had already advertised that we were doing one, so I figured I would pull in one of the few people who sometimes hop on and co-host with me, but as luck would have it, no one was available.
So I threw a Hail Mary and asked our Facebook fans if anyone was interested in co-hosting – in 20 minutes. I didn’t think anyone would actually take me up on the offer, but one brave person did. With the chat room filling up, and only minutes to go, I thought I was going to have to podcast alone (which I loathe). But with five seconds before we went on the air, Lucy, a fan of the site for two years, joined in.
So last night marked the first ever podcast in which my co-host was someone I had never even spoken to before going live, aside from asking, “Is this Lucy?”
Admittedly, I was a bit nervous, as I had no idea if Lucy was a mouth breathing moron or someone just fucking around, but turns out we had a decent podcast that went off without a hitch – my 1000 uhs and ums notwithstanding.…Continue Reading
Philadelphia, PA – Delaina Garling was arrested after she pepper sprayed some Family Dollar employees then tossed the canister to her 7-year-old daughter screaming, “You know what to do, baby. Spray it!”
Authorities say that on Monday, 27-year-old Delaina Garling went inside a Family Dollar Store with her daughter and son, both 7. Problem is that she’d been banned from this store after allegedly stealing from it.
Surveillance video shows Garling being escorted out of the store when she pulls out a can of pepper spray and sprays a woman in the face as she’s walking out the door. After she is tackeled to the ground, she tosses the canister on the ground and instructs her daughter to use it.
The girl picks the canister up off the ground, but either chooses not to use it or cannot figure out how. Either way, one of the employees grabs it out of her hand as Garling is pinned to the ground until police arrive.
Police would find Garling in possession of marijuana and eight Klonopin.…Continue Reading