Connor MacCalister Slit Throat Of Woman Inside Shaw's Grocery StoreDaniel Divit Recorded Himself Performing Sex Acts On Toddler While BabysittingBumble Bee To Pay $6 Million After Jose Melena Cooked To Death Inside Industrial Pressure CookerTeen Accused Of Abducting 5-Year-Old Girl From Home, Beating And Raping HerKiria Ferris Barricaded Toddlers In Apartment To Go Drinking At Margarita FestTeens Caught On Camera Robbing And Punching Elderly Woman In ChurchBody Of Julie Mott Stolen From Casket At Texas Funeral HomeMan Fell To His Death Trying To Stop Teen From Jumping Off Dorm LedgeLogan Quesenberry Gets 12 Years For Burning Toddler With CigarettesPit Bull Attacks Family, Mauls Porsche Nicole Cartee To Death

In The Mean Time...

I Couldn’t Make This Stuff Up If I Tried…

October 7, 2009 at 7:11 am by  

Ocala, FL – I love Floriduh. You couldn’t pay me to live there, but I love it nonetheless. During my time here at the Dreamin’ Demon, Florida has provided me with many entertaining, sometimes gag-inducing stories. And this one, well, that would fall into the gag-inducing category. Please allow me to introduce 41-year-old Venus Lewis. Cute, ain’t she? Ms. Lewis enjoys football, tag, alcohol, and younger men. Much younger men. While attending a teen football game at the E.D. Croskey Recreation Center last Saturday, Venus allegedly initiated a rousing game of tag with a couple of teen boys. She laid out the rules: “If I catch ya, I’m gonna have sex with ya.” Simple enough. And I’m sure those lads ran their little legs right off!! (Personally, if Venus was playing that game with me, you can guaran-fucking-tee I would have set a new world land speed record). Weary from the chase, Venus took a breather and chose that little break in the fun and games to drop trou’ and plug her flow hole with a tampon.…

Jeffrey Graybill Wants Your Man Juice

October 7, 2009 at 3:31 am by  

Phoenix, AZ – A word of warning to all of my Demon friends that possess a peter – please, take a minute to study the mugshot attached to this story. If you, or any of your manly body parts, have had any contact with the beastly oaf, authorities in Arizona and California would like to have a word with you. Furthermore, if you allowed this man to give you a thorough physical and make off with a smidgen of your semen in the hopes of getting some cash, well, you’re screwed! (Literally and figuratively). The man’s name is Jeffrey Graybill, but those who have been screwed may know him as Dr. Robert Richardson. Graybill allegedly set up an ad on Craigslist offering to pay Caucasian and Latino suckers men between the ages of 18 – 25 as much as $4,000 to be sperm donors for stem cell and/or other research. And wouldn’t you know it? He got ’em to bite – hook, line, and sinker. …

Aurora, IL – Sometimes the thought processes of some people are so far beyond my understanding, it puts my brain into lock-down mode.  It puts up a wall to protect me from the stupid.  Self preservation I think.  However, stories like this one go beyond stupid and take a nosedive into the “WTF” category.  Christina Sykora, the big bulldog looking bitch in the mugshot, wasn’t feeling too frisky when she was propositioned for sex by Sabino Martinez, her parent’s handyman.  So what does she do?  She agrees to let him have sex with a 7 year old relative – as long as she could watch.…

Keighley Alyea’s Body Found, 3 Men In Custody

October 6, 2009 at 11:00 am by  

OVERLAND PARK, Kansas – I was going to put this up today if she had not been found yet, but looks like I will be putting it up for the opposite reason. Police said they have recovered Keighly Alyea’s body but gave no other details aside from having three men in custody in connection with her death. Alyea, 18, was last seen with her vehicle last Tuesday. Original reports at that time stated she may have been with Jaymes Dean Beebe, 22, and Dustin Brian Hilt, 18. On Sunday, her 1993 green Mazda 626 was located parked unoccupied on the street in the 6200 block of Marty. A third man, Sean Merritt, was questioned. On Monday night police searched two homes, one of them belongs to the relatives of one of the men originally questioned. No other info is being released at this point. The suspects in custody have not been officially named, nor where Alyea’s body was located.…

Old School Review – Fade to Black

October 6, 2009 at 9:56 am by  

Eric Binford is a shy, chain-smoking movie nut who is often ridiculed by his peers. Working at a film distribution warehouse and living with his eccentric (and often times abusive) Aunt Stella, he delves deeply into film as a means of solace and, perhaps, power. Eric becomes a film aficionado, but spends quite a bit of time straddling the lines of reality; often quoting his favorite character Arthur “Cody” Jarrett (Played by James Cagney in White Heat), and almost constantly spouting movie references and trivia. This obsession with film is just another source of the jeering and ridicule he endures. His Aunt thinks he’s nuts, his boss can’t stand him, and the guys at work think he’s a joke. To top things off, Eric is stood up (un-intentionally) by Marilyn O’Connor – a stunning Marilyn Monroe look-alike – who agreed to a date. That was the proverbial last straw and Eric finally loses it (homicidally so).  He begins a campaign of payback, progressing through his tormentors, using the characters from the films he has come to love.…

Talk About Your Skanky Love Triangles…

October 6, 2009 at 6:24 am by  

Eustis, FL – My teen daughters and I share many of the same interests – we have similar taste in music, clothing, books, and movies – and are always borrowing one item or another from each other. Lisa Johnson and her daughter, Jessica Fixl, have something in common as well. His name is Richard Bowman. Lisa and Richard had been living together as a couple for about a year. After Lisa had to go away to serve a stint behind bars, Richard and Jessica ended up doing the nasty. Ya know, it’s one thing to borrow a pair of pants or shoes from your mother, but, borrowing her boyfriend? That’s just gross. When Lisa was released from the Gray Bar Motel a couple weeks ago, she returned home and resumed living with Jessica and Richard. And the rest of the story plays out kinda like an episode of Jerry Springer. …

Jackie Denise Knott Needed A Paperweight

October 6, 2009 at 12:40 am by  

ALBERTVILLE, Alabama Drivers on U.S. Highway 431 saw something unusual with a fellow motorist on Wednesday morning. They saw a minivan being driven by 37-year-old Jackie Denise Knott, and on the roof of the vehicle was a cardboard box. Ok, so that’s noticeable, but not really worth anything that would be on the front page of this site, right? Right. It’s what was inside the box that had witnesses phoning police. Sitting inside the cardboard box was Knott’s 13-year-old daughter. Police quickly pulled over Knott and her explanation for her daughter sitting on the roof of her minivan were quite amazing. “The box was too large to get in the van, so more or less, she needed a paperweight,” said Albertville Police Officer Jamie Smith. Knott was arrested and charged with endangering the welfare of a child, her daughter was turned over to relatives.…

James Howard Patton Likes ‘Em COLD

October 6, 2009 at 12:35 am by  

HOUSTON, Texas – I’ve been wonderin’ were my necrophiliacs been hidin’! But just when I thought they had vanished, James Patton is here representin’ the Necro Ghoul Crew. Ahem.

39-year-old James Patton’s creepy activities were discovered after police got a warrant to seize his computer stemming from harassment charges involving an ex-girlfriend. But investigators found a bit more than they bargained for when they retrieved pictures from Patton’s computer showing Patton placing his member on the foot of a nude female corpse.

They also found an image of a female corpse with the legs spread open. “I can tell you that the defendant’s male sexual organ was seen in various poses with those of dead bodies,” said Donna Hawkins with the Harris County DA’s Office. Insert all kinds of SHUDDER here.

The photos were determined to have been taken in 2004, and Patton admitted to police that he last messed with a corpse a year ago when he was employed as funeral director at the Earthman Funeral Home.…

The world’s human population has been infected with a human version of mad cow disease. Anyone afflicted with this particular ailment is rendered a crazed zombie hell-bent on nothing but feasting on the flesh of anyone not suffering the effects of the virus. Columbus has survived the initial onslaught by following 47 rules of zombie survival and is now making his way towards his parents to see if they have survived as well. As he navigates the urban wasteland he teams up with a Dale Earnhardt loving redneck named Tallahassee. Traveling alone like Columbus, he has an uncanny knack for dispatching zombies and a real strong hankerin’ for a creme filled Twinkie. They decide to try and partner up for a bit and see how it works out and for a while, it’s smooth sailing for the odd couple. That is until they meet Wichita and Little Rock, two crafty sisters making their way towards Pacific Playland amusement park – rumored to be a zombie free zone. Against all of their better judgment these vagabonds join forces and must decide if trusting and depending on each other is worth abandoning the rules that have kept them alive this long.…

Keashia Matthews Suffers From Chronic Stupidity

October 5, 2009 at 11:04 am by  

Arlington, TX – Keashia Matthews has squished out a total of five children – but, because she has proven herself to be an idiot shitty mother in the past, she lost custody of two of those children some time back. That left her with three kiddos she needed to care and provide for. A task in itself for a two parent family blessed with functioning brain cells, it must have been quite the uphill battle for the single Keashia. Seeing as how her lovely mugshot is gracing the pages of the Dreamin’ Demon, it shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone that Keashia has a history of neglecting her children. Suzette Edwards, Keashia’s mother, has custody of two of her children, now 14 and 12. Suzette gained custody after the 14-year-old was found alone and malnourished in a rancid apartment as an infant, and has had custody of the 12-year-old since she was born. “She (Keashia) has aggression issues, and she is not fit to be a mother,” Suzette said. “She never has been.

TKO At The KFC

October 5, 2009 at 10:56 am by  

NORWELL, Massachusetts – Jared Garfagna and his girlfriend, Sarah Mohn, were upset with the length of time it was taking for their order inside a Massachusetts KFC. They expressed their frustration with the employees by yelling profanities at them. A man who was in the store at the time asked the couple to quit using the foul language as there were children in the restaurant. As the man left the building, the couple beat his ass. Police say 31-year-old Garfagna punched the man in the head, and then Mohn kicked him. Mohn has been charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon and Garfagna has been charged with assault and battery. …

So You Think You Can Dance!

October 5, 2009 at 9:55 am by  

SACRAMENTO – Ok, now this isn’t anything horrific or depressing, but it is something I need to address as it is very important to me. A dance routine was performed at Rio Americano High School that has some parents crying foul that the routine was too racy and sexually explicit. “It was not something I would want my son looking at. I didn’t find it to be appropriate or acceptable,” said parent P.J. Bascom. Now I have checked the video out, and you can to after the jump, and I can see some parents concerns. There are six gorgeous teen-aged girls dancing very badly yet in a very sexual manner. A lot of time is spent bent over and doing hip rotations. As a parent myself, I think that it is my duty to…

Man Fleeing From Police Killed By Poncho

October 5, 2009 at 8:53 am by  

MIAMI-DADE COUNTY, Fla – Miccosukee police responded to a call on the Miccosukee Indian Reservation about vehicles in the parking lot of a casino being broken into. One man was captured at the scene, but another ran away and dove into a retention pond located behind the establishment. If he knew it or not is not clear at this point, but this pond has live alligators in it with signs clearly stating that fact. After being informed of this, the man decided that the cops were probably a way better option than being eaten alive by alligators, so he began making his way back to shore. Unfortunately, the man met Poncho before he could reach safety. Poncho is the alligator nick-named by the locals who lives in the pond. Witnesses heard the man scream shortly after seeing Poncho before disappearing under the water. His body was later found by divers, 50 ft below the surface. He had several bite marks on his head. Poncho was captured and killed, per Florida law, and will be incinerated or buried after Miami-Dade medical examiner can check him out.…

Las Vegas, Nevada – Tom and Carla Chester were found dead in their Heritage Village mobile home on Wednesday by their 22-year-old daughter. 57-year-old Tom had been shot in the head, 51-year-old Carla had been shot and stabbed in the neck. Their Dodge Journey was missing and before long, their 18-year-old son, Timothy Chester, was named a suspect. At around 6 p.m., the mother of 18-year-old Victor Veliz called 911 informing them that her son had just admitted to killing the couple at the request of Timothy, his best friend. Timothy was apprehended on Thursday morning near the Hoover dam and now that both are in custody, the details on what happened that Wednesday afternoon, and how much worse it could have been, are chilling. …

Sexting Hijinks In Pennsylvania

October 5, 2009 at 12:40 am by  

PERRY COUNTY, Pa. – Eight teenagers have been charged with possessing child pornography after they were caught sexting – or for you technological lingo impaired, recording sex acts on their cell phones. Administrators at Susquenita High School caught three students with cell phones containing video and pics of other juveniles performing sex acts on each other. Currently, the law in Pennsylvania will not require these juveniles to register as sex offenders. But that may not last long as Pennsylvania is in the process adhering to federal law that would require juveniles found guilty of child pornography to register as sex offenders. If that isn’t controversial enough for people who think this is ridiculous, the law can be applied retroactively and applied to past cases. All I can say about this is THANK GOD I didn’t have a camera-enabled cell phone when I was a teen. …

Brenda Duclos Did A Really Stupid Thing

October 4, 2009 at 8:30 am by  

Pompano Beach, FL – Susan Grace was out and about Wednesday at about 5:00 p.m., when she happened upon a rather alarming sight – walking on the side of the road, along the white line, were two little ones just barely out of the toddler stage – one of them dragging a pillow, both barefoot. “I started panicking and I rolled down the window and I’m yelling, ‘Stop, stop,’ and of course, they can’t hear. And traffic’s just whizzing by them,” said Susan, a preschool teacher. She pulled her car over to the side of the road and waited with the kids until law enforcement showed up on scene. Seems the kiddos were on their way to pick up their older sister from school. But, where was mommy? While officers were questioning the kids, ages 3 and 4, one of them let it slip that “Mommy is drunk.” Hehhh…my kiddos had quite the vocabulary at that age, but the word ‘drunk’ wasn’t part of it. …

Gratitude – You’re Doing It Wrong

October 3, 2009 at 4:55 pm by  

Louisville, KY – Don’t you just hate it when, out of the kindness of your heart, you get all hospitable and friendly and open your home to a down-on-his-luck kind of friend, only to end up getting royally screwed? You allow the guy to live under your roof, eat your food, use your toilet, and watch your tv and the fucker ends up raping your girlfriend while your at work. How’s that for gratitude? Such is the case with one of Gary Elmore’s kindhearted friends. Worried that Gary, who is reportedly homeless, would get harassed by the police for wandering around town, this friend invited Gary into his home Monday evening. Come Tuesday morning, when the unnamed friend left for work, Gary allegedly slipped into his bed and started doing the nasty with the girlfriend. The sleeping girlfriend, perhaps thinking her man wanted some morning glory, assumed it was her boyfriend pokin’ on her. It might have went something like this – Mmmm, oh yeah. Whoa! Wait a minute! What the… How the… Who the… You asshole!…

Christie Bradley Was Hoping To Get A Little

October 2, 2009 at 10:16 am by  

Arnold, MO – Just the other day, my 14-year-old daughter and I were talking about boys. While we don’t see eye-to-eye on many aspects of that particular subject, we do agree on one thing – teenage boys are annoying, gross, and they smell funny. (I was trying to get the point across that many boys never get past that stinky gross phase). Why on earth would any grown woman want anything to do with a smelly adolescent that they didn’t have to be around? What is it about teenage boys that some women find so damn attractive? I just don’t get it. Take Christie Bradley, for instance. Her lovely mug is gracing the front page of the Dreamin’ Demon because she wanted to get a little sumpin’ sumpin’ from a 13-year-old boy. While some boys would jump at the chance to bed an older woman, the boy in this instance wasn’t feeling quite so froggy. …