YouTuber Austin Jones Arrested On Child Porn ChargesWoman Locked Two Children In Trunk Of Car Before Shopping in WalmartPhilly Reporter Fired After Going On Tirade Outside Comedy ClubMan Kills Married Ex-Lover, Her Son Before Turning Gun On HimselfEmotional Support Dog Bites Passenger In Face On Delta FlightParamedic Accused Of Fondling Teen's Breast While She Was Having SeizureMan Dies After Husband Of Sheriff's Deputy Beat Man Outside Denny'sWorker Killed After Getting Tangled In His Own Street SweeperBoy, 5, Dies After Being Left In Van At Children's Health Clinic For 8 HoursMan Accused Of Rubbing Hot Sauce In Baby's Eyes, Snapping Face With Towel

In The Mean Time...

Nery Fer Alvizuris Left A Paper Trail

March 16, 2010 at 9:19 am by  

Roseville, CA – Remember those little notes you used to pass in grade school? “Do you love me?” scrawled in crayon next to a couple check boxes marked ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ (Ever hopeful, I usually added a ‘maybe’ on there, too). Certainly appropriate for crushin’ young kiddos – not so much for the creepy guy riding the bus. Nery Fer Alvizuris, 27, is accused of passing a note to a 15-year-old boy as he exited the bus. In the note, Nery’s phone number and an offer of cash in exchange for sex. The kid handed the note over to his mother and she got the law involved. Posing as the teen, an officer contacted Nery. Once again, Nery offered up some green for some love and a rendezvous was set up. When he showed up at the appointed place at the appointed time, he received a shiny new pair of bracelets and a ride to the hoosegow. Nery was arrested on suspicion of contacting a minor with intent to commit a sex crime.…

WARREN, Mich. – A 3-year-old boy was celebrating his birthday on Saturday at a Warren Caeserland with his parents and approximately 20 family members. But at around 9 pm that evening, employees at the restaurant noticed that the boy was alone with no adults and called police. Police arrived and were not able to find the boy’s parents or any relatives and took him into protective custody. On Monday…36 HOURS LATER…the mother of the boy called the restaurant asking about her son, the father showed up at the store an hour later. Turns out the 33-year-old mother and the 41-year-old father, who do not live together, each thought the boy was with the other – or possibly with a grandmother in Detroit. Now the parents are facing possible child abandonment and child abuse charges.…

ATLANTA – Due back in court today is 45-year-old Arelisha Bridges, who is accused of shooting and killing her husband following an argument earlier this month. Yeah, spouse murderers are a dime a dozen, but some of the circumstances surrounding this case are just too strange, ironic, and/or funny for me to not share: (1) As the title suggests, Bridges had been married to Anthony Rankins (who, at 26, was young enough to be her son) for a whopping five days before she killed him. As the title also suggests, (2) this was the sixth in a chain of marriages that began in 1981 when she was 16, with subsequent failed ball-and-chain joinings occurring in September 1984, August 1988, April 1989, October 1990, and May 2009. (3) The argument and subsequent shooting occurred on a public street, in full view of others, with Bridges dressed in a nightgown and shower cap. (4) After the shooting, witnesses reported Bridges walking calmly away, gun in her hand, to her car, even as others around her ran past in “frightened uproar.” (5) Bridges is a registered lobbyist for the National Declaration for Domestic Violence Order, a group fighting domestic violence.…

Columbus, Ohio – I so tried to get this story up on Friday, but shit just didn’t work out that way. But man, oh man, just when you think you have heard it all on this site you come across a story about an elderly man punching random kids at a Wal-mart.

Sixty-eight-year-old Ralph Conone was arrested at a Columbus Walmart Wednesday after a mother busted him popping her kid in the back of the head when she wasn’t looking. After her crying son told her what Conone had done, she followed him outside and brought him back into the store.

Police were called, surveillance footage reviewed, and sure enough, Conone could be seen punching multiple kids in the back of the head when their guardians were not looking. To make matters worse, he would punch them with keys protruding between his fingers.

Conone finally admitted to his actions and told investigators he had been doing this since January. The reason? It got him excited. “He stated that he does this because of the excitement of being able to do it and get away with it with the parents right there,” said Sgt.…

Man Torches Home Over Water Bill

March 15, 2010 at 8:20 am by  

Fort Lauderdale, FL- Johnny Dossey, 43, was becoming more and more frustrated with those pesky water bills for his Fort Lauderdale mobile home. A neighbor heard Dossey arguing with his father about the water bill, which was about $70. Instead of just paying the bill or visiting a local pub to gripe about it, Dossey doused his mobile home with gasoline, lit it, and watched the place become engulfed in flames. Within minutes the home exploded. Firefighters responded and succeeded in preventing the fire from spreading to other homes last Wednesday afternoon. Dossey was arrested as he tried to leave the neighborhood and was charged with first-degree arson. There is a possibility he may have been intoxicated at the time. He now has no home and I am pretty sure he still has to pay that pesky water bill.…

Newnan, GA – A woman was visiting a Barnes and Noble bookstore with her infant last Saturday afternoon when she and her child became unwilling participants in some creepy pissant’s masturbatory fantasy. The woman, reading a book just feet away from her 5-month-old daughter, looked up to see a man standing over the child, his peener in hand. She did what any weirded out woman would do in that position, she screamed and started off after the guy. He paused in the alleged beating of his meat and beat feet out the door while mom called 911. The woman was able to get his tag number and a BOLO was issued for the offensive asshat’s car – he was pulled over a short time later. The skeevy bastid, identified as 50-year-old Joseph Smirniotis, was taken back to the bookstore and positively identified by the woman and another witness. He is now piddling his pud behind bars and is looking at charges of child molestation and public indecency. Bond was set at $25,000.…

Birmingham, AL – Back in 2009, the board of directors of The Emergency Animal Rescue Service (TEARS) began noticing some irregularities with the rescue’s finances–including almost $70,000 in ATM withdrawals and a $20,000 check made out to “Cash.” When asked about the missing funds, TEARS founder and executive director Terra Cotromano claimed the monies went toward payroll. In November, the Alabama Department of Industrial Relations notified the board that audit notices were being ignored and a summer meeting had been missed. Further, apparently there were concerns about the condition of the animals at the TEARS compound, and at the end of 2009, the board removed Cotromano and asked her to vacate the trailer on the TEARS property in which she was residing. When investigators visited TEARS at the end of 2009 and beginning of this year, they found 200 animals living in what were described to be unsanitary, muddy, cold, and overcrowded conditions. Of particular concern were the 50+ cats–many suffering from upper respiratory infections–found in a trailer with no electricity, no running water, and no ventilation that was being heated by only three small portable heaters.…

Candler, NC – According to the Enka Middle School’s Web site, Rex Roland has managed to survive for over a decade as a middle-school teacher–no reported episodes of showing up so hungover he had to vomit in the wastebasket during the math quiz, no indications he ever put lame-ass “old guy” moves on any pre-teen girl (or boy), no suggestion that 75% of the students in his classes are more successful than him at correctly spelling the word “literacy.” Truth is, Roland seems to see himself as one “groovy” teacher. As a teacher, he’s just one “cool cat.” He’s totally “with it,” he’s “straight,” he has his hand on the pulse of today’s youth, yo! Case in point: rather than write on the paper of Patty Clement’s daughter something so pathetically old school and passé like “Needs improvement,” he recently penned, in a moment of genius-level progressiveness and “I’m-so-down-with-today’s-youth” brilliance, the following: “-20% for being a LOSER.”…

Federal Way, WA– Sean Patrick Madigan, 27,  is a 6′ 3″,  230-pound self-described body builder who likes to be called Big Puppy, but, after reading the charges against him, I believe the name Big Pussy is way more fitting. Madigan was charged with child abuse this last Friday for allegedly hitting his 4-year old step-daughter so hard she suffered life-threatening internal bleeding. Authorities believe Madigan kicked or punched the child in the stomach and then delayed seeking the medical treatment that saved her life. The abuse is alleged to have occurred since November of last year. Police and CPS started an investigation after a medical provider in Auburn contacted authorities noticing extensive bruises on the girl, but they were unable to fully interview the child or her mother out of Madigan’s presence.  Madigan was arrested on Tuesday after his wife left him and contacted police informing them of Madigan’s repeated abuse to the girl, which police noted was malnourished and dehydrated.…

St. George, UT – Officers responded to a call on Tuesday from a photo technician at a Walgreen’s photo lab. Workers developing film  had concerns about several photos that appeared to show an infant being raped by an adult male. Officers determined that at least two photos were definitely sexually explicit and even met the state statute for sodomy. Even though the film had been left at the store under another name, Sergio Diaz-Palomino, 34, was identified by store staff as having turned in the film to be processed. The officers went to Diaz-Palomino’s home to interview him, and he said the boy in the photos is his son. Diaz-Palomino also claimed the child’s mother was the person responsible for taking the pictures of him and the baby boy. Diaz-Palomino was arrested for sodomy on a child and sexual exploitation of a minor and is being held on $70,000 bail. So far, he does not appear to have any past criminal record involving sex crimes against children. Police are now looking for the child’s mother.…

Mother Accused Of Circumcising Her Baby Girl

March 12, 2010 at 8:04 am by  

La Grange, GA – Well here’s something you, thankfully, don’t hear every day. Melody Onyonyor is accused of mutilating her infant daughter’s genitals via clitoral circumcision. I realize that it is a fairly common practice in Asia and Africa, but haven’t heard of such a case here in the states. And, I gotta admit, the mere thought makes me cringe and clench. The child’s father told authorities he had been granted temporary custody of the child and during a diaper change, a relative noticed something looked a little off. The baby was examined at the hospital and doctors determined that there had been some form of surgery performed to remove the child’s clitoris. Based on those findings, Melody, 35, was arrested and charged with cruelty to children and female genital mutilation. A bond amount is unavailable at this time. The child, who is otherwise healthy, remains in her father’s custody while the investigation continues.…

Brandon Goddard Doesn’t Know When To STFU

March 12, 2010 at 7:25 am by  

Harrison Township, MI – What can I tell you about Brandon Goddard? For one thing, I think he fancies himself a real ladies man. Though already engaged and nearing his wedding date, he was still out prowling around. The 23-year-old jackass found himself a little side action and the two hooked up and did the nasty. Perhaps fearing this would be his last fling before his life sentence marriage, Brandon wanted to burn the lusty images into his mind – and his hard drive. Without the woman’s consent, Brandon filmed the whole deed with his laptop web cam. For whatever reason, Brandon later threatened to publish the video, but the other woman wasn’t having it. She went to the police with her story. A search warrant was served on the home where Brandon lived – the home where he lived with his new wife and her parents – and the video in question was seized. Brandon was convicted of using a computer to commit a crime. That’s not what landed him here, though.…

Syracuse, NY – One thing I hate more than idiots, it’s idiots who abuse animals for kicks. Thanks God some of these are so fucking stupid that they videotape it. The world was alerted to two morons the other day after Erik Estrada, 18, of 1125 Westcott St., and a 16-year-old friend, posted a video on Youtube of them abusing a cat. We have the video after the jump, but in case you do not want to watch it (no worries, the cat is fine), it details a cat named Jasmine with it’s feet bound being harassed by a retard with a hair dryer. The clip ends with Estrada shaving some hair off the terrified cat’s leg and head before he gives the camera a double-thumbs up while sporting a stupid fucking grin on his stupid fucking face. These two seem so pleased with what they are doing, I expected the video to end with both of them kicking the cat out of the way as they embrace and begin jacking each other off.…

Oakland, CA- 2-year-old Kamilah Russell, who is described as a vibrant little girl who liked the color pink and the cartoon Dora the Explorer, died yesterday around 4:30 in the afternoon. The person believed to be responsible for her death is her 19-year old mother, Tiffany Lopez. Family members called 911 reporting the girl needed help and she was transported to the Children’s Hospital in Oakland, where she was pronounced dead from suffocation. Lopez, who is 3-months pregnant, first told investigators she had accidentally sat on Kamilah as the two played hide-and-seek, but later admitted that she had become frustrated with her daughter. Lopez was arrested on suspicion of murder.  As recent as February, Lopez was charged with two counts of child endangerment and one count of resisting arrest due to an incident on Christmas Eve. The children who were allegedly endangered were Lopez’s 11-year old brother and her then 4-month old daughter.…

Naples – While waking up in a pool of your own vomit behind an Office Depot may equate to an average Wednesday night for Jaded, it got one North Naples woman charged with inhalation of a harmful chemical substance and a probation violation. Police had been called to investigate a woman sleeping in an an alley and there they found 37-year-old Jennifer Marie Fernandez lying in her own puke, having ingested two cans of dust remover. She woke up when officers began questioning her and was attempting to hide a 10 ounce can of cleaner between her legs. They asked her how she was doing and she informed them, with slurred speech, that she had bought the can to get high with and then proceeded to inhale the rest of the can. She was taken to the hospital to be checked out, then arrested shortly afterwards. In January, Fernandez was arrested for petty theft after she was found passed out in a Walmart restroom (an average Friday night for Jaded) next to an empty can of dust remover she had stolen.…

Virginia Beach – More masturbating hijinks this Thursday! Darrin Smith was representing Charlotte, NC while at a Virginia Beach Mall the other night. Police say that while inside a Victoria’s Secret, shoppers witnessed Smith exposing himself and performing a sex act behind a customer. Customers and employees joined forces and followed Smith around the mall until police arrived on the scene. Smith is now sitting in jail without bond on charges of indecent exposure and sexual battery. Smith should’ve done what I do when I visit Victoria’s Secret. I stay outside of the store and simply press myself up against it and start licking the window like a very tasty ice cream cone while staring at one of the sexy mannequins or posters they have hanging up. If I’m feeling really randy, I’ll press my tongue flat on the window and try to spell out obscene words with my saliva. The ladies love that one.…

El Segundo – El Segundo residents can berathe a sigh of relief as it seems as if the flasher that has been harassing local teenage girls has been apprehended. Reports of a flasher started as far back as 2008, but police have had trouble catching him even though his pattern rarely wavered. After spotting teenage girls in the early morning hours, he would park his car in a nearby alley, get out and then masturbate in front of them. Last Thursday, an off-duty El Segundo police officer noticed a man fitting the description of the flasher, driving a silver Infiniti slowly around the Richmond Street Elementary School. Police were called and the vehicle stopped. It was being drivin by 39-year-old Jeffrey William Freeman and inside his car police found personal lubricant and a hand towel. Not really damning evidence as I carry the same items. Everywhere I go. Freeman was released after being questioned for 6 hours, only to later be arrested at a Santa Monica hotel on a charge of suspicion of indecent exposure.…

Man Tries To Pay For Damages With Stick

March 10, 2010 at 8:47 pm by  

Oklahoma City, OK- “I give you the last tree in the universe.” If you’re thinking that sentence was quoted from some Sci-fi movie or Fantasy novel, remember you’re on the Dreamin’ Demon and think again. Those exact words were said by Rondell Bailey, 37, after he walked into the Oklahoma County jail carrying a stick and tried to use it to pay for some damage he did with his truck. You see, earlier Bailey had been doing donuts with his truck in a parking lot near the Oklahoma City Civic Center when he hit a trash can. This forced his truck to go high center and become stuck. Bailey abandoned his vehicle and picked up a stick on his way to the jail to use as currency for the damages. Feeling pretty sure that Bailey was bluffing about the stick being the last tree and all, a deputy told Bailey he couldn’t use a stick as payment. Disgruntled that his magic stick was refused as legal tender, Bailey walked outside, picked up a landscaping brick and broke a window on the east side of the jail lobby.…