Elderly Sex Offender Accused Of Stalking 11-Year-Old Boy For Two YearsStarla McCabe Accused Of Selling Nude Photos Of Her 5-Year-Old DaughterBrooke Dinkel Sentenced To 13 Years In Jail For Sex With 13-Year-Old StudentJanet Posey Accused Of Trying To Profit Off Death Of Jessica ChambersBrooke Baures Killed After Head Was Crushed Inside DumbwaiterHeather Green Tried To Comfort Her Two Sons As They Died In Trailer FireHeidi Creamer Arrested After Fight With Twin Sister Over VibratorFurry Convention Evacuated After Intentional Chlorine Gas AttackDenied Diced Onions, Angry Customer Throws Snake At Tim Hortons StaffHiawatha Robinson Accused Of Killing His 8-Year-Old Daughter While Sexually Assaulting Her

In The Mean Time...

Okaloosa County, FloridaSometimes, a nosy neighbor really comes to the rescue. Jennifer D’Silva’s neighbor heard her baby crying, obviously long enough to become concerned. She went to D’Silva’s home and knocked on the door…no answer. The neighbor recalled seeing D’Silva leave at about 5:30 a.m., and it was now 7:30 a.m. Was it possible she had left her infant alone? Nooo…ya think?…

Arron Harrison Is Kinda Dumb

May 25, 2009 at 6:45 am by  

Naples, UtahSome people will do anything for a quick easy buck, or a fuck, or even a 12-pack of suds. Arron Harrison, 21, was recently approached by a 17-year-old female acquaintance of his…she had a proposition. See, this girl is in a bit of a bind–she’s 7 months pregnant and has decided that she doesn’t want to have a baby. So, she asked Harrison to forcefully beat that child out of her womb, in exchange for something. Harrison, obviously lacking in common sense, agreed.…

Katherine Dennery Likes Them Young

May 25, 2009 at 6:04 am by  

Lansdale, PA- I know you’re wondering why the picture of this sexy seductress is gracing our front page today, so let me just assure you right away that it’s not because we are now running ads for Rogaine. On May 1’st, 26- year old Katherine Dennery asked two 13-year old neighborhood boys to help her move out of her home. Dennery showed her appreciation for the boys’ help by serving plying them with Schnapps and Vodka.…

Portland, OregonThe 911 calls started pouring in on Saturday at 1:00 a.m. Residents on both sides of the Willamette river heard screams and a splash coming from the area of the Sellwood Bridge. Terrifying, hair-raising screams. Police quickly fanned out on both sides of the river, trying to track down the source. The Coast Guard responded with a helicopter and rescue boats…residents joined in the search with their boats. At 2:10 a.m., resident Dave Haag made a shocking discovery. …

Perplexing Penis Puppet Predicament

May 24, 2009 at 7:20 am by  

Federal Way, WashingtonI must admit, I have a very vivid imagination. Too vivid. When I come across stories like this, they play out in my head, over and over, in high def…whether I want them to or not. It’s a curse. Shit like this keeps me up at night, my brain buzzing with questions. My biggest question, in this case, is…Timothy, do you take your little show on the road? I’d pay handsomely if you would show up at my upcoming family reunion.…

New Bedford, MA- Owning a dog can be a real pain in the ass sometimes. Like kids, they require a lot of time and attention. You have to remember to feed them daily, bathe them every time their nasty-ass finishes rolling in something dead, and you have to walk them every time they need to piss or shit, even if it’s 3 o’clock in the morning. If you don’t, you might spend your morning cussing them out while they hide under the table with sorrowful eyes and watch you try to scrub out their stains in the carpet. Dogs are a big responsibility, so that’s why I’m guessing these two cousins, Jimmy Correa and Jenny Torres, decided to give their one-year-old chihuahua, Princess, the old heave-ho.

CLEVELAND, OH–Valencia Davis’ daughter was born healthy, but she now suffers from cerebral palsy after swallowing a scrunchie as an infant.  The child, Nayla, is now 2 years old and was found by police Tuesday after her father, James, insisted on making a welfare check in person even though Valencia Davis has a temporary protection order barring him from the residence.  She also has a history of leaving her children home alone. …

Kevin Keding Was Digging For Artifacts

May 23, 2009 at 2:17 am by  

Tampa, FL-Kevin Keding, 41, fancies himself as an archaeologist, but police are saying this Indiana Jones wannabe is nothing more than a bumbling burglar. Around 3 a.m. this last Sunday, an officer found Keding standing near a red pick-up truck behind a Suzuki dealership with gardening gloves, a knife and pliers in his possession. When the officer asked him what he was doing, Keding said he “was digging for artifacts”.The officer found no evidence that Keding had any intentions of actually digging for artifacts. “He was not digging,” a police spokesperson said. “You don’t dig for artifacts behind a car dealership.”

The Daily Bite

May 22, 2009 at 7:11 pm by  

Another day, another reason to thank your lucky stars that you and yours are healthy and not the subject of today’s installment of public shaming.  As long as there are no prerequisites for procreating, we will never be short on things to write about.  Sit back, relax, and wrinkle your nose in disgust at the dumbfuckery here for you today.…

Tiffany Toribio Is Callous And Cruel

May 22, 2009 at 8:34 am by  

Albuquerque, New MexicoOn March 15, a mother found the body of a boy buried under the swings of Alvarado Park. For days the police asked the public for any information that could help not only identify the boy, but also aid in piecing together the puzzle of how a young boy ends up buried in the sand of a public park. A composite of the boy was released as well as pictures of the clothes he was wearing. Now the identity of the boy has been discovered, as well as his murderer. What happened to that boy was a bit more heinous than I could have imagined. …

Speaking Of Stoopid…

May 22, 2009 at 5:07 am by  

Port Angeles, WashingtonHow would you define stupid? Merriam-Webster defines it as such: stupid – adj. a. slow of mind: b. given to unintelligent decisions or acts: acting in an unintelligent or careless manner: c. lacking intelligence or reason. Makes sense. Now, how would I define stupid? Simple…Nelson Blewett.…

Fargo, ND- A week ago today, a 25-year old woman who was leaving work was approached by the father of one of her children, 23-year old Shawntas Turnage. He told her, “If you don’t get into my car, I’m going to kill you.” The woman got into his car and Shawntas drove her to the home of his his wife, Aiesha Turnage, where he was given $100 by his wife’s brother. Then they traveled to a home in Lexington. When the woman tried to leave, Shawntas punched her in the face, forced her to strip at knife-point and stabbed her in the left arm and shoulder. Shawntas tied her ankles and wrists behind her back as she lay on her stomach and put a pillowcase over her head.…

Fort Wayne, Indiana – I swear, sometimes this stuff just writes itself.  Dale Keith Tucker, 57, was a part-time faculty member and the piano accompanist for the University Singers at Indiana University-Purdue University in Fort Wayne.  He was also the music director and organist at one of the Methodist churches in the area.  Unfortunately for Tucker, he is now neither.  Not because of the awful economy, but because he was found to have been tickling his own ivories with the organ of a 15 year old boy.…

Caldwell, IdahoA call came in to 911 Saturday afternoon, ‘My dad’s been shot. He’s dead.’ When police arrived at the home, they found 33-year-old Jason Neagle, dead, on the couch. A single bullet, fired from a .30-.30, had pierced his wrist, entered his head, and came out on the other side. His teen son, Zachary Neagle, 14, is being charged as an adult with the first-degree murder of his father.…

Andrew Jones Is A Pro At Multi-Tasking

May 21, 2009 at 7:11 am by  

Charleston, W. Virginia–You see them behind the wheel every day–eating, reading the paper, breastfeeding, applying makeup, doing their nails, texting–multi-taskers. Some are good at it…I once watched a woman simultaneously eat an Egg McMuffin, apply mascara, carry on a conversation with a passenger, and smack the crap outta the screaming kid in the back seat…while driving down the highway at 65-70. Never swerved, not even once. I must say, I was impressed! What is my point? Hell if I know. Let’s move on.…

Safe Haven Laws Exist For A Reason

May 21, 2009 at 6:04 am by  

Johnston, Rhode IslandOnce upon a time, Crystal Sullivan had a baby. Crystal, 20, also had a very busy life–college, soccer, socializing, boyfriend, etc. We parents know how difficult it can be to have a life away from our children, especially when they are so small and needy. Not Crystal, though. Nope. She’s got it all figured out. Instead of tucking her newborn into it’s bed at night and kissing it’s smooth little forehead, Crystal stuck her infant into a plastic container. Instead of that ‘new baby’ smell, Crystal’s infant has that lovely odor of decomposing flesh. …

Mauricio Reyes Was Being Sneaky

May 21, 2009 at 3:45 am by  

Orlando, FL- Mauricio DeJesus Reyes, 44, is another vile and sneaky bastard who spends his time playing the boogeyman. Just like SoJaded’s previous story about Carlos Garcia, Mauricio Reyes snuck into a home with plans on kidnapping a little girl.…

What Happened To Jessica Holcomb’s Baby?

May 20, 2009 at 3:07 am by  

Lawrenceville, GeorgiaAuthorities were called to Jessica Holcomb’s home on a welfare check. It had been reported that her children, ages 1 and 3, had been left unattended on occasion and were living in unsanitary conditions. When officers arrived at the home Friday evening, they heard the sound of a small child crying…then, the crying stopped. Abruptly.…