In The Mean Time...
According to reports, Virginia Valdez and her 62-year-old husband were engaged in some oral sex when Valdez said she wanted to go brush her teeth. When she returned, she was brandishing a pair of industrial scissors and used them to attack her husband’s penis.
Her husband jumped up and screamed in pain before running into the bathroom to grab a towel and use it to apply pressure to the wound. He drove himself to the hospital and called 911 while on his way there.
“The bitch tried to cut my dick off,” he informed the dispatcher.
He did not suffer any life-threatening injuries, but did receive four stitches and was released later that evening.
Officers arrested Valdez at the couple’s home without incident and she would be charged with assault with a deadly weapon and inflicting corporal injury on a spouse. She was later released on $100,000 bail and ordered to refrain from having any contact with her husband.…Continue Reading
ALTOONA, PA – It’s amazing that God sees to it that couples able to provide a loving household for a child are not able to conceive or adopt one, but will seemingly ensure the biggest morons are equipped with vaginas capable of shooting out babies like a rapid-fire Pez dispenser.
Case in point, 31-year-old Carla Murphy. Two days after this picture was taken of Murphy and her new baby, hospital staff called police when she began shouting, cursing and being aggressive towards several nurses. Believing she was on some kind of drugs that they did not give her, doctors decided to keep her at the hospital to be evaluated by mental health professionals.
As they were escorting her back to her room, Murphy ran into the bathroom where she stripped naked and began rolling around on the floor. She was unable to answer basic questions, but began berating the nurses helping her to her room as well as the responding police officers. After telling police they could search her belongings, they searched her purse and found a dismantled black pen with residue of a substance inside, a lighter and some white powder that Murphy called Disco – a street name for bath salts.…Continue Reading
Park City, UT — Last month, a 4-year-old girl in North Carolina was killed after a tombstone fell on top of her while she played in a graveyard. Last week, a 4-year-old boy in Utah died after a headstone fell on top of him while he also played in a graveyard.
Carson Dean Cheney, pictured to the left moments before he was killed, was with his family at a private cemetery taking pictures. The 4-year-old was trying to make other children laugh by pretending to be a leprechaun and poking his head from around one of the tombstones in the 900 grave cemetery.
While Cheney was holding on to it, the metal that attaches the tombstone to its pedestal broke, and the several hundred pound tombstone toppled on to Cheney’s chest and head.
He was pinned there until family members were able to lift the tombstone off Cheney and began administering aid until emergency workers arrived. Cheney was rushed to the hospital but he would die from injuries to his head, chest and abdomen.
“Carson passed away while trying to make others smile,” said Curtis Morley, a family friend.…Continue Reading
BILLINGS, Montana – An 8-year-old boy has been accused of shooting his 5-year-old friend and then leaving the boy to die.
The two boys were at a High Sierra dog park with their parents and had been given permission to go to a nearby wooded area to play. A short time later two girls, ages 12 and 13, were riding their bikes in the area and found the 5-year-old lying on a dirt path. He had been shot.
Covered in blood and drifting in and out of consciousness, one of the girls stayed with the boy while the other went to get her dad. Not long after the other girl had gone, John Crawford found the boy and girl while jogging through the area and called 911.
“I just saw a boy who was covered in blood and moaning, and a girl who looked up at me bawling,” Crawford told the Billings Gazette. “I didn’t know what to think. I just tried to keep the boy calm.”
The boy was rushed to the hospital and as of Friday, was listed in stable condition after undergoing surgery.…Continue Reading
BRANDON, FL - Anthony Lee Humphries, 64, was arrested on several charges after purportedly giving neighborhood children a horrific show of him in the act of self-pleasure, and then giving chase when they fled.
According to reports, four children were playing together when they noticed a naked Humphries going to town on his junk in his home’s doorway. Authorities state that when the children spotted Humphries staring at them while committing acts generally considered private, they turned tail. However, Humphries saw fit to throw on a pair of undies and chase after them.
Humphries is said to have chased the children through the streets but lost them after they went inside a house to hide. The kids underestimated Humphries’ tenacity because when they emerged a short time later, Humphries was still in the vicinity and gave chase again.
Police were called to the scene and Humphries informed them that he never had any contact with the children. He was arrested and charged with four counts of lewd or lascivious exhibition in front of a minor and detained on a $7,500 bond.…Continue Reading
WINTER HAVEN, FL – A Polk County man was arrested over the weekend after allegedly accosting three women with a 4-foot-long sword and a peanut butter sandwich.
The melee reportedly began when Mark Miller, 50, was disturbed by noise the women were making outside of his mobile home. Miller is said to have exited his trailer angrily, brandishing the blade and his late night snack. At some point during the scuffle that ensued, according to responding officers, Miller jabbed the more dangerous and metallic weapon at a woman’s stomach, one Brandi Bodiford, who happened to be 6 months pregnant.
Fortunately for Bodiford and her unborn child, she was able to grab the blade before being skewered and her friend, Taylor Grimes, stepped between her and Miller. Miller then smeared his remaining weapon, the peanut butter sandwich, on the chest of the third woman, Cierra Harwell.
Deputies arrived to detain and transport Miller to Polk County Jail, but before the trip was completed Miller used his teeth to cause $550 worth of damage to the padding on the squad car’s cage partition.…Continue Reading
Portland, Ore. – A registered sex offender was arrested the other day after he tried to sexually assault a 10-year-old boy in a Wendy’s bathroom and stabbed the child several times when he fought back.
Police say on Sunday, 49-year-old Adam Lee Brown stood outside a Wendy’s bathroom door and forced a 10-year-old boy inside. After locking the door behind him, Brown allegedly attempted to sexually assault the boy. When the boy fought back, Brown stabbed him several times with a knife.
Before I go on, here’s a little background on Brown.
He’s a registered sex offender who served 11 years in prison for molesting at least nine children in 1992. The HIV-positive preacher’s son would force his victims into silence by threatening them with knives, scissors and matches. In some cases he would rely on the oldest trick in the book by warning them that Satan would come if they didn’t do what he wanted.
In 1993, Brown was convicted of three counts of first-degree sodomy after pleading no contest to lesser charges–prosecutors tried to charge him with murder because he knew he was possibly infecting children with HIV. A real piece of shit, right?…Continue Reading
Police were dispatched to U.S. 176 in East Flat Rock Friday night after a call was made to 911 regarding the body of a man found on the side of the road. Police were able to identify the man as 45-year-old Roger Moody and concluded he had been a victim of a hit-and-run.
When investigators went to his home to notify his next of kin, they found Bishop there along with the Honda Accord she had been driving earlier that night. Police examined the vehicle and were able to determine it had been the one that struck and killed Moody. After questioning Bishop, they arrested her and charged her with murdering Moody.
The couple have a history of domestic issues throughout their two year relationship with both calling 911 on each other in the past. On the day Moody was killed, the couple had gotten into yet another fight that had Moody leaving the residence on foot.…Continue Reading
According to Bay 9 News, Thorin Montgomery was with some friends on the back porch of his home playing Russian Roulette with a .38-caliber handgun. Thorin was the first to go, and much to the relief of everyone else playing, Darwin stopped by for a visit.
The gun discharged, the bullet striking Thorin in the head. He didn’t die right away, but would do so later after being airlifted by helicopter to Bayfront Medical Center in very critical condition.
The other morons playing the game with Thorin – ages 19, 18 and 16 - have not been identified.
“I’m shocked to find out they’re stupid enough to play that game,” said one neighbor, who obviously does not read D’D . “Kids nowadays, with them playing with guns the way they do, there’s no reason for that.”
An autopsy has been scheduled to determine the exact cause of Thorin’s death.…Continue Reading
On Friday, police arrested William Hurt, 18, Deadra Hurt, 19, Harley Wade, 16, and Andrea Hurt, 16. They have all been accused of murdering a homeless man, Marcus E. Golike, 54, and then dumping his body into the Ohio river.
All four teens lived with Debbie Hurt, a woman who runs a foster care home and brings in troubled juveniles. Deadra Hurt was her biological daughter, but Debbie had adopted William and Andrea Hurt. Debbie had let Harley move into the home within the last month, and just from reading the articles and comments about him, he is one messed up kid.
The victim was known to Debbie and the teens because Marcus’ mother was Debbie’s foster mother. Even though they were not biological siblings, Debbie and Marcus considered themselves brother and sister.…Continue Reading
Forrest City, AR - It’s coming up on four years since I wrote about Reginald Davis (note: very graphic), and that case still rings my outrage bell loud enough to put any civil defense siren to shame.
Quick recap: Davis went to visit the new mother of an eight-day-old baby girl–supposedly his daughter. When the 15-year-old mom returned after leaving the baby alone with Davis so she could get a shower, she observed blood on the baby, and the mother and grandmother took the little girl to the Forrest City (Arkansas) Medical Center, accompanied by Davis.
A medical examination indicated the infant had been raped; it also was noted that she had a fractured skull. Police were called, Davis was arrested, and the little girl was transferred to the Arkansas Children’s Hospital in Little Rock due to the severity of her injuries.
For any of you new to the case, let me reiterate: EIGHT. DAYS. OLD.
If we were to say that the case as it originally stood filled all three able-to-be-perceived dimensions on the WTF?/OMG!…Continue Reading
ROCKLAND, Maine — A 5-year-old boy is in the hospital today as doctors try to reattach the hand he had severed in a freak jump rope accident.
The boy was in the back seat of his grandmother’s car Tuesday evening and found something to do with a jump rope that was worse than the restraining methods I use them for–from a personal safety standpoint, that is.
The boy had one end of a jump rope wrapped around his wrist while the other end was hanging outside the car window. As they sat at an intersection, the rope got tangled in a car that had pulled up alongside them. When that car drove off, the rope was pulled, and the boy’s hand was yanked off.
A passerby stopped to assist the boy and provided aid until EMS workers arrived. The boy was taken to Pen Bay Medical Center in Rockport and the driven to Mass General by ambulance after poor weather conditions prevented the LifeFlight aircraft from being used.
No word on if the surgery was successful or how the boy is doing.…Continue Reading
Houston, TX — A 24-year-old moving company employee has been accused of taking pictures of and fondling a customer’s 5-year-old girl while he was on the job.
According to court documents, Justin Summers was working for the moving company hired by a family to help them move into a new home. While at the house, the report states he entered an upstairs room where the customer’s 5-year-old daughter and 7-year-old son were playing a game.
That’s where Summers allegedly fondled the girl and took inappropriate photographs of her with his cell phone. The charges are only being file now because no one knew anything may have happened until the girl’s brother recently told his mother what happened.
He told her that he saw Summers “lifting his sister’s skirt and removing or pulling down her underwear and then taking several photographs of her genital area.” The girl confirmed her brother’s comments and later told investigators that Summers ”touched her private area by putting his finger on it” before taking the pictures.
Police tracked down Summers and were able to seize his cell phone where they found some creepy videos of the girl.…Continue Reading
West Jordan, UT – Early Tuesday morning, Kathy and Brad Newbold awoke to find that their six-year-old daughter, Sierra, was missing. She wasn’t in her bed at the family’s suburban Salt Lake City home. She wasn’t anywhere. Kathy Newbold called police to report her daughter missing, and within a half hour, Sierra’s body was located in a canal a block from her house. Yesterday, an autopsy found that Sierra was sexually assaulted and murdered while her parents slept.
That’s the story, so far. Cute little girl allegedly abducted from her bed, apparently murdered, dumped in a canal. It’s already national news. The parents are not, at this time, considered suspects. West Jordan is on high predator alert. It’s a tragedy. So far, it appears to be that rarest of crimes – a stranger abduction. Not unheard of in Utah (see Elizabeth Smart), but uncommon anywhere.
I dunno, though. Maybe I’m cynical, jaded by years of stories that start out this way and end with a parent or weird relative or family friend on trial.…Continue Reading
West Haven, CT – A woman has been placed behind bars after making a series of videos of herself abusing her 10-month-old daughter and then sending those videos, along with some messed up text messages, to the child’s father.
Court records show 24-year-old Kellie Park took seven videos of herself abusing her little girl then sending those videos to the child’s father through at least 55 text messages that included such gems as “I’ll f***ing break her face in” and “I’ll beat her face in” along with the timeless classic, “I love abusing this kid.”
The videos were just as disturbing. One shows Park as she kicks a gate on top of her crying child causing her to fall, and then saying “don’t you get it? Your father doesn’t care so guess what, I’m not gonna care.” Another video shows Park throwing food at her crying daughter as she sat in her high chair. In other videos Park can be heard telling her daughter she’s not worth half a cigarette, and that she makes her life miserable.…Continue Reading
BARTLESVILLE, OK – A 24-year-old woman is facing felony charges after she got busted with her pants off, kissing a 15-year-old boy inside a fitness tanning booth.
The teen was at the Colaw Gym with his mother last Thursday night. His mother noticed 24-year-old Betsy Ann Brashear flirting with her son and told her to stop and asked other members there to keep an eye on them as she went to work out.
Later, someone at the gym informed the mother that he just watched her son and Brashear enter one of the tanning booths together. The mother started banging on the booth and her son opened the door. Brashear was also inside the booth and trying to hide, but the boy’s mother dragged her ass out of the booth.
When she noticed that Brashear was naked from the waist down, wearing only a sports bra, so she allowed her to return back inside the tanning booth because there were men watching the entire incident.
When police arrived, Brashear admitted she knew the boy was 15, but that “there was nothing wrong or illegal about giving someone a kiss.” She denied removing any of her clothing.…Continue Reading
Police were called to Claudio-Marrero’s home after his estranged wife’s current boyfriend, Larry Turner, called them with concerns for her safety. He told them that Sreymon Claudio had dropped him off at a nearby fast-food restaurant so that she could go to her husband’s house and confront him about some jewelry of hers he had pawned. She went alone because she did not want her husband to know of her relationship with Turner.
Turner grew increasingly concerned when Claudio had not returned a few hours later, so he took a cab to Claudio-Marrero’s home. He waited in the cab for 45-minutes, calling police after watching Claudio-Marrero walk out of the home, search for something in his vehicle, and then go back inside.
When police arrived, it took Claudio-Marrero fifteen minutes to come out. When he did, police observed his hands had fresh cuts and were bleeding. When police searched inside the home they would find Claudio’s dead body in an upstairs bathtub.…Continue Reading
Here’s the Goodreads synopsis where the book is sitting at a 3.74 with 844 ratings:
“She only step outside for a minute. But a minute was all it took to turn Jean Kingsley’s world upside down–a minute she’d regret for the rest of her life. Because when she returned, she found an open bedroom window and her three-year-old son, Nathan, gone. The boy would never be seen again. A tip leads detectives to the killer, a repeat sex offender, and inside his apartment, a gruesome discovery. A slam-dunk trial sends him off to death row, then several years later, to the electric chair. Now, more than thirty years later, Patrick Bannister unwittingly stumbles across evidence among his dead mother’s belongings.…Continue Reading
Orlando, FL - Yeah, we knew that was coming. Defense attorney Jose Baez has written a new book, Presumed Guilty: Casey Anthony: The Inside Story, in which he posits that (surprise!) Casey Anthony is a nutjob. Can I get a “well, DUH,” up in here?
In case you’ve been living in an Amish family (or a cave), Casey Anthony is the mother of Caylee Marie Anthony, the adorable toddler who was reported missing on July 15, 2008. Caylee had actually been missing since June 9 of the same year, and was found dead several months later, duct tape wrapped around her skull, a creepy heart sticker over what remained of her mouth.
Casey was charged and acquitted of first-degree murder in one of the great travesties and tragedies of the Florida judicial system last year. The case broke our servers and doubled our membership, and there may have been a pizza incident that landed us on Fox News, so, y’know, it’s close to my heart.
Now, Casey’s defense attorney is just gonna keep on defending his client, yammering on about how no sane person does the things that Casey did.…Continue Reading
CITRUS HEIGHTS, CA – A man has been charged with attempted murder after he tried to strangle his 3-month-old baby to death in a Walmart parking lot.
Daniel Graf, 32, was at the Walmart on Friday night to meet his estranged wife and visit his daughter. The couple eventually got into an argument over custody arrangements that led to Graf’s wife calling police.
Graf got angry with the responding officer and began walking away with his daughter. Graf then threatened to kill the baby and began strangling her. Realizing the infant was in danger, the officer decided to show Graf the proper way to choke the life out of someone by placing him in a carotid restraint control hold.
“It’s a tactic where the officer applies pressure to both sides of the carotid artery on the neck that will render and individual briefly unconscious,” said Jon Kempf from Citrus Heights Police.
What Kempf is trying to say is that the officer placed Graf in the Sleeper hold, an effective choke-hold I liked to employ on my ex-wife during sex, and before her lawyers got involved.…Continue Reading