In The Mean Time...
Hermilo Salmeron was driving his son, 30 year-old Joel Salmeron-Ciprian, his son’s wife, as well as his grandkids home from a wedding because his son was too drunk to drive.
Prosecutor’s have relayed that Salmeron-Ciprian munchy-wunched on his father’s face after the patriarch pulled the car over because his inebriated failure of a son was screaming expletives at him, punched him in the face, and eventually placed his hands around the driver’s throat.
A fight ensued after both men exited the truck leading up to the bite. All of this in front of the passengers in the car, which included young children.
King County deputy sheriffs answered the call and found Salmeron-Ciprian pinned to the ground by his father, who was bleeding profusely from his face. Medics responded to the scene and took the older man to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle.
Upon his arrest, Salmeron-Ciprian decided to challenge deputies, which led to his dumb ass being subdued with a stun-gun.…
MILTON, GA – A man was sentenced to life in prison after shooting his stepson to death during an argument over loud video games.
Back in February of last year, 46-year-old Eric Brandon got into an argument with his stepson, 16-year-old Alexander Koser, over the teen playing his video games too loudly. While Koser was fixing a snack in the kitchen, Brandon grabbed a 12-gauge shotgun.
When Koser turned around, Brandon shot the teen once in the chest. He then racked the shotgun and fired a second shot into the teen’s his chest. He then racked the shotgun again and fired a third shot into his stepson’s body.
Brandon called 911 and reported what he had done and was apprehended without incident. According to the DA, while in the back of the police car, Brandon told police that he hoped the teen was dead. He was eventually charged with two counts of felony murder and with possession of a weapon while committing a felony.
Jurors took less than 30 minutes to convict him of the charges on Wednesday.…
Rockville, UT – Two people were killed after a 300 ton boulder literally flattened a house during a rockslide.
Emergency crews from multiple agencies were dispatched to a hillside along State Route 9, which runs through Zion National Park, at around 5 p.m. yesterday. They would find the home that once stood at the bottom of the hill had been destroyed by several boulders, including one sumbitch that stood over 15-feet tall.
“It just flattened out,” Rockville’s mayor, Dan McGuire, said of the house.
Sadly, the house wasn’t the only thing flattened out. Two people who were in the home have now been confirmed dead. Springdale Police Chief Kurt Wright said two bodies were found inside the home and were found close to each other.
Their names have not been released, but neighbors said they were beloved, longtime residents.
No official word on what caused the rockslide, but Wright blamed it on the winter weather. He said they’ve experiencing abnormally low temperatures and an abundance of snow. However, temperatures peaked at about 45 degrees on Thursday, possibly thawing the frozen rocks and sending them rolling down the hill.…
According to police, Lopez Webster, 32, entered Timothy Kingery’s home at about 9:00 p.m. that evening and ordered the man to his knees. He yelled something unintelligible at the man two or three times, Kingery didn’t know what dude was going on about, before he proceeded to get stabby.
Police say Kingery was left with three stab wounds on his arm, as well as lacerations to the chest, right arm and neck.
Webster then reportedly grabbed something from the house and ran off.
Just a few blocks down the street, police say, Webster started running along a double set of train tracks. According to a witness waiting for the train to pass, Webster crossed one set of tracks without issue. When he tried to jump between the cars rumbling down the second set of tracks, well, he went and got himself all broken.…
Readers of this site are well-informed on the dangers of pit bulls and their insatiable lust for human blood. But a man in Italy didn’t find this out until one of his two pit bulls chewed off his balls.
Firefighters found the 30-year-old man inside his apartment after his girlfriend, who hadn’t heard from him, called and asked them to perform a welfare check. She explained that he was a chronic diabetic and may have suffered a medical emergency preventing him from calling for help.
Once firefighters got inside the man’s apartment, they found him laying on the floor unconscious. He had lost a lot of blood from a severe injury caused by one of his two pit bulls chowing down on his yam bag. The man was rushed to the hospital in serious condition, but it is now being reported that he died from his injuries yesterday morning.…
Staffordshire — A 49-year-old grandfather has been banned from every grocery store in the entire UK after he was caught whippin’ up a load of baby batter in the meat aisle of a Sainsbury’s supermarket.
Eugenio Freitas told the court Monday he truly and fully intended to go shopping back in early July, but became overwhelmed by his ‘excessive sexual drive’. I’m tellin’ ya, a good looking prime rib gets my drive all kinds of worked up.
Prosecutor Marcus Harry informed the court that at least one store employee was willing to give Freitas the benefit of the doubt when she first witnessed him playing pocket pool — she assumed he was merely adjusting himself. Before too long, though, a customer complained about Freitas’ “adjustment” tactics.
The staff member was called to the CCTV area, where she and the security guard were given their own little show….
“He was seen for about ten minutes with his hands down his trousers and in his pocket with his hands moving around,” said Marcus Harry.…
It was reported that she was strangled with a form of ligature although further details have not been given.
The girl was last seen at home the day before in the early morning hours but was not in attendance at Westwood High School after leaving home for school. Her mother proceeded to file a missing-persons report the same evening.
Lucero’s body was found early the next day at the Sun Garden Apartments, a few miles from her home, by professional dumpster divers searching the trash container for recyclables. Upon the recovery of the girl’s remains, Lucero’s mother immediately had a suspect in mind.
The piece of shit in custody is 31-year-old Alex Anthony Madrid. Madrid is charged with first-degree murder, kidnapping, sexual conduct with a minor, molestation of a child, sexual abuse, child abuse, abandonment/concealment of a dead body and tampering with physical evidence, according to Mesa police.…
Alexander Gonzalez Garcia, a deacon with the Seventh-day Adventist Church in Nampa, was arrested Tuesday.
According to police, the young girl accused Garcia of getting a little touchy-feely in a storage room at the church during a potluck dinner back in July.
Garcia has reportedly admitted to kissing and hugging the girl, but denies doing anything inappropriate.
Garcia told police Satan was in the storage room that day — just kinda hanging out, creating a new level for Candy Crush, I’m assuming — and that dirty rat bastard must have slithered his way into Garcia’s body and is totally responsible for fondling that young girl.
Garcia has been booked into the Canyon County Jail on a charge of lewd conduct with a minor.
Prosecutors said church officials had been very cooperative throughout the investigation. No word on whether that storage room has been “cleaned.”…
The man told police he was just getting his hair cut Monday, when one of the salon’s other barbers started giving him shit. The two apparently have some sort of long running feud-type thing going on. He knows the barber from around the neighborhood, he told police, but the two certainly aren’t friends. He also told police the barber had assaulted him on previous occasions, but he never reported it.
Anyways, the alleged victim had had enough of the man’s crap that day, and after he was finished in the chair, asked him to kindly knock it the fuck off. The mean barber reportedly responded with a death threat of sorts, in addition to threats of a stabbin’ and a punchin’. And with that, the victim said, the barber grabbed a pair of scissors and attempted to stab him in the gut.…
LOSANGELES, CA — Earlier this month we reported on a man who was electrocuted while stealing copper, and now we have a man who was burned alive while trying to steal gasoline.
Firefighters were called to a 76 gas station early Tuesday morning on a report of a van on fire in the parking lot. Once the flames had been extinguished, the crew found the charred body of 56-year-old Richard Glover inside the van.
Investigators say the fire started while Glover was using a pump to siphon gas from the station’s underground gas tank into a couple of 55-gallon drums inside the van. The resulting explosion sent a fireball 10-feet into the air and blew out a nearby window, according to the station’s security guard.
Glover’s family told investigators they were aware of Glover’s tendency to steal gas whenever money got tight and had pleaded with him to stop, especially since he’d been burned once before while stealing gas.
“The family’s been asking him to stop, stop, stop, stop doing it,” said Glover’s brother-in-law.…
Lithia Springs, GA – Jamie Lynn Bentley, 33, has recently been arrested on a felony charge of cruelty to children. She somehow managed to raise 7 other children, but apparently decided that the 8th didn’t really need that much attention.
The moment Bentley birthed her latest child there were allegations about meth abuse, but she passed the test given to her by the hospital before her release.
DFCS didn’t forget about her though, and after 6 weeks they visited her at home. They noticed the infant was severely underweight, weighing only 6 lbs 3 ounces. The 6 week old (who should have gained weight) had lost 2 pounds since birth. They seemed surprised the child was even alive, and after viewing pictures, Kristi Wilson with the DA’s Office stated “They couldn’t even recognize it was a baby in the pictures.” That was probably due to the fact that he was so starved he was eating his own muscle mass.
The boy was taken straight to the hospital, and mom was given the opportunity to help nurse the child back to health.…
Schmidt apparently started terrorizing the residents in the 7000 block of Rainier Avenue South in late August. That was when police received their first report of a nekkid, masturbating man driving around the neighborhood. The woman who called to report that particular incident told police the man drove by her home and then returned an hour later, all nekkid and rubbing himself and stuff. She said he appeared to be looking at a group of children playing nearby. The woman’s husband reported having seen the same man doing the same thing about three or four weeks prior.
Another woman told police she first witnessed the man tickling his pickle in late May. According to charging papers, the 27-year-old woman said the alleged flounder pounder passed her home about nine times. She told police she was able to snap a photo several times.…
San Antonio, TX — This is 39-year-old Rosie Mae Strait. Looks positively thrilled to be here, doesn’t she? She’s facing charges after allegedly stabbing her man with a screwdriver because he neglected to have her breakfast ready when she woke.
The lucky bastard that calls this woman “his,” is 55-year-old Ishmail Swain. He told police he left the little lady sleeping in bed at about 11:00 a.m. Monday, and when he returned at about 12:30, she started screaming at him for not fixing her breakfast.
At some point during this lover’s spat, Strait got hold of a screwdriver and apparently plunged it into his arm. Twice.
Swain was attended to by paramedics at the scene – he’d been poked on the right wrist and forearm – and police noted he also had a scratch on the side of his nose.
The screwdriver appears to have disappeared. It was not immediately visible at the scene. Hmmmm… has anyone checked that ‘do?
Rosie Mae was booked on charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon causing serious bodily injury.…
Davie, FL — A grieving father, angry over the death of his son in an alleged drunk driving accident, was arrested at the courthouse Monday after attempting to knock the stupid out of the man accused in the boy’s death.
On June 12, 2011, Juan Gonzalez Jr. was riding his motorcycle when he slammed into a Jeep Cherokee driven by John Powers. Police allege Powers was attempting to make a u-turn from northbound State Road 7 at Orange Drive. Gonzalez, who was traveling south, slammed on his brakes to avoid hitting the Jeep. The motorcycle skidded, slid on its side, and slammed into the Jeep. Gonzalez died from his injuries the next day.
A Davie police officer noticed the smell of alcohol on Powers’ breath, and several empty beer cans were found in his vehicle. He blew a 0.15, which is nearly twice the legal limit.
Powers was ultimately charged with DUI manslaughter and manslaughter with an unlawful blood alcohol level. He pleaded not guilty Monday. The Gonzalez family was in attendance at that hearing.…
Huh. So it’s not just ‘Muricans?
The unidentified 26-year-old man reportedly bitched about the temperature of his fries to one of the employees at the drive-thru window early Saturday morning. That conversation, however, got him squat. So he exited his vehicle, ax in hand, and started swinging.
After he was finished beating up the drive-thru window, he walked around the front of the building and hurled the ax through the entrance doors, scaring the McShit out of a group of late night snackers.
The guy fled the scene, but was apprehended rather quickly. Paramedics patched up a wound to the man’s hand sustained during his little temper tantrum, and he was carted off to the pokey. I have no idea what charges he may be facing.
The only other reported injury was rather minor — the 35-year-old man tending the drive-thru that morning suffered cuts to the face from flying glass.…
Last year, authorities in New South Wales uncovered an inbred cult living in a remote valley just south of Sydney.
The clan was discovered after residents of a nearby town reported children wandering the hills and valley. Authorities investigated the area where the children were spotted only to stumble upon a clan of about 40 adults and children living in makeshift sheds, tents and “broken down caravans” with no running water, electricity, or working sewage systems. Dirt covered the cooking area, rotten vegetation was stored in the refrigerator, and there were even claims of a kangaroo sleeping in a child’s bed (D’awww)
Upon further investigation, it was determined that the clan made up 4 generations of inbreeding going back to great-great grandparents who were actually brother and sister. And you know what comes with fornicating with a relative right? A super-strain of retardation and deformities.
Among the examples of human anomalies include an illiterate, speech impaired nine-year-old girl who “did not know how to use a toilet or what toilet paper was, a boy with a walking impairment and severe psoriasis, another with hearing and sight problems and yet another boy whose eyes were misaligned.”
Details of generations of child abuse and inbreeding were made public and I’d rather not yak on my newly fixed laptop so forgive me for not indulging all of you twisted wankers with the unsexy bits.…
FORT WORTH, TX — A juvenile court judge has gotten some people upset after she sentenced 16-year-old Ethan Couch to 10 years’ probation for the drunk driving crash that killed four people.
Back in June, Breanna Mitchell’s SUV had a flat tire so she pulled over to the side of the road. Hollie Boyles, 52, and her daughter, Shelby Boyles, 21, lived nearby and had came out to help Mitchell. Brian Jennings, 41, was driving by and also stopped to see if he could lend a hand.
Unfortunately for all of them, 16-year-old Ethan Couch was also on the road, driving drunk. He and some of his seven passengers had stolen some beer from a Walmart hours earlier and were speeding when Couch lost control of his truck, left the road and struck Breanna’s SUV.
Breanna, Hollie, Shelby and Brian were not in the road when the collision occurred, but they were all killed on impact and thrown 50 to 60 yards away. One of Couch’s passengers suffered serious injuries while another remains paralyzed and only able to communicate by blinking his eyes.…
Roosevelt, UT – A male nurse at Uintah Basin Medical Center has been accused of sexually abusing a female surgery patient on multiple occasions.
Joshua Shumway, 26, allegedly sexually abused the woman in April while she was recovering overnight from surgery at the hospital. Although Shumway was not assigned to the patient, he administered medication to her and put her hand on an automatic morphine injector pump to activate it. Once she was nice and doped up, he sexually assaulted her. He then returned to her room four more times throughout the night to continue abusing her.
The woman said she tried to locate the nurse call button to alert someone of the attack, but she could not find it and had no way of physically escaping him. She also tried to vocalize her displeasure with Shumway’s actions by saying “please, no” but said her words came out “squeaky and stupid,” according to the charges. It also didn’t help that Shumway told her that if she didn’t keep her mouth shut, he’d cause her go into cardiac arrest by injecting her with a syringe.…