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In The Mean Time...

Man Shoots Himself In Foot To See How It Feels

June 15, 2015 at 1:33 pm by  

stoopitColorado Springs, CO — A 30-year-old man is facing numerous charges after admitting to police that he purposely shot himself in the foot, just to see how if felt.

Investigators were called to St. Francis Hospital last Wednesday after receiving a report about an accidental shooting. Upon making contact with Adam Hirtle, however, they learned the horrible truth — it wasn’t an accident.*dundunduuuun*

Hirtle apparently informed the responding officers that he had intentionally shot himself in the foot. He told police he walked into his garage that evening and, for whatever reason, removed his boot and shot it with a .22. He then returned the boot to his foot and pulled the trigger again, injuring himself. Kinda. I mean, it was a .22.

He’s been arrested on suspicion of a prohibited use of a weapon, reckless endangerment and child abuse. The last charge had me scratching my head for a minute — I’m assuming there were young ‘ens somewhere in the vicinity.

Stupid may not hurt a lot, but I’m guessing it stings a little….…

kroebelLINCOLN, NB – 32-year-old Kristopher Koebel–who is said to be a “transient”–kept police hopping and jumping late Friday-early Saturday, resulting in him winding up arrested for burglary, attempted theft of a police cruiser, and fleeing authorities.

It started at 11:19 p.m. Friday, when police responded to a burglar alarm at Muscle Car Memories. When officers arrived, they saw that the front door was destroyed and the overheard garage door had been left open. Further, a 1974 Pontiac Firebird valued at $100,000 had been stolen.

Just a few minutes later, a witness saw someone breaking into a Verizon Wireless store from which about $380 worth of cell phone accessories were stolen.

Around 12:30 a.m., a man was observed inside a police cruiser parked outside a Lincoln Police Department substation. When approached by an off-duty sergeant, the man asked for a key to the cruiser. Not surprisingly, the sergeant refused, at which point the man fled in a white 1974 Pontiac Firebird.

A short car chase ended back at Muscle Car Memories, where it’s said Koebel tried to steal the business owner’s truck.…

Zachary DunnCOLUMBUS, OH – On Thursday, 32-year-old Zachary Dunn was sentenced to life in prison without parole for the 2013 kidnapping, assault, and rape of six-year-old Macey Stewart. Apparently after raping her, Dunn left the child for dead.

The charges of which he was found guilty? Three counts of kidnapping with sexual motivation specifications, abduction, rape, two counts of gross sexual imposition, and felonious assault.

Stewart was reported missing at around 1:30 a.m. on July 26, 2013; at the time, she and a sibling were being watched by a 16-year-old friend of the family while the children’s father was out helping an older son with a tire.

A plethora of emergency and law enforcement personnel (including the canine variety) began a search for the girl but had no luck. However, at about 4:00 p.m. that day, she showed up naked, injured, and crying six miles from home in a homeowner’s back yard.

The homeowner recognized her and called 911, after which she was taken to a local hospital. Later that evening, police arrested Dunn.…

Cirilo Castillo Jr.HIDALGO COUNTY, TX – Well, well, well… look who’s back on Dreamin’ Demon. If it isn’t  45-year-old Cirilo Castillo Jr., Texas’ notorious horse lover.

Back in 2013, we reported on Castillo after he got busted having sex with the same horse twice in three months. Now he’s back in jail for trying to have sex with a horse, and breaking his leg in the process.

When we last left Castillo two years ago, he had been arrested for having sex with a horse named Nadia for a second time. The last time he had sex with the horse, the act was captured by the owner’s newly installed surveillance cameras.

“We have a hell of a surveillance tape,” said Hidalgo County Sheriff Lupe Trevino at the time. “It is not going to go to, ‘America’s Funniest Videos,’ that is for sure.”

Castillo had already been in trouble for his love of horses, having been arrested in 2012 for having sex with two different horses on two different ranches.

The problem is that there is no law in Texas that makes it illegal to have sex with a horse, so in the 2013 incident with Nadia, Castillo was only charged with trespassing and animal cruelty.…

James RodgersPORT ARTHUR, TX – Investigators say 72-year-old James Rogers died inside his Corvette, along with his dog, after he was unable to open the doors or windows of his car.

After Rogers finished eating at a Waffle House last week where he is a regular, he got into his 2007 Corvette with his dog, Leia.

What Rogers didn’t know was that a loose battery cable was the reason why his car would not start, and also why he was unable to unlock the doors or roll down the windows. Even worse, Rogers had accidentally left his phone in the restaurant.

Eventually another customer noticed Rogers unresponsive in the car and they, along with store employees, tried to get the doors open. Firefighters arrived and busted out a window, but by then it was too late. Both Rogers and his dog would die from heat exhaustion.

What makes this story so tragic is that had Rogers read the manual to his car, he would have known that the Corvette is equipped with a manual release on the driver’s side of the car that bypasses the battery and will unlock the doors.…

crazy ohioHAMILTON TOWNSHIP, OH – A naked 17-year-old, was shot with a shotgun after attempting to break into homes looking for women to rape – keeps jerking it while being arrested.

The teen was seen attempting to break into several houses by witnesses, screaming obscenities, before successfully breaking into the house of an unnamed married couple. The husband held the bare-assed teen at gunpoint while his wife called 911 for help.

She was heard by 911 operators pleading with him to keep his distance repeatedly. “I never said you were gay, honey. I believe you, I believe you. Stay away from me. Stay away from me. Please, please.” She warned him that he would be shot if he didn’t keep his distance.

He reached for her throat at which point her husband shot him in the back, hitting his wife in the eye and shoulder in the process. Propelled as if shot out of a pinball machine, he began running around bouncing off of walls. The husband ran for towels to help control the bleeding, when he returned he found the weirdo had retreated to his porch to teach his dick a lesson while simultaneously bleeding out.…

David LaveraNEWTON, IA – On Monday, 34-year-old David LaVera was sentenced to 10 years in prison for sexually abusing a 14-year-old girl while posing as a Twilight actor.

One year ago today, LaVera was arrested in Baxter, Iowa, after trying to lure a 14-year-old girl into his car. He had been communicating with the girl on social media while claiming to be Kiowa Gordon, an actor known for playing Embry Call, one of those shape shifter/werewolf thingies featured in the mind-numbingly insipid Twilight series, and traveled to Baxter specifically for a meet-up with her.

However, a friend of the girl’s mother intervened, getting her out LaVera’s car, at which point he sped away. Police caught him a few minutes later and found two swords and several daggers in his vehicle. As far as I can tell, it’s this incident that led to the sexual abuse charge, as it appears that LaVera inappropriately touched the girl before trying to get her into his car.

Turns out that before the Baxter arrest, LaVera had come to LE’s attention for trying to lure a different 14-year-old girl in Newton.…

Shariah WhitneyPOST FALLS, ID – Kootenai County Sheriff’s Office arrested 23-year-old Shariah Whitney after she crashed a car containing herself, her 5-year-old daughter, and a 15-year-old family friend, thus ending an alleged incident of drunken street racing.

As KXLY reports, witnesses reported two vehicles driving side-by-side 70 to 80 miles an hour down a residential road Sunday night.

The so-called street race was terminated when Whitney’s car went off the road, ran over a stop sign, hit the parked car belonging to Rex Hyatt’s in-laws, and came to rest on the lawn of Hyatt’s home.

All the makings of senseless tragedy right here: not just drunken driving but high-speed drunken driving and a car crash. Color me SMH in wonder, because no one was injured.

Whitney’s husband Nathan is disputing the version of events offered by law enforcement, however, claiming that the crash was caused not by street racing but by Shariah attempting to pass a car on a road unfamiliar to her. He further indicated that his wife didn’t have more than two drinks on Sunday.…

Beech Grove WalmartBEECH GROVE, IN – Cell phone video has went viral, showing two women and a 6-year-old boy fighting in the shampoo aisle of a Beech Grove Walmart.

The video has everything I look for: white trash, women fighting, Walmart shoppers, yoga pants, tattoos, motorized scooters, profanity, violence, child endangerment, and a little boy pouring chemicals in the face of a pinned-down adult.

The incident was captured on video last Thursday by a fellow shopper who was recording an argument between a woman in a motorized scooter and a store employee over carts in the aisle.

When a woman with her 6-year-old son decided to defend the Walmart employee, the two women got into an argument that turned physical when the woman in the motorized scooter suddenly jumped up and knocked the other woman into the shampoo aisle.

With shampoos falling off the shelves and spilling on to the floor, the two women begin scrapping and, at one point, the woman with the child begins screaming “Johnny, punch her in her fucking face!

Carrie Bradshaw-Crowther

UPDATE – Bradshaw-Crowther was found alive and safe Monday in Boone, NC. A post on her brother’s Facebook page indicates that ” Carrie is presently hospitalized and is receiving much needed medical care….While it is unfortunate, we no longer expect a new addition to our family and ask for your continued prayers. We respect the HIPPA [sic] laws and we feel that releasing any more information should be in Carrie’s discretion after she has the opportunity to heal.”

SALISBURY, NC – About an hour before her scheduled 6:00 a.m. C-section last Tuesday, 49-year-old Carrie Bradshaw-Crowther disappeared.

As those of you obsessed with fertility and baby production already have concluded, Bradshaw-Crowther’s pregnancy is considered high risk; additionally, according to her 26-year-old daughter Lauren Lusk, her mother has a medical condition that requires a C-section.

Lusk and her wife Shelbi drove into Salisbury the preceding Saturday to help get the house ready for the baby; early Tuesday, she (and, presumably, Shelbi) ran out to gas up her vehicle for the drive to Charlotte.…

Patrick WaitsHOBBS, NM – Patrick Waits was arrested Tuesday and charged with burglary and unlawful entry after walking into a stranger’s home, doing some chores, and making himself some food.

Apparently it all started when a female resident of the home was wakened early on Tuesday by noise in her kitchen. When she went to discover the source of the noise, she found the 45-year-old Waits wiping down a counter and cooking a potato in her microwave.

According to a police report, “She asked him what he was doing there, and he told her he was making a potato.”

Alas, the potato snack was not to be, as the resident instructed Waits to leave. And he did. Once out of the house, he began raking leaves in the front yard.

It seems that “[t]he female resident convinced Waits to stay by saying she wanted to pay him for his service” to ensure he was still at the residence when police arrived, who noted that he was stumbling and slurring his words.…

Kinny RedmonURBANA, IL — A judge wasn’t too happy with Kinny Redmon, setting her bond at $250,000 after the 24-year-old was accused of cooking her ex-boyfriend’s puppy in an oven.

According to reports, Redmon and the owner of the dog used to date and have a child together. Although they broke up six months ago, the couple still live together in the same home.

On Thursday, the two got into an argument before the ex left for work, leaving his 3-month-old pit bull at the house. While at work the man noticed he had missed three calls from Redmon.

When he called back, she answered and said “Go get yo’ puppy out the oven, (expletive),” before hanging up.

Urbana police investigator Dave Smysor said the man went home to find his oven set at 300 degrees with a chair pushed up against the door. Inside the oven the man found that his puppy had been cooked to death.

Redmon was located, arrested and charged with two felonies; animal torture and aggravated cruelty to animals.…

MalikiJEFFERSON, WV- Malaki, a 2-year-old a pit bull/dachshund mix, was found bleeding profusely and trying to crawl back into the house after having both his legs chopped off by an unknown instrument.

Jessica Bennett walked out of her house to get her mail at around 6pm Tuesday evening. When she got to her yard she noticed a trail of blood leading back to her house. The blood would lead her to discover her dog had crawled under the house and was covered in blood.

“Ten minutes later, he makes his way up on my porch to tell mommy that he’s hurt,” Bennett said. This is when the source of the bleeding became apparent, Malakai was missing both of his paws.

Bennett started screaming hysterically for her fiancé to come help her. They wrapped the mutilated dog in a blanket and rushed him to a vet. His injuries, compounded with the amount of blood he lost, were too severe that they had to put him down.

The Humane Society of the United States and Katie Lee from the Food Network are both offering a $5,000 award each for information leading to the arrest and conviction of the person and/or persons responsible for butchering Malakai.…

635688728619002145-Amanda-BairdHOUSTON, TX- Amanda Baird, 33, was found beaten to death on her birthday in the presence of her 4-year-old daughter.

Baird’s roommate came home from work at 2 am and was let in by the Baird’s 4-year-old daughter. After finding Baird unconscious, she called 911. Paramedics would take Baird to Ben Taub Hospital where she was pronounced dead from blunt force trauma.

The roommate now fears Baird’s young daughter may have witnessed the murder. “I found the baby. The baby is the one who opened the door and let me in. I’m so worried about the baby at this point, because of what she went through and what she saw.”

Earlier that evening Baird had been texting her friend, Jennifer Lester, who confirmed that Baird had been fighting with her ex-boyfriend. Lester asked Baird if her ex had gotten physical with her. She replied with a very short text that simply stated, “Yes. I’m ok.”

Houston Homicide Detectives confirmed that a man with the same name as the ex-boyfriend was found dead the next morning of an apparent suicide.…

schmuckKINNEAR, WY – On Friday, 46-year-old Terry Schmuck was arrested and charged with attempted first-degree murder after hitting his estranged wife Cindy in the head with a hatchet. (Insert your own joke about a “hatchet job” here.)

Terry Schmuck got served divorce papers early Thursday morning and didn’t react well. Actually, someone give me an award for understatement already. KCWY13 reported that “[t]he affidavit says Terry cut the telephone wires with the hatchet before forcefully entering the home and striking his estranged wife in the head. It was then that the victim asked to be taken to the hospital when terry [sic] took her.”

Your language lesson of the day: “The Latin adverb sic (“thus”; in full: sic erat scriptum, “thus was it written”) inserted immediately after a quoted word or passage, indicates that the quoted matter has been transcribed exactly as found in the source text, complete with any erroneous or archaic spelling, surprising assertion, faulty reasoning, or other matter that might otherwise be taken as an error of transcription.” Thanks, Wikipedia!…

Adrienne MartinSAINT LOUIS, MO – Adrienne Martin, the 37-year-old accused of setting a dog on fire after it allegedly bit her son, has had all charges dropped against her.

In July 2013, Martin was charged with two felony counts of animal abuse after she allegedly set a relative’s 3-year-old terrier mix on fire. The burns to the dog, named Brownie, were so severe that it had to be euthanized.

A witness told police he saw flames come from where the dog was chained to the back fence of the owner’s home and saw a man with a gas tank and Martin, the sister-in-law of the dog’s owner, with a lighter. The witness even picked Martin out of a photo lineup.

A quick check of Martin’s Facebook page was also very telling. One post the day before Brownie was set on fire read “I’m on killa mode…#killdogs.com…today.” On the day Brownie was burned, a post was tagged with “#alldogsdontgotoheaven.com.” After the incident made the news, Martin posted: “MF’s is killin me about this stupid dog…keep it real…you didn’t take care nor like or love the MF…on the TV str8 lies.”

After she was picked up and interviewed by police, Martin admitted to setting the dog on fire because Brownie had bitten her son the day before.…

Tayon Tayweezy AlexanderSILVER SPRING SHORES, FL – Tayvon Alexander and his girlfriend have been arrested after a 3-year-old boy was found with possible rib and facial fractures, as well as severe bruising to his face and torso.

With his arrest on Sunday in Marion County for charges of aggravated child abuse after his alleged treatment of a three-year-old child, I’m thinking 23-year-old Tayon L. Alexander has used up his 15 minutes of fame. (And God help us all: Florida? AGAIN?)

Based on Alexander’s many Facebook selfies and the subsequently unsubstantiated report that “Well loox like i got the part az a model forreal. they payin 4 the flight up 2 new york and i can make a retainer of $10,000 a month. loox like im gonna b livin it the fukk up now!!!!!!”(Translation: “Well, it looks like I got the part as a model. They’re paying for the flight up to New York, and I can make a retainer of $10,000 a month. Looks like I’m going to be living a nice lifestyle!”), I’m guessing Alexander believes his supposed 5’6″ 138-pound physique alone (c’mon, we have to rule out his writing abilities, don’t we?) is going to shoot him into the Kardashian-ist stratosphere.…

Sharon JonesDALLAS, TX – Four members of the same family have been arrested after allegedly beating a pregnant 14-year-old in order to force an abortion, then burning the stillborn’s remains on a charcoal grill.

According to reports, the victim went to police this month to report what had happened to her. She said that she got pregnant after being raped raped by a family member in August 2012. She did not report the crime at the time because she was ’embarrassed’.

Five months later her family could see that she was pregnant. They feared other children in the home would be removed if CPS investigated the details surrounding the girl’s pregnancy, so they decided to hide the crime.

Plan A involved 45-year-old Sharon Jones reportedly giving the girl multiple doses of birth control pills, emergency contraception pills and cinnamon tablets. When none of these methods killed the baby, the family went to Plan B; beat the baby out of her.

The girl, along with a witness who went to the police station with her, told police that in the living room of Jones’ house, 25-year-old Cecilia McDonald held her arms down while Lonnell McDonald kicked and bounced up and down on her stomach.…

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