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In The Mean Time...

Hayes, VA — Brian and Shannon Gore were featured just a couple days ago, but because of recently released information, I wanted to get a quickie update posted here.

Investigators landed on the couple’s doorstep last week hoping to question the pair about some stolen gold bullion. During the course of their investigation, deputies found a shit covered young girl wasting away in a makeshift crib-cage inside the trailer. The tiny child was suffering from bedsores and severe starvation. Detectives say the kid was so hungry she was eating the flaky skin off her forehead.

Aside from the delectable flaky forehead skin, the child’s diet apparently consisted of Pop-tarts and sandwiches. She was allowed one Pop-tart in the morning and one in the evening. Every now and then she was given a sandwich to go along with her evening meal.

Brian Gore reportedly told police no one knew the child existed. He also claims the girl was born in the trailer on December 5, 2008, and has no birth certificate.…

Police Tase Naked Marathon Runner

May 3, 2011 at 2:27 am by  

Cincinnati, OH — Brett Henderson, 35, was tazed by disgruntled officers in downtown Cincinnati Sunday after they apparently found his running the city’s marathon naked unamusing.

According to police, Henderson refused to exit the annual Flying Pig Marathon and get in a police car, running around an officer and continuing to run in the  race. Police said Henderson was then instructed by police to get in a car or he would be tased. Henderson kept on running and, as promised, an officer tased him.

“At one point, the policeman charged me and told me to stop running or he was going to tase me, and I could sense his aggression and rage and I thought the police were going to manhandle me,” said Henderson. “The metal arrows of the taser were shot into me and electrocuted me, and I went into convulsions on the ground. When I finally came to, the policemen were standing around laughing at me. They put me in the squad car and took me to jail, where I spent four hours.”

Henderson says he suffered burn injuries from the taser.…

Columbus, OH — 54-year-old Kimberly Sue Brooks of Bronx, NY was indicted on on Friday for allegedly giving a 4-year-old methadone.

According to police, Brooks was visiting a family in Columbus, Ohio last October. Brooks told police her friend’s young daughter ‘was not feeling well the night before, and was fussy and could not sleep,’ so she gave the girl some methadone.

The 4-year-old girl later had to be taken to Nationwide Children’s Hospital after suffering cardiac arrest. There is no word on the child’s current condition, but based on the charges, it’s safe to assume she survived.

Brooks faces one count of felonious assault and two counts of endangering children. It is great that that they have a drug for heroin addiction. Do they have a drug for stupid, yet?…

Girl, 10, Charged With Murdering Infant

May 2, 2011 at 3:32 pm by  

Shippensburg, PA — A 10-year-old girl in Pennsylvania has been charged with murdering 10-month-old Heath Ryder.

Last July, 56-year-old Dottie Mae Bowers was baby sitting Ryder when she called his mother saying she could not wake Heath from his nap and he was breathing funny. The mother told Bowers to call 911, but she didn’t. Ryder would die later at the hospital from blunt force trauma to the head and a doctor would later say that Ryder’s chances of survival would have been “greatly increased” had the idiot simply called 911 at the first signs of trouble.

Bowers was charged with involuntary manslaughter and endangering the welfare of a child on Friday. She was released on an unsecured $50,000 bond and faces 15 years if convicted. Also charged was one of the girls who were also at the home. She was 9 at the time, and was charged with third-degree murder and originally charged as an adult.

There were two girls there at the time, the accused and a 7-year-old, each with a different account of what happened to Ryder.…

Chicago, IL –  A 38-year-old man is being held on $1,000,000 bail after allegedly raping a 6-year-old girl in front of her brother.

Prosecutors allege Jerry Harris went into the bedroom of his friend’s two children back in 2010, ordered a young boy to hide under his blankets, then proceeded to rape the boy’s 6-year-old sister. The young boy witnessed the entire thing because he “peeked” from under his covers and watched the ordeal.

Harris was arrested on Friday and charged with predatory sexual assault of a child after the incident was reported to a teacher. Prosecutors told the judge Harris has eight prior felony convictions while his public defender informed the court he had five children of his own. Scary, I know. The judge must have thought so as well, and set his bond at $1 million on Saturday.

I’m hoping if the allegations are true, he sits in jail for a long time to come.…

Riverside, CA — Police are reporting a regional director for the National Socialist Movement was shot in killed at his home early Sunday morning, and his 10-year-old son is suspected of pulling the trigger.

Jeff Hall, 32, was a regional director for the National Socialist Movement, a neo-Nazi group based in Detroit. Police responded to his home early Sunday after a report of shots fired. Inside they found Hall dead from a single gunshot wound.

His wife and five other children were at the home at the time of the shooting, but only his 10-year-old son was detained. Police said they were not looking for any additional suspects. They also didn’t state if they felt the shooting was an accident or intentional, but I’m sure that will all come out later when more details are revealed.

Aside from working as a plumber, Hall was gaining a lot of attention with his neo-Nazi endeavors. He ran for a position on the Western Riverside Municipal Water District board in November, but lost to incumbent Tom Evans.…

After last week’s episode had me worried that I had lost interest in the show, last night’s episode of  THE KILLING, “What You Have Left,” pulled me right back in with one of the better episodes since the pilot.

The show’s attempt at showing some of the realities of death and the ripple effect it causes had me worried the it was going to consistently travel too far into depressing territory to be enjoyable, and this episode was no exception when it opened with Rosie being prepped and the family getting ready for the funeral.

Once again we are shown some of the effects Rosie’s death is having on the family, but luckily these are done with some short, effective scenes instead of an entire episode of the Larson’s walking around in a daze while neglecting their two boys. The couple arguing over the date Rosie gave her father a pair of cuff links, Tom asking to be a pallbearer and later crushing a millipede crawling near his sister’s were all well-played and thankfully for me, brief.…

Port St. Lucie, FL — The gentleman sporting the lovely shiner is 42-year-old Stephen Kurtycz – he’s facing charges of aggravated battery after police say he confronted a bothersome neighbor with a baseball bat.

According to the police affidavit, Kurtycz grew angry over a neighbor’s loud music late Tuesday night, and after yelling at ’em to “turn that (bleep bleep) down,” he apparently grabbed a wooden baseball bat and headed over for a not so friendly chat.

Unable to resolve the matter verbally, police say Kurtycz whacked the woman upside the head so hard the bat splintered. He then reportedly attacked one of the woman’s friends, landing a punch to the eye. At that, the friend grabbed hold of Kurtycz’s bat and popped him a good one in the face, sending him to the ground. After picking himself up and dusting himself off, Kurtycz returned home. He was taken into custody a short time later.

Police say the homeowner has declined to press charges. Speaking of the homeowner, that was either a really cheap ass bat or that woman has a head made of iron.…

The Pulpit Of Doom Podcast Episode 7

May 2, 2011 at 8:22 am by  

Thanks to everyone who turned out for last night’s podcast, a podcast full of feces and penis. I was a bit worried as we pulled it together hours before the show as Imp was sick and I was not sure if Jaded would make it or not.

Luckily, Jaded took time out of her busy schedule busting skulls and we were finally able to get a good friend of mine, the infamous Michelle McKee, to join us and have her podcast cherry popped.

Even Kniption called in to talk about a couple of his stories before he got disconnected. So check it out and listen as we talk about some of the site’s most popular stories over the last week and why we are better than everyone else.

A big thanks to all the regulars (and guests) who showed up in the chat as well as Malq and Shadow for calling in to the show. If you listened to the live version last night, we did keep going for another 20 minutes as me, Michelle and Jaded discussed huffing paint, Michelle’s other personalities, and beer bottle enemas.…

Hallandale Beach, FL — A group of hearing-impaired men have been hospitalized with stab wounds after police say their sign language was mistaken for gang signs.

31-year-old Alfred Stewart (pictured) was celebrating a birthday with a group of hearing-impaired friends at Ocean’s Eleven Lounge Saturday night when another patron in the bar, 45-year-old Barbara Lee, mistook their sign language for gang gestures and got all kinds of offended. Police say Lee, a suspected gang member, approached the group and began throwing her own signs. Witnesses say the friends motioned for Lee to leave them alone.

Lee exited the bar, but returned a short time later with a couple of thugs in tow, one of them an unidentified juvenile. The other alleged thug, 19-year-old Marco Ibanez, reportedly pulled out a knife and started getting stabby.

Stewart and two of his friends reportedly suffered stab wounds to the back and torso. A bouncer who intervened in the attack was hospitalized after being hit over the head with a beer bottle multiple times.…

Fort Myers, FL — Whitney Noelle Krimmel, 26, was seen by Lee County Sherriff’s deputies in what appeared to be a fight with another woman in Fort Myers just after 3:00 a.m. last Sunday. The result was an arrest with 38 charges against her.

According to a police report, Krimmel started by giving an investigating deputy the wrong name. A female deputy was called to perform pat downs of the women recognized Krimmel – ending the name game. The pat down and search yielded 25 different prescription drugs totaling over 350 pills inside Krimmel’s purse. Purse?! Who uses a purse these days?

The other woman, who is yet unidentified, was also searched and found to be with a variety of prescription drugs totaling over 300 pills.

That’s 650 pills between them. Seems like a lot for a Saturday night…

After the search, the other woman became ill and was transported to the hospital. At the hospital, medical staff discovered another bottle of pills and a knife hidden in a roll of fat in her stomach, as well as a second knife hidden in her vagina.…

Fontana, CA — According to police, Victor Lopez, 38, along with his four children, ages 6 to 16, owned a two-pound Yorkie named Woody. I say “owned” in the past tense because Woody is now dead courtesy of Lopez.

Police report that, on Sunday morning, Woody made the fatal mistake of peeing on the carpet. Lopez’ response was to punt the Yorkie – in full view of all four children – out the back door. The Yorkie flew about 15 feet, landing on a concrete slab. Family members reportedly told police that the dog did not move after hitting the concrete. Woody later died of apparent head trauma.

According to family members, this wasn’t the first time Lopez had kicked the dog in anger. Arrested on suspicion of felony animal cruelty, Lopez was released after posting a $25,000 bond.

Is it just me, or does the Yorkie punter looks like Antonio Banderas?…

Albuquerque, NM — A friend of David Chavez, 27, caught Chavez in his back yard last week reportedly making off with a video game system, jewelry and prescription medication.

The friend and Chavez started to scuffle with the friend getting a firm hold of Chavez’ pants. Undeterred, Chavez simply worked his way out of the pants and made his way over a fence.

Police reported locating Chavez later ‘bleeding and disoriented.’ Chavez was taken to the hospital and an x-ray showed the stolen prescription medication to be deep inside his anal cavity.

Chavez is charged with burglary and evidence-tampering.

…and I am glad to now know that police-speak for shoving something really far up your ass is “evidence tampering.”…

Hayes, VA — While investigating a string of burglaries in the area, deputies stopped at the home Brian and Shannon Gore share with their two young children to ask a few questions on Thursday – in doing so, they may well have saved the life of the couple’s severely neglected daughter.

Inside the couple’s trailer, deputies found a 5-6 year old girl imprisoned in a crib that had been modified to form a makeshift cage – a piece of plywood on top of the crib prevented her escape. The naked child was covered in feces. Police say the girl was extremely malnourished and suffering from severe starvation.

“The doctors at CHKD (Children’s Hospital of the King’s Daughters) told us last night that if we had not discovered this child, by next week, at this time, the child would probably have been deceased,” said Chief Deputy Darrell Warren, Jr.

Though Shannon was often seen toting an infant around the neighborhood, neighbors say they had no clue she had another child wasting away inside the trailer.…

Flushing, NY — Less than one week after we posted the story of the young man stealing and selling his stepfather’s pot, we have a similar case with a firearm.

An eight-year-old boy attending Public School 107 Thomas Dooley in Queens brought his father’s 9mm semiautomatic pistol to school Wednesday – and promptly sold it to a classmate for the bargain price of $3. That classmate, also 8, thought that it was a toy.

This mistaken belief caused the weapon’s new owner to take the loaded handgun home and show it proudly to his mother. His mother, clearly not apprecating that he had gotten an even better buy than he had thought, reportedly went apeshit – “angrily returning to the school” and telling an official. The administration called 911.  …and thus ended the buy of the week.

Police have arrested the father and gun owner, 54-year-old Ignacio Galvan. It has been reported in the news alternately that he was the registered owner of the handgun; that he bought it a decade ago for protection; and that the gun had its serial number scratched off.…

Wisconsin Rapids, WI – As further proof it is an absolute free-for-all in Wisconsin, Kevin A. Lang, 48, a former Marshfield Clinic physician, has been charged with five felony counts of second-degree sexual assault of an intoxicated victim. This because of his alleged tendency to have patients hold his penis while they were coming out of sedation. According to court documents, Lang also forced one woman to touch herself inappropriately.

Lang, a former gastroenterologist, gave up his hospital privileges when confronted with accusations by hospital officials. He reportedly admitted to inappropriately touching 11 other patients between 2003 and 2007.

Lang waived his right to a preliminary hearing this week in Wood County circuit court and stood mute when asked to plea. The judge then entered not guilty pleas on his behalf.

The incidents leading to the charges allegedly occurred between 2005 and 2009 – all of the victims were female. Lang is also named in six civil suits stemming from the claims.

The Wisconsin Medical Examining Board found last year that Lang had inappropriate sexual contact with a woman in 2009.…

Coralville, IA – Lucinda V. Kinder, 32, has been charged with domestic abuse assault without intent causing injury after police say she bit her boyfriend’s penis during a heated argument.

Police responded to the home the woman shares with her boyfriend after receiving a 911 hangup call earlier this month. A police investigation alleges that Kinder punched the man, scratched his left shoulder, then bit his penis causing it to bleed.

At last report, Kinder was jailed on a $2,500 cash bond.

How do you bite a man’s penis to the point of drawing blood without intent to commit injury?!?  I am injured by the thought of it alone.


Police: State Trooper Saw Man Molesting Children

April 29, 2011 at 12:37 pm by  

Orlando, FL — An officer with the Florida Highway Patrol contacted the Orlando Police Department early Tuesday morning after he reportedly witnessed an old geezer molesting two young girls underneath a highway overpass.

According to the trooper, he wasn’t sure what he was witnessing at first, but it appeared as if an older man was forcing two very young girls to fondle him. He turned his vehicle around and grabbed a pair of binoculars.

Sure enough, the old geezer, later identified as 71-year-old Luigi Lubin, grabbed one of the kiddo’s hands and placed it on his groin. The trooper told police Lubin then unzipped his fly, exposing himself to the young ‘ens. At that point, the trooper made contact with the local police department and an arrest was made.

Again, it’s a damn good thing I’m not a cop…geezer would be nothing but a greasy stain on the sidewalk.

Police say the children, ages 2 and 3, are known to Lubin, but don’t specify the exact relationship – the Department of Children and Families later released the children to a relative.…