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In The Mean Time...

Downers Grove, IL — Donald J. Sullivan, 44, reportedly called police from the scene of a traffic accident requesting an officer to prevent him from ‘shooting someone.’ In response to that call, police say he now faces a felony weapons charge.

According to the police report, Sullivan was driving in Downers Grove in a Chevy Silverado when, while stopped at a traffic light, he yelled at the motorist stopped alongside him in a Jeep Cherokee. Nobody still appears to know why Sullivan was upset. The driver of the Jeep got out to confront Sullivan, police said, and Sullivan responded by inserting a clip into a semi-automatic handgun and pointing the weapon at both the driver and a passenger in the Jeep.

After ‘exchanging words,’ the Jeep driver returned to his vehicle and both automobiles continued to drive in the same direction after the light had turned green.

The Jeep driver attempted to write down Sullivan’s license plate and call 911. In response, Sullivan reportedly swerved into the Jeep, hitting the vehicle’s right rear corner with the front of his pickup truck before the two vehicles came to an abrupt stop.…

Glendale, CA — A 63-year-old man was hospitalized early this week after police say he stuck a butter knife in his stomach in an apparent effort to remove a protruding hernia.

The man’s wife called police and paramedics Monday evening to report her husband was sick and tired of waiting to get surgery for the rupture and decided to take matters into his own hands.

When police arrived on scene, they found the unidentified man lying butt-nekkid on a lounge chair on his patio, the handle of a 6-inch butter knife protruding from his abdomen.

While waiting for paramedics to arrive, police say the man yanked the knife out of his stomach, plucked a cigarette from his mouth and stuck it inside the open wound. He apparently showed no outward signs of pain. And, with that, he was placed on a 72-hour psychiatric hold and transported to the hospital.

And now, a public service announcement from Dr. Sam Carvajal, a surgeon at Glendale Adventist Medical Center:

“It is absolutely impossible for someone to fix their own hernia.”

Carvajal went on to say that most hernia patients don’t suffer from pain severe enough to lead to self-surgery, leaving him to conclude the patient was suffering from some amount of psychosis.…

Portsmouth, N.H. — This one is a few days old, but screw it…it’s good. David Cross, 42, is looking at possible prison time after he took a van his wife had purchased the day before, and rammed six vehicles at the car lot it came from.

Cross was feeling like toasted shit after his wife purchased a van from Portsmouth Used Car Superstore. They had taken the van to a mechanic two hours after buying it and learned the odometer was broken and that it had been involved in a wreck. To top things off, their insurance company informed them they could not insure it because of the broken odometer.

So the following day, and under the advice of his mechanic, Cross took the van back to the car lot and tried to return it. No dice. The salesmen told Cross he was stuck with the van and there was nothing they would do to help him.

Feeling pissed and cheated, the unemployed father of three went home and stewed on the situation.…

PLAINVIEW, N.Y. — A mother in has been charged with manslaughter in the death of her 8-year-old, disabled daughter. Police say she killed her daughter — in a way that I’m pretty sure we’ve never reported on before — before trying to kill herself.

Just hours before she was supposed to participate in her cousin’s wedding as a flower girl, Julie Cirella was found lying dead beside her unconscious mother, 30-year-old Veronica Cirella.

The mother and daughter were found in the basement of the home they shared, Julie laying dead on a mattress with Cirella laying beside her unconscious and a cord wrapped around her neck.

Cirella was taken to the Nassau University Medical Center and charged with manslaughter. Prosecutor say she purposely fed her daughter food she was allergic to then withheld her allergy medicine as she suffered an attack. Julie died from her throat closing as she went into anaphylactic shock

Victoria then tried to kill herself, but was less successful. They also claim Cirella left a note that said detailed her intentions to kill her daughter, who suffers from cerebral palsy, and that she “should die.” The girl’s father is currently in jail after violating an order of protection taken out by Veronica.…

Ukiah, CA – Clarence Christmas, 39, was arrested after police reportedly found him in the corner of a Curves Fitness Center, nude from the waist down, and masturbating.

Police were responding to a call from a Curves employee expressing how much they had not liked Christmas showing up unannounced and fapping his junk for all to see.

The Curves employee had originally told Christmas to leave or she would call police, but instead he grabbed her by the shoulder, police said.  According to police, Christmas ‘grabbed her buttocks’ when she turned away to get a phone to call police. He also is accused of touching a Curves patron while masturbating, police said.

You may be surprised to learn that this is not Chistimas’ first offense.  Christmas had been arrested in May 2010 when he was found without pants or underwear masturbating while watching a California Department of Corrections crew eradicating weeds and brush along the railroad tracks in Ukiah, police said.

For that incident, he was arrested for indecent exposure, possession of a methamphetamine smoking pipe and parole violation. …

Marietta, GA – After losing her son to a hit-and-run driver, 30-year-old Raquel Nelson faces a possible three years behind bars for jaywalking the boy to his death.

Nelson was convicted earlier this month on charges of vehicular homicide, failure to use a crosswalk and reckless conduct — each of the three misdemeanors carrying a max of one year in prison.

Nelson, her two daughters and her 4 year-old son A.J. had just returned via bus from a shopping trip. They had already crossed two lanes of traffic and were standing on the median when 4-year-old  A.J. apparently ran into traffic and was struck by 47 year-old Jerry Guy, who left the scene.

Guy is reported to have consumed alcohol and was on painkillers at the time of the accident. Oh… and he claims to be half-blind in one eye. Guy took a plea and only served 6 months for hit-and-run and is on a 5 year probation. He’s also no stranger to this charge having served time once before after being convicted for two hit and runs back in 1999, one of them on the same road where A.J.…

Woman Accused Of Biting Off Man’s Eyebrow

July 26, 2011 at 5:03 am by  

STOCKTON, Calif. — We have had a lot of stories about people biting things off of other people here at D’D. Multiple stories of people biting off penises, tongues, ears, eyeballs, tits, cheeks, noses, nipples, lips..we have over 50 stories in the biting category alone. But today I think we have a new one. A California woman has been accused of biting off a man’s eyebrow.

Raymond Luna said he was trying to help his 16-year-old daughter who was being tagged teamed by a mother and her 20-year-old daughter in the parking lot of the apartments where they live.

That’s when Luna says the woman’s daughter jumped on him and bit off his eyebrow. “She jumped [on me],” he said. “She bit down on me. She actually hugged me and bit down, spit it out.”

Luna says they were unable to find the missing flesh (in the  video he informs the news crew they may be walking on it) and he will need reconstructive surgery because doctors couldn’t sew up the wound.…

Flint, MI — Police in Michigan sure would like to find the young man busted as he peered under the stalls at a Macy’s to catch a glimpse at two teen girls trying on prom dresses.

I’d like to thank him for one of the funniest pictures I’ve seen this week.

The two girls were in a Macy’s dressing room back in June trying on prom dresses and taking pictures of themselves. (*unzips pants*)

Later, when the two 14-year-olds (*zips pants back up*) were checking out the pictures they had taken, they realized they had captured a man watching the pair from underneath the stall doors.

“Our jaw dropped when we saw that someone was looking in on us,” said one of the teens. The two girls were dressed in the particular picture that captured the Peeping Tom, but obviously they weren’t always that way while inside the dressing room and that frightens both the girls and angers their parents.

“It makes me furious what he’s doing! He needs to be caught,” said one of the girls’ father who reported the incident to Macy’s and turned the photo over to to the police.…

Canton, OH — Judging by the almost 500,00 views of this following Youtube video, a lot of you have already heard about the incident in Canton, Ohio involving a cop going berserk on a man lawfully carrying a concealed weapon.

But for those of you unaware, a police cruiser’s dashcam was rolling as two police officers pull up behind a parked car containing a man in the backseat, a woman outside of the car and 52-year-old William Bartlett (pictured), who had a license to carry a concealed weapon.

Things start off badly with the cop in charge immediately identifying himself as one of those cops who loathes the people he swore to protect. But before I go any further, know that I do not hate cops. Not all of them, anyway. Most can tell you that I am a cop sympathizer. I take a lot of flack from Athena because I occasionally make excuses for cops involved in chases or scuffles that end with someone dead or Tased or homeowners who have their pets killed after a SWAT team bursts into the wrong home.…

Melbourne, FL — Joseph Sikes, 19, is reported to have armed himself with a pair of brass knuckles and pedaled his bicycle to a Melbourne, Florida Best Bagels to rob it. Unfortunately for him, the female clerk had a pair of brass balls. Brass balls beat brass knuckes every time.

Police said Sikes walked into the bagel shop at about 7AM and told the clerk: “Let’s make this calm. If you don’t keep it calm, then we are going to have a real problem.”

As he reached into his waistband to imply he had a weapon, the clerk, Karen Roberts, reportedly replied, “You’re right. We are going to have a real problem.” She then reached over and picked up the phone and dialed 911.

According to the report, Sikes immediately ran from the shop and fled on his bicycle. He later abandoned the bicycle to cross a canal. He was then caught. Police say Sikes was carrying brass knuckles when he was apprehended.

Sikes is on probation for a prior burglary charge.…

Seminole, FL – Investigators said Joseph P. Williamson, 31, found the gas lid open on his girlfriend’s 1997 Saturn which was parked outside their home. He reportedly became concerned the vehicle had been tampered with and decided to check the gas tank for sugar.  Luckily a leaf blower was available to accelerate the task.

Witnesses said Williamson was attempting to siphon gas with an electric leaf blower when a spark from the blower ignited the fire, the investigator’s report said.

Williamson suffered serious burns to his arms and had to be taken to Tampa General Hospital.  He remained hospitalized at last report.  The car suffered serious burns, as well.

Media outlets have reported that the suspected fuel tampering may have been due to an ‘ongoing rivalry between tree trimming businesses.’  Apparently, while competing organized crime bosses are contracting hits on each other’s soldiers while battling for mob family control of prostitution, illegal gambling, and the distribution of stolen goods, the “war of the trees” is being fought with sugar in the gas tank of girlfriends’ Saturns.…

Raleigh, NC — Police have arrested a man and his wife after a woman who went missing in North Carolina was found dismembered in a Texas creek.

Laura Ackerson was last scene on July 13 dropping her two young boy off at their father’s Raleigh apartment. She was to pick them up two days later but her ex, 32-year-old Grant Hayes, says she never showed up at the planned meeting spot. The following day a co-worker of Ackerson’s reported her missing when she did not show up for work.

Police would find her vehicle a a few days later, parked near where Hayes currently resides, at an apartment complex she, Hayes and their kids used to live a year earlier. She and Hayes have been involved in a year long custody battle regarding their two boys.

Hayes seen practicing his new hit, "It Ain't Gay (If It's In Prison)"

In June, a judge granted Hayes temporary custody of the two boys because Ackerson was unemployed at that time and living with Hayes’ parents.…

MONROE COUNTY, GA — A man has been charged in a case of animal abuse that Monroe County Sheriff John Cary Bittick says is the worst he’s seen in his 29 years as sheriff.

No one is sure how the mixed-breed puppy got the pound, but while there, someone noticed the malnourished dog with a very severe neck injury. To be more specific, the dog had been nearly decapitated.

You can see a pic of the dog’s injury by clicking here, but be warned, it is disturbing and like looking at an M.C Escher drawing, you’re brain will have trouble processing it at first.

The dog was taken to the Caldwell Veterinary Hospital and had emergency surgery performed to repair its severed trachea and other life-threatening injuries. “Most of the musculature up here was severed, the trachea was severed. Fortunately, the major arteries were not severed or the esophagus,” said Dr. Butler Caldwell, who performed the surgery and will oversee her recovery.

When an animal advocacy group found out about the dog’s injuries they contacted the police who, after seeing pictures of the dog’s injuries, were more than happy to find the person responsible.…

Alaska –– While I don’t know how I will die, I do know ways I won’t. Stories like the following are why I know I will never be mauled to a death by a grizzly while camping in Alaska.

Seven teens, ages 16 to 18, were on day 24 of a 30-day backpacking course in the Talkeetna mountains when they met a grizzly and her cub and well, things didn’t go so good. The group were participating in a National Outdoor Leadership School course that teaches students to be outdoor leaders with the experience and background to survive in the back country, with the ability to take others out into the Alaskan wilderness upon graduation.

Part of that training includes how to alert local wildlife, including bears, of their presence to give animals a chance to flee. The students said they did this as they crossed a river and came face-to-face with the bear and her cub, but this bear wasn’t going anywhere without taking a few faces with it. …

ST. PAUL, MN — Police have charged a man with first-degree assault after they see he sprayed his girlfriend’s 19-year-old son with lighter fluid and then set him on fire.

According to court documents, at around 3 a.m., 54-year-old Curtis Reed got into an altercation with his girlfriend of eight years. He was angry that she wouldn’t let him have any alcohol so he threw a frozen chicken at her before going after her with a frying pan and a knife. Luckily, Antoine Willis, the woman’s teen son, was able to wrestle Reed to the ground and hold him there while two of his friends punched Reed.

After being let up, Reed reportedly walked around the house informing everyone that they better not fall asleep. So the mom, her son and his girlfriend all tried staying awake by playing  video games, but around 5 a.m. they all fell asleep.

A couple hours later, Willis woke up to the smell of something cooking and realized pretty quickly that it was his head.…

Plantation, FL — Rhonda Hollander, 47, a female traffic judge from Florida has been accused of following a man into a courthouse bathroom and photographing him with her cellphone while he was taking care of business at a urinal.

According to the arrest report, a man named Willie Jackson Jr. was preparing to use a urinal in the courthouse bathroom when Hollander allegedly photographed him. Police say she then snapped a keepsake of another man as he entered the bathroom. When Broward Sheriff’s Deputy Darlene Harden approached and questioned Hollander shortly after, Hollander admitted taking a picture of Willie but refused to turn over her phone. Her point, reportedly, was that it was a public restroom and, hence, she was not violating any laws by taking a picture of Jackson’s private – errr… I mean public – parts. Brilliant defense, counselor.

The arrest report went on to describe Deputy Harden then escorting both Hollander and Jackson to an office in the courthouse. Hollander continued to take pictures during this time. Understandably annoyed, Deputy Harden pointed her finger at Hollander and ordered her to stop.…

Amy Winehouse Found Dead

July 23, 2011 at 1:57 pm by  

London — News reports are confirming that 27-year-old singer Amy Winheouse was found dead in her London home this afternoon.

Police said they found her body at her flat in Camden Square, north London, after being called by ambulance services.  Metropolitan police are treating the death as unexplained.

Winehouse has a pretty long history detailing her battles with drugs and alcohol, remaining cannon fodder for the tabloids for a pretty good run until Lindsay Lohan showed up. But her devoted fans had hoped for a comeback when Winehouse started her Back to Black tour after spending a week in rehab. Not surprisingly, it didn’t take.

She was booed off the stage after showing up in Belgrade, stumbling around on stage, mumbling and forgetting the lyrics to her own songs.

Shortly after that disastrous performance, Winehouse cancelled her remaining tour dates while her management released a statement that read: “Amy Winehouse is withdrawing from all scheduled performances. Everyone involved wishes to do everything they can to help her return to her best and she will be given as long as it takes for this to happen.”

I’ll update this as more details become available.…

Bridgeport, CT — Juliette Dunn, 29, was arrested last month after witnesses at a local park flagged down a couple of officers to complain that a mother was forcing alcohol on her children at the playground.

Dunn and her companion, 33-year-old Lisa Jefferson, were spotted sitting in the grass near the playground with two young children next to them. As officers approached the gruesome twosome, they noticed an empty 40-ounce bottle of Steel Reserve beer on the ground beside Dunn’s 4-year-old son. A baby bottle laying next to Dunn’s 10-month-old daughter contained a dark liquid that smelled like booze.

Witnesses reportedly told police they watched as Dunn handed the 40 to her son and demanded that he chug-a-lug. Afterwards, witnesses said, she called the boy an alcoholic.

The children were taken to the hospital where it was determined they both had alcohol in their system. While being examined, the 4-year-old reportedly told a social worker he “likes Natural Ice beer and Budweiser, but doesn’t like the taste of Dog Bite.” The infant also tested positive for cocaine.…