In The Mean Time...
Saskatoon, Canada — A couple of 20-year-old men are facing charges after an argument over diced onions led to the tossing of a snake at a Saskatoon Tim Hortons. Seriously, have you ever been sooooo mad…. ?
The unidentified men were apparently displeased about the shape of the onions on their breakfast order and an argument ensued. It quickly escalated, as arguments over food often do, and at that point, police say, one of the men did a reach around, stuck his hand into his partner’s pocket and removed a snake. No, not a trouser snake — a garter snake. Because who doesn’t have one of those just hanging around in their pocket? Trouser snake would have made for an interesting story, though….
Anyway, the man threw the snake over the counter and in the general direction of the employees.
There were no reported injuries, and it is unclear as to how many people in the restaurant shit their pants in fear, but it did create a bit of chaos as employees ran screaming from the establishment.…
Easton, PA — Authorities have reason to believe this freak, 53-year-old Gregory Graf, shot and killed his stepdaughter just so he could have sex with her corpse. What? Like you’ve never wanted anyone that bad….
Jessica Padgett, 33, was last seen alive on November 21, leaving her job as a child care provider at a Northampton day care center. Five days and several inconsistent stories later, Graf was charged with her murder.
Graf was taken into custody on November 26, after Padgett’s body was found buried behind a shed on his property. Authorities have stated she was shot in the back of the head.
Police found video footage of Graf violating the woman’s corpse on two separate cameras that had been seized. An additional recording was found on Graf’s computer.
Graf reportedly confessed to killing Padgett, a recently married mother of three, and police have no reason to believe the two were involved in any sort of sexual relationship before her death. Police believe Padgett was dead less than an hour after she disappeared.…
SALINA, KS – A judge sentenced 33-year-old Brooke Dinkel to 13 years in jail after the former middle school counselor was convicted of having sex with a 13-year-old student.
Dinkel was a school counselor at Smoky Valley Middle School Counselor where the victim, a relative of a close family friend, was a student. He was later hired to do some work inside her home and this is where the sexual encounters between the two occurred.
Police where tipped off to the relationship after Dinkel shard intimate details of her sexual encounters with colleagues and friends. She was arrested and face a slew of charges, including 8 other counts of rape and 10 counts of aggravated criminal sodomy.
During her trial in June, she told the court that the 13-year-old had raped her, but the sexual encounters continued because she said the boy was blackmailing her. As you can imagine, that defense didn’t go over to well with the jury.
They ended up finding her guilty of two counts of rape.…
CHICAGO, IL – A Hyatt hotel hosting the Midwest Furfest Convention had to be evacuated early Sunday after an “intentional” chlorine gas incident sent 19 people to the hospital.
According to Furfest organizers, at around 12:45 AM on Sunday, the Hyatt Regency O’Hare received a complaint of a chemical odor spreading across the ninth floor.
First responders would find powdered chlorine in a ninth floor stairwell and the manner in which the gas was dispersed “suggests an intentional act,” according to police.
The entire hotel had to be evacuated, which included a large number of furries standing outside in their costumes. Because the incident was being investigated as a criminal act, it was several hours before hotel guests were allowed back into their rooms.
According to Rosemont Public Safety, nineteen people were transported to local hospitals suffering from nausea and dizziness. Some of these people have already been treated and released.
The convention would go on as scheduled, including CompuFur: A Furry Hackathon, the two hour Fursuit Dance Competition and Improv Puppet Do’s and Dont’s.…
According to police, the Mrs. woke Hill at about 1:00 that afternoon, McChicken in hand. When Hill opened his eyes and gazed upon her offering, he apparently flipped his shit. Why? Because he doesn’t like McChicken sandwiches. *insert hysterical sobbing noises here*
Police say Hill tossed the sammich at the woman, then picked up the bun from the floor and smashed it into her face.
When the woman retreated to the restroom to clean up, Hill followed and began recording her every move with his cellphone, apparently hoping the woman would lose her shit and appear as the aggressor in the fight.
When police arrived on scene, Hill’s whole “she started it” bullshit fell flat. The cellphone video showed very little — just an injured woman knocking the cellphone out of her douchebag husband’s hand. The woman was sporting a red and swollen nose, and was found with mayo on her face and clothing.…
ROCHESTER, NY – Police have charged 28-year-old Alicia Gould with attempted murder after they say she tried killing her boyfriend by throwing a plugged-in radio alarm clock into the bathtub he was bathing in.
Police were called to a Super 8 Motel early Friday morning where they found Gould and her boyfriend having a domestic disturbance. According to Webster Police Chief Gerald Pickering, the pair had gotten into an argument that Gould tried ending with an alarm clock.
While her boyfriend was taking a bath, Gould reportedly tossed a plugged-in alarm clock in the water in an attempt to electrocute him. Fortunately for him, the room’s ground fault interrupter went off and stopped the electrical current from making its way through the water.
Pickering said that there will probably be some circumstances surrounding her actions that may be used in her defense, but that under New York State Law, Gould had to be arrested on the spot and taken into custody.
Gould is now looking at second degree attempted murder charges and is being held in the Monroe County Jail on $20,000 cash bail.…
On Monday, a 13-year-old boy came home to find his mother, 37-year-old Roseanne Welsh, dead inside the home. The boy called police who arrived to find Welsh was the victim of foul play and that her 10-year-old daughter, along with her vehicle, were both missing.
While investigators were still on the scene, the girl walked up to an officer on the street near her home. She told police that Davidson was a friend of her father and that there was an incident between him and her mother inside the home.
“She was abducted from the scene and taken to different locations for a brief period of time, at which time she was again brought back somewhere in the general vicinity and dropped off, at which point she saw the sheriff’s deputies, approached the vehicles and contacted us,” said Lt. Wayne McKinney.
GONZALES, LA — For reasons unknown, 46-year-old Chad Babin allegedly tried to kidnap a random woman from her driveway only to get his ass kicked by the woman’s husband and son.
According to reports, Babin pulled up to a driveway where a woman was unloading her car. Babin started yelling at the woman, then got out of his vehicle and grabbed her while stating “she was coming with him.”
The woman wasn’t having that, and began yelling for help. While struggling with Babin, the woman was able to open the door of her house and both of them fell into the home. That’s when her husband and son jumped into action.
Her husband was able to use a gun to pistol-whip Babin in the face while her son and two other family members held him down until police arrived. They would find Babin lying on his stomach inside the home, being held at gunpoint by the woman’s family.
After being taken to the hospital to have his face fixes, Babin was placed in the Ascension Parish Jail on charges of simple battery, simple criminal damage to property, home invasion, and simple kidnapping.…
STPETERSBURG, FL – Police have charged 30-year-old Ramona Braswell with felony child abuse after they say she used a stun gun on a 3-year-old boy.
Last weekend, police were called to a a home where a woman said her 3-year-old son was shocked in the arm with a stun gun by Braswell, who also lived in the home.
She told police that she heard her son cry out from another room in the house and found a laughing Braswell standing near him while activating a stun gun. Braswell told the mother she did not touch the boy with it, but marks on the boy’s arm told a different story.
Braswell told police she was only playing with the stun gun and never shocked the boy, but did admit to placing the stun gun’s handle on the boy’s arm.
Police concluded Braswell “intentionally touched (the) 3-year-old in the arm with an electric (stun gun) causing visible injuries” and charged her with one count of felony child abuse. She has since been released from jail after posting $5,000 bond.…
Jacklyn Blake was apparently sleeping off a few drinks when the boyfriend took it upon himself to dish up. When Blake came to, police say, she went all kinds of batshit crazy — because that’s what holidays and cooking and breathing does to women.
Blake apparently chased the man around the living room with a knife, then stabbed him once in the chest. She then threw the knife at the guy, hitting him just below the eye.
The boyfriend was hospitalized with non-life threatening injuries. We can only hope he learned a lesson from all this… just sit in your chair, watch your game, shut the fuck up, and don’t. touch. anything.
Blake was carted off to the pokey, and has been charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, simple assault, reckless endangerment and making terroristic threats.
Some people live for Black Friday sales the day after Thanksgiving, I live for the stabs.…
RACINE, WI – On Tuesday, a judge sentenced 25-year-old Jessica Bell to seven years in prison after being found guilty of making child porn that starred herself and her 2-year-old son.
Bell was arrested back in 2013 after her then boyfriend contacted police to report he’d found some videos on Bell’s computer that showed her making her young son perform sex acts on her.
One video was recorded on a cellphone in the shower, while the other was recorded through a laptop camera and featured Bell on a bed watching a pornographic movie. Both videos were recorded in 2012 while Bell was living with her half-brother, Justin Surber.
Bell’s boyfriend also found hundreds of emails between Bell and Surber that made it apparent that Bell and her half-brother had been in a sexual relationship and even discussed Bell sexually abusing her young son.
When questioned, Bell said she only did those things with her son because her brother forced her to do so, even though he was never present when any of the abuse took place.…
Last Tuesday, police responded to a call of an unresponsive baby at the home of Rodriguez-Gonzalez that he shared with his girlfriend, Raymond, and his girlfriend’s two other children.
Rodriguez-Gonzalez was at home watching the children while their mother, Amy Elliot, was at work. She said that on her lunch break she called home and argued with Rodriguez-Gonzalez of his caring for Raymond.
He told her that Raymond had fallen earlier but was in bed asleep. While still on the phone with Elliot, Rodriguez-Gonzalez went to check on Raymond and found him unresponsive. Elliot told him to call 911.
Raymond was rushed to University Medical Center. Rodriguez-Gonzalez told Elliot he would take the other two children to a friend’s house and would meet her at the hospital. Rodriguez-Gonzalez never showed up.
Raymond would end up dying from some serious injuries at the hospital, including bruises to his face and hip, scrapes on the back of his head, a previous rib fracture, and a lacerated liver.…
MEMPHIS, TN – Brian Jones is facing child trafficking charges after a father attacked him with a baseball bat for allegedly pimping out his 12-year-old daughter.
According to police, the girl was being forced into prostitution by 33-year-old Brian Jones, and the girl’s father learned she was at Jones’ apartment.
Armed with a baseball bat, the father confronted Jones and the two got into a struggle because Jones reportedly wouldn’t let the girl go.
Eventually Jones called police himself, reporting that someone was trying to lock him inside a van.
Before responding officers got to the apartments, they were flagged down by the girl’s father who told them Jones was pimping out his daughter and forced her to have sex with several men inside his apartment.
When questioned, Jones admitted he’d allowed someone to bring the girl to his apartment and was aware she was having sex in one of his bedrooms.
Jones was arrested and charged with rape of a child and trafficking. He is being held on a $200,000 bond.…
INDIANAPOLIS, IN — A 9-year-old girl was arrested and charged with battery after her mother called police to report her punching her younger sister.
The mother contacted police over the weekend to report that “her 9-year-old daughter punched her 6-year-old sister in the head” and that she’d recorded the incident on her cell phone.
After the responding officer reviewed the video, he made the decision to arrest the girl on battery charges. The 9-year-old was handcuffed and taken to the Marion County Juvenile Center.
While some may feel the decision to arrest a girl this young is unusual, Rafael Diaz from the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department said that it’s quite common.
“It happens. It seems like we spend a lot of our time dealing with juvenile issues,” Diaz said.
No way in hell I would call the cops on my kid for hitting a sibling. I’m a good parent and learned a solid kick to the ass will stop almost any child’s unruly behavior. Besides, hiding all the guns and drug paraphernalia would be too much of a hassle.…
PINELLAS PARK, FL — A moron accidentally killed himself after threatening to shoot the family dog and then somehow managed to shoot himself in the face.
According to Pinellas Park police, 57-year-old Dennis Emery became angry with his wife when he could not locate his lighter. During this argument Emery picked up a revolver, pointed it at the family dog and threatened to shoot it.
I’ll let Pinellas Park Police Spokesman Sgt. Adam Geissenberger explain what happened next.
“At some point, Emery started to release the hammer back to a safe position. He pointed the gun at his face while he was lowering the hammer and the firearm discharged, striking him in the face,” said Geissenberger.
Officers arrived at the scene after a 17-year-old inside the home called 911. Police said they got conflicting reports of whether Emery shot himself on purpose or not, but at this point the death is being ruled accidental and no charges are expected to be filed.
On purpose or not, this guy was an ongoing train wreck.…
TULSA, OK — Tulsa police say 26-year-old Christa Engles died after she was accidentally shot in the head by her 3-year-old son.
Engles was home Monday afternoon with her one-year-old and three-year-old children. According to Homicide Sergeant Dave Walker, Engles was changing the baby’s diaper when her toddler somehow gained access to a loaded, semi-automatic handgun and fired the fatal shot.
According to a neighbor, the children’s grandmother came in to the room and found Engles wounded and the two children covered in her blood. Engles was rushed to the hospital but would die from her injuries.
The boy reportedly repeated “Mommy shot” over and over again as he was taken away from the home to be interviewed by child specialists. The boy would admit to them that he’d found the gun under the couch before firing the fatal shot.
Police confirmed that they found several guns inside the home. Engles’ husband is a truck driver who was on the road at the time of the shooting.
“I lost my Wife to an accident yesterday,” he posted on Facebook.…
ORLANDO, FL – Police have arrested 58-year-old Phuc Kieu after they say he allegedly robbed a man before trying to rape him.
According to the reports, a man had just withdrawn $220 from a walk-up ATM and was walking past a Honda Civic parked nearby. Inside that vehicle was Kieu, who had been watching gay porn on a portable DVD player.
As the man got close to the driver side of Kieu’s car, Kieu allegedly jumped out and grabbed the victim, punched him in the mouth then grabbed the victim’s money.
He then pulled the victim into the driver’s seat and straddled him while pulling off the victim’s shirt, belt and pants. The man said he was able to wrestle himself from Kieu’s clutches and ran to a nearby shopping center yelling “Rapist!”
The victim was able to track down a police officer and Kieu, a licensed nail specialist, was apprehended and booked into the Alachua County jail on charges of sexual assault, kidnapping and robbery without a weapon. He is currently being held on a $150,000 bond.…
MEXICO – Mario Alberto Lizalde Reyes has been accused of fatally shooting his best friend before chopping off the man’s penis and feeding it to his dog.
The 26-year-old told police that he and and his lifelong friend, 24-year-old Mario Hernandez Banda, 24, were drinking when they got into an argument over Banda allegedly trying to touch Reyes “in a sexual way”.
‘After pushing him off, he went to urinate in an alley so I followed him, pulled out my gun and shot him in the head,” said Reyes. “I then took his knife off him and chopped off his penis as punishment and put it in a bag.”
No word on what Reyes planned to do with his brand new dick in a bag, but he said when his dog would not stop sniffing at the bag, he got an idea.
“I decided to give it to him and he ate it,” said Reyes.
Reyes left the body of his friend in an alley, finished walking his dog, and then went home.…