In The Mean Time...
According to police, Oliver Funez called police Monday after he attacked his mother, 35-year-old Yesenia Funez Beatriz Machado.
When police arrived at the home, they witnessed
Michael Myers Funez walking outside holding his mother’s head in one hand, and a large butcher knife in the other.
Funez was taken into custody without incident and has since been charged with first-degree murder. Officials say a motive behind the attack is still unclear.
Police also found two young children in the home, who were present when the attack occurred. Another child was at school at the time of the attack.
All three children are now with their father, who showed up at the scene that afternoon and was overcome with grief.
“It’s a terrible situation for the family, a terrible situation for the neighborhood and this county. I’m just glad things worked out the way they did and no one else was hurt in taking the suspect into custody,” Sheriff Kent Winstead said.…
A homeowner on Chapman’s route grew suspicious about the amount of time Chapman spent on his property, delivering a package last month.
The resident apparently has a security system in place that sends a notification to his smartphone whenever someone comes on his property. Giggity.
The man was contemplating calling the post office to request that Chapman no longer deliver packages to his home, when he decided to see what dude was up to for so long in the garage.
Imagine his surprise when he saw the surveillance footage.
According to the arrest report, Chapman was recorded entering the garage at about 1:30 on the afternoon of February 6. He then placed a package on the ground and proceeded to “engage in a sexual act” with the homeowner’s dog, which was just kinda hanging around in the garage.
Chapman, 21, has been charged with burglary, a felony, and bestiality, a misdemeanor.…
Richard Matte told police he just wanted to scare his son by shooting into a wall.
Zak Matte reportedly told police his father entered his bedroom while he was injecting heroin into his right arm. Richard asked Zak if any money he had recently given to him had been used to buy heroin. Zak replied that it hadn’t — it was used to buy pot.
Zak claims his father asked him to turn and look at a hole in the wall. He then shot him.
“I shot my son in the arm on accident,” Richard told a 911 dispatcher. At some point in the conversation with the dispatcher, Richard expressed his frustration with his son’s drug use and said he just snapped. “I just got pushed to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore.”
Richard was charged with one count of reckless endangerment and remains free on $15,000 bail.…
The woman reportedly told police she was looking out her window Wednesday, and just happened to see Estala pissing on the chain link fence. So she did what any normal person would do in such a situation…. she started filming. Weirdo.
When Estala noticed she was recording him with her phone, he worked that shit.
The woman told police Estala stuck his mouth on the fence and began tonguing it before he began “having sex with it.” Foreplay first. Good man!
The woman showed officers several videos and still pics of the alleged act. And I can only imagine how hard she was fretting to have witnessed such a vile and o-fence-ive act. I can just hear her screaming at her husband now…. “Abner! Abner! Come quick! The neighbor! He’s gyrating wildy against our fence. And he’s *gasp* unclothed!!” (Props to Gladys Kravitz from Bewitched).…
Martha Williams and her twin sister, Jean Haley, had returned to Haley’s home Friday night after having dinner with their 89-year-old sister.
Investigators say that as Williams was leaving Haley’s home, she fell in the driveway near the rear of her car. Haley saw what happened and went to go inside her home and call for help, but fell inside her garage.
“At this time investigators believe that foul play was not involved and Ms. Williams may have fallen in the driveway walking to her car. Ms. Haley may have tripped on a rug on the floor of the garage as she attempted to enter her house to call for assistance,” Barrington Police Chief John LaCross said in a statement.
Both women remained where they fell, enduring overnight temperatures that dropped to as low as 11 degrees, with wind chills as low as minus 8. They were not found until the next morning when a neighbor found them and called 911.…
The incident happened on Friday while the family of Richie Zaragoza were celebrating the boy’s 10th birthday at the Star Buffet & Grill.
The apple juice that had been ordered for the boy and his 4-year-old half-sister, Ginaya Mendoza, were waiting on the table when the family got back from getting food at the buffet.
Ginaya took a sip from her cup and began throwing up and complaining her stomach hurt. The girl’s mother first thought her daughter had simply gotten sick, but then her son began screaming “it burns” and throwing up blood.
Both children were taken to Lancaster General Hospital with severe burns of the mouth and throat. They were then flown to Hershey Medical Center where they remained in intensive care Saturday afternoon.
Because Richie suffers from cystic fibrosis and diabetes, he has a gastronomy tube in his stomach and a port in his arm for IV medications and will be sedated for several days.…
Allegheny County, PA — A woman who was arrested after her two young sons overdosed on prescription medication at school apparently told police she “didn’t want the kids anyway.”
Samantha Brown is facing multiple charges in connection with the alleged incident.
Authorities claim the 27-year-old woman gave her two sons, ages 8 and 9, Klonopin before sending them off to school Wednesday morning.
The younger boy was later found unresponsive on the floor, foaming at the mouth in a puddle of vomit. The older boy was found dazed and foaming at the mouth.
Both were treated UPMC’s Children’s Hospital. No word on their condition.
The boys told investigators their mother made them take the pills, and Brown had the pills on her when police questioned her.
She’s been ordered held on $50,000 bail.…
And if that isn’t disturbing enough, the body was only discovered because the man’s landlord entered the home to find out why the rent hadn’t been paid in six months.
This information was revealed by a member of a cleaning service that had been hired to discreetly remove 6 tons of jizz mags in a way that would not be noticed by neighbors or the man’s family, to save them from shame. Welp, so much for discretion….
It is unclear if the man, identified only as a 50-year-old former auto worker named Joji, suffered a heart attack and brought the magazines down with him as he fell, or if they just fell on him, smothering him to death. All I can think of at this point is paper cuts. Lots and lots of paper cuts.
Every available space in the apartment was filled with magazines, the cleaner claims, and they were stacked on tables and shelves, as well.…
The child’s mother, Tiana Langer, claims a strange man approached her and her child in the store and started talking all cute with the kid.
“He said, ‘How did you get that cutie?’ and I just thought he was being friendly,” Langer said.
He then apparently grabbed the kid’s arm and started rubbing it, saying she could “go home with him.” At this point, mom’s getting a little freaked.
She told him, “No, we don’t go to strangers and we don’t talk to them.” To which he responded, “I’m not a stranger. I’m just a friend she hasn’t been with yet.”
He apparently started tugging on the kid’s arm, but mom tugged back and both managed to safely retreat.
According to police, surveillance video later showed the man, identified as Eric Richardson, holding another child near the entrance of the store, but it didn’t appear as if that child’s mother was worried.…
Police were called to the Beaver’s home last week after receiving a report about domestic assault between George and his wife, Michelle.
When officers arrived on scene, Michelle reported that George was sitting in the living room watching television and that she just happened to pick up a bag of Utz Sour Cream and Onion rippled potato chips that had been sitting on the coffee table.
George apparently said something like, “leave the fucking chips alone.” (Could have been “goddamn chips”, too. Not positive which cuss word was used, so I’ll use my favorite).
Michelle did not leave the fucking chips alone. This angered the Beaver.
George reportedly grabbed Michelle by the face and bit her left cheek, just below the eye, tearing off a piece of skin and causing her to bleed.
George fled the home before officers arrived, prompting them to obtain a warrant for his arrest.…
Tarentum, PA — Police allege Teresa Drum, 38, shot and killed her husband after arguing about a casserole she’d burned, then snapped a quick pic of the body and texted it to a friend, before taking a quicky shower and calling 911.
When police and paramedics arrived at the couple’s home late Monday night, Teresa apparently attempted to convince them her husband, 42-year-old Dennis Drum Sr., killed himself.
Teresa claimed the two had argued over the charred casserole, and the fact that she had sucked down his last beer, and he just put a bullet in his head all on his own. She told police he did this as she was calling 911.
She showed police a picture of the body. She took the pic and texted it to a friend, she explained, because she didn’t know what to do. The friend apparently told her to call 911.
Heh. A good friend would have been over 15 minutes later with a shovel and a bottle of wine. Or a dead hooker.…
If you guessed ‘crimes against nature’, you probably just peeked at the title. You win nothing.
Police received a tip last week that Cabrera was having sexy time with a dog, presumably at the shelter, and someone, somewhere, had the video to prove it.
24-year-old Cabrera was arrested Friday and has since bonded out.
Caddo Parish Public Information Officer Krystle Grindley initially said Monday that Cabrera was placed on administrative leave immediately after the commission was made aware of the arrest, but later revealed that Cabrera had actually been on leave since February 15.
Grindley added that she could not confirm the reason for that leave, and cited personal privacy issues.
Cabrera’s videographer, 41-year-old Booker Talioterro Thomas, a former employee of the shelter, was arrested as well. He’s been charged with principal to crimes against nature.
ETA: According to Cpl. Marcus Hines, a police department spokesman, it does not appear as if Cabrera engaged in coitus with the dog at the shelter.…
The victim’s body was found in a burning garage near Hernandez’s home on January 22. Police have yet to identify her, but describe her as being Hispanic and between 18 and 35 years old. They believe she had brown hair, breast implants and a tattoo on her lower back.
Surveillance video apparently showed a dark truck pulling out of the garage shortly before the building went up in flames.
According to authorities, a witness came forward Thursday and informed investigators that Hernandez admitted to strangling the woman before burning the body in the garage. The witness also said that prior to setting the woman’s body on fire, Hernandez allowed an acquaintance to have sex with the corpse. Not sure if that’s being a good friend? Or a sucky, bad friend….
Anyway, Hernandez admitted that he owned a dark truck, but not the one seen in the surveillance video.…
Somehow, dude survived.
According to police, Flores called 911 Saturday night to report her boyfriend had been shot. She initially told police her boyfriend informed her that he had been shot and asked her to call for help.
She later changed her story, telling police it was she that shot him because she believed he was cheating on her.
The victim reportedly told police he had fallen asleep sitting up in a chair, and woke to what he thought was the sound of fireworks. Oh, and excruciating pain in his lower extremities.
He had been shot once in the dick, and twice in the scrotum. Plus, there were additional gunshot wounds — neck, upper back, and thigh.
The man told officers he owned three 9-mm guns but said he didn’t think his Flores owned a handgun, let alone know how to use one.…
Green Bay, WI — Jonathan Schrap, 24, was sentenced to three and half years behind bars Friday, for amputating a woman’s pinky finger with a machete last year in some sort of retarded ritual to honor a fellow Juggalo.
I don’t know how Morbid missed this one…..
Back in August of 2016, Schrap and a few other Juggalos held a memorial service of sorts for a friend of theirs that had passed that year.
As part of the “ritual”, 27-year-old Shelby Neuens offered to let Schrap drink her blood. So he slashed her on the right forearm, leaving her “bleeding profusely” from a one-inch laceration.
The group then pondered on the idea of amputating a body part, to show how damn serious they were about this whole memorial thing. Again, Neuens, a true team player, stepped up and offered her pinky.
Took Schrap a couple of swings with a machete before the digit was removed at the palm. Schrap then put the pinky in his freezer, saying he would cook it and eat it later.…
Officers met with Thomasine Bennett at her home Friday afternoon, after receiving a report of a disturbance. Bennett informed the officers her boyfriend, Walter Clark, was in the back.
Bennett, for whatever reason, was quick to mention to police that Clark forced her to smoke the street drug “love boat” the night before. (Love boat, and I’m sure you’ll correct me if I’m wrong, is marijuana laced with PCP or formaldehyde)?
Bennett then led the officers to a hallway closet that had been barricaded with a board. Inside, police say, lay Clark. He was found to be naked, in the fetal position with his hands bound, unconscious, and unresponsive.
Clark died at the hospital, about an hour later.
When questioned, Bennett told police Clark proposed to her on Valentine’s Day. But she was tired of loving him, she said, and sharing him with other women.…
Eric Pritsch was charged with battery following the incident, which was reported earlier this month.
According to the arrest affidavit, Pritsch’s girlfriend, 58-year-old Carol Favuzza, flagged down a deputy on February 7, and asked him to call police, as she had been assaulted. The officer apparently had to inform her he was the police.
Favuzza told the deputy Pritsch punched her in the face because, while they were copulating, she told him, “You’re not a man, you’re a mouse.”
Favuzza went on to say that Pritsch hit her in the back several times with a dildo and some sort of cord. The officer failed to find any marks on the woman’s back, but did notice swelling to her face. He also noticed the woman smelled strongly of alcohol.
Pritsch, also apparently shitfaced, denied striking the woman. According to him, he had been asleep for several hours.…
According to police, Walsh approached a 14-year-old girl in late January and said, “Hey, let me get some of that,” and slapped her on the ass.
The girl’s grandmother reported the incident to police, but deputies were unable to identify the man and closed the case. They did, however, beef up patrols in the area where the alleged ass slapping took place.
This past Friday, Walsh apparently approached an 8-year-old girl waiting at her bus stop and showed her a drawing of a puppy, telling her the dog was lost and he needed her help.
After speaking with parents and other children who got on and off the bus at that particular intersection, investigators learned that Walsh was almost a fixture at that bus stop and has tried talking to numerous children when there were no adults around.…