Woman Who Climbed Mount Everest To Prove Vegans Aren't Weak, Died On Mount EverestMan Killed Woman Before Eating Waffles Then Having Sex With Her CorpseSearch Warrant Reveals Missy Bevers Died From Multiple Puncture Wounds to Head and ChestKidnapping Suspect Named Person Of Interest In Disappearance Of Jessica HeeringaWoman Dies From Serious Internal Injuries While Riding Sundance Zip Line AttractionArgument Over Selfie Led To Good Samaritan's Shooting Death At WalgreensFather Sacrificed Family Dog In Meat Smoker Because Of Daughter's T-shirtGirl, 11, Scalped After Her Hair Gets Caught In Carnival RideTyle Dauzat Arrested After Her 2-Year-Old Ate Her MethTeenage Girl Had Sex With As Many As Two Dozen Boys In School Bathroom

In The Mean Time...

Houston, TX – Stephanie Dillard, 34, allegedly drove her car, containing her three children, aged 5, 12, and 16, into a city bus last Friday.  Instead of staying at the scene, however, she reportedly left the shaken-up children inside the car in the middle of an intersection and walked away. 

The five-year-old had suffered a laceration above his eye, but the other children did not suffer any more serious injuries; at least not physical ones.

Officers responding to the scene of the accident found the children still in the car.  It took a few minutes to track Dillard down, however.  They eventually found her in a nearby CVS drugstore, eating stolen ice cream naked, having taken her clothes off inside the store.  When police happened upon her, she was in the middle of inserting a tampon.  No, I’m just kidding about that last bit.

Dillard did reportedly resist arrest in a convincing manner, though she is currently only facing child endangerment charges, and not resisting arrest, public nudity, or ice cream theft. …

Greece, NY – Karen Klein, 58, a Greece Central School District bus monitor, was verbally abused to appalling lengths by four middle-school students this week while riding the school bus.

This description doesn’t at all capture the brutality with which the kids berated the poor woman.  You can see for yourself in this video, shot by a student on a cell phone.  It was was initially posted on Facebook, but has since been removed and re-posted on YouTube, where it has gone viral.  I’ll be honest that I was nearly unable to watch the entire 10+ minute video because being witness to that kind of abuse is just exhausting for me.

Through the entire video, which must have seemed like ten hours to Ms. Klein, she remains completely restrained, only tearing up in the face of the verbal assault, but never cracking or lashing out.  In fact, she seems to attempt to defuse the situation by engaging them in normal conversation, to which the students only responded with profanity and insults; calling her fat, poor, and ugly and actually threatening to defecate in her mouth.…

Boulder, CO – A 27-year-old man identifying himself as Derek Thor Apodaca was arrested for indecent exposure while dancing in a teal blue skirt, black fishnet stockings and a black tank top in front of the Boulder Municipal Building on June 6th.

Apodaca, known as “Thor” for the remainder of this article (because it’s fun), was allegedly performing his expressive dance at around lunch time when he caught the attention of several passers-by by giving them a sneak preview of his nether regions and then asking them for cigarettes.

Police who responded to the scene encountered an apparently intoxicated Thor and asked him if he was wearing anything beneath his skirt.  No such luck, apparently, but he did state that he was being a responsible she-male since, after previously realizing that his pubes were peeking above his waistband, he had donned a shirt and pulled his skirt down to keep his schlong from prying (or not-so-prying) eyes.

However, three witnesses to the events prior to the cop’s arrival had a different story to tell, indicating that Thor, while putting on his stockings, had placed his porksword on full display in a somewhat purposeful manner. …

TULSA, Oklahoma — A man in Oklahoma picked the wrong car to steal after he was subsequently pulled from the vehicle by the owner, then hog-tied by the owner’s father.

Jeremy Penny was working in a Tulsa field with his father and brother when he spotted 35-year-old Kalvin Hulvey taking off with his 1997 Buick LeSabre. Penny and his father, who both do rodeo work, immediately jumped into a truck and chased after Hulvey, eventually catching up to him at an intersection.

Penny, who stands 6-foot-5-inches and weighs 240-pounds, reached in and yanked Hulvey’s ass out of his car before his father proceeded to hog-tie Hulvey and suspend him from a nearby fence.

“I rodeo, we both rodeo,” said Penny. “But here lately, I’ve been having bad luck keeping calves tied, so he did the tying up. That way we made sure he stayed tied.”

And that’s where Hulvey stayed until police arrived and arrested him. Hulvey, who has prior felony convictions of burglary and possession of a controlled drug, was charged with larceny of a motor vehicle and is in jail on a $10,000 bond.…

Statesville, NC — A woman has been charged with neglect after the mentally handicapped woman she was hired to care for was left alone on a back porch for hours, and was found eating garbage.

Whitney Hill, 24, was arrested on Monday after she left a mentally disabled woman alone on her back porch for seven hours. Neighbors called police after noticing the handicapped woman had been left alone the porch and was observed eating garbage that included a dirty diaper.

Speaking of chowing down on a full diaper, anyone else remember the simple joy of being handed a bowl of leftover brownie mix when you were a kid? I still like cleaning the bowl whenever I make brownies–no need to let that weed go to waste–but it just isn’t the same.

Anyway, when police arrived at the apartment and spoke with Hill’s boyfriend, they learned Hill was spending the day with a friend. Hill was employed by M & M of the Carolinas to care for the woman, but was not authorized to take the woman from the home.…

Miami, FL — Another story in the news today that includes an x-ray of an object piercing straight through someone’s skull.

In this incident, 16-year-old Yasser Lopez was preparing to go fishing with a friend when a spear gun his friend was packing accidentally discharged. The three-foot spear entered above Lopez’s left eye and lodged in his head–after passing completely through his brain.

“It was about one inch above his right eye straight through,” said trauma surgeon Dr. George Garcia. “You could feel the tip under the skin on the posterior part of the skull.”

The miraculous thing is that Lopez did not die immediately, but somehow the spear missed every major blood vessel in his brain. The teen also got lucky in that the spear went through the right side of the brain, the side that does not control speech.

But surviving a spear to the brain without dying is only part of the issue. the other part is doctor’s being able to remove the damn thing without killing Yasser or causing him more serious injuries.…

Shiner, TX — This isn’t too surprising, but a grand jury in Texas ruled that the father who caught a man molesting his young daughter was within his rights to beat that man to death.

On Tuesday, a Lavaca County grand jury decided not to indict the 23-year-old father who beat 47-year-old Jesus Mora Flores to death after he caught Flores in the act of raping his 5-year-old daughter. Prosecutors said the grand jury agreed with police, in that the father was within his rights to protect his daughter with deadly force, after they reviewed evidence that included the father’s 911 call.

The father and her daughter were on their family’s rural farm having a barbecue when someone witnessed Flores, a casual acquaintance of the father’s family,  forcibly carrying the father’s daughter to a secluded area near a barn. After being informed, the father ran towards his daughter’s screams and found Flores in the process of sexually assaulting her. The father pulled Flores away and delivered a series of blows to Flores’s head that proved fatal.…

FORT WAYNE, Ind. – I got an update on 39-year-old Mike Plumadore, the man charged with murdering and dismembering 9-year-old Aliahna Lemmon last year.

On Monday, a judge sentenced Plumadore to life behind bars. Plumadore plead guilty to the murder last month and saved himself from the Pancuronium bromide and Potassium chloride cocktail he so richly deserves.

A few days before last Christmas, Plumadore was babysitting Aliahna and her 6-year-old sisters because their mother was sick. They all lived in the same trailer park and Plumadore was a trusted family friend who had cared for Aliahna’s dying grandfather who passed away a few weeks earlier.

Plumadore said that the next morning he woke up and found Aliahna missing. This would turn out to be partly true as cops would find the girl’s hands, feet and head inside Plumadores’ freezer. The rest of her was found in garbage bags at a nearby gas station. An autopsy report would reveal the girl had died from blunt force trauma and suffocation.

Plumadore was charged with Aliahna’s murder and prosecutors were going for the death penalty.…

Miami Beach, FL – Ronald Keith Rolfes, 31, was charged with video voyeurism on June 17th at the Fontainebleau hotel after allegedly planting a video recording device in an area where Hooters International Swimsuit Pageant participants were changing.

What Rolfes probably didn’t realize is that all he really had to do to see his subjects naked was to inquire about their places of employment and visit them there after the competition was over, but he is apparently as smart as he is good-looking.

As the police report goes, two Miami police officers were at the hotel addressing a different matter when one of the pageant’s participants alerted them to the fact that she’d spotted a hidden video camera in an open backpack while she was changing into her bathing suit.

The officer, Rosa Olivo, went to investigate the claim, finding the camera still plugged into the wall, with Rolfe in the room outside the curtained-off changing area.  She confiscated the camera and viewed the footage stored on it, which just happened to contain images of Rolfe setting it up. …

CHARLOTTE, NC — Police have arrested 33-year-old Regina Terry after they say she threw a pan of hot grease on her neighbors this past Sunday, burning two adults and four children.

Neighbors say that Terry has had an ongoing dispute with her neighbors, the McLean family. The altercations never turned physical, and usually consisted of them yelling at each other. But this past Sunday, Terry skipped past simple assault and went straight to assault with a deadly weapon and malicious maiming.

After Terry and the McLeans got into another argument, the McLean family–two adult sisters and their children, ages 10, 8, 6, and 22 months–were on the phone with police when Terry threw hot grease from a pan inside the McLean’s apartment.

Everyone in the McLean family was burned in some fashion. Four of the victims were taken to Chapel Hill burn center. One of the adults and her 22-month-old son suffered injuries so bad that they had to be airlifted. Two others were treated at a local hospital while another refused treatment.…

Salem, MA – Angelique Griffin, a 25-year-old DB’s Golden Banana strip club worker and mother of 3-year-old twins, has been charged with motor vehicle homicide and operating under the influence of alcohol in a fatal collision that occurred on June 16th at about 4 AM.

Police reports indicate that Griffin got behind the wheel of her PT Cruiser against her better judgement when it was time to leave a gathering with her friends.  She claims to have had two beers and two “very strong” Red Bull vodka drinks, but that she felt she was in better shape to drive than any of the other candidates.  Griffin offered Dillon Renard, who would have turned 20 at the end of this month, a ride home even though she did not seem to know him very well.  He got into the front passenger seat.

While driving down Boston Road in Salem, Griffin claims that Renard was trying to get to know her a little better, making unwelcome sexual advances while she was driving.  “He would not stop touching me,” she said. …

Cracked Spine Short: I, Zombie Chapter Draft

June 19, 2012 at 8:19 am by  

Here, Now — If you have been on this site for any amount of time, then you have heard of Hugh Howey or may even know him. We recently reviewed his Amazon Bestseller, the Wool Omnibusand now I eagerly await his next book, a zombie book titled I, ZOMBIE.

I can hear some of you complain, “Ah, man… another zombie book?” Yeah, it is indeed a saturated market at the moment. The public really love their zombies. But let me tell you why this is my most anticipated book. I, ZOMBIE will detail a zombie outbreak from the viewpoint of multiple characters. But unlike the plethora of other zombie books out there, these tales will not be told by a group of survivors, it will be told from the zombies themselves.

Imagine that you have been turned into a zombie and have found yourself in your infant’s room. No hope for the poor kid as you reach into his crib and then lift his soft belly up to your mouth and begin chewing.…

Madison, SD – Carl Ericsson, 73, was sentenced to life in prison for shooting former classmate, Norman Johnson, over a locker room incident that occurred more than 50 years ago.  Ericsson pleaded “guilty but mentally ill” to second-degree murder last month.

In January, Ericsson drove to Johnson’s house, rang the doorbell, confirmed his victim’s identity, and shot him dead.

Now, I’ve been known to hold a grudge or two, particularly against people I never really liked in the first place, but I could probably stand to take a few lessons from Mr. Ericsson.  After all, my methods of revenge are fairly lightweight by comparison, usually involving the surreptitious placement of my precious bodily fluids in items intended for my victim’s consumption.

It seems as though Johnson, who was a popular track star back in high school once placed a jockstrap on the head of Ericsson, who was serving as a student sports manager at the time.  I have no idea what a “student sports manager” is, but I’m going to assume that it’s something at least mildly humiliating; akin to being a water boy for the football team. …

Laredo, TX —  The mother of a 6-year-old child says a teacher instructed an entire classroom of kindergartners to line up and slap her son because of his alleged bullying. Now two Salinas Elementary School teachers have been placed on leave, and the mother of the boy wants criminal charges filed.

The incident happened in May, but the boy never told his mother about it. It only came to light after one of the teachers present alerted school officials two weeks after it happened, and after a police report of the incident reached the county district attorney.

There’s two versions of what happened, neither of which are acceptable, but the mother’s version is a bit more extreme while the teacher’s version is a bit more believable.

According to the mother, her son admits he had been acting up in line. His teacher, described as “relatively young,” asked another teacher what she should do to curtail his bullying. The other teacher took the boy into her classroom and had him sit down before instructing 24 other kindergartners to file past him and give him a nice slap.…

Lake Charles, LA – Charles Lee Bergeron Sr., 80, pleaded guilty in December to 12 counts of oral sexual battery, 12 counts of indecent behavior and one count of sexual battery.  Prosecutor Cynthia Guillory asked Judge Clayton Davis to impose the maximum sentence possible, citing him as the “sickest of the sick.”

After reading countless articles about Luca Magnotta, I’m not sure I completely agree with Guillory, but I’m definitely willing to give Bergeron a Pedophile Medal of Honor and perhaps some sort of Lifetime Achievement Award for his noteworthy career in criminal deviancy, a career that started as far back as his first arrest in 1975.

Bergeron’s M.O., it seems, would be to invite young boys to his home, intoxicate them with alcohol and/or drugs until they’d passed out, and then perform oral sex on them.  “He said he told them that he was an old man and needed testosterone … needed their semen to live, basically,” Guillory said. “Now that’s sick.”  Bergeron certainly didn’t make it easy on himself, as I can’t imagine extracting semen from the penis of a heavily-drugged individual would be the easiest way to go, no matter what the age of the victim. …

LORAIN, Ohio — A judge in Ohio threw a man in jail for three days because he showed up in his courtroom wearing sagging britches.

I could easily fill this article making fun of the people I see on a daily basis wearing their pants below their ass waddling down the sidewalk with their boxers showing. I don’t get it, but I grew up in the ’80s and didn’t get why men wore things like this, this and this.

But no matter what style of the times is being lauded as another sign of societal decline, there are just certain times when common sense says you just should not wear them. A funeral, a job interview or standing in front of a judge are just a few examples. One man found that out the other day after he chose to go inside Lorain Municipal Court Judge Mark Mihok’s courtroom with his pants on the ground and his underwear showing.

Durrell Brooks was in Mihok’s courtroom last Thursday, accompanying a woman facing a traffic violation, to tell the judge that he had insurance on the car the woman had been driving when she got into an accident.…

Cincinnati, OH — Charles Marshall, 28, was cited for disorderly conduct late Wednesday after employees at a health clinic found him masturbating with a teddy bear in an alley behind the clinic.

As is evident by the title, this isn’t Marshall’s first go-round with the police or a stuffed animal – this is his fourth time he’s been busted for buggerin’ a stuffed bear.

According to the fine folks over at The Smoking Gun, Marshall was first arrested in February of 2010, after witnesses reported seeing him going to town on a teddy bear in the men’s room of a public library. That charge prompted a judge to ban Marshall from all public libraries in Hamilton County.

He was slapped with similar charges in November of that year. The arresting officer in that particular case noted on the police report that Marshall’s public indecency with a teddy bear had been an “ongoing problem.”

He was arrested once more in August of 2011. Police accused him of masturbating with a teddy bear in a place where minors were likely present.…

Mentor, OH — A man with a sack full ‘o cash and a dream was taken into custody earlier this week for pitching a fit at a nail salon after being denied a mani-pedi.

Charles Swinney, 43, apparently stumbled into the Asian Nails salon late Tuesday evening and asked for a manicure and pedicure, offering up $100 for the service. When told by salon employees that the store was closing soon and they would not be able to assist him, Swinney reportedly started whining that said procedure was on his Bucket List and he wanted it now, dammit.

According to police, Swinney then tried to sweeten the deal with an additional $200. Now, I don’t know what nail techs are making these days, but this girl’s ass woulda stuck  around an extra hour to service the odd-looking little man. The techs at Asian Nails, however, couldn’t be swayed and police were called after Swinney refused to leave the premises.

Swinney was taken into custody after a brief struggle. Police say he had a large amount of cash in one hand and was in possession of a bag he claimed contained nearly $10,000.…