In The Mean Time...
Las Vegas, NV — A woman accused of stabbing her 6-year-old daughter to death with a pair of scissors reportedly told police she did so because she felt an “evil presence” in her home and believed her child may have been possessed by a demon.
After being found naked on the streets of Las Vegas, covered in blood from what she claimed was “the Lamb of God,” 27-year-old Danielle Slaughter apparently expressed disbelief that she had disposed of her child in such a way.
“Did I kill my daughter? Is she dead?” Slaughter questioned police, later claiming that “wasn’t like her.”
Slaughter, who apparently began taking the dietary supplement Hydroxycut about four days prior to the murder, reportedly told police she had felt an evil presence in the home and claimed “she never felt this way before,” she just wanted to remove the evil from the house.
Slaughter claims 6-year-old Kyla Franks began speaking and laughing in an evil voice Sunday evening. When Kyla began kicking and clawing at her, Slaughter said, she grabbed a pair of scissors and stabbed the girl multiple times.…
NEW ORLEANS, LA — A woman in Louisiana is forcing her 13-year-old daughter to wear an embarrassing shirt that reads “Hide your money. Hide your clothes. Hide everything. ‘Cuz I’m A Thief.” after the teen was caught shoplifting.
Danaka Walker said she was sick to her stomach the day she had to pick up her daughter, Aaroneisha Celestin, from a juvenile detention center. The girl was there after getting caught stealing a $10 shirt from a local shopping center.
As part of her punishment, her mother is forcing her to wear the new shirt whenever she leaves the house and must do so until her court proceedings are over.
“I feel like if you’re going to embarrass me by stealing, I’m gonna show you what it’s like to be embarrassed. Everybody’s gonna know that you stole,” Walker said. “I work too hard for her to steal, and I’m not gonna have no thief living with me. I refuse to have a thief living with me.”
Walker says she doesn’t want the judge to throw her in jail, especially since it’s her first offense, but she is not looking for leniency from the judge as she wants her daughter to learn her lesson.…
Elyria, OH — Ameryst Blaylock, 26, made her first court appearance Monday to answer to charges of felonious assault and domestic violence after police say she bit off a portion of her husband’s lip during an argument earlier this month.
According to court documents, Ameryst and her husband Thomas had been involved in some sort of verbal altercation in the early morning hours of March 9, when the woman went all pit bull on him and attempted to chew off his face.
Ameryst allegedly socked her hubby in the face before declaring that if he didn’t want her anymore, she’d make damn sure no one would ever want him again. With that, she pounced on him, bit off the right side of his lower lip and spit it out.
Hubby hightailed it to the ER, sans lip. Unfortunately for him, the injury was too extensive for the lip to be reattached, so police just tossed the chunk of face meat after recovering it from the couple’s home.
In court, Thomas Blaylock claimed he is in no danger and asked the judge to lift a no-contact order so he and his “loving” wife could attend marriage counseling.…
Albuquerque, New Mexico – As I understand it, most people who visit Hobby Lobby are there to purchase supplies to facilitate their hobbyist pursuits. However, it seems a certain young man in Albuquerque actually prefers to practice his there.
His hobby, you ask? Why, exposing his genitalia to young girls, of course.
Santa Fe police are searching for a man who was seen on security footage entering a Hobby Lobby store on Friday, slapping a lingering look all over a couple of people, and then walking by. After this, he apparently zeroed in on two girls, aged 10 and 13, and followed them around in creepy fashion for a while. He then proceeded to pull his pants down and stroke his manhood in front of them.
I’m not much of a scrapbooker, but I’m guessing there are less criminal ways to make glue.
Police are requesting help from the public in identifying the man captured on the security footage. For the time being, I’ve nicknamed him “The Hobby Lobby Knob Slob,” since it kind of rolls off the tongue without dripping down your leg or staining your pants.…
HONOLULU, HI — If you know of a child missing some fingers recently, police in Hawaii would really like to talk to you after a child’s fingers were found in a dumpster behind a low-income housing complex.
A woman was looking for bottles and cans in a dumpster behind the Kukui Gardens Housing Complex when she found a ziploc bag containing what she thought was ginger root.
“I saw a plastic ziploc bag, which I thought were ginger root starting to dry out. I’m a gardener, and I recycle, and I thought I’d be able restore them. So I threw them in my purse,” said Gina Rose Vendegna.
She later realized what she had found was not ginger root when she noticed the fingernails. She showed the fingers to some other people who weren’t convinced they were actually fingers, or if they were, once belonged to a monkey.
“I thought just by chance I’m going to call the Police Department, turn ’em in and let them decide,” Vendegna said.
Tests determined the fingers, two complete and four partial, belonged to a female child between two-and-a-half and four years old.…
Remes’ victim had been quoted as saying, “I just hope that I get to tell the court what I experienced, and how it hurt.” With Remes’ trial for attempted murder now underway, she finally has her chance and was in court to testify against him.
Patricia Lefranc, 48, told court members that she was, ‘determined to look him in the eye and show the jury what he has done to me’.
According to court documents, on December 1, 2009, Remes was waiting for Lefranc as she exited an elevator in the Brussels suburb of Molenbeek-Saint-Jean. Lefranc told the court that Remes – with whom she had terminated an affair – sprayed sulphuric acid all over her head and upper body. Remes was married with children at the time.
After the attack, Lefranc said she was convinced that she would die, but neighbors heard her screams and managed to get her to a nearby hospital.…
TUSTIN, CA — Police have arrested a 23-year-old sex offender after they say he sodomized a 13-year-old boy inside the bathroom of a California library.
The victim was studying at the Tustin Library after school when Robert Claudio approached the teen and struck up a conversation. Somehow Claudio was able to convinced the victim into accompanying him to the library’s bathroom where, once inside, police say Claudio sodomized the boy.
Immediately after the assault, the teen fled to a nearby police station to report the incident. At around the same time, Claudio had left the library and approached a police services officer. He told him that he’s a registered sex offender and confessed to being involved with something that happened at the library.
The victim was treated at a nearby hospital and positively identified Claudio as the man who had sexually assaulted him.
Claudio, who confessed to the assault, was arrested and charged with sodomy of a minor and committing lewd and lascivious acts with a child under the age of 14.…
Hudson, Florida – It’s not always easy to find an appropriate place to empty your skanky bladder. If you’d like proof, just ask Marcia Usher, who reportedly called 911 Wednesday night to inform them that she was lost in the woods and didn’t know where she could urinate.
From the looks of her, I’m guessing that she was confused by the lack of fire hydrants in the area.
Now, all one has to do is browse any single day’s worth of Dreamin’ Demon posts to come to the conclusion that Florida is renowned for its dense population of near-retarded individuals but, as a responding officer would note, Ms. Usher was taking it to a new level by being completely mistaken about being in the woods. She was, in fact, intoxicated in front of her home, drinking a beer, babysitting an open cooler. Strike one.
When the officer asked the liquid-filled lady if he could check her cooler for drugs and/or weapons, she reportedly informed him that it contained beer and a knife. …
FORT LAUDERDALE, FL — A dumbass in Florida is looking at a felony theft charge and possible jail time after a picture of him holding the nameplate he allegedly stole off a judge’s door found itself on Facebook.
Police say that on February 23, 21-year-old Steven Mulhall pried the $40 nameplate off of Broward Circuit Judge Michael Orlando’s door. A picture of Mulhall holding the nameplate was then posted to his girlfriend’s Facebook profile.
An anonymous tip directed investigators to the picture and Mulhall was arrested for petty theft. But here’s the kicker. Since he was already on probation for past petty theft convictions, this charge is a felony.
Mulhall, a friggin’ thief who has already been charged with 15 car burglaries, 10 counts of petty theft and two counts of grand theft, admits it was stupid of him to post the picture but says he didn’t steal the nameplate. Rather, he found it on the ground outside the courthouse.
“First off, I never even pulled it from the courtroom,” said Mulhall.…
Bridgeport, CT – Former Stamford police officer, Paul Mabey, 43, pleaded no contest to disorderly conduct after having been charged for showing a photo of his penis to women during traffic stops.
According to police, on May 21, 2010, Mabey conducted a traffic stop on a woman with her 21 month-old-baby in a car seat in the back. The reason for the stop… talking on her cell phone. Court documents describe Mabey pointing out to her almost immediately that her dress had ridden up her thighs. The woman apologized and rolled her dress down. She said that Mabey replied, “No. I like what I see.”
[Cue music] Boom chicka chicka wow wow…
Mabey would then be told by the woman that he was too old. [Music stops abruptly]
“I’m only 40. That’s not old, it’s experienced,” she quoted Mabey in her formal complaint as saying.
After taking her license and registration to his car, Mabey reportedly came back and told her she should plead not guilty to the cell phone ticket and buy a hands-free device.…
Chicago, IL — Last week we had a story about a family getting kicked off a JetBlue flight because of an unruly toddler, now we got an American Airlines flight attendant getting kicked off her plane because of a possible mental breakdown.
Passengers on flight 2332 got a bit of a FINAL DESTINATION moment Friday morning when one of the flight attendants could be heard over the intercom speaking in and out of Spanish, stating that if the plane took off it was going to crash.
“She made two comments, that if we didn’t go back to the gate we would crash,” said passenger Stephen Termunde. “It was almost like she was talking, and didn’t know the PA was on.”
Other flight attendants tried to get the intercom phone out of her hands and even enlisted the help of some first class passengers. One of those passengers said it took about five people to restrain her.
“I grabbed her arms, there were about four of us, I guess, five of us, including the flight attendants who actually sat her back down in my seat,” Kevin Ritch said.…
Daniel Happ was arrested early Wednesday morning after police responded to the woman’s home on a disturbance call. When police arrived on scene, they found a 23-year-old woman unconscious and suffering from numerous blows to the head. Also in the home, the woman’s 8-year-old daughter, who police believe had been raped by Happ. Police say the sh*thead threatened to bludgeon the child with the same hammer he beat the snot out of her mamma with as he defiled her.
In addition to the two human victims, police also found a dog in the home to be suffering from several stab wounds.
The woman was transported to the hospital for treatment, but because of her condition, she was unable to assist police with their investigation. The child was interviewed by professionals at the Kane County Child Advocacy Center and taken someplace safe, and the dog is in the care of a local veterinarian.…
Here, Now — Thanks to everyone who showed up to the 5th episode of the Pulpit of Doom Drunkcast to do some drinking with me, Jaded and Athena. You can listen to it here. The drunkcasts are like our Wednesday show, just infused with copious amounts of alcohol.
Because of the site issues we had yesterday stemming from my forgetting to re-register the dreamindemon.com domain name, I was drinking long before the show started and, man, does it show.
I think the slurring starts at the halfway mark as we discussed getting kicked off planes because of a toddler’s tantrum, teenagers caught on camera having sex with willing pit bulls, friends who will help you move a body, two women who turned a man into soup, the little-known dangers of Jewish blowjobs, creepy funeral home employees looking for love in all the wrong places and much, much more.
By the end of the show I’m pretty sure we were talking about large dildos. After we went off the air, we had a drunken conversation about God knows what — I refuse to go back and listen.…
Staten Island, NY — Police say a New York woman suffocated inside a clothing drop box after she climbed inside to steal donated clothing.
Yesterday around noon, 51-year-old Melissa Mazzeo climbed into the large metal box located on the side of Victory Superette and Bagels. When she tried to get out, karma paid a visit and the box’s door swung down on her neck.
A witness heard Mazzeo’s screams and ran inside the bagel shop for help. When one of the shop’s employees went out to assist, he found poor Mazzeo unresponsive with her head and hands sticking outside the box.
“Two hands and a head, that’s it, just out the door,” the man said. “Not a sight to see.”
Mazzeo must have really been wedged in there because she stayed that way for a few hours. Neither police or rescue workers were able to free her until someone came and removed the lock.
A spokesperson for the New York Police Department said Mazzeo has a history of stealing clothing from the donation boxes and often had a shopping cart and a hook she used to remove the donated clothes.…
Boston, MA – Dr. Colette Vieau and her family, a husband and two young daughters, had boarded a JetBlue flight back to Boston from the luxurious island of Turks and Caicos when they were told to get off. The reason? Their two-year-old, Natalie, was throwing a fit and refused to be seated.
In a courageous show of force, the girl’s parents finally managed to wrangle the beast and restrain her with a seat belt, holding her in place. Dr. Vieau, who states her family were never belligerent, angry or screaming, then said to a flight attendant, “We have them seated. Can we go now?”
It was at that point that the flight attendant informed them the pilot had already decided, for the safety of all customers and crewmembers on board, that the family be removed from the plane.
JetBlue released a statement explaining the pilot came to this decision because the family “did not comply with crewmember instructions for a prolonged time period.”
There were no more flights that night, and the family reports that they spent $2,000 for a hotel and new flights. …
Mom Tells Police That Sex Toy Found During Child Abuse Investigation Is For ’15-Year-Old Girlfriend’March 10, 2012 at 10:17 am by kniption
During that visit, police asked Guadalupe’s daughter to show them a belt that the child had claimed Guadalupe had used to hit both her and her brother.
According to a criminal complaint filed in the case, the child went to a closet to retrieve the belt and – upon opening it – ‘reared back’ and told the officer she had seen “something disgusting.”
Inside the closet, police describe finding a sex toy. When police asked Guadalupe about the device, she reportedly told them that ‘she used it with her 15-year-old girlfriend.’
Bzzzzzzzzzt. Wrong answer.
According to court documents, Police immediately contacted the Lackawanna County district attorney’s office and were advised to pursue an arrest warrant against Guadalupe for statutory sexual assault.
Guadalupe granted officers written permission to search her home. The sex toy – along with the packaging from several other sex toys that she said she used with her girlfriend – were reportedly taken into evidence.…
Port Angeles, WA – Paul Brinkmann, an eighth-grade math teacher at Stevens Middle School, stands accused of child rape, and it would seem the community is standing with him. At the conclusion of his March 5th hearing, the roomful of Brinkmann supporters gave him a standing ovation, despite allegedly knowing he admitted the abuse to police.
The victim, who is not a student at the middle school, contacted police and told them about the abuse. It allegedly began as molestation around the age of 11 and continued for five years, eventually becoming rape, which occurred between 10 and 15 times. He also alleges Brinkmann threatened violence if the victim told anyone. According to Probable Cause documents, Brinkmann admitted the molestation but not the rape, stating, “He is the only one I want.”
Whether or not this little tidbit came out during the hearing has become a hot dispute in the comments section of at least one article on the subject, with some members of the community stating that they had no idea and would never support an admitted child rapist for any reason. …
Vancouver, WA — A man accused of putting a bullet in his roommate’s head, after “accidentally” shooting him in the back of the neck, is apparently trying to convince police that he did so as an act of mercy.
Police say 19-year-old Matthew Starr was out target shooting with roommates Joshua Schenk and Zachary Mattson late last month, when, according to Starr, Mattson slipped and almost fell. Starr said Mattson grabbed him, causing him to stumble and accidentally fire off a round. The bullet struck 25-year-old Schenk in the back of the neck.
Starr reportedly told police he knew medical help was more than five minutes away, so instead of calling 911, he just went ahead and put Schenk out of his misery with a direct shot to the head. “Like you would a deer that was injured or suffering,” Starr told police.
Since dead guys have no need for cash, Starr allegedly swiped $300 from Schenk’s wallet. Starr and Matson then dragged Schenk’s body off the trail and covered it with a tarp, where it was found by a hiker two days later.…