In The Mean Time...
Louisville, Kentucky — A University of Louisville police officer was found in contempt of court after she refused to show up to court on two occasions, telling the judge she was too busy.
Kristen Byrd ticketed a doctor for a traffic violation that he decided to contest in court. He showed up but officer Byrd did not. Now the case morphed into a bench trial, and Jefferson District Judge Stephanie Pearce Burke subpoenaed Byrd. For a second time, everyone showed up to court on time but Byrd was looking like a no show.
While everyone was in the courtroom, the judge ordered prosecutors to call Byrd to find out where she was and why she was not in court. They did so multiple times but she would not answer her phone. So the judge called her personally. This time Byrd answered and told the judge, with an attitude, that she was too busy to come to court. When the judge informed her she had been ordered to appear via a subpoena, Byrd once again said she was too busy.…
LAGUNA HILLS, CA — A 3-year-old girl drowned in a hot tub while attending a birthday party.
Ellison Susman was with her mother and younger sister attending an 11-year-old’s birthday party Saturday night at the Alicia Plaza Apartments. Ellison’s mother says she lost track of her for about 15 minutes while she breastfed her 2-month-old daughter. When she was finished and realized she didn’t see Ellison, she began asking some of the 60 people there if they knew where she was.
Ellison would be found close by, at the bottom of the hot tub next to the swimming pool. Ellison had been wearing a life vest, but looked as if she had removed it before somehow winding up in the hot tub. The vest was found later on the deck of the pool. Paramedics performed CPR on Ellison before taking her to Kaiser in Irvine and then later to Children’s Hospital of Orange County, where she died on Monday.
Ellison’s father offered parents a word of warning that I thought was pretty obvious to begin with.…
Hamilton, Ohio — A woman in Ohio was arrested the other day after she was busted trying to break into jail.
On Sunday morning, a Hamilton jail corrections officer was leaving work when he noticed 36-year-old Tiffany Hurd lying near a fence at the rear of the jail. She was wearing a backpack and appeared to be intoxicated.
Deputies were called to the scene after she refused to leave the premises and attempted to climb the barbed wire fence that surrounded the compound. When deputies arrived, they also advised Hurd to leave the area, but again she refused and continued her attempt to scale the fence. “I want to be arrested,” she stated.
So the deputies obliged her. Hurd was arrested and charged with criminal trespass and disorderly conduct. Her bond has been set at $2,500.
“Her actions really caught me by surprise,” said Sheriff Jones. “I know the economy is bad right now, but I didn’t think it was so bad that someone would actually try to break IN to jail. …
Calgary, Canada – A Canadian woman’s day reportedly went from bad-to-worse when she chose to falsely accused her father of rape after a failed suicide attempt during which she had anally mutilated herself with a pair of scissors.
“When I found out I survived it I didn’t know what to do, I was lying there medicated,” the unnamed woman said in court.
The 40-year-old mother-of-two told provincial court Judge John Bascom that – after her October 2010 suicide attempt had failed – she decided to blame her father for her injuries. She then formally accused him of raping her anally.
The father was twice interviewed by police butt denied involvement. The woman’s father was not charged after investigators concluded that the woman’s injuries were consistent with those caused by a knife or scissors. Investigators were able to finally get to the bottom of the matter after the woman admitted to using scissors to cause her wounds.
The woman faces up to 3 1/2 years in jail. She is free on bail until sentencing on August 28.…
WAYNESBORO, Ga. — An 11-year-old boy has pleaded guilty to the shooting death of his father’s girlfriend last December.
The boy was 10-years-old on Dec 30 when he got angry at his father’s girlfriend, 31-year-old Jennifer Albright (pictured), because she had asked him to clean up some dirty diapers. Albright was watching the boy, his younger cousin and her 2-year-old daughter at the time.
In response to Albright’s request, he picked up a 12-gauge shotgun he had received on Christmas then shot Albright in the back as she changed her 2-year-old daughter.
The boy was charged with felony murder and gun possession, both of which he pleaded guilty to the other day. Juvenile Court Judge Willie Saunders sentenced the boy to be held in Augusta Regional Youth Detention Campus until he turns 21, the maximum sentence allowed. The boy can file yearly petitions for early release or reduction in penalty.
His mother, who does not have custody of the boy, didn’t say anything in court but outside she apologized to Albright’s family, who wanted the boy charged as an adult.…
Cochranton, PA – A lesbian couple will stand trial for the brutal beating death of 20-year-old Brandy Stevens-Rosine, the third leg of their lesbian love triangle.
Stevens-Rosine had dated 18-year-old Jade Olmstead for about a year, but the relationship had ended with Olmstead moving in with 20-year-old Ashley Barber (pictured) at Barber’s house 75 miles away in Pennsylvania. Although they were broke up, Olmstead and Stevens-Rosine stayed in contact and Stevens-Rosine still did favors for Olmstead whenever asked.
On May 17, Stevens-Rosine accepted an invitation by Olmstead to visit her at her new home. Stevens must have sensed something was wrong because after making the 75-mile trip and arriving at her destination, she texted a friend that she had a “funny feeling.” Not heeding the warning, Stevens-Rosine was lured out to a nearby wooded area under the guise of Barber and Olmstead wanting to show Stevens-Rosine a fort they were building.
Instead, Stevens-Rosine was beat mercilessly by Olmsted and Barber, who kicked and punched her to the point of Stevens-Rosine screaming and begging for her life.…
Portland, OR – Jamie Todd Hensler, 40, who had been booked on charges of assault, harassment, disorderly conduct and reckless endangering earlier this year, is facing new charges of misuse of a drinking fountain, indecent exposure and disorderly conduct after allegedly exposing himself and washing his genitals in a public park’s water fountain in the presence of children.
Witnesses report that Hensler had been attempting to engage children at the park in conversation and, at some point, threw a water balloon in their general direction. It’s unclear what prompted his next act, which was reportedly to drop his pants to his ankles and begin washing his junk in the water fountain, though I strongly suspect that the “water balloon” may have been filled with another type of liquid and that the inflation technique had proven far from flawless.
“He was bathing in the drinking fountain and had his pants down around his ankles and he was totally exposing himself,” said witness Michael Koopman. “Once I saw that I asked the teacher to bring the kids inside.”
Hensler was soon arrested on the charges mentioned above and banned from the park. …
MODESTO, CA – A 68-year-old felony sex crime suspect has died after repeatedly stabbing himself in the neck before being shot by police earlier this month.
On July 12, David Mendez was visited by a uniformed officer and Detective Steve Anderson, who works on the Special Victims Unit. Mendez was a suspect in a sex crime and Anderson had interviewed Mendez previously. He was there today, with the other officer, to arrest Mendez.
Mendez answered the door and briefly spoke with the two men. He said he knew he would be arrested after they had completed their investigation and that he had written a confession. Mendez then walked to a nearby desk and retrieved a 12-inch “diver’s knife” that he used to repeatedly stab himself in the neck. According to Lt. Rick Armendariz, Mendez “repeatedly thrust the knife in and out, holding the knife with both his hands.”
Refusing to obey the officer’s demand to stop doing that, Mendez was Tased. This did not prove to be effective and Mendez continued to stab himself.…
Phoenix, AZ – Toxicology results from Michael Marin’s autopsy indicate that he did, indeed, intentionally kill himself immediately after his verdict was handed down. His method of choice? Glad you asked. Cyanide.
I wrote this story up soon after Marin collapsed and died in an Arizona courtroom immediately following the reading of his guilty verdict. I’d tell the story again, but I did such a masterful job the first time, I’ll request that you simply read it here.
It’s difficult to watch the video of Marin’s final moments without believing that he placed something in his mouth and washed it down with the contents of a bottle he’d carried into the courtroom with him. The toxicology results now leave little doubt.
There are two shocking parts of this story for me. The first is that he opted to off himself before he’d even been sentenced. The maximum would have been 21 years, and I’d imagine an appeal would have been a no-brainer. Something tells me that there’s a bit more information about his situation that I don’t currently possess.…
Novosibirsk, Russia – After yesterday’s story of involuntary penectomy, I feel the desperate need to redeem myself by reporting on another such incident, only this time performed on a wholly deserving individual.
Svetlana Serafina, 25, was working behind the counter of a sauna establishment, dozing a bit on a slow day, when Dmitry Zubarev, 29, walked in pretending to be a legitimate customer. Next thing she knew, she was being struck in the head.
“I opened my eyes and saw this man standing in front of me, his teeth were clenched and he had his hands in fists, and he started punching me, then he kicked me to the ground when I tried to flee. He was tearing at my clothes and then he pulled down his trousers and put his penis in my mouth, that was when I bit down as hard as I could, and didn’t let go,” she said.
Now, I’m not a person who would ever entertain the idea of committing rape, but if I were, I like to think that I’d be smart enough to avoid the oral variety. …
Chicago, IL – Two years ago we reported on the death of Megan Duskey. She was the 23-year-old special education teacher who tried sliding down a stair’s banister during a Halloween party and plunged four stories to her death.
Now it is being reported that her family is suing the hotel.
James and Deborah Duskey have filed a lawsuit against Hilton Worldwide, the Palmer House Hilton, Surreal Chicago and Adrenaline Y2K, claiming their combined negligence was the cause of their daughter’s death.
They allege the named parties allowed party-goers to drink unlimited amounts of alcohol and failed to provide proper security to protect the drunks…from themselves?
Duskey was one of around 2,000 people who attended the Haunted Hotel Ball at Chicago’s Palmer House Hilton in 2010. She had arrived dressed as Silk Spectre from The Watchman comics (rawr) and had only been there for around 30 minutes when she attempted to slide down a banister on the hotel’s mezzanine level.
Unfortunately, she lost her balance and fell four stories to the basement level.…
Browerville, Minn. – Seth Kellen (pictured), 18, and Connor Burns, also 18, have been charged with multiple counts of sexual assault on their basketball teammates. The attacks allegedly took place in showers (surprise, surprise), hotel rooms, and elevators. The photos contained in this article are not mugshots, by the way.
Some are calling the attacks part of a hazing ritual, though County Attorney Chuck Rasmussen said this case is not viewed as hazing because “the victims included seniors, and there’s no reason for hazing seniors. Also, the victims said it didn’t feel like a hazing situation.” Read on and you’ll likely agree with me that it sounds more like the activities of psychopathic, closeted, self-hating homosexuals.
One might now ask oneself if there is a “reason” for hazing underclassmen. Now, at the risk of seeming like a sissy in the eyes of all closeted meatheads, I must admit that I’ve forever viewed hazing only as a vehicle for sociopaths to dole out punishment on others under the socially-acceptable guise of attempting to build strong bonds within groups of males. …
JACKSON MO. — Camera’s were rolling yesterday when the son of James Clay Waller, a man charged with murdering his wife, confronted a witness for the prosecution outside the courthouse before the two traded some punches.
It happened outside the Cape Girardeau County Courthouse during a 10-minute break from Waller’s preliminary hearing. His son, J.C. Waller, can be seen confronting Matt Marshall, one of the prosecution’s 17 witnesses testifying against J.C.’s old man.
Words are exchanged leading to Marshall punching J.C. in the face. J.C. returns fire and the pair get into a minor brawl. The fight ends when a group of women step in and pull J.C. off of Marshall, who had fallen on the ground. Police arrested both men shortly after.
Check out the video. If you can’t see it because of work related restrictions, trust me when I say you aren’t missing much.
We posted about this case back in July of last year, which I will now recap for those of you who may be click impaired.…
Zhejiang province, China – 41-year-old Fei Lin was asleep when several men burst into his home at about 4 AM, placed a bag over his head, cut his penis off, and left with it.
I have to admit that I haven’t slept very well since reading this story a few days ago, having had a similar scare this past winter. One night in February, I awoke in the wee hours, somewhat dazed and a little confused; you know, my normal state. In any case, I checked around for my penis, which is the first thing every male does upon waking, only to find it apparently gone. As it turns out, I had merely left the window open and inadvertently kicked my covers to the floor. I was able to locate my frigid, recoiled member with some effort, but the initial terror has stayed with me to this day.
My heart goes out to Fei Lin, who apparently has no hope of a Bobbitt-esque reattachment and subsequent pornography career, as the thieves made off with his severed schween under the cover of darkness. …
LUFKIN, TX — A woman in Texas was arrested last week after police say she waged a campaign of harassment–against herself.
Barbara Bordelon, 52, and another man called police to report a woman they did not know was harassing them with phone calls and threatening text messages. While police investigated, the mystery woman continued with the phone calls and text messages, including some that stated the pair would be attacked by friends of the woman if they did not get police to back off.
But police continued their investigation and found that the woman doing the harassing was none other than Bordelon herself. They found that the prepaid phone being used by the woman was actually purchased by Borderlon using a fake name. Once busted and presented with the proof of her deeds, Bordelon admitted to making the calls and sending the messages, but did not explain why. I am guessing a lot of her motivation has to do with Bordelon being over 50 and lacking a penis.
Bordelon, who has no prior criminal convictions, was charged with two counts of tampering with evidence and fraudulent use of identifying information. …
WOODSTOCK, Ill.— I completely missed this story when it was first being reported, but it seems as if John Wayne Gacy’s nephew, 49-year-old Raymond Kasper, is currently on trial after being charged with sexually assaulting a 12-year-old girl on multiple occasions.
Kasper was charged with predatory criminal sexual assault and aggravated criminal sexual abuse against a girl under the age of 13. The girl is the daughter of a woman Kasper has dated for years who, according to the prosecution, was sexually assaulted by Kasper multiple times between June and October of last year. During the opening statements, Assistant State’s Attorney Matthew Ciesielski told the jury about one occasion in which Kasper’s “fat, sausage like fingers” touched the girl in a sexual manner while rubbing lotion on her body after she was bitten by mosquitoes.
But Kasper’s defense attorney, Michael Barrett,says that the accusations are from a young girl who was upset with Kasper for cheating on her mother. The victim’s mother has also said that she has doubts about her daughter’s allegations, saying she thinks her daughter was trying to protect her.…
ARMSTRONG, Iowa — A man with a 40-lb jar of mercury walks into a bar. Sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, right? Well it actually happened the other day in Iowa and ended with more than a dozen people, , including four children, being monitored for mercury poisoning
It all started when a construction worker remodeling a home found a plastic bottle in the basement that contained 40 pounds of liquid mercury. The man decided to take the mercury to a bar so he could show it off to his friends.
While there, someone knocked over the container, spilling half of the mercury on the floor. The bar owner attempted to clean the spill with a shop-vac and a broom. Wanna guess the worst way to clean up a mercury spill aside from lapping it up with your tongue? Not only are the broom and vacuum now contaminated, the heat from the vacuum cleaner’s motor creates even more mercury vapor in the air.
Now that around a dozen bar patrons have been exposed to the mercury, the man decided he’d had his fun and took the remaining 25 pounds of mercury back to the house–and hid it in a sandbox.…