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In The Mean Time...

Chicago, IL -- Police have arrested a man after he posted a picture of his bound and gagged toddler on Facebook.

The image was posted by 21-year-old Andre Curry, and showed his 22-month-old daughter after he used blue painter’s tape to bound her hands and feet and cover her mouth. The caption read: “This is wut happens wen my baby hits me back. ; )”

He found out real quick that people were not winking back when the picture went viral and police started investigating, along with the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services.

Curry, a waiter at Applebee’s, is due in domestic court today to answer to charges of aggravated domestic battery. DCFS says they are checking the girl for any physical abuse but have no record of the family.

One of his Facebook friend’s said Curry would never hurt his daughter.

Weeeeeee!

“[He was] being playful with his child,” she said. “People play with their children differently.” o_O

God knows we’ve posted a plethora of dumbass stories involving dumbass parents doing dumbass things to their dumbass children and then posting the dumbass pics they took to dumbass Facebook.…

Grand Chute, WI — An unidentified Cheesehead was taken into custody Sunday after police say the inebriated woman grew angry and attacked her 11-year-old daughter because the Packers lost their first game of the season. To the *snortgiggle* Chiefs.

About five hours after the devastating loss, police were called to the Extended Stay Hotel where the woman was presumably staying with her husband and child. After making contact with the family, police learned the woman had been downing beer and vodka throughout the game.

According to the criminal complaint, the girl reportedly stepped forward and told police that while the Packers were losing, her mother grabbed her hair and choked her. The girl went on to say that after the Packers lost, her mother choked her again with enough force that she couldn’t breathe, asking her, “Do you want to die?” Red marks and scratches were apparently visible on the child’s neck.

The woman’s husband told police the woman also threw her dinner on the floor, broke a lamp and attempted to punch him in the face because she was upset about the game.…

Arrest Made In The Murder Of Carina Saunders

December 21, 2011 at 9:01 am by  

BETHANY, Oklahoma – Back in October we reported on Carina Saunders, the 19-year-old girl whose dead body was found stuffed inside a duffel bag. Yesterday police announced they have arrested 33-year-old Jimmy Lee Massey on a complaint of first-degree murder.

He wasn’t hard to find as he was already sitting in jail on drug trafficking charges after being the focus of a large narcotics investigation. Massey has also been charged with the  kidnapping and assault of an unknown witness who was the key to cracking the case, and where things get really, really strange.

In case you didn’t click the link to our initial story, Saunders was last seen around an apartment complex on October 8 or 9. Animal rescue workers found her dismembered body in a duffel bag behind a Homeland store a little over a week later.

During their investigation, police learned that a woman may have witnessed the murder of Saunders and after tracking the woman down, they were told a story right out of a bad movie.…

Park Rdg, IL — A man got his face beat to a pulp after he refused to let go of a police officer’s groin.

Police were called to Dominick’s Finer Foods last week on a report of a possible shoplifter. When they arrived at the store they witnessed 44-year-old Frank Slowik running from an employee.

The responding officers gave chase and wrestled Slowik to the ground. While he was being restrained, Slowik decided this was a great oppurtunity to steal a handful of cock meat and proceeded grab one of the arresting officer’s groin.

When Slowik refused to let go of the officer’s lunchbox, his eyeballs were magically turned into freshly f*cked assholes by the officer’s fists, who also proceeded to turn one side of Slowik’s face fifteen shades of purple.

Slowik eventually let go of his prize and was placed in jail in lieu of $50,000 bail on charges of retail theft, aggravated battery to a police officer and resisting arrest. Police would find $1,000 of stolen seafood and meat in Slowik’s vehicle.…

Fredericksburg, OH — A 15-year-old Amish girl named Rachel Yoder was riding home alone Thursday night after attending a Christmas party at a nearby produce farm. Inexplicably, as she approached her home, she fell out of the buggy onto the ground. Her brother found her after he saw her horse and buggy circling around her.

The teen died of an apparent head injury. At first, authorities reportedly believed that she had fallen out of the buggy and hit her head. A hospital examination revealed that, in fact, she had been shot in the head.

Wayne County sheriff’s Capt. Douglas Hunter said his department traced a trail of blood along the road the girl had traveled back about three-eighths of a mile into neighboring Holmes County – an area of farms and rolling hills. Although the site of the shooting had been pinpointed, the cause was unknown.

The residents in the area were left to speculate for days. Then, Holmes County Sheriff Timothy Zimmerly said a family who lived about 1.5 miles from the site of the teen’s fatal gunshot wound contacted authorities with the probable cause.…

CHARLESTON, S.C. – A man’s brother died after eating the cocaine stashed in his ass and now police plan on charging him with manslaughter.

Back in November, 23-year-old Deangelo Rashard Mitchell and his brother, 20-year-old Wayne Joshua Mitchell were arrested for trafficking.

Video in the car captured Deangelo begging his younger brother to fish the cocaine out of his ass and eat it.

“One of us gotta do it, you the only one that don’t have any strikes. …You my little brother… I’m gonna get life,” Deangelo pleads.

Wayne does as he is instructed, and within the hour he was having trouble breathing and bleeding from the mouth. He died soon afterward.

Deangelo was initially charged with trafficking drugs and has since bonded out of jail. But with the video evidence and a toxicology report that definitively proves Wayne died from  consuming the cocaine, police plan on charging Deangelo with involuntary manslaughter.

I love my brother to death, but if it ever came down to him going to prison, or me eating drugs out of his ass, I’d be visiting him in prison every chance I could.…

Surprised Burglar Accused Of Biting Homeowner

December 20, 2011 at 1:51 pm by  

MANCHESTER, N.H. – A man returned home to find a teenage girl in his house stealing his stuff and was able to hold her there until police arrived.

Kevin McCue, 60, had just returned home from running errands Saturday morning when he encountered 18-year-old Sadie Kowak in his house stealing some of his belongings. She had entered through a basement window and had already stuffed two laptops and a loaded handgun in a duffel bag.

She asked McCue to just let her leave and the two got into a struggle when McCue refused to oblige. Kowak kicked and bit McCue in the leg, but the fight ended with McCue pinning her to the ground with an arm lock and holding her there until police arrived.

She was arrested and charged with burglary, theft of a firearm and simple assault. McCue says he feels bad for Kowak, but not that bad.

“I mean, in one sense, I felt bad for her because obviously, she has an issue. But on the other sense, she’s also committing a felony and a very serious felony, and it’s a path she’s chosen,” McCue said.…

BATON ROUGE, LA – A teenager robbed an 89-year-old man on Sunday, and was rewarded with the elderly man’s wallet, a bullet to the leg and a trip to jail.

According to police, the victim was washing his car Sunday evening when he was approached by 18-year-old Riki Ingram. The teen demanded money and grabbed for the older man’s wallet.

The man wasn’t gonna let his wallet go that easily and began fighting with Ingram. In response, Ingram pulled out a handgun and fired it into the air. When he put the gun back in his pocket, he accidentally fired it again and shot himself in the leg.

That’s when police say 17-year-old Terrione Booker pulled up in a vehicle and picked up the wounded teen. Police would pull them over later and charge them both with attempted first-degree murder and armed robbery.

Wall, NJ – One of our readers read my comment on our Facebook Page about digging up some news for today and sent me a few links, including this story out of New Jersey where two youths filmed themselves beating a homeless man for the lulz.

The video, which you can watch below, shows 20-year-old Taylor Giresi and an unidentified 17-year-old boy filming themselves assaulting David Ivins, a homeless man, in a wooded area near the Jersey shore.

Be sure to watch the video and laugh as the young man pushes the disheveled Ivins to the ground, kicks him in the face and punches him. Barely contain your glee as the two steal Ivin’s bicycle.

“No, I need my bike!” he yells after his smiling attackers who respond with a bit of holiday cheer.

“Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah or whatever the (expletive) you are,” the cameraman yells. Guffaw!

But the comedy doesn’t end there. Try to contain your fits of laughter as the young man sarcastically apologizes to Ivins, who is bleeding, and gives the poor guy a hug before kneeing him in the stomach and a flying kick to the head.…

BRYAN, TX – The crime writer accused of hiring a hitman to kill her husband is expected to be in court this morning where a judge will hear testimony and decide who gets possession of the couple’s home and vehicle while their divorce is pending.

Nancy Gelber, 53, was charged with solicitation to commit capital murder earlier this month after police said she hired an undercover officer to kill her husband and make it look like an accident. She paid him with her wedding ring with a promise of  $60,000 once her husband was in the ground and she’d collected on his insurance policy.

The couple had been married for about eight years but Joseph Gelber filed for divorce in October citing “discord or conflict of personalities” after the couple had lived apart for about a year. One day before she finalized the deal with the hitman, Nancy filed a counterpetition for divorce and asked for a temporary restraining order against Joseph and accused him of hiding money from her and sending it to other women.…

Ogden, UT - At about 5PM last Thursday, store security at WinCo Foods in Ogden, Utah, were reported to have noticed behavior consistent with shoplifting being exhibited by a man and woman in the store. Security personnel detained the pair – subsequently identified as Korin Vanhouten, 47, [pictured] and Eldon Alexander, 36 – in the store security office.

“[Store security] reviewed surveillance video and recovered stolen property from the suspects,” said Ogden Police Lt. Eric Young.

According to police, Vanhouten and Alexander had been found to be in possession of makeup, energy bars and batteries valued at about $25. Despite clear photographic evidence suggesting that the stolen items were found in Vanhouten’s rectum – sideways – they were, in fact, located in the suspects’ pockets.

Police cited the pair for attempted shoplifting and released them directly from the store.

Sadly, when Vanhouten and Alexander returned to their vehicle, they reportedly discovered that they, too, had been unwitting victims of a crime. According to police reports, the pair discovered that their car had been broken into and approximately $60 worth of items were missing.…

Lakeland, FL – A sixth-grade geography teacher at Lakeland Highlands Middle School has been charged with battery after she threw her food through the driv-thru window of a Florida McDonald’s.

According to the arrest report, 39-year-old Simone Paolercio was upset with her $20 McDonald’s order Saturday morning. She wasn’t happy with two of the hash browns she had received and was demanding a refund.

When the manager refused to refund Paolercio her money, video captures Paolercio as she hurls a bag of food back through the window, hitting an employee in the face and chest. She then proceeds to place a seemingly never-ending supply of McDonald’s breakfast items on the window sill, which fall to the floor.

She takes off before police arrive, but they eventually catch up to Paolercio at her home where she would first deny ever throwing any food at the McDonald’s worker. But unlike the manager, she couldn’t argue with the surveillance footage and was arrested on a charge of battery. She has since been released and is awaiting a trial date.…

ARLINGTON, TX – Let’s lighten things up just a bit with some video of a cart crashing into people.

An electric cart being used to pick up pylons and yard markers at Cowboys Stadium went Maximum Overdrive as it took off across the field with no driver and plowed into a group of people conducting an interview midfield.

The incident was captured on camera after a high school championship game between Spring Dekaney and Cibolo Steele on Saturday night. Dekaney coach Willie Amendola was being interviewed near the midfield when the runaway electric cart took off from the end zone and made a beeline towards the huddle consisting of about 7 to 8 people.

After plowing through the group and knocking them over like bowling pins, the cart emerged from the mass of bodies with coach Amendola now riding shotgun. He tries to steer the cart for a second before simply rolling out of it. That’s when a field worker is finally able to jump in and stop the cart.

Luckily no one was seriously injured or I may have felt a little guilty getting a chuckle out of Amendola’s reaction as he finds himself being interviewed one second, and then riding shotgun in a runaway cart headed towards the end zone the next.…

LETHBRIDGE, Canada — Here’s a story out of Canada proving to our readers that jealous ex-boyfriends with guns who go on a murder spree are not specific to the good ol’ US of A.

Police say early Thursday morning, 21-year-old Derek Jensen was out looking for his ex-girlfriend, 21-year-old Tabitha Stepple, after Jensen went “berserk” when he saw her with friends at a bar Wednesday night.

Stepple was at the bar celebrating Tanner Craswell’s 22nd birthday with her friend 21-year-old Shayna Conway and Craswell’s best friend, 20-year-old Mitchell MacLean. The group left after Jensen confronted them, pushing Stepple out of her chair and yelling at her like a giant douche. He then tried calling her over and over again, leaving an ominous message that stated “This night’s not going to end well for you. I hope you know that.”

Jensen and Stepple

Jensen would self-fulfill his prophecy later that night as Conway and Stepple drove to Calgary airport to drop off Craswell and MacLean so they could catch a flight back home for Christmas.…

New York, NY – Things seem to happen in threes around here, and horrifying elevator deaths are no exception. Within the last week or so, we’ve reported on two separate incidents of women becoming the victim of a malfunctioning elevator and dying in a way best reserved for the worst of nightmares.

On Saturday, a 73-year-old woman in New York died in an elevator, but this was not because of a mechanical malfunction. The poor woman was murdered in one of the most horrifying ways imaginable after a man sprayed her with with a flammable liquid and then set her on fire.

Surveillance footage captures Delores Gillespie as she is about to step out of an elevator on the fifth floor of her apartment building when 47-year-old Jerome Isaac barges in wearing what looks like an exterminator’s outfit. He immediately begins spraying Gillespie in the face and body with some type of flammable liquid from a canister he is carrying.

As the elderly woman retreats to the back of the elevator in an attempt to protect herself, Isaac lights a rag stuffed inside a bottle and uses the flame to set Gillespie on fire before tossing the Molotov cocktail into the elevator.…

Las Vegas, NV – Grief counselors were at a Las Vegas elementary school last Wednesday after one of their schoolmates was found dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

Last Tuesday afternoon, police responded to a home on a call of a boy who had been shot. Inside the home they would find 10-year-old Kameron Asgari dead from what police are now saying was a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

There have been little in way of details regarding the shooting or the events that lead up to Asgari deciding to end his life. The only info I could find was that he was a fifth-grader at Helen Jydstrup Elementary School where friends say he was “smart, intelligent, and he had lots of friends.

No word on bullying, disciplinary issues, or possible abuse at this point but the really odd thing about this story is that Asgari wasn’t the only kid in Vegas to shoot themselves that day.

Nine hours after Asgari killed himself, a 13-year-old girl tried to do the same thing but survived the shooting.…

Emington, Ill – Residents of a small farming community 80 miles southwest of Chicago are still dealing with the horrifying events that unfolded in their neighborhood Friday, when a woman shot her boyfriend and three children to death before turning the gun on herself.

Shortly after kids had arrived home from school to start their Christmas break, people reported hearing a series of gunshots coming from the home of 30-year-old Sara McMeen.

One of McMeen’s neighbors told the press that after hearing the gunfire she ran out of her home and saw McMeen in her backyard standing over her daughter, 10-month-old Maggie Warren. The baby was wrapped in a blanket and lying on the ground as if she had been dropped. The neighbor, whose backyard butted up against McMeen’s backyard, asked if everything was all right.

“No, everything is not all right,” McMeen reportedly told the neighbor before bending over at the waist and shooting her baby at point-blank range. Horrified, the neighbor ran for help only to find McMeen lying beside her infant when she returned, dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.…

LaPorte, IN — Tonya Torres, 20, is in custody after orchestrating a rooftop playdate for her two toddlers and a dog. It did not go so smoothly.

On November 25, police reported that a witness saw a 2-year-old girl, her 3-year-old brother and a dog on the roof of a house in town. The witness then saw the girl fall from the roof and land on concrete steps below. A man reportedly rushed to the child’s aid, scooping her up. According to court documents, Torres came out on the roof and, after seeing that the girl had fallen to the ground, asked the man holding her to ‘throw her back up.’

Oddly, the man refused – reportedly necessitating that Torres hump her ass down the stairs to retrieve the girl. The girl was reportedly taken to the hospital where she, thankfully, was found to have no injuries.

The lack of injuries may seem miraculous. Perhaps a bit of background is in order…

Police were called early last year when, according to court documents, the boy showed up at the hospital having ingested an oxycodone pill.…