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In The Mean Time...

ATLANTA, Ga. - Police have shot a woman to death after they found her sitting in a chair stabbing her daughter repeatedly and refusing to stop.

Police were called to the unidentified woman’s home after she threw her 8-year-old son out of a window. The boy ran to a neighbor asking for help, saying that his mother was trying to kill him.

When police arrived at the home and broke down the door, they found the woman sitting in a chair repeatedly stabbing her young, disabled daughter. Police ordered her to stop, but she refused and police opened fire.

Police have not said if the 4-year-old girl was struck by a bullet, but did report between 10 to 16 shots were fired. Both the woman and her daughter died at the scene, while the boy who was tossed out a window only suffered minor injuries.

No word on a motive, but a neighbor told reporters the woman had issues and was going through some hard times, unable to afford electricity, rent or even food.…

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Dayton, OH – I was going to post this last week, but I still cannot find an official news report. Supposedly, a man is being sued by his ex-girlfriend after tattooing a steaming pile of shit on her back.

Tattoo artist Ryan Fitzjerald is being sued by his now ex-girlfriend after tricking her into getting the crappy tatt you can see here. This was reportedly in response to his discovering that she cheated on him with his best friend.

Civil suit documents say that Fitzjerald offered to tattoo a scene from the Narnia trilogy on ex-girlfriend Rossie Brovent’s back – a tattoo that she reportedly ‘always wanted.’ What she got instead was flies swarming around poop. Wait… isn’t that a Narnia scene?

Brovent first tried to have Fitzjerald charged with assault, but Fitzjerald produced a consent form she had signed agreeing that the design of her tattoo would be “at the artist’s discretion.”

According to Brovents, “He tricked me by drinking a bottle of cheap wine with me and doing tequila shots before I signed it and got the tattoo.”

Brovents is now seeking yet another pile from Fitzjerald, suing him for $100,000.…

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WEST PHILADELPHIA, PA  -  Three 4th grade students at Bryant Elementary School have been arrested and charged with sexually assaulting an 8-year-old classmate.

The victim’s mother says her son was attacked by the three boys in a school bathroom sometime at the end of October. Her son had already had issues with the accused, and had reported their bullying to the school a few weeks before this latest incident.

The 8-year-old is an advanced student and in the same classes as his 10-year-old attackers. On the day of the assault he had asked for permission to use the restroom and was followed by the three other boys who allegedly sexually assaulted him once inside the bathroom.

The school investigated the assault but said that aside from school policy being broken in regards to the students being allowed to go to the bathroom together, they could only find evidence of bullying and suspended the three boys for five days.

But after the Philadelphia Police Special Victims Unit got involved and interviewed everyone involved, the three attackers were charged as juveniles with attempted rape, unlawful restraint and indecent sexual assault.…

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Readsboro, VT - Investigators say Timothy Bolognani, 49, died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound moments after discovering that he had accidentally shot and killed his friend and hunting partner, Benjamin Birch, 39.

Bolognani, Birch, and a third friend, Mark Colford, had been hunting Saturday when the incident occurred. Police investigators said that the three men were tracking a deer Birch had shot. While separated, Bolognani fired his rifle reportedly causing Birch to cry out.

State police investigators said that Bolognani and Colford found Birch lying on the ground where he died. Investigators added that Bolognani then used his rifle to immediately take his own life.

“These guys were best friends and professional hunters,” Birch’s mother told news reporters.

The deceased hunters were taken to the office of the Chief Medical Examiner for autopsy. According to police, no foul play is suspected.

I can certainly imagine the grief that he felt…  but people need to count to ten or breathe or something.  Suicide-on-impulse is just a really bad idea.…

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Cleveland, OH – People who abuse the defenseless absolutely sicken me, especially people like Virgen Caraballo. She was a nurse’s aide trained to care for her elderly patients who, along with others at Prentiss Center Nursing Home, were caught on camera abusing an elderly woman.

Esther Piskor, 78, suffers from Alzheimer’s and has been a patient at the facility for over three years. The abuse she was suffering at the hands of her caregivers came to light when her son noticed a red mark on his mother’s face and the fact that she raised her hand in a defensive manner when he came towards her.

Suspecting abuse, he set up a hidden camera in his mother’s room and captured 45-year-old Virgen Caraballo and other aides abusing his mother. The video clearly captured Carabello slinging Piskor on the bed or in her chair and slapping her in the face. Other video showed aides screaming at Piskor or standing by as the abuse was happening.

Caraballo was arrested and charged with felony assault along with a second nurse’s aide, Maria Karban, who was caught spraying body perfume in Piskor’s face. …

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ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — I hate a thief, I truly do. But sometimes, depending on what was stolen, you really need to evaluate your best course of action. For example, kidnapping a teen at gunpoint because his friend stole your weed is probably not in your best interest.

Just ask 19-year-old Jonathon Escobar. Police say he was with a couple of other teens smoking pot when one of them grabbed his drugs and ran. Enraged, Escobar allegedly held a gun to a 14-year-old passenger’s head and told him he was now responsible for paying for the drugs his friend just ran off with.

The younger boy told Escobar to relax and to take him to his mother’s house where he would get him his money. The thing is, the boy’s mother lived inside Kitland Air Force Base. So when they arrived at the security gate, the younger boy jumped out of the car and air force security apprehended Escobar.

He’s now out of his drugs as well as facing charges of kidnapping, robbery and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.…

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Hereford Township, PA — Not a lot of information on this one, but 39-year-old Richard Marsolick was jailed after police accused him of raping his 6-year-old daughter and her 9-year-old friend earlier this month.

According to police, Marsolick, along with his son and daughter, had checked into Cab Frye’s Motel after losing power at their house due to a hellacious snowstorm on October 31.

Police say they were registered at the hotel until November 4. At some point during their stay, Marsolick’s daughter had one of her friends stay with them for a night. It was during that overnight stay that Marsolick allegedly had sexual contact with both girls.

Investigators have not specified who made the accusations and under what circumstances, saying only that the allegations were just recently brought to their attention. Charges were filed after interviews with both girls.

Marsolick is being held in lieu of $750,000 bail, charged with rape, involuntary deviate sexual intercourse with a child, statutory sexual assault, aggravated indecent assault, incest, corruption of minors, indecent assault, endangering welfare of children, sexual assault and indecent exposure.…

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Seville, FL — A disgruntled and frustrated John is accused of kidnapping an ugly hooker’s 1-year-old daughter after said hooker reportedly failed to “finish the job.”

According to police, while at a drug and alcohol-infused party Thursday evening, Carlos Rivera, 23, paid $2.00 an unknown amount of money to have sex with the child’s mother, 30-year-old Leah Wiley. Everything was supposedly all hunky dory until Wiley was called out of the room, leaving Rivera hanging and blue.

Instead of asking the hooker for a rain-check, refund, or 50% off coupon good on his next visit, Rivera apparently decided to walk off with the woman’s child at about 7:00 Friday morning. That’ll teach her!

With no food, water or other provisions, police say Rivera carried the child across U.S. Highway 17 and headed north. Along the way, though, Rivera worried that he might get in trouble for disappearing with the kid, so he left her in a field near a wooded area and hitched a ride outta there. He later called 911 to report the child missing. …

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Marathon, FL –Maykel Borges, 32, was jailed on assault charges late last week after allegedly swinging a hatchet at a neighbor who refused to give him beer.

Witnesses told police Borges had been walking through the Trailerama mobile-home park all day Friday asking residents for beer. He was reportedly given several beers throughout the day, but when his kind neighbors had had enough and told him to go away, Borges got pissy. He left, but soon returned with hatchet in hand.

Borges apparently began arguing with people in the park upon his return, and at one point allegedly swung the hatchet at one man, cutting him on the side with it. Borges then dropped the weapon and ran.

Borges was arrested at his trailer Friday night, charged with aggravated assault and aggravated battery and booked into jail. Bond was set at $175,000.

The victim was treated at the hospital and released.

I’d spork my neighbor for an ice cold Arrogant Bastard Ale right about now. Just kiddin’…my neighbors drink Hamm’s.…

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Carlisle, PA – Donald Gross, 36, called police to report that he was being held hostage by a motorcycle gang at the Applebee’s restaurant at Carlisle Commons Shopping Mall last week. The ransom: $250.

Police responded, but were unable to find Gross or the rogue motorcycle gang. Police began a search of the area and reportedly found Gross leaving a nearby movie theater.

Police said that Gross admitted to lying about the hostage crisis. Police also determined that Gross was had an outstanding warrant on a charge of retail theft – something that they never would have known, of course, if the bonehead hadn’t called them about a hostage crisis.

Carlisle police transported Gross by patrol car to Cumberland County Prison for processing during which Gross reportedly spat to such a degree that the car had to be placed out of service until it could be cleaned.

Gross, indeed.…

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BOSTON — A University of Utah professor was arrested on Saturday after being accused of watching child porn on his laptop while on a Delta flight from Utah to Boston.

A passenger sitting behind 47-year-old Grant D. Smith, a professor of material science and engineering, witnessed Smith watching the alleged child porn and took a picture of him with their cell phone while also notifying the flight crew.

Once the plane landed at Boston Logan International Airport, police were waiting for Smith and asked to see his laptop. After a bit of searching, police say they discovered “disturbing images of child pornography.”

Smith was arrested and charged with possession of child pornography. Instead of attending  a conference for the Material Research Society, the father of two was placed in jail on a $15,000 bond and was still there as of this morning. The university has placed him on administrative leave, stating he would be fired if the allegations turned out to be true.

If the accusations are true, and Smith was watching child porn on a laptop while in the first class section of a Delta airplane, then he’s definitely one of the dumber criminals we have ever posted about on this site.…

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Newport, TN — Police and paramedics were called to the home of a 38-year-old man Wednesday night in response to a rather bizarre stabbing incident – the man of the house apparently poked himself in the gut with a turkey thermometer to see if he was “done.”

The man in question, Scott Kelly, was found lying on a sofa in the home with a small stab wound in his gut.

When questioned, Kelly reportedly told officers he was “basting himself” and just wanted to be left alone. He then explained that he had stuck the thermometer into his stomach “to check his temperature, and to determine if he was done or not.”

Why, yes, alcohol was involved! How did you guess?

Kelly’s girlfriend told police the man had consumed a fifth of liquor and eight or nine beers before jabbing himself with the thermometer. Based on that information, I’m assuming Kelly was, in fact, done. Well done, even.

Kelly was transported to the hospital for treatment and a mental evaluation.…

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Bethlehem, PA — A 27-year-old man is facing multiple charges after police say he tried to abduct a woman at gunpoint earlier this week.

According to police, Michael Arce approached the woman, identified as 42-year-old Sarah Brenner, as she was jogging Wednesday afternoon. Brenner told police Arce stepped in front of her and said, “I want to ask you something.” She said she got scared and tried to go around him, but Arce pulled out a gun and grabbed her arm.

Brenner reported that when she screamed for help, Arce said, “Don’t make a fuss or I will kill you.” She said he then put her in the back seat of his BMW and hit the child-safety lock as he got into the front seat.

It was right about then that Arce’s wife, Ana Arce, pulled up next to his vehicle and questioned him about the woman in the back seat. Arce reportedly told his wife that he was simply giving Brenner a ride, police said, and unlocked the back door to let Brenner out.…

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Man Accused Of Severing Relative’s Hand With Sword

November 25, 2011 at 5:15 pm by  

Flagstaff, AZ — Dustin Banbury, 21, was arrested on suspicion of attempted murder and aggravated assault Tuesday after police say he chopped off a relative’s hand with a Samurai-type sword.

Deputies responding to a 911 call about a critically injured man arrived at the victim’s home just before 11 p.m. and found the 33-year-old victim inside the residence with a severed right hand, numerous slash wounds to his torso and a deep laceration on his forehead. A blood covered sword was found in the man’s bedroom.

Police allege Banbury and the unidentified victim were in the trailer together when the victim fell asleep. Banbury reportedly exited the trailer as the victim slept, walked to his own trailer and, for whatever reason, retrieved the sword. When he returned, sh*t got bloody.

Banbury was taken into custody at the scene and is being held without bond. The victim was flown to Flagstaff Medical Center, where he is listed in stable condition.

The motive behind the alleged attack is still unknown.

First thought when I read the headline: “Damn!…

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Wangaratta, Australia – Two years ago, Kerry Anne McNiven, 44, got drunk at a party and passed out. Gary Stewart, who was reported to have been a friend of McNiven for 10 years, took unfortunate advantage of the situation and touched her breasts ‘inappropriately.’ According to testimony, this act was witnessed by McNiven’s partner and three other people. McNiven’s partner, Ray Fleming, told the other three not to tell her because he knew she would be ‘upset.‘ A week later, the same crew was partying again. It was then that one of the three witnesses to the groping told McNiven about what Stewart had done.

Did she get upset? You decide…

According to court records, after mother-of-three McNiven was told of Stewart’s actions, she filled a container with a gasoline-oil mixture and placed it inside a shopping bag she was carrying. She then invited Stewart, pictured on the right, to walk to a nearby river. When they reached the river, they sat down at a boat ramp and continued to talk and drink.…

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Black Friday Shopper Pepper Sprays Rivals At Walmart

November 25, 2011 at 4:00 pm by  

Los Angeles, CA — Now that the turkey has settled, and because you couldn’t pay me to set foot in a retail store today, I figured I’d get a couple stories posted before slipping back into a food coma.

In what officials are calling “shopping rage,” an unidentified woman, trying to get her grubby paws on more sale items, sprayed as many as 20 other shoppers with pepper spray at the Walmart in Porter Ranch late Thursday night.

According to police Sgt. Jose Valle, store employees had brought out a crate of discounted Xbox 360s, and as the crowd waited for the unwrapping, the woman began spraying people “in order to get an advantage.”

Ten people were slightly injured by the pepper spray and 10 others suffered minor bumps and bruises in the chaos, Valle said. They were treated at the scene.

“People could have gotten trampled,” said Valle. “Good thing there were no small kids.”

The woman apparently used the spray tactic in other areas of the store as well, but no other injuries have been reported.…

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Illinois – Police arrested an 18-year-old drunk chick who crashed her car on Saturday because, according to police, she was upset over her boyfriend not taking her to see that crappy Twilight movie.

Olivia Ornelas, 18, was charged with drunken driving and unlawful consumption of alcohol by a minor after her car was found in a ditch at 12:04 a.m. Saturday morning. The car she was trying to drive while “extremely intoxicated” was missing a front right tire.

She reportedly told deputies that she had ended up in the roadside ditch because her boyfriend had upset her when he didn’t take her to see the new Twilight movie as planned.

I gotta commend the boyfriend if he bailed on this loopy broad on purpose as sometimes the vagina just isn’t worth the hassle. Hell, Sofía Vergara could ask me to go to the new Twilight movie and my immediate response would be me telling her to go f*ck herself.

I know, I know… it’s almost cliche to hate on Twilight.…

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Bronx, NY — Newly married and a father of two, 28-year-old Fernando Brazier took a flying leap into the Harlem River Sunday morning, just hours after exchanging wedding vows with his long-time lover.

Brazier apparently left a suicide note at the front desk of the Radisson Hotel, where the couple had spent their first night as newlyweds, telling his wife where his body could be found.

According to police, Brazier then took a taxi to a building bordering the Bronx River, about 15 minutes away, and either jumped from the building or from the promenade behind it. His body was found near Roberto Clemente State Park, slightly upstream from where he’s believed to have jumped, later that same day.

“He said [in the note] he couldn’t take it anymore, and to take care of the kids,” said Shawna Weeks, Brazier’s sister. “He left his ring in the envelope.”

Family members say Brazier had been suffering from depression in the weeks leading up to the wedding. And though he sincerely loved his bride-to-be, 26-year-old Trudian Hay, he apparently didn’t want to tie the knot.…

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