In The Mean Time...
NEWPORT BEACH, CA – Last year we reported on 41-year-old Jose Guadalupe Jimenez, the man who abducted and raped a 12-year-old girl while dressed as a clown. On Wednesday, he was sentenced to 10 years in prison after he pleaded guilty to one felony count of a lewd act upon a child under 14 and one felony count of a forcible lewd act on a child under 14.
For those of you who missed this story, the 12-year-old victim was abducted from a fast food stand in 2002 by a man dressed as a clown. The clown took her to a nearby school parking lot and raped her in his van before taking her to a motel where he sexually assaulted her again. When the clown left the girl alone to talk to a motel clerk, the girl escaped and contacted police.
The case would remain open for nine years because the girl could only describe her attacker as a man dressed as a clown. With no other leads, all investigators could do was collect DNA and store it in their database.…
PALM DESERT, CA — A woman in California is claiming it is unfair that she was turned down for a job at a Tilted Kilt restaurant because she could not fit into their uniform.
I don’t know if any of you are aware of this chain of restaurants, but Tilted Kilt is like Hooters, but it’s Celtic-themed and the girls wear short kilts. The food is also better than Hooters, but that’s not saying much as any public school cafeteria has better food than Hooters.
Anyway, one of the restaurants is hiring new girls after being closed for over a year, and 20-year-old Jennifer Rogers applied for one of the positions. That’s not her in the picture, btw. This is Jennifer — I just couldn’t pass up a chance to post an image of a brunette with big tits.
After making it through the initial hiring process, it came down to Jennifer trying on the Tilted Kilt uniform. They come in three sizes, but Rogers could squeeze into any of them.…
Detroit, MI – Heidi Peterson and her year-old daughter returned to their home in the Boston-Edison District of Detroit after a year-long absence to find that a squatter who goes by the name of Missionary-Tracey Elaine Blair had been living there for a few months.
Blair, who, based on her name, must prefer the more conventional methods of sexual intercourse, disputes that she is a squatter because she believes she has a lease. Of course, she also considers herself a write-in candidate for president, so there’s that.
The lease matter aside, Blair contends that the house had been abandoned and that is presumably why she felt she had the right to change the locks, replace the appliances, rework the plumbing, put a construction lien on the home, and hang pictures throughout the house. A construction lien, for those who don’t know, is intended to guarantee contractors that they will be paid for work completed on a given house.
“She thinks that this is a program in Detroit to take people’s homes and fix them up and then she gets to keep them,” Peterson said.…
Milwaukee, WI – An investigation into illegal rectal and strip searches on Milwaukee streets and police stations has resulted in felony charges against four police officers: Michael Vagnini (pictured), Jeffery Dollhopf, Jacob Knight, and Brian Kozelek.
The most egregious complaints involve one incident where a gun was allegedly put to a suspect’s head while two officers held his arms and another placed him in a choke hold, jamming a few fingers in the man’s anus in what was assumed to be a search for evidence. A second similar incident caused a man to bleed from his hind quarters for days after an illegal search.
The main suspect, Vagnini, is the only one who is facing sexual assault charges, and has racked up four counts, each carrying a possible sentence of 25 years in prison. He’s also had 25 other, less serious charges leveled against him. He is accused of conducting multiple illegal searches where he inspected men’s scrotal areas and anuses, sometimes inserting his fingers without the benefit of gloves. One suspect also claims that Vagnini planted drugs on him.…
WARRENSVILLE HEIGHTS, OH — Police say that a girl being teased about her farting ended with a 16-year-old girl dead and a 16-year-old girl charged with her murder.
Last Wednesday police received several 911 calls reporting some kids fighting while some adults watched. “It’s some kids that’s fighting, and it’s adults, grown-ups — they’re watching them fight,” the caller told dispatch. Not long after, another 911 call was made, but this time it was to report one of the girls involved had fallen down and was having trouble breathing.
By time police arrived on the scene, the fight had already been broken up and EMS were on the scene trying to revive an unresponsive 16-year-old Shaakira Dorsey. She was rushed to the hospital but would be pronounced dead. Her cause of death has not been released.
Police questioned Shaakira’s stepfather, who had been one of the adults watching the altercation, but he did not tell officers about the fight. He only told them that Shaakira was “pacing back and forth” in front of the apartments before she fell face forward onto the grass.…
Los Angeles, CA – Yongda Huang Harris, 28, was detained and arrested at LAX airport on Friday after customs officials found a cache of weapons and gear in his checked baggage and on his body that might come in handy in say, I dunno, a horrific attack?
Harris is a naturalized U.S. citizen of Chinese descent. He makes his permanent home in Boston, though he has been living in Japan. Last week, he was traveling from Kansai, Japan to Los Angeles via Inchon, Korea. It is believed that his final destination was Boston, but considering what he was carrying, who knows?
Harris was singled out by a customs agent for a secondary inspection based upon the fact that he was wearing a bulletproof vest. When asked if he had anything to declare, Harris mentioned that he had a knife. Full inspection of the bag revealed a smoke grenade capable of filling a 40,000 cubic foot space with smoke, four leather-coated blackjack billy-clubs, a collapsible baton, a full-face respirator, several knifes, a hatchet, body bags, a tyvex biohazard suit, various masks, duct tape, hand cuffs, leg irons, flex cuffs, oven mitts and cooking tongs.…
Pittsburgh, PA — Last week we reported on the juvenile who sucker punched a Kansas City Metro bus driver (he was eventually caught and charged with assault) and now we have a similar incident out of Pittsburgh, where a 15-year-old was arrested after surveillance cameras captured him sucker punching a teacher in a downtown alley.
Jim Addlespurger is a 50-year-old English teacher at Creating and Performing Arts School. Last Thursday, in the middle of the day, he was walking down an alley when he passed by six teens coming from the opposite direction. As the surveillance video below shows, one of the teens steps in Addlespurger’s path and then sucker punches him in the face.
No one was in the other’s way, and no words had been exchanged before the cowardly assault. “It appears to be a random act but this juvenile has a track record, already has, for example, a probation officer,” said Joanna Doven, spokeswoman for Mayor Luke Ravenstahl.
After eating the teen’s fist, Addlespurger can be seen toppling to the ground, striking his face and head on the curb while the teens nonchalantly walk away, laughing.…
Dallas, TX – 19-year-old Cory Weddington III was charged early Sunday morning with public intoxication, resisting arrest, and assault on a public servant after he was thrown out of Havana Bar & Grill for being underage.
I’m here to tell you that this faux-hawk-sporting, faggy-first-named, no-muscle-having wuss who looks like he’s wearing lipstick has no regard for the sanctity of testicles. Any real man knows that a dude never attacks another dude’s nuts unless he is pretty friggin’ sure he’s going to be killed if he doesn’t. That’s the male code, and it doesn’t surprise me in the least that this fairy doesn’t know it.
Weddington had clearly been throwing a couple back that night when the bar employees made him leave; supposedly because he was underage, but I’m guessing it was more because he was being an irritating little prick. “Little Sissy Pants” (my pet name for him) reportedly refused to leave the premises until he’d gotten his credit card back.
I remember the time when, if you wanted to keep a tab open at a bar, you had to leave your credit card with the bartender until you were finished drinking. …
Roswell, NM – Stop signs are a pain in my balls and, as far as I’m concerned, they deserve whatever vitriol one might deem appropriate. Raymond Garcia, 45, apparently has a similar take on them. In fact, he was reportedly engaged in a heated argument with one at about 2 AM on Friday when police approached him, presumably to help the two come to a mutual understanding.
Garcia was having none of that. I mean, look at his friggin’ mugshot. Does that look like the kind of guy who’s going to take any flack from some fairy-ass stop sign?
He reportedly became belligerent toward the officers, and then ran away. Naturally, the police tasered him, as they are wont to do, but the darts seemed to have little effect, as Garcia proceeded to kick at them with reckless abandon. So, they darted his non-compliant ass again. He reportedly broke the leads off, relieved one of the officers of his baton, and started swinging it at them.
Back to the drawing board, right? …
Two brothers have been arrested, and 14 high school students suspended, after a 17-year-old boy was sexually assaulted at a teen drinking party.
According to reports, a party was being held at a home on Sept 8. in which 60 to 80 teenagers and young adults attended. The 17-year-old victim showed up at around 10 p.m. and was passed out drunk on a couch within an hour. Of course, being the first person to pass out at a party is always bad news as you are just asking to get messed with. It’s tradition.
Unfortunately for this kid, a large number of football players from Homer High School were also in attendance. That always spells bad news for any passed out, straight male because whenever a bunch of drunk jocks get together, you can be guaranteed faggotry will be afoot.
At first the kid got the usual shaming treatment in the form of multiple people writing things on him. But after 18-year-old Joseph Resetarits (pictured), one of the high school football players, shaved the letter “M” in his hair, the crowd got bored. …
Sandycreek Township, PA – Zachary James Proper has been charged with killing his paternal grandparents because he says they had called his mother a whore and were “speaking poorly about her.” He was arraigned today as an adult. He has reportedly admitted to committing the murders.
Apparently, Proper’s parents were worried that their son had gotten high and drunk and stolen his grandparents’ car, but I’m imagining they didn’t suspect a double-murder was in the mix. Though Proper lived ten miles away in Oil City, he was accustomed to spending a fair amount of time with the Frosses in their home.
On Monday night, police found Dorothy Fross, 67, and George Fross, 69, dead in their house when they followed up on a well-being check requested by their son, Zachary Proper’s father. Both had been shot.
An affidavit asserts that, on Sunday, Proper used bolt cutters to break into a gun safe in his grandparents’ home, taking a handgun. His grandmother was home, but his grandfather was out at the store. …
Thetford, UK – A 19-year-old British man has been placed in custody after admitting in court to microwaving a cat until it died. Jamie Blake was charged by Bury St Edmunds Magistrates’ Court with causing unnecessary suffering to a protected animal. The details leading up to the killing, though, are sure to exonerate him.
The cat, paradoxically named “Buddy,” was reportedly informally adopted by Blake while he was staying at a group home in Thetford, UK. Blake said he would keep the cat in his room for company at night, feeding it cheese and tuna. According to reports, Blake told the court that the cat then started talking to him.
Did it say “Thank you for the cheese and tuna!” you ask? Of course not. It’s a cat. It’s evil.
According to Blake, what Buddy did say is that his mother’s dead ex-partner was, in fact, injecting his mother with heroin. The defendant, who has been described as having ‘mental health issues,’ then reportedly started arguing with the cat. As anyone who has argued with a cat can tell you, this proved pointless.…
FORT COLLINS, CO — Police in Colorado have charged a woman with second-degree murder after they say she slit her fiancé’s throat during an argument.
Police arrested 23-year-old (!) Nicole Marie Ryan on Friday after Ryan called 911 to report she had hurt her “husband” during an argument. Turned out that this was a bit of an understatement as when police arrived, they found that Ryan had turned her man into a Pez dispenser.
He was rushed to the hospital suffering from a severe knife wound to his neck, but he died on the way to the hospital. The victim’s name has not been released at this time because his next-of-kin have not been notified. Police say they are having a hard time identifying any of the man’s family as he lived a transient lifestyle.
The incident happened in a basement bedroom of a home the couple shared with Ryan’s mother, brother and another roommate. No one else was at home at the time, according to police, but they are asking anyone with any information to call Detective Keith Maynard at (970) 221-6540.…
DEERFIELD BEACH, FL — Shortly after Edward Archbold won a cockroach eating contest at Ben Siegel Reptile Store, he collapsed in front of the store and died.
The 32-year-old had been participating the store’s second annual Midnight Madness sale that included a cockroach eating contest. The winner of the contest would be the proud owner of an $850 Ivory ball python which, if he won it, Archbold had planned on selling to the friend who brought him there.
Around 30 people were compteting for the python, but Archbold was victorious after downing dozens of cockroaches and worms. His victory was short lived, however, as after the contest was over Archbold became ill and started throwing up. I have seen some horrific vomit in my life, some of it my own, but just thinking of what came back out of Archbold’s mouth almost trips my gag reflex.
Paramedics ended up being called to the scene after Archbold collapsed in front of the store. He was taken to the hospital where he was later pronounced dead. …
St. Petersburg, FL – Donnie McLendon, 26, was taken to the hospital on Saturday morning suffering from a gunshot wound to the head he sustained during a game of Russian Roulette.
McLendon and two friends, Daniel McKee and Thomas Rady, were reportedly drinking, smoking weed, and playing
Polish Russian Roulette with a 44-caliber handgun loaded with a single bullet. A 44? That’s playing for keeps, yo.
The victim was the third participant to take his turn. When he pulled the trigger, statistical probability became his absolute worst enemy.
Police arrived at the scene and noted a trail of blood leading to the exterior of the home. McKee’s girlfriend, who had been sleeping in another room at the time of the
idiocy incident, told cops that McLendon had been taken to the hospital.
McKee and Rady originally told officers that an interloper had entered the house and shot McLendon in the head, dropping the weapon on his way out the door. They probably thought better of their implausible story, however, and came clean about their friendly game of “watch your buddy commit suicide.”
McLendon remains in critical condition. …
Havelock, NC — A 30-year-old woman in North Carolina was arrested after it was discovered she gave her 11-year-old daughter a heart tattoo on her shoulder.
Odessa Clay was charged in late September with tattooing a person under the age of 18 after police learned of the tattoo. Clay admitted to giving her daughter the tattoo late last year because she says, “she asked me to do it.”
Clay, who sports quite a few tattoos of her own, as evident by her mugshot, was unapologetic when describing ho she used her own tools and numbed her daughter’s arm before placing the permanent heart on her pre-teen daughter’s shoulder. But it’s not like she was a complete moron. “I didn’t fill it in,” she said.
Clay says she thought tattoos were like like ear-piercings in that they were perfectly legal for 11-year-olds as long as the parent gave consent. She also stopped breathing through her mouth long enough to add that she believes her ex in-law reported the tattoo in retaliation after she filed a complaint against her daughter’s paternal grandfather.…
Westminster, CO — Twelve different Colorado agencies have expanded their search for 10-year-old Jessica Ridgeway after the missing girl’s backpack was found six miles from her home.
Jessica was last seen Friday morning after leaving her home to walk three blocks to Chelsea Park where she was to meet with friends and then walk to Witt Elementary School. When Jessica never made it to the park, her classmates continued on without her. By 10 that morning, police called her home but her mother, who worked nights, was sleeping. It wasn’t until she woke up eight hours later that she called police after hearing the message informing her Jessica was not at school.
Around 1 a.m. Sunday a man and his wife returned to their home in a neighborhood over six miles away and noticed a backpack on the sidewalk that wasn’t there when they left earlier. It stuck out, but because kids leave items around the neighborhood occasionally, it wasn’t so out of place that they went to investigate. When it was still there the next day, the man and a neighbor looked inside the backpack and found a set of keys and a water bottles with “Jessica Ridgeway” written on them.…
Orlando, FL – Christopher Hunter (pictured, and yeah, that’s a dude), 21, was arrested on Friday after allegedly stabbing his soon-to-be ex-boyfriend, Marcus Thomas, in the left buttock.
According to Thomas, who had reportedly been in an intimate relationship with Hunter for a few months, he was attempting to break up with Hunter to pursue a life absent of dude-on-dude action. Hunter allegedly responded to the news with “that’s not going to happen.”
Reports indicate that Hunter stood in the doorway in an attempt to block Thomas’s exit and, when Thomas attempted to get past, Hunter slashed his arm and turd-cutter with a knife.
Hunter’s story was that Thomas had asked him for ten dollars to purchase some cocaine (crack, I’m guessing from the dollar amount), but that Hunter turned him down. A struggle ensued, Thomas pushed him into a wall, Hunter grabbed a knife to defend himself, and their explorations into butt-stabbing got presumably bloodier than normal.
Police weren’t buying that story though, based on the fact that Hunter weighs 190 pounds and stands six feet tall while Thomas is 5’10” and weighs 165. …