In The Mean Time...
Staten Island, NY — A 42-year-old man is facing numerous charges after allegedly molesting a 15-year-old girl by rubbing raw meat on her naked body in order to cleanse her of the evil spirits that were making her moody.
Alleged “spiritual leader” Rafael Paulino, aka Omi Chango, apparently met with a female relative of the teen and explained that he would rub raw meat on the girl’s body and pour water on her after he had cut her clothes off in order to spiritually cleanse her. This ritual, he told the woman, was not for entertainment or amusement. He was simply going to attempt to rid the child of the evil spirit that was making her depressed.
The female relative agreed to the cleansing and shelled out $121. It is believed that she wanted a cleansing, too. Not sure if that was the price for the both of ‘em, or if maybe he was having a special that week.
On February 24, Paulino met with the girl and got busy fixin’ her depression.…Continue Reading
Police received a call from the infant’s hysterical 17-year-old mother Thursday, who stated that her child was bleeding profusely from the nose. Or what was left of it, anyway….
An examination of the child revealed a skull fracture, a brain hemorrhage and the injury to the nose. They soon learned that the child’s father, Joshua Cooper, was the responsible party. Police determined Joshua chewed on the kid’s face because he wouldn’t shut up.
He’s been charged with child cruelty and aggravated mayhem. The investigation to determine how the child sustained the skull fracture and brain hemorrhage is ongoing.
The infant is said to be in stable condition.…Continue Reading
PHOENIX, AZ — Police arrested 27-year-old Andrew Ward after he admitted he’d stabbed his 12-year-old half-brother to death in the family’s home.
On Wednesday morning, Andrew Ward called 911 from a convenience store claiming he had stabbed someone without going into any further details. When police arrived and detained Andrew, he had blood on his hands and clothes, had a knife in his pocket, and appeared out of it.
He told police the person he stabbed could be found in his family’s home nearby. When police entered the home, they found Andrew’s younger brother, 12-year-old Austin Tapia, dead from multiple stab wounds.
At about this time, the mother arrived home with her two teenage daughters and was informed that her older son had killed Austin. She told police they were returning from dinner and that Austin had opted not to go with them. She said as they were leaving, they saw Andrew returning home on foot.
Family members said Andrew has a history of violence and substance abuse, but police said Ward told them nothing happened between him and Austin that led to him stabbing the boy as he played video games.…Continue Reading
Not a lot of info on this one, but what the hell… I’m on a severed penis roll. wOOt.
The unidentified man, said to be “in a clear state of distress,” was apparently searching for his missing penis in some undergrowth when he was discovered by a passing motorist early Thursday morning.
Although police were hesitant to say out right that the man had his dick violently removed, they were forced to close a long stretch of the road for a few hours to conduct what appears to be a search for a missing penis. No word on whether it ever surfaced.
An unidentified 22-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of assault and questioned, but was soon released on bail. No further information on that, either.
Investigators still haven’t been able to speak the the alleged victim, coma and blood loss and all, but are asking the public to come forward with any information.…Continue Reading
Maryland – Police say two Maryland teenagers recorded themselves physically assaulting an autistic classmate and forcing him to perform sex acts, some with animals.
St. Mary County Sheriff’s Department said 17-year-old Lauren Bush and an unidentified 15-year-old girl admitted they assaulted the 16-year-old autistic boy with a knife on multiple occasions between December and February.
Sheriff Tim Cameron said all three teens attend Chopticon High School and that the girls preyed on the boy. They allegedly assaulted him with a knife, kicked him in the groin, dragged him by the hair, coerced him to engage in a sex act with an animal, and forced him to walk on a partially frozen pond where he fell through the ice.
The latter act being a possibly deadly one according to Sgt. Cara Grumbels. “You’re dealing with somebody who doesn’t have the mental capacity of you and I,” she said. “Somebody like that could go into a kiddie pool and may not be able to get themselves out. That’s what’s really kind of disturbing to us, among the other allegations in this case.…Continue Reading
HARRIS COUNTY, TX - Not a lot of details on this one, but a man shot and killed a teenage boy he found hiding in his 16-year-old daughter’s room.
At around 2:30 a.m. Thursday morning, police received a call from a girl who said her father had just shot a man found underneath her sister’s bed. When police arrived on the scene, they found a 17-year-old boy inside the home dead from a single gunshot wound to the head.
According to reports, the father and the teen got into a scuffle after the man found the teen while investigating noises he heard coming from his daughter’s room. The man’s daughter told him she did not who the boy was, and the teen refused to comply to the man’s demands. This led to a scuffle and a single shot being fired into the poor kid’s noggin.
The girl’s claims of not knowing the boy would later turn out to be false. She not only knew him, she was the one who had let him into the home and into her room.…Continue Reading
Valrico, FL – Michael Jason Fields has been arrested after police say the 32-year-old beat his girlfriend to death with a cinder block in his backyard.
On March 10, Police received a call that 32-year-old Christina Mahzamani was missing. Her children, ages 13, 9 and 7-years-old, said their mother left home the day before to pick up some eye drops but had never returned.
Earlier that same day, Christina’s car was found abandoned in front of a house with her car keys and personal items inside the car. Friends created a Facebook page in hopes of getting the word out and getting help locating Christina, but that Find Christina Mahzamani page would turn into Justice For Christina a day later.
On March 11, Michael Jason Fields called 9-1-1 to report he’d found Christina dead outside of his house located 1/2 mile from where her car had been found. Police arrived to find Christina’s dead body between Fields’ home and his neighbor’s.
When interviewed, Fields told police he last saw Christina on March 9 when she stopped by for a short visit, but that he had not talked to her since.…Continue Reading
On February 23, Kristopher Hughes, 20, Michon Thomas, 22, and Eric Bass, 23, broke into a home with plans to rob it. They had been given information by 21-year-old Efemia Neumaier, a woman who dated the owner and told the men they would find at least $1,500 inside the home. After planning the robbery, the trio of geniuses managed to break into the wrong home.
When they realized they had broke into the wrong home, they decided they might as well rob it. What they did to the couple they found sleeping inside led to interim Madison police Chief Randy Gaber stating: “In my 27-plus years of policing in Madison, this is probably one of the most disturbing and heinous crimes I have ever seen.”
The three men busted into the couples’ bedroom, one of them wearing a Scream mask, and demanded money. Hughes dragged the man out of bed and hit him multiple times in the head and face with a gun before punching and kicking him.…Continue Reading
According to eChinacities.com, Han Mou apparently approached the topic of divorce with his wife, Zhang. Believing Han had been unfaithful, or was in the process of finding a new woman, Zhang reportedly crushed a bunch of sleeping pills and waited until Han fell asleep. Then she cut his cut his dick off and flushed it down the toilet.
While recovering in the hospital, Han said that he loved his wife but was still considering divorce because she was too jealous. Not to mention batshit crazy….
Zhang was ultimately released on bail and returned to her husband and children. Han, though, fearful that his wife was going to be locked up for a bit, began searching for her replacement — them kids needed a step-mother. And Han apparently needs a lobotomy.
Zhang, jealous again, got busy with the sleeping pills.
After drinking his milk one morning, just three months after losing his dick, Han began to feel ill.…Continue Reading
Police received a call around 9:30 that night about a suspicious vehicle near Highway 78. Upon arrival, they spotted an unoccupied vehicle matching the call description, just sitting there all suspicious-like. The officers headed off into a wooded area near where the car was sitting to investigate and saw the two 16-year-old boys hightailing it out of the woods. Assuming the kids were heading for the car, the officers headed back up to the vehicle and waited.
When the boys approached the car, one of the officers asked what they were up to. That was when the dumber half of the stupid pair opened his mouth.
Officers detained the boys and called for backup. A search of the area led to the discovery of a very dead teen boy — police have identified him as 17-year-old Ivan Mejia.…Continue Reading
Portland, OR — An evil feline with a history of violence now stands accused of attacking a 7-month-old child and forcing the child’s entire family, including their pussy dog, to hole up in a bedroom and call 911.
Lux, apparently unsatisfied with slowly sucking the child’s breath out of his body, reportedly attacked the child Sunday, scratching the kid on the face. This led to the child’s father putting a boot up the 22 pound pussy’s ass. Needless to say, that ass tap didn’t go over well.
The Himalayan flew into a rage, eventually chasing the family into a bedroom.
The cat’s owner informed the 911 dispatcher the cat “went over the edge,” and was charging at them every time they opened the door. The man also claimed the cat had a history of being an asshole — he was just a little more assholish on that particular day.
“He’s trying to attack us,” the man said as the cat screeched and hissed in the background. “He’s very, very, very, very hostile.”
After it was determined the child didn’t require medical assistance, the dispatcher dispatched officers to the couple’s home.…Continue Reading
Police learned of the infant’s death after receiving multiple reports of a naked woman screaming and yelling in the street early Friday morning. They soon made contact with a belligerent and uncooperative 24-year-old Stefany Johnson.
When officers entered the woman’s home, they found Astrid’s body on the couch. Police say it appeared as Johnson neglected to seek medical assistance for the child.
When questioned, Johnson reportedly told police “Jesus came down and took Astrid to heaven” while she was bathing her. That Jesus dude again. He’s like a super sneaky serial killer or something. Bastard.
Cause of death has not yet been revealed, but logic points to drowning.
Police quickly determined it was Johnson’s negligence that killed the child. She’s now being held at a mental health facility, charged with criminal homicide.
The child’s father is apparently in Afghanistan.…Continue Reading
The woman’s 36-year-old boyfriend called police early Saturday morning, claiming that after an argument with his live-in lady, Danielle Nebelung, he was missing a chunk of flesh from the top of his ear.
No word on what the couple were arguing about, but I’m sure it was his fault. Anyway, the man told police Nebelung began punching him in the face and head. When he turned away from her, he said, she jumped on his back and chomped, biting off the top part of his left ear.
Fortunately for him, Nebelung is a spitter — the missing portion was located and he was transported to a hospital for treatment. Haven’t seen whether they were able to reattach it or not.
Nebelung was arraigned on an aggravated assault charge and ordered held on $10,000 bond.…Continue Reading
According to authorities, John Carter pitched a ginormous baby fit and started lighting his mother’s clothes on fire when she refused to give in to his crybaby, whiny-ass demands. No word on why the entitled shitstain doesn’t just get a damn job and buy his own shit.
Investigators with the Harris County Fire Marshal’s Office say the damage was minor to the apartment complex where this shit went down. And yes, they also have reason to believe the fire was intentionally set. No clue, though, as to whether the woman was injured.
Carter has been charged with arson. He’s already out on a $30,000 bond. Raise your hand if you think mom posted bond.
I’m gonna go and buy my spawn something shiny for allowing me to live as long as I have.…Continue Reading
Ocala, FL — A 13-year-old girl and her 15-year-old boyfriend are in police custody after allegedly ambushing the girl’s mother, slitting her throat, in the hopes of living happily ever after. How fucking cute.
According to police, Yaquelin Galvez-Don lured her mom into the garage early Sunday morning, where the boyfriend, Pedro Solis, informed the woman that he wanted to be with her daughter… cause he could, like, take care of her and stuff. He also told her that she should not have hit him with a stick previously. (Methinks she didn’t hit him hard enough. Or often enough. Or with a big enough stick). Solis then reportedly slashed the woman’s throat and ran inside, intent on doing the same to his beloved’s father.
With the knife to his throat, Galvez-Don’s father pleaded with Solis to seek medical assistance for his wife. No word on what was said between the two, but whatever it was, it worked — he was left uninjured and Solis loaded the woman up and dropped her off at an emergency room.…Continue Reading
Alec Eugene Taylor, who has served for five years with the Baltimore police department, is accused of beating, choking, and killing a 7-month-old Jack Russell Terrier belonging to his girlfriend. And because he apparently wanted to break the record for worst text ever received, he allegedly snapped a photo of the deceased dog and sent it to her.
Taylor is charged with aggravated animal cruelty, abuse and neglect of an animal. For the felony aggravated cruelty charge, he faces a maximum of three years in prison. If he’s convicted, anyone who pulls his criminal records online will see that he’s an animal abuser for the rest of his life. Taylor turned himself in to the police on Wednesday. He has also been suspended without pay by the Baltimore Police Department.
According to authorities, the incident began when the dog defecated on the carpet.…Continue Reading
Fort Myers, FL — A 30-year-old man is facing a felony charge of animal cruelty after admitting to officials that he killed his adopted pit bull with a pickaxe to the head because she was looking at him funny.
Authorities first received complaints about Galen Aune back in October of 2013. Neighbors reported seeing the man punching the pit bull puppy. Prior to that, neighbors said, Aune was seen picking the pup up by her ears and tossing her. Authorities apparently filed a report and continued to investigate.
Officers recently made contact with Aune at his home. When questioned about the alleged abuse of the dog, Aune reportedly responded that she was no longer a problem because he killed her.
“I know pit bulls, they are all about body language.” Aune told police. “She just looked at me funny and showed bad energy. I had to do something about it, for my health.”
Soooo, he axed her in the head and buried her in the backyard. Animal services took possession of the carcass.…Continue Reading
The first complaint came from a mother driving her three children to their piano lessons. The woman informed dispatchers that her children, ages 6, 10, and 12, brought her attention to the nekkid man, identified as 68-year-old Hillard Stallings.
It didn’t take long for the rest of the neighborhood to chime in with police — they informed dispatchers Stallings had been wandering around the yard, in the buff, for at least 10 minutes.
Officers made contact with Stallings, and chatted with him for a bit, but an immediate arrest was not made. When they drove back through the neighborhood a few minutes later, though, they spotted the skeevy bastard in the yard, shaking his willy and making thrusting motions at a 14-year-old boy who had been passing the home.
Stallings spotted police and raced for the house, but the officers were quicker.…Continue Reading
According to the police report, Thaddeus Morgan slapped and pushed his sister, 23-year-old Cynthia, after she confronted him about leaving the toilet seat up.
At some point during the verbal argument between the two, Cynthia claimed, Thaddeus pushed her and broke her glasses. When she attempted to dial 911, she told police, Thaddeus took her cellphone.
Thaddeus admitted to slapping his sister with an open hand, grabbing her wrists, pushing her and interfering with her phone call, but insists she was throwing toys at him.
The two were separated, told to grow the fuck up and sent to their rooms without dinner. Erm, I mean, Thaddeus was arrested for interfering with an emergency call, a felony, and misdemeanor assault.
Personally, I always look before I sit so I don’t really give two shits about whether the seat is up or down. I will, however, cut a motherfucker if the seat is down and wet.…Continue Reading
Officers were dispatched to the Porter Walmart on the afternoon of February 28, to deal with an alleged shoplifter. There they found 24-year-old Charlene Ellet. She informed officers that her half-brother, 26-year-old Cameron Beck, had driven her and her toddler twins to the store. A short time later, Beck appeared at the Loss Prevention office looking for Charlene.
For whatever reason, police requested a search of Beck’s car. He consented because he’s obviously an idiot. Anyway, the search revealed a “light bulb with burn marks and a cut pen with a crystalline substance on it.” Surprise! That substance reportedly tested positive for meth. Ellet admitted she and Beck had smoked the meth about two weeks prior. Ellet was issued a citation for shoplifting under $50, and both were taken into custody for possession of a controlled substance.
It was then, police say, that Beck asked the arresting officer if they could just charge Ellet because she had a clean record.…Continue Reading