Gives New Meaning To Blow Jobs

**blue_zombie** · October 19th, 2008, 07:55 PM

Blow Job!

Have you ever stared at a car wash vacuum cleaner and thought to yourself, "Damn. I want to stick that hose on my genitals and ride it like the dirty slut it is"? Yeah, me neither. But some 29-year-old dude from Michigan felt the urge to purge.....his load into a car wash vacuum hose.

Last Thursday, at around 6:45 in the morning, the police received a call about some suspicious nasty shit going down at a car wash in Thomas Township, Michigan. When officers drove up, they found a dude "receiving sexual favors from a vacuum." Basically, the dude's peen was down the hose's throat.

Maybe he was just cleaning the dick cheese off? It's a good thing the officers showed up when they did. I bet the dude was about to let the hose toss his salad. Bitch would've had had an orgasm, but he also would have lost an organ too.

The dude was arrested and is currently being held in the Saginaw County Jail. The dude's name hasn't been released. Wait. Was David Duchovny in Michigan recently?

You know, this is what pisses me off about some people. You think that you can just pop a quarter in a bitch and then have your way with it for 3-minutes? Have some decency! Do you think that car wash vacuum hose is your own personal whore? No, it's not. At least take that bitch to a fancy dinner at Red Lobster. Conversate with it a little. Get to know it better. Then take it back to your place, give it some sexy Victoria's Secret lingerie to wear, light some candles, play some Barry White, put a fresh bag in it and then seduce it to like a real gentleman should. Make it feel like the sensual dirt sucker it is.

I swear, some people have no class.

Source

**Jaded** · October 19th, 2008, 07:56 PM

Hahaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! Damn, some guys will fuck anything.

**Lizard** · October 19th, 2008, 07:58 PM

Also, it is courteous to alert said dirt sucker that oral sex may be associated with throat cancer. You know, it's the gentlemanly thing to do.

**Nell** · October 19th, 2008, 08:43 PM

That has got to be the most "bitches" I have ever seen in a post.

**Silvahalo** · October 20th, 2008, 11:36 AM

Originally Posted by Nell

That has got to be the most "bitches" I have ever seen in a post.

...and "dude"...thanks blue_zombie for a much needed laugh!..LOL...what a loser!

**Maggie Mae** · October 20th, 2008, 11:44 AM

I'm laughing SO hard. My grandmother's visiting this week, but she's sitting on the other side of the room reading, and I'm sitting here SUMMARIZING for my mom so Gran doesn't hear more than she should, when all of a sudden she looks up and says, "Well, my word, why would any man be wantin' to screw a TUBE?" (She's very, very East Texas--imagine that drawl...)

**Jaded** · October 21st, 2008, 05:26 AM

And here is the savage beast....

Jason Savage

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive...l?link=rssfeed

**crickett** · October 19th, 2008, 08:48 PM

GAWD....I LUV U

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

**malq** · October 20th, 2008, 03:26 AM

Nice! next time I clean my car out, i'll be thinking Hmmm.

**impqueen** · October 21st, 2008, 06:18 AM

BZ -

I am stealing your entire writeup and posting it on the front page as-is with credit to you. I'm still giggling. Thanks!

**SoUncool** · October 21st, 2008, 07:11 AM

Blue gets FP'd! (but in a good way) Woot!

**Siobhanm** · October 21st, 2008, 08:17 AM

This post was completely stolen from dlisted.com

http://dlisted.com/node/28842

**Kitty** · October 21st, 2008, 08:35 AM

"Source"

I see what happened.. the Link for the source didn't come through ~ still funny shit though

**Owd Scrat** · October 21st, 2008, 11:15 AM

Hmmmmm....interesting about that missing link.

**FlamingFox** · March 26th, 2009, 01:37 PM

SAGINAW, Mich. — A man police caught performing a sex act with a car wash vacuum has been sentenced to 90 days in prison.

Jason Leroy Savage must also submit to drug testing.

The 29-year-old from Michigan, was sentenced Wednesday at Saginaw County Circuit Court.

Savage pleaded no contest to indecent exposure last month.

Police say Savage was arrested after a resident called officers early on Oct. 16 to report suspicious activity at a car wash in Thomas Township, about 90 miles northwest of Detroit.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,510746,00.html

**FlamingFox** · March 26th, 2009, 01:40 PM

SAGINAW, Michigan — A man police caught performing a sex act with a car wash vacuum has been sentenced to 90 days in prison.

Jason Leroy Savage must also submit to drug testing.

The 29-year-old from Michigan, was sentenced Wednesday at Saginaw County Circuit Court. Savage pleaded no contest to indecent exposure last month.

Police say Savage was arrested after a resident called officers early on Oct. 16 to report suspicious activity at a car wash in Thomas Township, about 90 miles (145 kilometers) northwest of Detroit.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,510746,00.html

**MichaelJCheaney** · March 26th, 2009, 01:41 PM

Originally Posted by FlamingFox

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,510746,00.html

I hear those car wash vacuums really suck!

**FlamingFox** · March 26th, 2009, 01:43 PM

LOL! Good one! I'm out of thanks so I'll get ya later!

**seductress** · March 26th, 2009, 01:46 PM

people will have sex with just about anything these days.

And we all thought the vacuum cleaner on the neck in high school was funny, damn this guy takes it to a whole new level

**Silvahalo** · March 26th, 2009, 01:48 PM

I remember the other case like this, weird, but I guess to each their own.

**Dneilz** · March 29th, 2009, 08:33 AM

Jason Leroy Savage was sentenced Wednesday in Saginaw County Circuit Court.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009 at 4:54 p.m.

SAGINAW (AP) -- A man who police say was arrested for performing a sex act with a car wash vacuum has been sentenced to 90 days in the Saginaw County Jail.

Jason Leroy Savage also must submit to drug testing.

The 29-year-old Swan Creek Township man was sentenced Wednesday in Saginaw County Circuit Court. Savage pleaded no contest to indecent exposure last month.

Police say Savage was arrested after a resident called officers early on Oct. 16 to report suspicious activity at a car wash in Thomas Township, about 90 miles northwest of Detroit.

The Associated Press left a message Wednesday seeking comment from Savage's attorney, Philip Sturtz.

(Copyright ©2009 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

http://www.upnorthlive.com/news/news...aspx?id=278321

**Dneilz** · March 29th, 2009, 08:34 AM

I gather it was a rather cheap date at 75 cents per suck session. Hope mama checks her vacuum bags often..... that shit might get sticky and wet.

Happy Sunday Friends!

**Dneilz** · March 29th, 2009, 10:59 PM

lol, I didn't know this had been front paged... bwaaaaa ha hahahaha. I am from Michigan so this kinda 'sucked' to hear about. Guess I better keep my daughter home when I plan to go to the car wash.

Sweet!