Shit I see I screwed up with my reply being in the quote. Oh well notice quote don't feel like retyping :).
Shit I see I screwed up with my reply being in the quote. Oh well notice quote don't feel like retyping :).
SoUncool.... the board say's you my friend are a longing for the Old West. You move to New Mexico and try your skill as a ranch hand. You are on a 3 week cattle drive only to find yourself with a bad case of the constipation. When the urge finally hits you can't leave the saddle cause one of those damned doggies has wandered into cactus country, so you praire dog it best ya can. When the calf is back in the herd you go behind the cactus only to have a rattler spook your horse and drag you to a prickly pulp.Originally Posted by SoUncool
Okay zapp darlin' hit me with the ouija shit...and DON'T fall off your chair again...<----zapp this weekend...
Ya die with nasty drawers and over 2000 prickers in your hoo hoo!
Have a nice day!
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Glad it wasn't me who shit in there pants. LOL
i want to know more about the sex and less about the death.unless the two are combined. yikes.
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me, me!
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dearset petrina.... the board say's you my friend wind up getting a nasty divorce from a man of 24 years of the marital ringer. One day your dumbass ex is walking on the beach and finds a lamp half buried in the sand. He picks it up and wipes it off the POOF a genie comes out. He grants him three wishes and warns him whatever he wishes for his ex (you) get double. He wishes for one million dollars - POOF.. he has 1 million dollars and you get 2 million. His next wish is for a Mansion on a tropical island - POOF.. he has the deed for a mansion and at the same time you have two deeds for two said mansions.
His third wish is to be "scared half to death" - POOF
Have a nice day!
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that sonofabitch never could do anything right.
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me, me!
MISSanthropic... the board say's you enjoy traveling, and venture forth to Wrigley Field to take in a Cubs game. While your there your swaller down a couple of hotdogs and have an epiphany (sorry to use this word, don't mean to scare away any readers). You decide to change occupations and become a meat cutter. You join the local union and start making those dogs yourself. One day you back into the grinder and fatally get a little behind in your work!
Have a nice day!
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zapp (darlin') --It's been said that it's hard to get direction from the spirits one shaky letter at a time...
So, my muse suggests that I give a hand/hint to help your guide. I'm female, a single mom of 4, and a bit of a randy Pisces, hanging out in fishnets and red CFM heels
Oh, and a by and by---any idea where the youngest has misplaced her digital camera--this time?
Hmm fishnets heels........
Now if I can get my mind off of JMLS in fishnets
Could you pleaseand tell me what you see for me Please
Oh and before I forget
Welcome to DD
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zapp (darlin') --It's been said that it's hard to get direction from the spirits one shaky letter at a time...
So, my muse suggests that I give a hand/hint to help your guide. I'm female, a single mom of 4, and a bit of a randy Pisces, hanging out in fishnets and red CFM heels
Oh, and a by and by---any idea where the youngest has misplaced her digital camera--this time?
Just My Luck Sucks..... the board say's you my friend finally find the calling and courage to use your skills for the underpriviledged peoples in South America. Some 11 years from now you join the Peace Corp and head to Guiana to help build cinder block schoolrooms and much needed septic tanks. Whilst toiling away one day, a youngster shows you how to gain many more hours of strength by licking the local frogs. After teaching 3 years of construction, the three R's, and all around general hygene you develop an addiction to the little blue and yellow froggs. One September morn you have one frog too many and the local shaman has no luck stopping your cold sweats, crotch scratchings, and singing of Starland Vocal Band songs.....
Have a nice day!
(i think this board only works on demises, it just shakes when I ask about your missing camera.)
p.s. I'm a pisces also can I get a PM with a pic of those fishnets?
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lilbay.... the board say's you my friend have many o wonderful years and father many o wonderful childs. Some 38 or so years from now when America has long grown tired of nicey nice entertainment we bring back the gladiator games and your skills are at a premium. You become somewhat of a sadistic engineer and devise new ways of torture. Upon building a giant iron Mr. Planters Peanut whereas someone is trapped inside and a fire is built on the outside to roast the occupant. The Ruler makes you go first as a trial run......
Have a nice day!
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Please do me!
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TheLittleFriend...... the board say's you my friend find yourself in a drunken stupor on a bus in the Mexican Sierra Madre mountains returning from a binge in Alcapulco. The bus driver is driving way to slow for your taste and combined with no cocktail service on said bus you're starting to get into a tiff. When the bus goes around one particular bend the driver slows to a stop, it's seems someones bull has wandered onto the road and that fucker now owns it. The driver sit's for 15 minutes waiting for the bull to move, finally you can't take it any longer and squeeze out the door to take matters into your own hands even though the driver is hollering "alto" "alto" You expire when you put your angry hands on the bull - he puts his angry horns into you and drives you onto yon saguaro cactus.Please do me!
(you should have "alto'd")
have a nice day
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Can I make a request?
The new member "Biter" is a friend of mine. Can she have all the access's to this great forum that ya'll allowed me to have?
please...
I suggest that your friend Biter make that request. Welcome, Biter!
Lizard is not woman, and not a man. She is something you will never understand. ~From the collected works of the great and marvelous Morbid
It's hard to shoot yourself in the foot when it's in your mouth. ~Stephen Colbert
Holy Hell! How did I miss this thread? (Welcome, Zapp...)
I wanna play!
"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is ‘God is crying’. And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is ‘Probably because of something you did’." ~ Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
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Oh Dear I think my Fishnet comment messed up your board as I am sure not fathering any childrenlilbay.... the board say's you my friend have many o wonderful years and father many o wonderful childs. Some 38 or so years from now when America has long grown tired of nicey nice entertainment we bring back the gladiator games and your skills are at a premium. You become somewhat of a sadistic engineer and devise new ways of torture. Upon building a giant iron Mr. Planters Peanut whereas someone is trapped inside and a fire is built on the outside to roast the occupant. The Ruler makes you go first as a trial run......
Have a nice day!
I am all woman, Honest.
I so wish this board had a male female thing as I for a long time thought Gilbert was a guy. Not sure why i nthe devil I had that belief?? LOL
Now torturing Yes that is right up my alley. I can sit and come up with a thousand torture for the ass holes that get added to the front page here on demon.
I have a feeling though i would with my history have been down with Just My luck licking those darn frogs.
Great job as always You have a great talent You should take that board on the road and make oodles of money.
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Oh Dear I think my Fishnet comment messed up your board as I am sure not fathering any children
I am all woman, Honest.
I so wish this board had a male female thing as I for a long time thought Gilbert was a guy. Not sure why i nthe devil I had that belief?? LOL
Now torturing Yes that is right up my alley. I can sit and come up with a thousand torture for the ass holes that get added to the front page here on demon.
I have a feeling though i would with my history have been down with Just My luck licking those darn frogs.
Great job as always You have a great talent You should take that board on the road and make oodles of money.
I thought Lizard was. We spooned and everything.
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Holy Hell! How did I miss this thread? (Welcome, Zapp...)
I wanna play!
prettyuglyish... the board see's for you my friend a painful demise. On a future vaction to the Dakota's you get caught illegally panning for gold in the Black Hills by some young bucks from the Blackfeet tribe. Being that they fear another gold rush, said warriors decide to silence you. After having their way with you they pour honey down your esphogus, bury you next a huge fire ant mound, and put a hollow gag in your pie hole. The last thing you see are the buzzards closing in and pulling your eyelids off.
Have a nice day!
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Hot damn! Well I've gotta say, it's a better way to go than (after years of living in an old folks home pissing myself), suffering so badly from dementia that I think my future grandson is the Anti-Christ trying to steal my soul, and finally succumbing to the pancreatic cancer that has been ravaging my innards. I'll take Blackfeet and the buzzards over that. At least there will be a good story to pass on.
Good job.
"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is ‘God is crying’. And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is ‘Probably because of something you did’." ~ Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
This is cool. Do mine please! :)
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KiKi... the board say's you my friend sell everything and finally pursue your lifelong dream of Grape Stomping in ghey ole Paris. As your aclaim grows for footing only the best of bouquets (robust yet unobtrusive with a hint of unequal'd sexyness) the Lords of London approach you to insure your toosties. You decline out of sheer humility.. that proves to be your undoing. A chance pedicure in Florence grants you a staff infection sending Miss Ma'am into a tailspin. You meet your end buying a cure for Turf Toe in a vietnamese sidewalk shop, trying to ingest dried dingo dung. Please buy your own nail clippers Sugah!
Have a Nice Day
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Not sure I want to know...but what the hell...
Report child Abuse 1-800-4-A-CHILD * Missing and Exploited 1-800-THE-LOST
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I'm with you, silva. Zapp, if you please...
Lizard is not woman, and not a man. She is something you will never understand. ~From the collected works of the great and marvelous Morbid
It's hard to shoot yourself in the foot when it's in your mouth. ~Stephen Colbert
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silvahalo68.... the board say's you my friend find a new passion in barefoot waterskiing. You practice day in and day out till you reach the pinnacle of amateur barefooters. Being a Texan you secretly dream of skiing on powder snow but truly believe if God had wanted a Texan to snow ski he would have made bull shit white.
On your professional test ski you have to do a deep water start and in your nervousness you forget to tye your drawstring on your sexy skiing thong. At 15 feet just before your arch your back to pop upwards to the surface your bottom pops off but alas your boulder holders catches the current and takes you DEEP. Ashore six peoples give you mouth to mouth and countless other gawk at your hoo hoo but......
Have a nice day!
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After much consideration...
Lizard.... The boards say's you my friend do well for a while, family, career, financially.. until you start hitting the sauce. You try several but finally get hooked on Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum. You pull the whole 8 steps of addiction (life of the party, missing work, spewing, denial, losing the farm, blacking out, saying goodbye to loved ones, and forgeting your multiplication tables) then in one last heave ho you spend the last of your money on a sailboat and decide to hit the open seas with one leg held high. Upon going around Cape Horn you hit a current that sends ya to the Antartic istead of the Caribbean homelands of rum. Sorry hon, you freeze to death hopping around try to catch penguins to eat, screaming ARRGH, ARRGH.
Have a nice day
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I wanna play! Lets hear it Zapp....oh and thanks in advance!
Oh me, me! I wanna go!
Do me! Do me! Oh, wait, does that sound right?
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