Crystal Marie Mosquera Planned Quite The Booze-And-Cucumber Party

[Whisper]

Crystal Mosquera

Crystal Marie Mosquera: Not paying for brew, ice cream and that cucumber was a "mistake."
This week's entrant in the Crystal Crime Report is Crystal Marie Mosquera. College Station cops say they picked up the 19-year-old Thursday evening outside an area Walmart after she was seen placing numerous items in a reusable shopping bag, defying a security guard's order to stop and attempting to leave the store without paying.

Once in custody, Mosquera reportedly told police that she had gone to Walmart to stock up for a party that night and had made a "mistake" in not paying.

College Station police released a detailed inventory of Mosquera's allegedly misbegotten par-tay supplies, and it makes for interesting reading.

First, there's the alcohol: Mosquera's cart contained a case of Mike's Hard Lemonade, an 18-pack of Bud Light Lime, a 12-pack of Bud Light Lime-A-Rita, and a six-pack each of Twisted Tea, Smirnoff Ice, Smirnoff Ice Cherry Lime, Smirnoff Cranberry & Lime, Smirnoff Screwdriver, and Smirnoff Blueberry & Lemonade. Mosquera also reportedly helped herself to a dozen packages of various daiquiri and hard-lemonade mixes. Total value of booze and mixers: approximately $140.

And then there's the ice cream, lots and lots of ice cream: a box each of Breyer's S'mores and fudge bars, and numerous boxes of Twix, Snickers and Milky Way ice cream bars (some regular and some mini-sized). Total value: approximately $35.

Mosquera apparently planned to serve frozen pizza as the party's main course, for police also found two $10 Marketside meat pies in her cart. Total value: $20.

Which brings us to the one item in her cart that is a little harder to explain than all the rest, the one single, solitary natural product in those bags full of sickly-sweet hooch and chemically enhanced ice cream. And that was this: a single cucumber.

Somehow we don't think that cuke was going to end up as thinly sliced pizza topping or infused in a Smirnoff Blueberry Lemonade. Whatever could she have wanted it for? Total value: 62 cents.

Mosquera was charged with Class B misdemeanor theft of under $500. She was released on $2,000 bond late Thursday night.
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http://houstonpress.com/hairballs/20...ra_accused.php

[cubby]

Wow, she's gooooood! A talented shoplifter to think she would get by with all that. To top it all off she's only 19 and looks only 16.

[Abroad]

Cucumbers are the sine qua non of Pimm's, which she appears not to have had, and very good with gin and soda, which is lighter than gin and tonic and good for summer as well, but which she also didn't have........

[cubby]

Nawwww, I think she had a much more sinister use for the cucumber, don't you? LOL

[Abroad]

Dunno. I'm stumped. :-P

[TKaz]

This sort of reminds me of the time I was caught shoplifting at 17....it was a gag gift for my BFF. I got her Gas-X & Immodium AD, among other things like crayons & coloring books. THAT is what they found on me.
I had almost wished I'd tried to steal a stereo instead. The humiliation was worse than the 2nd job I had to get to pay the fine. Lesson learned.

[CbabyRKO]

I feel bad for the cucumber, whatever it was too be used for. Poor poor cucumber.

[MC30]

how the hell did she get all that booze into one reusable shopping bag?