Spartanburg, NC – Tracey McSwain, 40, was arrested for hitting and attempting to bite a police officer after assuming the “Crane Stance” and claiming to be The Karate Kid.
Deputies say that McSwain’s sister called them, seeking medical attention for her sibling, who had admitted to taking methamphetamine and huffing gasoline earlier in the day.* Reports indicate that when officers arriving on the scene asked McSwain her name, she put her two arms in the air, lifted one leg, and claimed to be The Karate Kid.
Now, I don’t claim to be a Karate Kid expert by any means, but I know enough that, even as a straight male, I’d sooner enter into a threesome with Ralph Macchio and Pat Morita than lay my penis within ten yards of this beast; even considering Morita’s current state of health.
McSwain, perhaps adopting a new twist to “wax on,” allegedly slapped a deputy, breaking her glasses.* She also reportedly attempted to bite another officer, which seems more Mike Tyson than Daniel LaRusso to me, but I’m a lover, not a fighter.* One thing is painfully clear, however: this woman obviously is not giving The Karate Kid the reverence it so clearly deserves, and that is perhaps her most serious offense in my humble opinion.…
This article is from The Dreamin' Demon, the Internet's self-appointed buzzkill.
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