Epping, NH – Michael Masterson, 43, is facing charges of first-degree assault after allegedly attacking 64-year-old James Deveau on Wednesday night and carving an ‘X’ on the top of his head.* Deveau is said to be Masterson’s wife’s father, though Masterson claims to be single, so I suspect that that relationship is at least on the rocks.* There probably won’t be much make-up sex after this incident if I know anything about women (which I don’t).
James Deveau called 911 after reestablishing consciousness following the reported attack.* When police arrived, they found him confused and bleeding profusely from the head, saying he did not know who had assaulted him.* However, after being treated, his memory began creeping back into focus.* He said he recalled Masterson coming to his home and arguing about Deveau’s daughter, his late wife, her ashes, and a necklace.* The last thing he claims to recall prior to waking up in a pool of his own blood is turning around to look for his cat and dog.
I hope this makes everything crystal clear for you, faithful readers, because I’m more dumbfounded than ever.
Closer inspection of the injury revealed that the source of the blood was a large ‘X’ carved on the top of his head.* Deveau was taken to Exeter Hospital where he is expected recover.…

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