Kissimmee, FL – 28-year-old teacher, eye-shadow-application professional, and Rogaine-spokesperson-hopeful Kacy Wilson, who resigned from her post at Osceola High School in January amid allegations of sexual misconduct with a 16-year-old student has been extradited from Colorado.* She is facing charges of unlawful sexual activity with certain minors and transmission of pornography by electronic device.
Ms. Wilson, who I believe may have simply mistaken her city’s name for the little-known Fuckimmee, FL, was the topic of an anonymous letter received by the school back in October.* It stated that she had been sexually involved with a student at her school.* However, the seminal fluid didn’t hit the fan right away, as the student initially denied any hanky-panky.
It wasn’t until Wilson reportedly started sending topless pictures of herself to the student’s phone that he came clean, saying that the transmissions made him “uncomfortable,” and apparently not in the “this is making my underwear kinda tight” way.
When the 16-year-old victim was interviewed, he stated that Wilson had called him out of class to inform him that he had left something behind in her classroom, possibly her coitally-neglected vagina.
When he arrived, Wilson reportedly pushed him against a wall, touched him in a special place, and jockeyed him into a closet where she proceeded to remove his clothes and place his erect penis into the aforementioned vagina.* He was reportedly a virgin before the incident and that’s why the following quote from this student gets my vote for “Statement of the Year”:
“It’s bad, that when I grow up and think about my first time, I have to think about Ms.…
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