Jacqui Feldmans Son Has Autism & Walked Out With Greeting Card,Manager Wants Charges

[Whisper]

Child with autism arrested, accused of shoplifting greeting card from Boynton Beach mall store

BOYNTON BEACH, Fla. -- Police this week arrested a boy with autism on shoplifting charges after they say he walked out of a Boynton Beach Mall store with a greeting card in his hand.
A Spencer Gifts store employee called police Sunday after stopping the 12-year-old boy leaving with the $2.95 card, according to a Boynton Beach police report.

A manager at the store declined to comment when reached by phone Wednesday afternoon. A few hours later, however — after news media inquiries and an outcry on Facebook — store managers told police they no longer would press charges against the boy.
Still, the arrest outraged the boy's mother and sparked heated discussion online about the handling of the incident.
Jacqui Feldman, 48, said she was shocked to find out the manager wanted to press shoplifting charges against her son, who suffers from Asperger's syndrome.

The high-functioning form of autism causes forgetfulness and distraction, which likely led her son to forget he was holding the card when he left the store, Feldman said.

The boy was crying hysterically by the time Feldman and police got to the store, insisting that he wasn't stealing, the report said.
"As a parent, my job is to protect him, but I felt helpless," said Feldman, who let her son and two of his friends go shopping by themselves for an hour while she went to a different store.

The police officer told Feldman he would not handcuff the boy, but that her son later would need to go to court and possibly into a juvenile offender's program. The boy was barred from returning to the Spencer Gifts store for a year.
Lack of understanding about Asperger's syndrome may have played a role in the incident, said Maryellen Quinn-Lunny, director of Florida Atlantic University's Center for Autism and Related Disabilities.

"People with Asperger's don't look handicapped," she said. "The expectation is that they should act like everyone else, but they don't."
Feldman's son was diagnosed with Asperger's when he was 16 months old. He's been in therapy ever since, but still acts like an "absent-minded professor," even losing five cellphones in one year, she said.
The Boynton Beach mother shared her distress about Sunday's incident with support groups and on the Facebook page of Single Mothers Who Have Children With Autism.

Dozens of members of the online group criticized the arrest, some urging a boycott of Spencer Gifts stores and expressing their disapproval on the company's Facebook page. One member said a different autism community would help Feldman pay the attorney she hired.
"I would also like some answers and apologies for your son," wrote one woman.
Feldman said she was relieved to learn that the store would drop the charges against her son, but that he still is traumatized from the incident, setting back some of his progress in years of therapy.
"It's going to take some time for him to trust again," Feldman said.
[...]

http://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/region_...#ixzz1pPaz3Btz

[Dakota Valkyrie]

After the incident, Feldman contacted Spencer’s corporate office and explained her son’s condition, Mahoney said. He has Asperger’s syndrome, a high-functioning form of autism.

“Certainly understanding his medical condition and with regard to his mother and her request, I immediately agreed to drop the charge” on Tuesday, Mahoney said. “She was very thankful for that and very appreciative.”

He said online discussion did not contribute to Spencer’s decision, and that he spoke with Feldman Tuesday, before there was any media coverage.

http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/B...142866455.html

[sugarfree irony]

I don't see what the manager and employee did that is so upsetting . He walked out without paying . It is shoplifting . If he cannot get that concept maybe he needs more supervision .

[Jerri Blank]

I don't see what the manager and employee did that is so upsetting . He walked out without paying . It is shoplifting . If he cannot get that concept maybe he needs more supervision .

I would of found it upsetting only if they followed through with it.
A good scare for any thieving 12-year-old is perfect punishment regardless of his illness imo

[malq]

I don't see what the manager and employee did that is so upsetting . He walked out without paying . It is shoplifting . If he cannot get that concept maybe he needs more supervision .

Bingo.
Just because you have a handicap does not mean you are incapable of criminal intent. I don't think it should be a kneejerk reaction, but it has to be carefully weighed, which most people are not qualified to do. In any case you are so right in that, what the hell was he doing unsupervised in a store if he had no capacity for understanding a purchase?

lol I basically said in 3 sentences what you said in 1.. oh well... self reporting troll is reporting for duty,

[darich]

Just want to point out that the boy didn't stick the card in his pocket or try to hide it, it was in his hand. I don't condone stealing but I've done the same thing. Paid for a bunch of stuff but still had something in my hand. Nobody stopped me for stealing but when I got outside and realized what was in my hand I took it back. Sometimes we can all be a little bit of the absent-minded professor. lol

[Tundratot]

I agree that it's easy to forget to put something on the counter for ring-up. I've done that. And I've gone back and paid. Probably the fact that I'm a regular customer who obviously does pay, and that the overlooked item is usually something fairly minor -- and that I'm there on my own recognizance -- has meant that there has been no repercussion.

The store keeper let the boy off. However, Aspies have to face consequences, turmoil, etc, the same as the rest of us. I feel for their confusion and emotional trauma, but it's true that many of us who don't have a diagnosed emotional disfunction may also have easily hurt feelings and no one gives a rat's ass about it.

[Silvahalo]

I just think calling the cops on a 12 yo kid is excessive, unless it's a repeat offender or aggressive individual--sadly, at that age it happens on both counts.
Anyhow, it's probably store policy, zero tolerance type of thing. Seems it would make more sense to first discuss with the parent, that's what I would appreciate as a parent.

Agree, the child needs to be supervised at all times. If he's handy with stuff and often forgets what he might have in hand. Those Spencer stores have stuff covering every inch of the counters. A kid with Autisim/Aspengers might be overwhelmed actually; sensory overload.

[Shadow]

I have to agree with @darich and @Silvahalo. This boy is already at a fairly awkward age. Compound that with the Asperger's and it is a recipe for disaster. I do think that the 'theft' was unintentional and for the manager to say he was pressing charges for it was a bit of an overkill. If he'd asked the boy for the card back, I'm sure he would've given it back. He could've said "Do you want to purchase that card in your hand?" instead of getting 'authoritative'. I think sometimes these sorts of situations escalate because the employees of the business get 'authoritative attitude' and come across as intimidating. It's enough to put a normal person on the defensive.

My daughter works for the loss prevention department of a very large, nationwide department store. When she observes someone shoplifting, she approaches calmly and explains that they have to pay for the stuff that they stuffed into their purse/pocket/jacket/whatever. Sometimes the 'thief' will return the items and the store won't bring the police into it. It's only if they try to run that it gets ugly. Some of the stories she's shared with me about the people that steal from the store are rather disturbing in that the adults use their children to do some of the stealing.


Just a couple of thoughts.

~shadow

[Obsolete]

I don't understand why people are so pissed at the store/employees. It isn't like he had a tattoo on his forehead that said " I have Autisim/Aspengers, handle with care".

They treated him like they would any other teenage shoplifter and once they found out he was unaware of his actions they dropped the charges.

I don't disagree with charging a 12 yr old for shoplifting. 12 is old enough to understand right from wrong and making them give the card back and saying sorry isn't going to prevent them from doing it again.

My daughter works for the loss prevention department of a very large, nationwide department store. When she observes someone shoplifting, she approaches calmly and explains that they have to pay for the stuff that they stuffed into their purse/pocket/jacket/whatever. Sometimes the 'thief' will return the items and the store won't bring the police into it. It's only if they try to run that it gets ugly. Some of the stories she's shared with me about the people that steal from the store are rather disturbing in that the adults use their children to do some of the stealing.

I use to work in loss prevention for Albertsons (a large grocery store) and not to dish on your daughter but her "catch and release" method isn't doing anything to help stop the thief from trying again. There are certain rules we had to abide by, like if someone tries to run or get combative you don't try to stop them, just let them go and call the police. At the same time our job was to prevent loss, that means preventing someone from coming back and doing it again and again. Every damn time I let someone walk out of the store without involving the police, I would catch them trying the exact same thing a week or so later. They know you're not going to call the cops so they have nothing to lose. Once they're charged and booked they realize that $5 pack of steaks they were trying to steal wasn't worth the embarrassment, they're less likely to try it again.

[62julietandvoid]

While we never had a client walk out of a store with anything, we had 2 that were expected to snatch a pop or something, gulp it down in seconds, usually always happened in the checkout line. The pop $ came out of their private stash at home and they understood and were fine with that. Got some strange but hilarious looks from other shoppers sometimes, people unfamiliar. Everything was always under control though. Take care of business(pay for the soda) and chuckle about it later. lol this brings back so many memories.

[Dakota Valkyrie]

At the same time our job was to prevent loss, that means preventing someone from coming back and doing it again and again. Every damn time I let someone walk out of the store without involving the police, I would catch them trying the exact same thing a week or so later. They know you're not going to call the cops so they have nothing to lose. Once they're charged and booked they realize that $5 pack of steaks they were trying to steal wasn't worth the embarrassment, they're less likely to try it again.

If I was a 12yo boy (handicapped or not), I would probably walk out of the store with something IF I knew that the worst thing that was going to happen was I'd have to give it back. Because the flip side is that if I made it out, I would have a free whatever-it-is. Young people are usually not more into thinking things out beyond that simple view. After all, how wrong can it be if they let you keep it if you are successful?

The store handled it correctly and everyone walked away wiser... about stealing, paying attention, and Asperger's.

[AngelFire]

I see no issues with the Store Manager of the staff. He didn't know this child suffered from that illness. He did what I would have expected anyone in his position to do. The fact that it's a 12 year old doesn't chnage my mind one bit.

Yeah sure it's a 12 year old. In our minds, we think it's excessive. But how many 12 year olds have we already read about that have gone and committed crimes worse then shoplifting??

Now like @Jerri Blank said, had the manager proceeded with the charges after knowing the child's condition, then yes, he would be an utter douche cookie. But once he found out, he made sure to drop the charges. What did he do wrong that I am not seeing?

[carolinablue]

Yah, what everybody said. I was ready to come on ranting at the evil store for persecuting an autistic kid....then I read the whole story. I think it was handled appropriately. Store people didn't know he was autistic, he probably was off in 12 year old la la land; when the personnel found out about his condition they dropped the charges. No harm, no foul......; except for mom's nerves, and they're probably already shot (most moms are basket cases by the time kiddos are 12)

[cubby]

Also, the parents and the 12 year old have learned a valuable lesson, to pay more attention to what you're doing at all times. Experience is the greatest teacher. If he had been allowed to get away with it even tho it was an accident this time, who's to say he might think it okay to try it again on purpose. Probably not likely, but now he knows, firsthand, what happens to shoplifters.

[Silvahalo]

nevermind.

[cubby]

When I was a new mama (Chris was maybe 2) he took a peice of candy at the grocery store and put it in his coat pocket, which he started eating on the way home. We went right back and I made him give the owner the remains of it and say sorry, and she said it was no problem, but I told her I wanted him to know that taking something that is not yours is wrong. You either ask or you leave it alone. You can teach these lessons without scaring the child to death and they'll remember if you practice what you preach.

Just having both my sons described as good honest men makes me more than proud, nothing else really matters.