Bradenton, Florida – I seldom catch wind of an incident that makes me feel slightly weird about paying women to do jumping jacks. That all changed when I read about Adrian Baltierra’s case. Mr. Baltierra, 51, was nabbed on the night of February 23rd for solicitation of a prostitute, a misdemeanor, while allegedly seeking the “services” of a cop who was working undercover as a hooker on a Bradenton street, a street reputedly fingered by local officers as a “known location for prostitution.” According to police records, the “service” being solicited by the suspect was, and I quote, “smell pussy.” That’s right, faithful readers. He seemingly didn’t want to make actual physical contact with his hopeful business associate, but to pay her $15 to allow him to get his schnoz close enough to her genitalia to get a good whiff of it and maybe, just maybe, that of the salty chowder of any dudes who might have previously opted for the deluxe treatment. Nothing I read would indicate that he had any intention of sampling the latter, however. That part’s just my brain working its magic. But alas, it was not to be. A police takedown team was engaged just as it seemed the olfactory dream was to be realized. *The suspect was then quickly fitted with double-lock handcuffs and hauled away to the substation for processing. Adrian “Snatch Sniffer” Baltierra was released the following day from Manatee County Jail and subsequently scheduled for a court appearance on the 27th. I’m guessing that the ridicule leveled by his friends, if he has any, has already commenced.
This article is from The Dreamin' Demon, the Internet's self-appointed buzzkill.


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