Penis Anthony Bush Will Be Charged With Homicide For Beating GFs 11yo Child To Death

**Whisper** · February 12th, 2012, 10:28 PM

Anthony Bush
he looks like the pigman from that Star Trek Episode

Man will be charged with homicide in Knoxville boy's death

A 29-year-old man was charged today with homicide and endangering the welfare of a child in connection with the death of an 11-year old Knoxville boy in his care.

Police accuse Anthony Bush of beating to death the son of his girlfriend while she was working.

The Allegheny County Medical Examiner's office identified the victim as Donovan McKee. City police in Zone 3 went to the Rochelle Towers apartment building on Knox Avenue at 11:40 p.m. Saturday because of call about an unresponsive youth, police said. The boy was taken to Mercy Hospital, Uptown, and later to Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh of UPMC, Lawrenceville, where he died at 2:45 a.m. today, police said.

Based on interviews the mother and her boyfriend, police said Bush disciplined the boy with various objects in the house. Police did not give details of why Bush was disciplining him or what objects were allegedly used.

Neighbors said they knew there was some kind of trouble in the household, but did not know to what extent it included Donovan McKee and his brother, who was a few years older.

One neighbor described Bush as a "linebacker who's as big as can be." Charles Loveall of Elizabeth, who manages the government-subsidized apartment building, said he had contact with Bush and the boy's mother only if he had to do maintenance inside. He did not know how long they have been living in the building
[,,,]

http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pitt...#ixzz1mE0ZFWoD

Anthony Bush, 29, was arraigned Sunday morning on homicide charges, authorities said.
Police said an investigation revealed that Bush was at an apartment with Donovan McKee while the child's mother was at work. They said Bush disciplined the child by beating him with various objects found in the apartment.
McKee died at the Children's Hospital at 2:45 a.m. from the injuries.
Police said a 5-year-old was also in the apartment at the time of the incident, but that child was not injured.[...]

http://www.wtae.com/news/30439433/de...#ixzz1mE0sRtQ2

**Whisper** · February 12th, 2012, 10:30 PM

Just look at that forehead and tell me that doesnt scream inbred??

**Chinchillazilla** · February 12th, 2012, 10:46 PM

Shenanigans: that man could not possibly have been anybody's boyfriend.

**DamagedGoods** · February 12th, 2012, 10:53 PM

Originally Posted by Whisper

Just look at that forehead and tell me that doesnt scream inbred??

I don't know, it could be screaming "missing link"

**CbabyRKO** · February 13th, 2012, 12:13 AM

Geez just looking at this ugly bastard makes me shake my head! When will women learn that good dick don't make a good man. I'd be damned if a man beat my son to death and he made it to the jail house in one piece coz I'd be hard pressed not to put his ass in a mutha fucking body bag. There is just no reason for shit like this to happen. Come on women get your shit together and quit fucking with these no good lame ass motherfuckers! Alright I'm done.

**BreakTheSilence** · February 13th, 2012, 02:54 AM

OMFG This asshat needs to just die already. This poor child, god my heart breaks for him and what he endured. May this asshole rot in prison.

A 29-year-old man was charged on Sunday with fatally beating his girlfriend's 11-year-old son after the youth refused to vacuum the apartment.
Anthony Bush is charged with homicide and endangering the welfare of a child in connection with the death of Donovan McKee in the Knoxville apartment they shared with McKee's mother, Cynthia, and her 5-year-old son. Investigators said the beating covered nine hours, including what Bush described as "one clean" head shot and Bush's attempt to sew up a cut on the youth's arm.
Officers went to an apartment at Rochelle Towers on Knox Avenue at 11:45 p.m. Saturday, nearly two hours after Cynthia McKee arrived home from work to find her son naked, lying on the floor and unresponsive, police said. The boy was taken to Mercy Hospital, Uptown, and later to Children's Hospital in Lawrenceville, where a doctor pronounced him dead at 2:45 a.m. Sunday, police said. The Allegheny County Medical Examiner's office said he died of injuries to his head, trunk and extremities.
Bush told police he repeatedly beat Donovan with wooden sticks and a belt at various times between noon and 9 p.m. after the boy refused to vacuum the apartment, according to court documents. Bush told police that during the beatings, the stick broke and he ordered the boy to clean up the pieces. Then, Bush got a new stick and continued the beating. Bush told police he used at least three sticks.
"I did it. I did it," he told police. "It's my fault."
Police said the boy had multiple bruises and cuts to his head, arms, legs and trunk and probably fractures of the left arm and skull. A Pittsburgh police detective said the child had some injuries that apparently had healed, indicating previous abuse.
According to court documents, Bush said he woke up angry about noon Saturday, after Cynthia McKee had left for work. Bush told investigators she had previously stopped him when he tried to discipline the boys, so he knew he had to wait to discipline Donovan until she was at work.
Bush said that after the beatings, he noticed Donovan's head "did not feel right" and the boy had a cut on his right arm, which Bush sewed using a needle and thread.
When Cynthia McKee arrived home about 10 p.m., she found her son barely breathing, court documents say. Bush told McKee to tell police the child fell out of a window, but McKee refused. She called family members before calling 911.
Investigators said they found blood-stained sheets, tissues and a belt, wood sticks, metal bars and blood on the ceiling and walls in Donovan's bedroom. Court documents say Donovan's young brother was in the room during the beatings.
Marc Cherna, director of Allegheny County's Department of Human Services, said that because of confidentiality rules, he couldn't comment on whether his office had been involved with the family.
Neighbors said they knew of domestic issues within the household but did not know to what extent it included Donovan McKee and his brother. One neighbor described Bush as a "linebacker who's as big as can be." Court documents list him as 6-foot-5 and 270 pounds.
Pittsburgh Public Schools spokeswoman Ebony Pugh said Donovan attended a cyber school, although she did not immediately know which one.
Charles Loveall of Elizabeth, who manages the government-subsidized apartment building, said he only had contact with Bush and Cynthia McKee when he performed maintenance inside their first-floor unit. He did not know how long they have lived in the building.
"I did not suspect anything," Loveall said.
Bush is being held in the Allegheny County Jail without bail. His preliminary hearing is scheduled for Wednesday. According to court records, Bush pleaded guilty in March 2007 to a summary charge of disorderly conduct and eventually paid a $284 fine.

http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pitt.../s_781336.html

**JGo555** · February 13th, 2012, 09:52 AM

This dick really looks like an albino man born to black people... Oh that & the most trashiest trailer trash pig ever.

I hope he gets extra messed with at jail for how he looks.

Fuck him.

**melissa222** · February 13th, 2012, 10:18 AM

"Fuck him", God i hope they do in cell block G..... over and fucking over again... and break a rib or two while they do it.... this fucking bastard did way more than displine, and I know the mom is hurting right now, but dam her too... the bastard said she had stopped him before... so she knew he was out of control....and there was previous abuse... yeah and then she leaves the kids with the bastard.... GOD help her the guilt she will carry over her lifetime for this stupid mistake might just kill her.....

**princessgrandma** · February 13th, 2012, 10:41 AM

Bush told police he repeatedly beat Donovan with wooden sticks and a belt at various times between noon and 9 p.m. after the boy refused to vacuum the apartment, according to court documents. Bush told police that during the beatings, the stick broke and he ordered the boy to clean up the pieces. Then, Bush got a new stick and continued the beating. Bush told police he used at least three sticks.
"I did it. I did it," he told police. "It's my fault.

OMFG. I'm sick, I actually got nauseous reading this. How the hell can someone DO this to a child???? And what kind of idiot is his mother, FFS? If I had stopped a man from beating my kid before, there would be no way that he would have an opportunity to do it again, and worse. No, I'd not throw him out. They'd have to drag his dead ass out b/c I'd have killed him.

I know it hasn't escaped anyone's notice so far, but what the hell is wrong with his face?? It looks like someone sat on his fat head and smooshed his face or something.

**PeopleMakeMeSick** · February 13th, 2012, 10:48 AM

His picture makes me want to puke, how could ANY woman get with this neanderthal? He really does look like an inbred cave man & his hair is totally laughable. What a douche!!

**Ninja0980** · February 13th, 2012, 01:38 PM

People talk about the Josh Powell case and how they are sick of seeing abusers get custody or suprevised visits(I'm one of them). You know what I'm sick of in addition to that?
Mothers who are just so desperate for a man in their life they willingly sacrifice the love and safety of their kids in order to get some action.

**Whisper** · February 13th, 2012, 02:08 PM

Police: 11-Year-Old Endured Hours Of Abuse Before Death

PITTSBURGH -- A man who was watching his girlfriend's son brutally beat the child to death because he hadn't vacuumed their apartment in Pittsburgh's Knoxville neighborhood, police said in a criminal complaint.

Anthony Bush, 29, was arrested Sunday morning at the Rochelle Towers apartment building on Knox Avenue and arraigned on a charge of criminal homicide.
Police said an investigation revealed that Bush was with Donovan McKee while the child's mother was at work. They said Bush disciplined the child by beating him with various objects found in the apartment.
"He was just 11 years old. He was just the sweetest little kid. But they never come out the house. I've been here two years. They never came out of the house," a neighbor said.
Police said McKee endured nine hours of abuse before his death. Police said Bush told officers he beat the boy with wooden sticks. They said McKee was ordered to clean up the sticks that Bush broke during the attacks.
At one point, police said Bush used a needle and thread to close a cut he'd caused on the boy's arm.
[...]

http://www.wtae.com/news/30439433/de...#ixzz1mHpKKAjK

**Whisper** · February 13th, 2012, 07:44 PM

A man said to be as big as a linebacker brutally beat his girlfriend's son, 11, to death for nine hours because he wouldn't vacuum the apartment.
Anthony Bush, 29, from Pittsburgh, was charged on Sunday with homicide and child endangerment charges after Cynthia McKee returned home from work to find her son Donovan naked, bloody and barely breathing on the floor.
Bush admitted beating the boy to a bloodied pulp to police, saying he used wooden sticks and a belt after he refused to vacuum the apartment.

He said that during the beatings, the stick broke and he ordered the boy to clean up the pieces. Then the 29-year-old got a new stick and continued the beating. Bush told police he used at least three sticks.
He told police: 'I did it. I did it. It's my fault.'
[..]
When Ms McKee called police, Bush - who is six feet five inches - tried to get her to say her son had fallen out the window but she refused.Investigators told the Tribune Review they found blood-stained sheets, tissues and a belt, wood sticks, metal bars and blood on the ceiling and walls in Donovan's bedroom.
Bush is being held in the Allegheny County Jail without bail. His preliminary hearing is scheduled for Wednesday.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...#ixzz1mJAEMrNk

Medical examination: Donovan was pronounced dead at the Children's Hospital in Lawrenceville. He died from injuries to his head and body

Scene: The 11-year-old boy was beaten to death in this Knoxville apartment for nine hours while his mother was at work

**Tundratot** · February 13th, 2012, 08:22 PM

Bush said he woke up angry about noon Saturday, after Cynthia McKee had left for work. Bush told investigators she had previously stopped him when he tried to discipline the boys, so he knew he had to wait to discipline Donovan until she was at work.

Sleeping on it, planning it. I have to wonder if the kid really refused to vacuum or if that was just an excuse? If it had any reality, I bet the kid tried to vacuum after the abuse began, to stop the abuse, and it had no effect.

Bush said that after the beatings, he noticed Donovan's head "did not feel right" and the boy had a cut on his right arm, which Bush sewed using a needle and thread.

Was it squishy like a bag of beans?

Bush told police that during the beatings, the stick broke and he ordered the boy to clean up the pieces. Then, Bush got a new stick and continued the beating. Bush told police he used at least three sticks.

Which I think just proves that the kid was going to be killed by this POS no matter what he did, because I bet even as he was picking up the pieces, the abuse was continuing.

He was just 11 years old. He was just the sweetest little kid.

**LadyCygnet** · February 13th, 2012, 11:32 PM

The only good thing I see here is that the mother refused to lie for her boyfriend. I wish she'd thrown him out the first time he beat on her son. This was premeditated, as far as I can tell. Who is the father of the younger child?

**nopatience** · February 14th, 2012, 12:58 AM

http://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2012/...h-if-possible/

(Credit: KDKA)

Reporting Marty Griffin

Filed under
Local, News, Syndicated Local
Related tags
Anthony Bush, Cynthia McKee, Donovan McKee, Knox Avenue, Knoxville, SSI PITTSBURGH (KDKA) — Allegheny County District Attorney Steve Zappala tells the KDKA investigators that he will pursue the death penalty against Anthony Bush if he can.

Zappala says if the facts support it he will pursue the death penalty against suspect Anthony Bush. He also told Marty Griffin he will file criminal charges against the boy’s mother, Cynthia McKee, if the evidence supports it.

**princessgrandma** · February 14th, 2012, 08:23 AM

Nine hours of beating, and the guy actually sewed up a cut he made on the kid's arm? That poor little guy. He endured what amounts to torture.

I really hope they DO bring the DP in on this one. If anyone deserves it, he does. And even though the mom didn't cover for the guy, this was not the first time he had beaten her son. She doesn't get a pass on this one. The animal planned this. He waited until she was out of the house. After anything that had happened earlier, the man should not have even been in the house.

Basically, it's just another case of a mother choosing her penis over her child. Same song, different tune.

**Marv** · February 14th, 2012, 02:09 PM

Officers went to an apartment at Rochelle Towers on Knox Avenue at 11:45 p.m. Saturday, nearly two hours after Cynthia McKee arrived home from work to find her son naked, lying on the floor and unresponsive, police said.

He also told Marty Griffin he will file criminal charges against the boy’s mother, Cynthia McKee, if the evidence supports it.

What, evidence like leaving her naked, unresponsive and badly beaten son lying there on the floor for two fucking hours before getting help?

Fry that neanderthal throwback. 9 fucking hours of beatings goes WAY beyond 'discipline'. You beat a child for 9 hours with sticks etc, then you are definitely trying to kill him.

And I hope she gets a hefty sentence too. If she had dumped swamp-monster the first time she had to intervene to stop him beating her kids, that poor child would still be alive. But no. She must have really love his dick. She put up with the threat he posed to her children to keep it.

RIP Donovan.

**Shadow** · February 14th, 2012, 02:43 PM

'Ladies',
Now, I know most of you don't fit the definition of a lady but I'm using the word as a blanket generosity. Are you really so hard up for dick that you'd put your children in danger just to keep one around? Or maybe your children are just ''accessories" to you, to be worn for the family or friends to garner you more attention. It doesn't matter. The fact still remains that they are *your* children. You carried them for a term of pregnancy and then gave birth to them. This means they are *your* responsibility. This also means it is up to *you* to PROTECT them from assclowns like this pigman clone. Please, can you explain to me WHY you would allow someone to harm your child? Why, after it happened the first time it happened, wouldn't you pack up your child(ren) and get as far away from this jacknut freakazoid as possible? WHY? Are you so selfish that you can't see beyond your own 'wants'. I won't call them needs because getting dick doesn't qualify as a need. Needs are things like "FOOD", "CLOTHING", "SHELTER", "LOVE", "PROTECTION".

I am ashamed that you are all a part of MY gender. Personally, I think that when someone allows another person to take the life of their child, they ought to be forcibly sterilized, and then forcibly made to be gender neutral. No longer allowed to identify with female or male. All of these children who've died because their 'mom' or their 'dad' either killed them, themselves, or allowed their 'sexual partner' to kill them, deserve more than just a burial and a remembrance. They deserve JUSTICE.

I have absolutely NO sympathy for pieces of shit like you. You are the scum sucking amoeba in the bottom of a septic tank that hasn't been cleaned EVER.

~shadow

**Whisper** · February 14th, 2012, 02:48 PM

Originally Posted by ceisdsgil

'Ladies',
Now, I know most of you don't fit the definition of a lady but I'm using the word as a blanket generosity. Are you really so hard up for dick that you'd put your children in danger just to keep one around? Or maybe your children are just ''accessories" to you, to be worn for the family or friends to garner you more attention. It doesn't matter. The fact still remains that they are *your* children. You carried them for a term of pregnancy and then gave birth to them. This means they are *your* responsibility. This also means it is up to *you* to PROTECT them from assclowns like this pigman clone. Please, can you explain to me WHY you would allow someone to harm your child? Why, after it happened the first time it happened, wouldn't you pack up your child(ren) and get as far away from this jacknut freakazoid as possible? WHY? Are you so selfish that you can't see beyond your own 'wants'. I won't call them needs because getting dick doesn't qualify as a need. Needs are things like "FOOD", "CLOTHING", "SHELTER", "LOVE", "PROTECTION".

I am ashamed that you are all a part of MY gender. Personally, I think that when someone allows another person to take the life of their child, they ought to be forcibly sterilized, and then forcibly made to be gender neutral. No longer allowed to identify with female or male. All of these children who've died because their 'mom' or their 'dad' either killed them, themselves, or allowed their 'sexual partner' to kill them, deserve more than just a burial and a remembrance. They deserve JUSTICE.

I have absolutely NO sympathy for pieces of shit like you. You are the scum sucking amoeba in the bottom of a septic tank that hasn't been cleaned EVER.

~shadow

years ago hubby and I were seperated and I was dating another guy and he didnt meet my kids for months (4, I believe)
The first time he met them he yelled at my son who was almost 3 at the time and he was gone
Never saw him again after that
He was out of my house within 5 minutes of making my son cry
If hes going to scream at him the first time he met them whos to say what happens down the road

**Tundratot** · February 14th, 2012, 03:26 PM

Originally Posted by Whisper

years ago hubby and I were seperated and I was dating another guy and he didnt meet my kids for months (4, I believe)
The first time he met them he yelled at my son who was almost 3 at the time and he was gone
Never saw him again after that
He was out of my house within 5 minutes of making my son cry
If hes going to scream at him the first time he met them whos to say what happens down the road

WTH set him off? I guess he'd seemed pretty acceptable, a gentleman?

I think most of these women, despite all the good points that @ceisdsgil makes, would not see themselves in any of our stories. There seems to be no human trait quite so strong as denial. I learned just how strong my own denial is some years back -- about 8 -- and I then reviewed my life and saw very clearly that I had a lifetime of denial. (I'm not talking about child abuse in my case, but a general inability to believe that certain things could happen.) I don't think any human is immune to it, either. Just, for some, it never really comes back to bite them.

This female and the others like her would probably deny they need a man that much. That the men they bring into their homes, after a couple hours acquaintance, would have any ability to hurt a child. They would absolutely believe the lines the guy gives them about being true to them, about how things disappeared, about how the kid got bruises, about how they lost their last job. It's all relatible, all golden. They would deny what their children's actions and words tell them. It's just that the little ones want mommy around all the time -- we all know that -- so why would they ever suspect that there was a real cause? And when the POS man says the kid is soft or needs discipline, they buy it -- because we all know or secretly suspect we're spoiling them, overcompensating for something most likely -- so why not let the man bring a little tough love into the home, and be a dad. It's so hopeful for the permanency of the relationship and the formation of a family that he's getting involved with the kids.

All the above really speaks to the human instinct to mate and form family units, if not to perspicacity or the instinct to protect our offspring. Yes, indeed, crudely, the need for penis. I think of these women as animals, in some ways. From our vantage, they have no discernment. They don't take the time to make observations, use logic, and weigh consequences. Instead, we see they want love. Sex equates to love. Hormones drive the urge to mate. When they find a man, have sex, and he shows a passing interest in being around for more than a night -- that must equal love. (His motivation to have sex is constant. So he sees that he got some poon, wants it regularly, this must be his chance. Unless something better walks by in tight shorts.) Install man in home. Keep fornicating. The mechanics of life go on, shelter must be provided, food obtained. The mate will help with the child rearing. (The new man actually can't stand the rug rats and resents them in his new nest. They require his attention, interfere in his rest, his preoccupation with his dick, his fun.) Faults in the smooth surface of the family dynamic go unrecognized, denied because they don't fit the picture or there seems to be a rational excuse (takes time to learn to know each other, make space for each other).

Sex happens fast; child-rearing takes time. The mating instinct may be stronger than than the maternal instinct, or maybe it's that it's much more easily gratified, whereas child-rearing takes more than simple instinct.

**Whisper** · February 14th, 2012, 03:37 PM

Originally Posted by Tundratot

WTH set him off? I guess he'd seemed pretty acceptable, a gentleman?

I think most of these women, despite all the good points that @ceisdsgil makes, would not see themselves in any of our stories. There seems to be no human trait quite so strong as denial. I learned just how strong my own denial is some years back -- about 8 -- and I then reviewed my life and saw very clearly that I had a lifetime of denial. (I'm not talking about child abuse in my case, but a general inability to believe that certain things could happen.) I don't think any human is immune to it, either. Just, for some, it never really comes back to bite them.

This female and the others like her would probably deny they need a man that much. That the men they bring into their homes, after a couple hours acquaintance, would have any ability to hurt a child. They would absolutely believe the lines the guy gives them about being true to them, about how things disappeared, about how the kid got bruises, about how they lost their last job. It's all relatible, all golden. They would deny what their children's actions and words tell them. It's just that the little ones want mommy around all the time -- we all know that -- so why would they ever suspect that there was a real cause? And when the POS man says the kid is soft or needs discipline, they buy it -- because we all know or secretly suspect we're spoiling them, overcompensating for something most likely -- so why not let the man bring a little tough love into the home, and be a dad. It's so hopeful for the permanency of the relationship and the formation of a family that he's getting involved with the kids.

All the above really speaks to the human instinct to mate and form family units, if not to perspicacity or the instinct to protect our offspring. Yes, indeed, crudely, the need for penis. I think of these women as animals, in some ways. From our vantage, they have no discernment. They don't take the time to make observations, use logic, and weigh consequences. Instead, we see they want love. Sex equates to love. Hormones drive the urge to mate. When they find a man, have sex, and he shows a passing interest in being around for more than a night -- that must equal love. (His motivation to have sex is constant. So he sees that he got some poon, wants it regularly, this must be his chance. Unless something better walks by in tight shorts.) Install man in home. Keep fornicating. The mechanics of life go on, shelter must be provided, food obtained. The mate will help with the child rearing. (The new man actually can't stand the rug rats and resents them in his new nest. They require his attention, interfere in his rest, his preoccupation with his dick, his fun.) Faults in the smooth surface of the family dynamic go unrecognized, denied because they don't fit the picture or there seems to be a rational excuse (takes time to learn to know each other, make space for each other).

Sex happens fast; child-rearing takes time. The mating instinct may be stronger than than the maternal instinct, or maybe it's that it's much more easily gratified, whereas child-rearing takes more than simple instinct.

Because Case was squirming all over the place like a normal 3yo and he didnt like that

**Tundratot** · February 14th, 2012, 03:45 PM

Originally Posted by Whisper

Because Case was squirming all over the place like a normal 3yo and he didnt like that

Idiot. You did right, kicking him to the curb. Not that I had any doubts.

**BreakTheSilence** · February 14th, 2012, 11:20 PM

@Whisper Good on you! I have been dating a guy for the past 18 months. He was there when I took custody of my now daugters. I am currently expecting a baby and he is the father. Last week I was in the kitchen cooking dinner and my girls were in the living room playing. He came over and was sitting in with them watching tv. I suddenly hear my 4 yr old start crying like her heart is breaking. I go in and catch him in the act of spanking her. Let's just say I went off on him. I had a butcher knife in my hand as I was cutting up chicken. I looked at him and looked at the knife and told him if he wanted to keep his life he had 10 seconds to get the fuck out of my house. He left. He called the next day and asked if I was over my "temper tantrum". My reply was this "hell no I'm not over my temper tantrum. That is MY daughter not your's and you will NEVER put your hands on her again." My daughter had red marks on her. I immediately took her to the hospital and filed a police report. I don't know if anything will be done, although I am hoping he's charged with battery on a child under 14. He and I are beyond done. Once this baby is born I will be taking that police report and contacting an attorney to get him set for supervised visitation or none at all. Bottom line is this.. NO man is worth the health, mental or emotional well being of my daughters, or this baby I'm carrying.

**Shadow** · February 14th, 2012, 11:33 PM

@BreakTheSilence That took a lot of courage and strength. Good for you, sweetie. I hope you're successful in your endeavor. He should have understood the rules, before he ever moved in with you. If he didn't, he should've asked. Why did he spank her? I'm curious as to the infraction?

~shadow

**BreakTheSilence** · February 15th, 2012, 03:11 AM

@ceisdsgil
He hadn't moved in yet. That was supposed to happen on March 1st. It will NOT be happening ever in this lifetime. He put his hands on my baby. He won't get a repeat chance. I feel so guilty that I even allowed him around my kids. I had dated him for 9 months before he ever met them though. He spanked her because she stood in front of the tv and blocked him being able to see it. I knew when the girls came to live with me they had been physically abused at their mother's house by her "man". When the girls first came to live with me I sat down with my CPS caseworker and told her straight up "look I'm new to being a parent, please put me in parent classes, nutrition classes, first aid classes, child behavior classes as well as anything else you offer that will help me be a better parent to these girls." She put me in all the mentioned classes. In addition I attended parenting classes at my church. I learned several effective ways of disciplining my daughters without resorting to physical punishment. The girls were very traumatized by what they went through. Since this "spanking" my baby girl hasn't let me out of her sight. She is back to sleeping in my room even. I feel so guilty that this happened. I read so many stories on here about boyfriends abusing the kids. I shouldn't have ever allowed him around the girls. The bottom line is standing in front of the TV is NOT a spankable or punishable offense. I would have walked over and led her to the toy box I keep in the living room and got her interested in toys to divert her away from the TV. I can tell you this, NO one will ever put their hands on them again. I just wish I had taken her in the kitchen with me when I started dinner then none of this would have happened. This sounds bad, but I almost feel like I should be featured as an example of a bad parent. I left him in the room with them. How do I begin to deal with feeling like this is my fault???

**Tundratot** · February 15th, 2012, 03:49 AM

I would have walked over and led her to the toy box I keep in the living room and got her interested in toys to divert her away from the TV. I can tell you this, NO one will ever put their hands on them again. I just wish I had taken her in the kitchen with me when I started dinner then none of this would have happened.

My feeling is -- all you would have done is delay the inevitable. You found this out sooner rather than later, and you took immediate action to prevent it ever happening again. You did well.

I would be looking into whether or not he could be reported to the CPS in case he ever gets into another household with vulnerable children again. On this site, too many dickwads are able to move into homes with children and remain completely under the CPS's radar.

**BreakTheSilence** · February 15th, 2012, 04:02 AM

@Tundratot
He's been reported to my original caseworker. I called her from the hospital. She told me I did everything I could have done:
1. Getting him out of the home
2. Taking my daughter for medical care just to be sure
3. Filing a police report
4. Reassuring my daughters this was not their fault, and giving them extra attention after the fact. She did tell me she would note this on my old file but even if they had been called out, given what I did there would be nothing done.
She went on to tell me she wished all parents were as thorough as I was. I still can't help but feel like I should have prevented this from happening. I have been so cautious for the last year.

My apologies. I realize this topic is about 11 yr old Donovan. Rest in peace sweet child!

**Shadow** · February 15th, 2012, 04:37 AM

Originally Posted by BreakTheSilence

@ceisdsgil
He hadn't moved in yet. That was supposed to happen on March 1st. It will NOT be happening ever in this lifetime. He put his hands on my baby. He won't get a repeat chance. I feel so guilty that I even allowed him around my kids. I had dated him for 9 months before he ever met them though. He spanked her because she stood in front of the tv and blocked him being able to see it. I knew when the girls came to live with me they had been physically abused at their mother's house by her "man". When the girls first came to live with me I sat down with my CPS caseworker and told her straight up "look I'm new to being a parent, please put me in parent classes, nutrition classes, first aid classes, child behavior classes as well as anything else you offer that will help me be a better parent to these girls." She put me in all the mentioned classes. In addition I attended parenting classes at my church. I learned several effective ways of disciplining my daughters without resorting to physical punishment. The girls were very traumatized by what they went through. Since this "spanking" my baby girl hasn't let me out of her sight. She is back to sleeping in my room even. I feel so guilty that this happened. I read so many stories on here about boyfriends abusing the kids. I shouldn't have ever allowed him around the girls. The bottom line is standing in front of the TV is NOT a spankable or punishable offense. I would have walked over and led her to the toy box I keep in the living room and got her interested in toys to divert her away from the TV. I can tell you this, NO one will ever put their hands on them again. I just wish I had taken her in the kitchen with me when I started dinner then none of this would have happened. This sounds bad, but I almost feel like I should be featured as an example of a bad parent. I left him in the room with them. How do I begin to deal with feeling like this is my fault???

You did not fail them. You took every reasonable precaution to protect them. You had no way of knowing that he would do something like this. You are correct in that there are several ways that are effective to discipline without resorting to physical punishment. You're also correct in your statement that standing in front of the TV is not a punishable offense. The correct thing to do, would've been to divert the child's attention to something else, like the toybox, as you stated. Someone else stated that by taking her into the kitchen, you'd have only prolonged the inevitable. I believe this is true. 'Tis better you found out before marrying this person.

I will say this, with what you've been through with these children, I hope that somewhere down the road you're able to find the right man to share your life with. I hope you're able to reach a place where you feel you can trust him and that he is God's gift to you and these children. Perhaps the next time you think you've found one, maybe ask him to accompany you to parenting classes. You want to be sure he understand the appropriate methods of discipline for the children's age ranges. It'd be a good learning experience for him to get some first aid training for children and other types of training to learn how to take care of children.

You won't be able to watch them, every second. As they get older, they are going to want to go to friends' houses and have sleep overs and other activities. I know it won't be an easy decision for you to cope with these things. At some point you'll want to trust them too.

I will keep you and the children in my thoughts and prayers.

~shadow

**sintax** · February 15th, 2012, 08:21 AM

@BreakTheSilence, please quit beating yourself up. You did everything you could have done in the situation. I am with the rest of the posters here......you are lucky that you found out now. You got some information and you correctly used that information. You reacted perfectly once you realized what you were dealing with. I don't know what more you could have done.

You say that you wish you had taken your daughter into the kitchen with you. Really? Then you would still have this guy in your life and your house. Shit happens for a reason. I firmly believe this. This incident occurred while you were home so that you could see it happen and learn the truth about your relationship. You lived and you learned.

You and your children will be fine. I have no doubt!