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Hello Name Removed,
We at The Demon's Den would like to wish you a happy birthday today!I dont know who you are and how you got this name "username removed" and my email address... but please remove me from your system...consider it a birthday gift to me. thank you.We didn't get your email address. You gave it us when you (or someone on your computer) registered to our forums on Dec 3, 2008 from the exact same IP address as this email you sent us. But as you requested, the birthday emails from us will stop and as legend has it, the good luck it brings. In our six years of sending out automatic Birthday Wishes, you are only the third person to ask us to stop sending them...and the other two have not had a real good time of things after doing so.
In 2007, Jason Granger aka Rangarok, asked us to stop sending him automatic Happy Birthday wishes every April 4th. At the time he was a 24-year-old working his way up the corporate ladder of Circuit City. He had just purchased a new home, a new car and his high school sweetheart accepted his marriage proposal. After his rejection of our Happy Birthday wishes, Circuit City filed for bankruptcy after failing to find a buyer. Granger was let go and soon fell into a deep depression that led to drugs and time in jail for soliciting an undercover officer in a local park. He lost his home, his car and his pregnant wife left him for the officer who arrested him. He finally asked that our Happy Birthday emails resume and since that day he's entered rehab where he kicked his computer cleaner huffing addiction and found work shrink-wrapping Blu-Rays at an Amazon.com distribution center. He and his ex-wife are talking again and as of last month, he has been promoted to floor supervisor.
In 2009, Stacey Windham aka Mommyof6, asked that we stop sending her unsolicited Happy Birthday wishes every Nov 3rd. At the time she was operating a fairly successful home-made whole-wheat pasta business. She had just signed a contract with the city where her healthy pasta alternative would be served as a lunch choice in all the school cafeteria's in the district. She purchased a larger building for manufacturing and shipping and hired on three family members to help. Her husband, a Director of IT Security for the Greater Dayton Area Hospital Association, quit his job to help run the business. One month after her request to stop our Happy Birthday wishes, her noodles became infested with boll weevil beetles.
Unbeknownst to her, a pair of lazy cafeteria workers at a local elementary school were simply washing off the bugs and serving the pasta to the students anyway. Their actions were uncovered by 12-year-old Kerri Martin in her article for the school paper titled "A Cafeteria Food Fight Over Health". The fallout resulted in Windham's contract with the schools being severed, the eventual selling of her business and becoming the embarrassment of the community. She went back to being a stay-at-home mom while her husband found work as a Geek Squad manager in a local Best Buy. That is until she requested our Happy Birthday emails resume. Since that day, Windham discovered a cheap way to kill boll weevils that is not harmful to humans and is currently in negotiations to sell her product to the US Department of Agriculture as part of their Boll Weevil Eradication Program.
If you are a Jehovah's Witness, then we completely understand you not wanting unsolicited emails wishing you a Happy Birthday. But as you can see from these examples, your luck may have just changed because of your request, a request we have honored. If you find that you suddenly have no objections to a harmless Happy Birthday from Dreamindemon.com, please feel free to email us and let us know and we will be more than happy to change your luck for the better.
The staff at Dreamindemon.com. Good luck!
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Originally Posted by Morbid
I almost considered sending a "Thank you!" email one time, but I figured he would reply, "For what?" and that would just crush the whole thing.
I never got my birthday wish jeezz!
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