Dorothy Hightower, 40 Strangled Her Mom Because Nothing is Ever Right To Her

**Rockin Ma** · October 23rd, 2010, 10:57 AM

Waterford - Reportedly sick of being constantly yelled at, a Waterford woman finally "lost it" Friday morning and tried to strangle her mother, according to police, choking the woman until she lost consciousness.

Police lodged attempted murder and second-degree strangulation charges against Dorothy Hightower, 40, of 32 Dimmock Road. Hightower was arraigned Friday afternoon at New London Superior Court and is being held on a $150,000 bond. Hightower did not enter a plea, and her case was continued to Nov. 4.

According to a probable cause report, Waterford police received a call about 10:23 a.m. Friday from a woman who said she had strangled her mother. When police arrived, Hightower was waiting for them outside the house and told them, "I lost it, I strangled my mother." When police asked whether the mother was OK, Hightower replied, "I don't know."

One officer handcuffed Hightower and put her in the backseat of the police cruiser while a second officer ran inside to check on the mother. Police found the 58-year-old woman conscious and propped up on a bed in a second-floor bedroom with blood coming from her nose and mouth. She was taken to Lawrence & Memorial Hospital.

When questioned, Hightower said she had been downstairs folding laundry when she heard her mother in her room upstairs, "screaming because the roofers had done the roof on the house wrong, and her cousin had remodeled the bathroom wrong," according to the report.

Hightower told police she went upstairs and confronted her mother, asking, "Is anything ever right for you?" When her mother started yelling at her, Hightower said, she "lost it," putting her hands around her mother's neck, pushing her onto the bed, and telling her "this was going to be the best thing that ever happened to her."

Hightower squeezed her mother's neck until the woman turned purple, she said, and told police that as she was squeezing her mother's neck, her mother asked, "What about your boys?"

Hightower is a married mother of two, according to a bail commissioner's report to Judge Kevin McMahon at the arraignment Friday. The bail commissioner also said Hightower has a history of depression and mental health issues, receives Social Security benefits and has been on and off various medications. She has no prior criminal record, he said. He also described her as a substitute teacher, but didn't say which district, nor whether she was currently employed as such. Hightower's lawyer, public defender Shawn Tiernan, added later that Hightower also has epilepsy.

According to the probable cause report, Hightower said she saw blood coming from her mother's mouth as she choked her and that, as she looked at her mother, she thought, "What a sad, lonely, angry woman." Her mother passed out at one point, the report says.

Hightower told police she intended to kill her mother and described a combination of emotions in allegedly attempting to do so.

"Hightower stated that she was full of so much hate and love and she wanted the victim to be in a better place," the report says

http://www.theday.com/article/201010...310239874/1018

Damn!

**TwiztidAngel** · October 23rd, 2010, 11:09 AM

Reportedly sick of being constantly yelled at, a Waterford woman finally "lost it" Friday morning and tried to strangle her mother, according to police, choking the woman until she lost consciousness.

the woman is 40 yrs old...why didn't she just move away??

**Dakota Valkyrie** · October 23rd, 2010, 11:19 AM

You can't strangle people that are always yelling. Their neck muscles are too strong from all that screaming. Knife 'em.

**TheMeaningOfItAll** · October 23rd, 2010, 11:47 AM

I can honestly say that if I had to be the main caregiver for my mother, I might snap. I know my own limits. I feel a little sympathy for this lady because I don't think our society provides enough emotional support to caregivers.
My mother has suffered from a chronic illness the past year and recently had surgery to remove her colon and large intestine. I have been taking her to and from doctor appointments, doing laundry, cleaning her apartment, buying groceries, filling out paperwork, visiting her at the hospital, bathing her because the nurses and techs are too busy, etc. She calls me crying several times a day and says she needs to see me and misses me. When I visit her, she cries when I leave. She refuses to cooperate with physical therapists, won't learn how to clean her ostomy bag herself, asks the nurses to do everything, leaves the phone off the hook so she doesn't have to talk to people, has the nurses and techs running around doing everything for her. She won't make necessary phone calls to get herself the financial assistance she needs and has been incredibly ungrateful. So, I believe this woman needs counseling and (obviously) freedom from caring for her mother. Thank goodness for hospitals and nursing homes!

**Rockin Ma** · October 23rd, 2010, 12:57 PM

I'm not sure she was her mother's caregiver. I can't find anything indicating that.

Hightower is a married mother of two, according to a bail commissioner's report to Judge Kevin McMahon at the arraignment Friday. The bail commissioner also said Hightower has a history of depression and mental health issues, receives Social Security benefits and has been on and off various medications. She has no prior criminal record, he said. He also described her as a substitute teacher, but didn't say which district, nor whether she was currently employed as such. Hightower's lawyer, public defender Shawn Tiernan, added later that Hightower also has epilepsy.

Hope she's not teaching. She don't have the patience for it.

**VXIII** · October 23rd, 2010, 01:29 PM

The MeaningofitAll, so sorry, dont know what to say but if you ever need to ventilate, Ill be here...

**TheMeaningOfItAll** · October 24th, 2010, 05:32 PM

Thanks VXIII! I guess I had a weak moment there and vented. I do understand that technically she wasn't her caregiver, but it sounds like there are issues between those two.

According to the probable cause report, Hightower said she saw blood coming from her mother's mouth as she choked her and that, as she looked at her mother, she thought, "What a sad, lonely, angry woman." Her mother passed out at one point, the report says.

It sounds like Mama was an unhappy old nag and the daughter was the one left to deal with her. Some people just shouldn't be near each other--family or not.

**Aslan** · October 24th, 2010, 05:45 PM

The more people I meet, the more I realize that some will simply not allow themselves to be happy. My ex boss in NM was like that. I called him Eeyore because absolutely nothing could/would please this man. Jesus Himself could come back and he would bitch about the timing or something. I've pretty much made it a habit of steering clear of folks like that or at least not depending on them for some sense of approval or self-worth statements. Sad to say, the 'steal your sunshine' folks really do exist. It's almost as if that's the only source of happiness for them, causing misery/complaining.
This woman is a classic example of someone who didn't make that realization and went over the edge.

**Rockin Ma** · October 24th, 2010, 08:56 PM

The mom is only 58, that's younger than my own mom.

**VXIII** · October 25th, 2010, 12:44 AM

Originally Posted by TheMeaningOfItAll

I can honestly say that if I had to be the main caregiver for my mother, I might snap. I know my own limits. I feel a little sympathy for this lady because I don't think our society provides enough emotional support to caregivers.
My mother has suffered from a chronic illness the past year and recently had surgery to remove her colon and large intestine. I have been taking her to and from doctor appointments, doing laundry, cleaning her apartment, buying groceries, filling out paperwork, visiting her at the hospital, bathing her because the nurses and techs are too busy, etc. She calls me crying several times a day and says she needs to see me and misses me. When I visit her, she cries when I leave. She refuses to cooperate with physical therapists, won't learn how to clean her ostomy bag herself, asks the nurses to do everything, leaves the phone off the hook so she doesn't have to talk to people, has the nurses and techs running around doing everything for her. She won't make necessary phone calls to get herself the financial assistance she needs and has been incredibly ungrateful. So, I believe this woman needs counseling and (obviously) freedom from caring for her mother. Thank goodness for hospitals and nursing homes!

**CadburyCremeGirl** · October 25th, 2010, 02:50 AM

Yup, I know that feeling.

People like that(the mom) tend to be unhappy people and are only content if you are miserable with them. As you all know, my grandmother hurt herself at work, and because her husband is a no good(blank blank), I had to go take care of her.

My mother didn't have to because she had work.

So I did it for over 6 months. And all I had to hear was either how I was all good one moment and all bad the other. Verbal attacks and just being a plain grouch. By the time I left, I wasn't talking to her husband(who on the last day of my visit threatened to shoot me).
A little info on her husband. I took care of him a little while before her because he just came out of prostate cancer surgery. So I cooked, cleaned, did whatever I could. I'm not his grandchild(by blood) I owe him nothing. But I did it anyway. And as a way of thanks, he terrorized me for 7 months.

While I talk to my grandmother(after a month of ignoring her calls), I have cut off all contact with her husband. As for visiting? I'm not setting foot in there again. I took care of them and they bled me try. They are perfect for each other.

**Proud wife** · October 26th, 2010, 08:04 AM

I know at times I can be a bitch, I have no problem admitting that. So, this is why when I get older & am unable to take care of my self, I want to be put into a nursing home for old cranky people.

I can understand why this woman did what she did, I know it's wrong, but I understand. I have a mother like hers & have not spoke to her in 5 yrs now. She is the type of person who argue about everything & try to make you feel bad about yourself no matter what. And the nicer you try to be to her, the meaner she is. She will talk shit about you to anyone who listen, hell even if no one is listening, she will still talk shit. So, I understand & I actually feel this woman. I do think that instead of wrapping her hands around her mothers throat, she should have just left the house.

**Rockin Ma** · October 26th, 2010, 10:43 AM

I disagree. I don't feel for the woman at all and I'm looking forward to finding out more details.

I don't care what the woman wanted to yell about. I'm betting it was HER house, HER roof and bathroom to have every right to bitch about.

It's a four bedroom house. Pretty big for her mom to be in alone. Maybe her daughter lived with her, which just makes it even worse IMO. Assaulting her in her own home.

Fuck that. Hope someone whoops her up for hurting her mom.