Vampire Causes Accident

[Dakota Valkyrie]

A woman claims she spotted a vampire on the road ahead of her and it made her back her car into a canal around 11 p.m. Sunday.

According to authorities, the woman was driving on a dirt road at K and 20 Roads near Fruita when she says she encountered the vampire.

She says it scared her, and she threw her car into reverse, backing it into a canal.

She was not injured. Her husband arrived on the scene and took her home. Troopers do not suspect alcohol or drugs to be factors in this accident.

They added that they found no evidence of a vampire.

http://www.nbc11news.com/home/headlines/97293489.html

[Parrot Toes]

Fuck, those vampires are a hazard to humanity. We should rid the world of them completely. She's just lucky she threw her vehicle in reverse, that probably confused the bloodsucker and saved her life. Fucking vampires.

[Valasca]

C'mon now, she COULD have meant psychic vampire.
Or did she see... what the fuck is that little boys name... Robert Patterson jumped out in front of her car.

[Dakota Valkyrie]

I've seen some of those vampires on TV. I would stop my car and run TO them. Hawt!!!!

[akika666]

C'mon now, she COULD have meant psychic vampire.
Or did she see... what the fuck is that little boys name... Robert Patterson jumped out in front of her car.

if that dude jumped in front of my car, i'd floor it! and then i'd expect a Nobel prize ASAP.

[MC30]

yeah..she just wanted some reason to get out of the ticket. stupid nondriving bitch. and yes, i do hate her for pulling the im a dumb woman card...oh it was a Vampire, i was sooo scared mr. officer man, i hope my husband doesn't get mad at me..*bats eyelashes like a bug stuck in one*

[akika666]

yeah..she just wanted some reason to get out of the ticket. stupid nondriving bitch. and yes, i do hate her for pulling the im a dumb woman card...oh it was a Vampire, i was sooo scared mr. officer man, i hope my husband doesn't get mad at me..*bats eyelashes like a bug stuck in one*

i've pulled the dumb woman card, once or twice, but it didn't involve mythical fantasy creatures charging cross the road. maybe that's what i did wrong...? that, and i absolutely cannot cry on cue.

[Valasca]

See, I am not short and cute. I am tall and... well, mannish. I NEVER get away with playing the dumb card. Can't bat my eyelashes, does not look good on me.
I suppose one day I COULD flash the bewbies, but that probably wouldn't work, either.

[MC30]

i've pulled the dumb woman card, once or twice, but it didn't involve mythical fantasy creatures charging cross the road. maybe that's what i did wrong...? that, and i absolutely cannot cry on cue.

i can't do it. the only time it works is when i really don't know what the hell im doing, then i really am the dumb woman. but it has never ever involved vampires.

[akika666]

See, I am not short and cute. I am tall and... well, mannish. I NEVER get away with playing the dumb card. Can't bat my eyelashes, does not look good on me.
I suppose one day I COULD flash the bewbies, but that probably wouldn't work, either.

lol i've gotten to the age where that is more likely to piss off the cop than anything.

[thehesbomb]

It could have been worse - it could have been a zombie. She'd be BRAAAAINLESS.

[Pete Bondurant]

It is time to do away, for once and for all, with these devilish, blood-sucking parasites....and those who emulate them and grant them succor. These wretched, Godless witches and vampyres, creatures of Satan.....should suffer the wrath of OUR LORD with rods of fire forced into their arses, thus causing them calamities great.

[akika666]

It is time to do away, for once and for all, with these devilish, blood-sucking parasites....and those who emulate them and grant them succor. These wretched, Godless witches and vampyres, creatures of Satan.....should suffer the wrath of OUR LORD with rods of fire forced into their arses, thus causing them calamities great.

what dost thou propose to endeth the scourge of these devilyshe creatures?

hehehe you said "succor." i just met her.

[Pete Bondurant]

what dost thou propose to endeth the scourge of these devilyshe creatures?

hehehe you said "succor." i just met her.

It should be known to all that such creatures and those who abet them, shall be punished in measures most extreme, and that the method most suitable for such a campaign is death by fire.

[Valasca]

It could have been worse - it could have been a zombie. She'd be BRAAAAINLESS.

Evidentally she already is.

[eracsurfer]

with rods of fire forced into their arses, thus causing them calamities great.

Would that be where the "Damnation without relief" arises?

[CplPunishment]

if that dude jumped in front of my car, i'd floor it! and then i'd expect a Nobel prize ASAP.

You would have done more to deserve it than Oblama.