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Thread: Sharon Childs Struggles With Decisions That Led To Her Daughter's Death

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    Sharon Childs Struggles With Decisions That Led To Her Daughter's Death

    Kinda long worth the read


    Years later, a mother struggles with decisions that led to her daughter's death
    As she moves from one modest place to another, Sharon Childs never forgets to take the cardboard box with the little red velvet dress. • It is the dress she bought for her daughter, Brittany, at Christmas in 1990, the year they came to Florida. • The dress Brittany wears in a photo of her standing in her playpen. • The dress she would never outgrow. • On Feb. 9, 1991, Childs had just started on the night shift at a Largo nursing home. She left 15-month-old Brittany with her new boyfriend, a man Childs barely knew, a man who so resented having to babysit and change Brittany's dirty diaper that, as he later told police, he "freaked out." • Freaked out so badly that he swung the little girl like a baseball bat, repeatedly bashing her head against the floor and the furniture. Medical examiners said her injuries were equivalent to being hit by a car. • Very few women know what it feels like to return home to a dead child. Very few women know what it feels like to be the person who invited her child's killer into her home. • Childs knows, and just like the baby's dress, she carries that knowledge with her everywhere she goes. • "I did not kill my daughter, I know that, but because of my youth I was unable to make appropriate decisions about her safety and well-being. There's a little part of me that feels responsibility for her death. I couldn't have told you that 20 years ago. I could only tell you that today because of age and experience." • It has been called "the boyfriend problem.''

    Young and jealous
    In the Tampa Bay area alone, authorities say at least 17 children have been killed since 1990 by their mothers' boyfriends.

    There was Alexis DeJesus, 3, who died in May from what Hillsborough deputies say was a fatal beating.
    And Isiah Ian McGuire, 11 months, who died in April 2009 of head and internal injuries.
    And Mia Alvarez, 16 months, pummeled with a closed fist on the top and sides of her head in May 2007.
    Although there are no good statistics on kids killed by boyfriends, one study found that children living with unrelated adults are nearly 50 times as likely to die of physical abuse as kids living with both parents. And the injuries often come at the hands of young adult males.
    "Youth is a biggie — if you look at data on homicide in general it spikes really big around 18 to 24 because that's when testosterone is high and status competition is high,'' says Joseph Vandello, a social psychologist at the University of South Florida. "Both for biological and social reasons young adulthood is a time of a lot of conflict and violence.''
    [...]
    "Nonmarried couples are less stable than married ones, and if you add a child from a previous relationship you're setting up the context for resentment toward this child,'' Vandello says. "The kid is like a constant reminder of that other relationship and I think that's where jealousy comes in.''
    Richard "Rico'' McTear Jr. was jealous. Soon after his girlfriend, Jasmine Bedwell, gave birth on Jan. 25, 2009, to another man's son, McTear demanded to know when she was going to have his baby. She rebuffed him, and three months later, authorities say, McTear kidnapped little Emanuel Wesley Murray Jr. and flung him from a moving car into traffic on Interstate 275.
    In Florida, 11 of the 31 child deaths due to intentional injury in 2008 were caused by "male paramours,'' the Florida Child Abuse Death Review Committee found. Though biological fathers accounted for slightly more deaths, 13, the boyfriend problem was serious enough to be highlighted by the committee in its report to Gov. Charlie Crist and state lawmakers.
    Typical triggers, the report said, are crying and dirty diapers. Frequently, there are histories of substance abuse, domestic violence, criminal activity.
    [...]
    Early choices
    Looking back at her life, Childs knows that financial struggles were one reason she ended up with the man who killed her daughter. But the path that led her there began much earlier.
    "I was just wanting somebody to love me. Because of circumstances that happened to me as a child'' — she won't say what — "it caused promiscuity in my life.''
    At 17, she had her first baby, Joshua. The father was white, but most other white boys ignored her.
    "Let me show you something,'' she says, fetching a studio photo taken in her senior year. "I weighed 165 in that picture. They called me a 'fat b----.' "
    Black boys, though, whistled and threw her approving looks. "It was better than nothing," she says. "I think that's why I went in that direction.''
    By the time she was 20, Childs had two more kids — Ashley, then Brittany — by a man who was half-black. She gave up custody of Joshua to her parents because "he wouldn't mind, and I was going to end up hurting him myself.''
    She also lost custody of Ashley. To escape from what she says had become an abusive relationship with the girls' father, Childs and Brittany moved to Pinellas County where her parents were living.
    Childs worked at Checkers and a nursing home. She found an apartment in Largo, got a new man. After he moved out, it wasn't long before she met 23-year-old David Roger Flint Jr.
    Flnt, adopted as a baby by two white parents, had always "felt awkward because he was a little darker complected,'' his mother Patricia would later recall. "We could never really tell him if he was biracial or not. We did tell him his father may have been Puerto Rican and black.''
    Childs was instantly attracted.
    "He was funny. And going back to why I like blacks, he liked me, and the fact he liked me made me like him.''
    [...]
    "I was a young mother. I had to go to work,'' Childs says. "He had recently lost his job and I was going to work the night shift so in the day he could get out and find a job. That was how I could work and the baby would be taken care of.''
    Childs had no reason, she says, to suspect that her shy new boyfriend could turn violent. Nor did she realize that every time she left, Brittany cried.
    Just a few days after Flint moved in, Childs left at 10:30 p.m. for her nursing home job. She arrived home the next morning to a strong odor of menthol.
    "I walked into the bedroom — there were twin beds — and David was lying on one and Brittany on the other. He was on his bed smoking a cigarette so nonchalantly and Brittany was on the other in a fetal position, her legs underneath her.''
    "What in the world is that smell?'' Childs asked.
    Flint said Brittany apparently had fallen out of her crib during the night and hit her head on a table. Because she seemed to have trouble breathing, he had turned on a portable vaporizer. But Childs saw no gentle rise and fall of breath.
    "I turned her over onto her side and there was vomit coming from the side of her mouth and out of her nose. And the shell of her ear was purple. At that moment I knew my baby was dead.''
    Childs wrapped Brittany in a blanket and with Flint driving, took her to nearby Suncoast Hospital. There was nothing the hospital could do.
    From there, memories blur. Childs recalls her father suggesting that Flint had intentionally hurt Brittany. She recalls Flint being even quieter than usual.
    "I just chalked that up to, this isn't her father and there's no emotional attachment to Brittany.'' And she recalls Flint going to Albertsons for cigarettes. He never came back.
    Police arrested him two days later at a friend's place. Using a rag doll to demonstrate, he admitted "continually bumping'' the baby's head for up to three minutes on the carpet, her crib and an end table.
    Flint told police he felt bad about what he had done.
    But he "stated that he felt used by Sharon and felt that he was nothing more than a mere babysitter and someone to change the baby's diaper,'' the police report said. "He did not enjoy changing the baby's diaper but frequently had to do it because Sharon would leave the baby's diaper dirty for hours at a time.''
    Detectives told Flint he would be charged with homicide. He asked what that meant, and they said, "It's when one person takes the life of another.''
    "I did that,'' Flint said.
    Search for motive
    The case was assigned to Pinellas prosecutor Diane Bailey Morton. She specialized in child abuse cases and knew the difficulties they present.
    [...]
    Bailey Morton had never gone to the morgue to view a child's body. This time she did, even though the little girl reminded her of her own young daughter. Unusual abrasions around Brittany's vaginal area had prompted suspicions of sexual abuse. But the medical examiner concluded that the injuries were due — as Flint had said — to Flint using a rough paper towel to clean Brittany after changing her diaper because there were no baby wipes around.The medical examiner also found that Brittany had 16 bruises and died of bleeding around the brain.
    "Having been a parent I could understand the frustration, but not crossing the line to abuse,'' Bailey Morton says. "Look at all the alternatives he had as opposed to abusing the child. Walk away. Call somebody. Call 911. Ask a friend. There's a million alternatives to abuse.''
    The stte wanted the death penalty. The jury recommended life, after Flint tearfully apologized for Brittany's death.
    "I didn't come into her life to destroy it,'' he sobbed. "I don't know what happened. I wish I could make it up to her, but obviously I can't."
    Childs has little doubt what happened.
    "He knew my daughter was of mixed race and kind of like all of the anger he had toward his biological parents he took out on my child. I still don't understand the logic in that. You put your anger at those parents, not off on my child.''
    Hard lessons
    Six weeks after Brittany's murder, Childs' mother died of a heart attack. Childs struggled to cope with their deaths, telling herself that God took them because they had served their purpose on Earth — Brittany to give her courage to leave Ohio and a bad relationship, her mother to help her deal with Brittany's death.
    In the years following the trial, Childs bounced from job to job, went on food stamps, moved into low-income housing. "This was not the life I imagined for myself,'' so she got an associate's degree and became a radiology technician.
    She also had a brief marriage that produced Jamie, now 16. Afraid of letting her out of her sight, Childs wouldn't let her go on sleepovers or even to parties.
    [...]
    Once plump like her mother, Jamie recently lost 40 pounds and has attracted the attention of a 28-year-old man. Childs worries, but is afraid to be too strict with her: "I feel like if I fight too hard, I'm going to send her running into his arms.''
    [...]
    "I figured, what the hell, he's far away and young. I'll give him someone to talk to.''
    After corresponding for two years, he asked her to marry him, although he is a Muslim 11 years her junior. She flew to Morocco and finally met him in person. Presented with hundreds of e-mails and letters between the two, consular officials were sufficiently convinced theirs was not a sham relationship that they gave Hadada a visa to come to the United States.
    The couple married last summer. She took his Arabic last name but remains a Christian. Her new husband, who manages a sub shop, hopes to get his citizenship so he can bring over the rest of his family.
    For Sharon Childs Hadada, now 41, life is perhaps as good as it ever has been. She still struggles with her weight, approaching 300 pounds on her 5-foot frame, but makes enough money at a Clearwater walk-in clinic to pay for a weight-loss procedure this summer.
    One cloud: Flint, now 43 and almost two decades into his life term, is trying to get a new trial. He says his lawyers didn't tell him that he might be eligible for early release or gain time if he offered to serve 40 years.
    [...]
    "I was stupid, I was very naive. I should never have allowed a man to move into my home with my child after only knowing him a few weeks. Never choose a man over your children. I did that and it just about killed me and made my life hell. There's no man on this entire Earth that should ever come before a woman's children.''
    http://www.tampabay.com/features/hum...ghters/1106621
    Sharon Childs, 41, holds a photo of her daughter, Brittany, who was 15 months old in 1991 when she was killed by Childs’ live-in boyfriend. “She was just starting to babble words, so I can’t even remember her voice,” Childs says.
    I did not kill my daughter, I know that . . .,” Sharon Childs says. “There’s a little part of me that feels responsibility for her death.”

    For every murdered child
    We fly with all prevailing winds of change,
    For any quirk of fate we may arrange.
    We are not "meek" or "mild";
    Don't turn your back when twilight dims the sky -
    We'll haunt the perpetrators till they Die
    "Rescuing one animal may not change the world, but for that animal their world is changed forever!" - Unknown

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    "Youth is a biggie — if you look at data on homicide in general it spikes really big around 18 to 24 because that's when testosterone is high and status competition is high,''
    No fucking excuse. WALK AWAY FROM THE CHILD!
    "We must all go through a rite of passage, and it must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark." Captain Howdy, Strangeland.

    What does the Bible say about Judge Not? Read here: http://www.cfirecm.com/QandA/Judge%2...e%20Judged.htm

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    Good, the ass was snetneced to life. Fuck you, Flint.
    http://www.dc.state.fl.us/ActiveInma...onID=903449694
    "We must all go through a rite of passage, and it must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark." Captain Howdy, Strangeland.

    What does the Bible say about Judge Not? Read here: http://www.cfirecm.com/QandA/Judge%2...e%20Judged.htm

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    I have no pity for her b/c if you read the whole article shes still in denial she IS responsible for her baby's death theres no one else besides her and the killer
    Who moves a man in after 2 weeks and starts leaving your child with them?

    For every murdered child
    We fly with all prevailing winds of change,
    For any quirk of fate we may arrange.
    We are not "meek" or "mild";
    Don't turn your back when twilight dims the sky -
    We'll haunt the perpetrators till they Die
    "Rescuing one animal may not change the world, but for that animal their world is changed forever!" - Unknown

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    Great President Parrot Toes's Avatar
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    I might have felt a little bit bad for her except for this:

    I did not kill my daughter, I know that . . .,” Sharon Childs says. “There’s a little part of me that feels responsibility for her death.”
    I can understand youth, stupidity, no support, stupidity, past abuse, stupidity, feelings of invincibility due to youth/stupidity and whatever but seriously?!?! She only feels that a little part of her is responsible 20 years later?!?! That's like saying a little part of me still misses her. No, bitch. It should be a huge part or better yet she should feel completely responsible.
    Last edited by Parrot Toes; July 3rd, 2010 at 09:22 PM. Reason: Forgot a stupidity.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    My one son to my other son: "Last one on the trampoline is gay!" So THAT'S the determining factor...........

    My 11 year old daughter has been playing at the park nearly everyday for 2 weeks with a friend. She has a tan that would make teenage girls envious. Her opinion of it? "Once you go black, you never go back." OMG! REALLY!?!?!?




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    This has what to do with the issue? :
    "Let me show you something,'' she says, fetching a studio photo taken in her senior year. "I weighed 165 in that picture. They called me a 'fat b----.' "
    Black boys, though, whistled and threw her approving looks. "It was better than nothing," she says. "I think that's why I went in that direction.'' (Since I can't get a nice white guy, I'll have to settle for black guys?)
    So, I'm supposed to feel bad for the racist cow who can't avoid popping out babies she can't take care of, because she decided to trust her own child to a guy she's known 2 weeks? Because she was "naive" she was 20!! not 8!
    TheMorningStar : I hear that my meat always smells damned tasty

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    why doesn't she own up to the bottom line fact that she failed her baby and is equally responsible for this poor child's suffering and death. no need to "struggle" about it.

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    Great Marshal momof3's Avatar
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    I know this has been said but I too want to reiterate that it burns my ass that she says she can't help but feel a little responsible for her daughters death! I feel horrible for any mother having to bury a child but this is the mentality that got her daughter murdered in the first place. Maybe this is how she had coped all these years but it's time to face the music...u r 100% responsible for ur daughters death, Sharon.

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    Knight Cholita's Avatar
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    Fucken dumbass! I wanna punch her face in that pic!
    Sharon would leave the baby's diaper dirty for hours at a time.- I SO believe this tho! She just looks like a mom that would do that!

    Poor little thing that cute little baby!

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    I wonder if there are reports of the child having diaper rash. If the diapers were left dirty for hours I'm sure the poor girl would be raw down there. Kids who's diapers are changed frequently get the rash from time to time. Just a thought.

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    When I started reading, I felt sympathy at first. After knowing how hard it is as a single mom who must work because welfare does not begin to cover any kind of expense, I know exactly why some women do not understand the risks to their children right away, or feel that they are trapped. I have been fighting over the welfare system for a long time with people--I think that a federal system needs to be put into place that will actually move a woman and children to a new state/area to get them away from the drugs, poverty, and environment, which can hold a person just as tightly as anything, and into a new area with training opportunities and with funds in place to provide SAFE and reliable childcare while that woman gets her life together. Obviously not just women, but statistically that's who is the initial composition is--women and their children.

    So when I read the article and remembered the desperation and fatigue and knowledge that I had to work 16 hour shifts at minimum wage, I understood and could not imagine the unbearable pain that the situation could have caused. I'm blessed and lucky, and I know it. I was stupid, though the love I had for my Baby-Bug was all-encompassing and as pure as light. But that doesn't give an automatic passport into wisdom, especially when combined with the necessities in providing basic care and shelter.

    Then I read further and the more I read, the more sickening I found this woman. I don't doubt her grief, but I feel she has not learned a fucking thing from this tragedy. Instead of putting the rest of her life to any good use, we see a woman 20 years later, whining about her weight and making ignorant albeit I think unintentional racist comments. Instead of evaluating her loss and figuring out exactly what went wrong, to evaluate the fault that she may have had, and trying to reform a system that puts women and children into danger every fucking day, she's a whining, useless mass of nothing more than she used to be. I guess she feels her biggest success is finally finding a man who has stuck with her. Most of the input she had for this article detailed her analysis of her relationships with men. Sickening and hard to feel any lingering sorrow for her.

    I hate when someone wants to place full blame on the "system" but yet I also see how this "system" harms the ones that it at least tries to protect. I would like to see articles like this, a retrospect on a tragedy and a rare voice for a baby who never had the chance to develop her own voice, to both underscore the dangers to those foolish women who are still full of potential and feel so trapped. I'd like to see them concentrate on making sure that a tired woman who is defeated by what she feels are unbreakable barriers know the dangers in this life, because there are so many honest and hardworking women out there who honestly cannot see the abstract dangers of this lifestyle because they're too defeated and exhausted from the daily needs of survival.

    This woman, I fully believe from the impressions in the article, is one of those who are too hard-up on their own codependency issues. We see them here all the time, and yet there is a greater majority I feel that we don't really see in detail-the ones who love with the purest heart and honestly feel they are providing the only solution until it's too late, and they come home to that lifeless child. Those women spend the rest of their lives in grief, and for them my heart breaks just as it breaks for the children who are taken too soon.

    this woman never learned a lesson. She just managed to survive longer than her daughter, and her mindset seems to be the same--talking about her problems with men rather than the problems within herself that led to those men.

  12. #12
    Wadi Thooo Wannabe Lizard's Avatar
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    Well done, Susan Taylor Martin, author of the article that was cited here in the D'D forums. As a fellow writer (albeit one who "works" for a "mere" true crime site and is not paid for any writing she does), I must applaud you for spinning a tale about a dead baby, a mother, and a boyfriend that has your readers focusing on a fat white chick with black boyfriends who may or may not be capable of understanding AND articulating how the choices she made in her life led to her child's death.

    And big kudos to my fellow D'D members, for once again recognizing that the mother is the true culprit in these cases of boyfriend-kills-baby!
    Lizard is not woman, and not a man. She is something you will never understand. ~From the collected works of the great and marvelous Morbid

    It's hard to shoot yourself in the foot when it's in your mouth. ~Stephen Colbert

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    Marshal lisaznola's Avatar
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    I hate so called women like this.
    I stayed with a guy for 8 years as he beat and raped me, all the while my son thought he was a great guy, actually, my son does still have many fond memories of the guy. If yo ask my son about Steven he has all kinds of great happy stories, nothing bad to say about him except Steven and mom grew apart.
    See, yeah I dated a sadistic fuck and I was stupid and young and impressionable, but that did NOT over ride my instinct as a mother.
    Steven, (my ex) knew the way to get to me was through my son so my son was golden with him. Spoiled my son rotten. He might have beat MY ass the night before, but he NEVER hit my son, never even yelled at him. Would tell him "wait until mom gets home".
    Once, Steven and I were at a park with my son and my son hit another kid. Steven called my son over and had him sit and wait. The father of the other kid asked "aren't you going to do something?" and Steven said "his mother deals with this stuff."
    THAT was his major control over me, my son loved him.
    He knew if he fucked that up he lost ALL control.
    Steven was smart, I had no family to run to, and no friends left that could help (social isolation) all I had that really mattered was my son, and he loved Steven, so I did as well for as long as I could.
    Pig bitches like this make excuses.
    Yes, after a while Steven and my on were left alone, but that was after 6 months of dating, the first of which my son did not even know Steven existed.
    Grrrr.
    Ok, no more comparisons.
    To these bitches I can say, been there, done that, but in a way that did not get my baby killed or raped.
    Fuck you pity me, had a hard time, did not know, was young excuses.
    You allowed this dick to kill your baby just so you had a warm spot to sleep in.

    Shut up you whiny cunt.

    *jumps off of soap box and stops rambling*

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